The Irish People Can Read Your Mind

We Irish folks are a mystical and magical bunch. Many of us have the capability to read people's minds. Ahh, I can sense some skepticism from my readers. See, it's working already. I suppose I will have to prove my mind reading abilities with a test.

First, I need you to read and answer the following questions as fast as you can and then click on the comments section to be amazed.

Important! You must speak the answers out loud. You don't have to shout them, just say them in a normal voice.

Do not click the comments section until you complete the questions. Otherwise, it will ruin the test.

Ready, set, go.....Say your answers out loud please. I won't be able to hear you and read your mind if you don't.

What is one plus six?

What is two plus five?

What is three plus four?

What is four plus three?

What is five plus two?

What is Six plus one?

What's your favorite vegetable?

The answer is in the comments section......

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Triple Dog Dare

Triple Dog Dared!

Great Christmas gift. Really slow in adding it to the Institute, but I am committed to getting everything up to date. (Someday anyway!) Make sure your speakers are turned up. (No, a scary monster won't jump out at you. It's just so you can hear the dialog.) Enjoy.

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Nun Punishment

Gemma Massey - Sexy Catholic Nun Punishment

Sister Gemma Massey, disciplining a careless student caught passing notes in second period religion class. The penalty, of course was immense torture followed by death by belt hanging.Perhaps nun punishment wasn't quite so harsh as depicted above, but to be fair, the nuns didn't look anything like the sexy Gemma Massey, the international model portraying the maniacal Catholic nun at the Chicago Halloween trade show.

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Idora Park Entrance Sign

This was the Idora Amusement Park entrance sign just off of Canfield Road in Youngstown, Ohio. It stood proud and tall for many years. Even years after the park closed in 1984.

A polka festival was the last advertised event at Idora Park. I can remember the yellow blinking lights and the blue background announcing to all that you had arrived at Idora Park.

The sign has been torn down several years ago but you can still see in the road the indentations where it stood.

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Triple Dog Dared

Triple Dog Dare

Apparently Inga never watched the classic holiday film, A Christmas Story. Otherwise, she would have known what happens when she sticks her tongue onto a pole.

Perhaps Inga was Triple dogged Dared much like Flick was in the movie and couldn't resist the challenge.

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New And Improved Thought Screen Helmet

Not feeling feminine fresh? Now you can everyday with the new and improved Thought Screen Helmet (Developed by the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute) made just for women. Look, it has wings and it makes toast as an added bonus. The ultimate multi-task accessory for the on-the-go business women.

WARNING:
Women are not immuned from the threat of alien abduction as some people in the scientific community had believed. Wearing the TSH to board room meetings will assuredly get you noticed. In fact, you and your thought screen helmet will be the topic of conversation no matter where you go.
And who doesn't want that type of recognition.

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Proof Of Second Shooter On The Grassy Knoll

Irrefutable Proof Of A Second Shooter

A signed confession on a U.S. dollar bill printed in the year 2000 is positive proof that Oswald did not act alone.

If it were Oswald who signed the dollar then the bill would have had to be dated 1963 or before. This one is clearly marked 2000 making it impossible for him to have signed it.

Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that a second assassin was lurking on the grassy knoll that fateful day in November 1963 and took aim at John Kennedy as he was riding in the motorcade and completed the assassination of our 35th president.

The Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists can only speculate as to why the assassin came forward after 40 plus years of silence to confess assuming that perhaps this man (FBI handwriting experts have already determined that a man wrote this confession) is dying and wished to clear his conscious before he passed away.

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1. 
   

   Othepjavier said

   February 8, 2008 at 10:24 pm e
   Maybe the guy’s just making fun. How are they so sure that the man who wrote that really shot JFK?
   Reply
2. 
   

   Chica said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:19 am e
   I had a fiver the other day that led me to that Where’s George.com site, funny enough it was a 5 dollar bill, shoulda been wheresabe.com
   Reply
3. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:53 am e
   Otherjavier,
   Because the dollar bill says so.
   Reply
4. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 12:55 am e
   Yes Chica, very cool site. I happen to know that there are a few LOTGK dollars floating around in the economy.
   Reply
5. 
   

   Steamed-Clams said

   February 9, 2008 at 10:13 pm e
   I know who it was.
   A man gave me a dollar bill on Nov 22 of this year.
   Coincidence? I think not.
   Not only did he surreptitiously slip it into my change real casual-like, but he also asked;
   “Can I help you with anything else?”
   So the assumption that this criminal is dying and wants to unburden his soul is grossly erroneous.
   He wants another job.
   Seems to me we better keep Bush out of Texas for awhile.
   In fact, we should probably take him to a cave in Utah and hide him….far far away, for a long long time.
   We must make sure he survives.
   We must have proof for future generations that we did not invent him.
   Without him, no one will believe such a man ever existed.
   Reply
6. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 9, 2008 at 11:04 pm e
   Forget about the cave in Utah. Romney has been hiding out there up until this year.
   Reply
7. 
   

   Steamed-Clams said

   February 9, 2008 at 11:57 pm e
   Yeah, But I hear Romney didn’t touch any of the complimentary booze, smokes and pretzels.
   Bush will be fine there.
   Reply
8. 
   

   LOTGK said

   February 10, 2008 at 1:27 am e
   Mitt was too busy with his eleven wives. Or so I’m told….
   Reply
9. 
   

   Chica said

   February 10, 2008 at 10:57 pm e
   If I ever get one, I’m going to keep it forever! LOL
   Reply
10. 
    

    Lori said

    February 11, 2008 at 4:56 am e
    the cave in Utah leads to hollow earth…which I am starting to believe that Elvis is living down there, along with Princess Diana, Marylin Monroe, Jim Morrison, Lee Harvey Oswald, Heath Ledger… and possibly the Kennedy brothers.
    Wouldnt that be a hoot?
    Im packing my bags, and taking a trip to Utah.
    I hear they dont age down there as fast.. I got only a few good years left if I stay here.. but I could stay young and good looking for a lot longer if I go there.
    And I am sick of spending my money on anti-wrinkle creams.
    Reply

11. Working Overtime At The Grassy Knoll Institute | Going Like Sixty said

    February 18, 2008 at 5:18 pm e
    [...] Grassy Knoll caseworkers are on their way to Dallas (let’s hope they know it’s in Texas…. News that a secret treasure trove of documents related to the Kennedy assassination was first [...]
    Reply
12. 
    

    Anti-Christ said

    March 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm e
    Wow, had a busy weekend with Jesus dying and all. But I’m back. I want to point out to you that the dollar bill doesn’t say “I” but “1″ as in one person shot JFK.
    Handwriting analysis on Oswald should prove that he wrote this on the dollar and that he acted alone in the murder of your Catholic president.
    Repent is to late. Kick back and enjoy life instead.
    Reply
13. 
    

    LOTGK said

    March 26, 2008 at 7:07 pm e
    Anti, problem with your theory, the bill is dated year 2000, 37 years after Oswald was murdered.
    Good catch though.
    Reply
14. 
    

    Gentledove said

    June 20, 2008 at 9:14 pm e
    It WAS George Washington wot did it.
    Reply
15. 
    

    LOTGK said

    June 21, 2008 at 12:14 am e
    Psst…. Over here.
    Rumor has it that a rocket scientist working at the Grassy Knoll Institute penned the phrase on the note.
    Reply
16. 
    

    Hamster said

    June 26, 2009 at 7:23 pm e
    Totally fake. Whata farce.
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      June 27, 2009 at 11:47 pm e
      What’s fake? What is a farce? It is a real dollar bill with a confession written on it. It offers more believable proof that the volumes published by the Warren Commission.
      Reply
17. 
    

    Jim Porter said

    January 5, 2010 at 1:08 pm e
    http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/11/15/f_osbanjom_22aa351.jpgThis picture was taken around 1230 pm on Nov.22 1963. Oswald was playing for a neighborhood hoot-n-nanny in his backyard during his lunch hour. Proof that he couln’t have been the shooter on the sixth floor of the TSBD.
    Reply
    • 
      

      Gumby said

      January 5, 2010 at 3:08 pm e
      I read that it was taken a week before the assassination.
      Reply
      • 
        

        LOTGK said

        January 6, 2010 at 8:49 am e
        Yes, I thought it was as well.
        Reply
18. 
    

    Jim Porter said

    January 7, 2010 at 2:41 pm e
    what are you talking about?
    Reply
    • 
      

      LOTGK said

      January 8, 2010 at 7:39 pm e
      About the picture of Oswald, I think that photo before 12:30pm on November 22, 1963.
      Reply
      • 
        

        Jim Porter said

        January 9, 2010 at 12:49 pm e
        Yeah, the real picture was in march, I WAS JOKING!
        Reply
        • 
          

          LOTGK said

          January 13, 2010 at 12:46 am e
          You don’t quite have the hang of conspiracy theories yet.
          You need to stick with the 1% truth and expand on that.
          Reply

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much

Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

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First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24 To Slam Into Earth

Asteroid TU24

As Monday rapidly approaches NASA has all their satellites trained on asteroid TU24 which is speeding towards earth on an direct impact course. The asteroid should hit the Southern hemisphere at 0500 GMT on Monday the 28th.

NASA through it's tracking satellites was able to capture this startling photograph of TU24 just as it swung around the moon heading towards earth.

God save us all.....
And for you atheists, you're up the creek without a paddle.

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Philadelphia Museum Of Art Logo

Right across the street of the Philadelphia Museum Of Art is a quaint little landing and gazebo overlooking the river. An old wooden fence guards against the danger of falling over the ledge and down the side of the ravine.As with almost all public places, etchings and carvings adorn the fence.

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Gatlinburg Aquarium Shark Tank

On a tip from a reliable source that Jimmy Hoffa's remains were buried under the Smoky Mountains Aquarium owned and operated by Ripley's, the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists immediately went there to investigate. We didn't find Hoffa, however, we snapped a few shots while inside the aquarium.

As you can see, the aquarium is huge. Sharks and other fish swim on the side and above you as you wind your way through the aquarium.

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Ink Blotter Test

To become employed as a Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientist, a litany of tests must be completed. This is the final one. The so-called pysch test.
Simply, look at the above canvass and tell us what you see in the ink blotter?
You have 30 seconds.

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New England Patriots Perfect Season

Saturday, December 29th, at 8pm EST, the New England Patriots face the New York Giants for the final regular game of the season. The Patriots, now at 14-0 will perhaps be going for a perfect season that final game while the Giants will be playing for a tight raced wild card spot. The NFL could not have dreamed of a better scenario than the match-up as all eyes will be tuning in to watch a little bit of sports history.

As if anything more was needed for the thrones of fans to tune in, several more records should be there for the taking during this game for quarterback Tom Brady and receiver Randy Moss.

Tom Brady, the Patriots quarterback, can easily shatter the record for most touchdowns in a single season during this game surpassing Peyton Manning and Dan Marino.

Randy Moss can break the receiving yards record for a single season and also break Jerry Rice's long standing record of most TD's in a single season.

The hype has already begun as the fabled 1972 Miami Dolphins, who went a perfect 17-0, are being compared to the present day Patriots on almost every NFL program. Millions of non football fans will tune in just to see what all the hub bub is all about making this one game one of the highest rated broadcasts rivaling even the super bowl games of past years.

But there's a problem. The game is slated to be televised on the NFL Network, a TV channel that only 1% of the American public receives. A game this big and no one will be able to see history possibly be written.

The NFL is standing firm stating that the game will not be switched to CBS, NBC, or FOX and will air on the NFL Network.

I will guarantee that millions of fans will be calling their local cable companies demanding that they allow the game to be shown in their area. But there's the rub.

DirecTV ponied up this year when the NFL negotiations were open and out bid the cable company giants.

This is where the conspiracy portion enters.

The NFL Network much like cable channel ESPNU have a very limited audience. About 1% of the nation has access to the NFL network football games. The cable companies balked at the cost the NFL wanted for them to air the Thursday and Saturday night special games starting Thanksgiving night every year. Hence, only DirecTV subscribers can tune in.

So what can the network do to bolster ratings? Do exactly what ESPNU did last year. Televise the top rated games on that channel knowing that it would cause an outcry from the fans and hopefully force the cable companies to pony up and televise the games. ESPNU aired the Ohio State Buckeyes while they were undefeated and ranked #1 in the country and other top ranked teams showed up on the U network when low profile games used to be only shown.

The NFL is forcing the same type of scenario. In two weeks, tens of millions of fans will be very upset not being able to view the game causing animosity and hard feelings toward their cable providers. Countless phone calls and emails will be fielded as to why the game is not available and they won't like the answer that it cost to much money to air these limited games.

The Patriots are poised to go a perfect 16-0 while Brady and Moss have obtainable NFL records as well in the final game. The NFL Network could not have asked for a better catalyst to force cable companies.

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Hooked On A Feeling

Shark Hooks In Womans Back

When in Florida, the Grassy Knoll Institute likes to relax and do a little deep sea fishing. Usually we don't catch anything and really don't care that we don't. Marlin, swordfish, and sharks are the usual catch but sometimes we get our hooks into something unusual.

Although we hauled this one into the boat, reluctantly we had to release the catch due to the Florida fish and wildlife license.

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Santa Clone Conspiracy

Santa Claus Is A Clone Conspiracy

The Grassy Knoll Institute in it's relentless pursuit of the truth, has discovered the true secret of the "Santa Claus Myth".For hundreds of years, many people wondered how Santa Claus was able to deliver presents and gifts to all the good boys and girls of the world in just one night.

The photo above is scientific evidence of a vast cloning farm that has been going on at the North Pole for many many years.

As the story goes, the original Santa gene was cloned to make thousands of the magical jolly old elves enabling them to spread out and canvass the entire globe on Christmas. So yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus. In fact, there are several thousand of them.

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Body Armor Sharks

Sharks With Body Armor

With their continuing assault on the human population, Super Alien Sharks have mutated and now have genetically altered steel plating and incredibly, they still remain buoyant and ferocious hunters and excellent swimmers.

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Parking Deck Conspiracy

Parking In Gatlinburg Tennessee

 Five dollars for all day parking doesn't sound to bad until you look at the big picture. Every year I visit Gatlinburg, Tennessee (Apparently there is a huge amount of paranormal activity in the foothills of the Smoky mountains) and I walk through this parking deck every day to and from my hotel on my way to and from work. So far no problem. But of course there is more.

Gatlinburg is a very busy tourist and convention town. Literally thousands of locals and out of towners flock into Gatlinburg during the morning hours to attend conventions, shopping, sightseeing, visit Ober Gatlinburg, and other activities. This parking deck is the only spot to park as you are not permitted to on the Parkway strip.

As you might believe, this deck is very popular and by 10am is packed. The only problem is, the above $5.00 parking sign is not posted in the mornings.

Parking Deck In Gatlinburg Tennessee

This one is!

That's right kids, early in the morning the parking attendant tapes this $10.00 parking sign at the entrance covering the $5.00 signs. At roughly 10am, the $10.00 sign is taken down and for the rest of the day, parking is only five dollars.

The parking deck has a monopoly and you either pay the $10.00 or you don't park. It's that simple. But the sign says, $5.00 parking all day. What it really should say is, parking is $5.00 all day except during the morning hours when demand is at it's highest which at that time you will pay $10.00 or whatever we want you to pay.

The Grassy Knoll Institute has a sneaking suspicion that Exxon Corporation owns this parking deck.

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Catholic Nuns Plotting My Eternal Damnation

His Permanent Record Is Almost Full

Catholic nuns smirking and gloating over my permanent record. Damn bitches were plotting my demise and eternal damnation to hell.

The Grassy Knoll Institute can now confirm that Catholic nuns in the 1960's were cooking the books making Catholic kids appear more sinful than they really were. The nuns, A/K/A crafty demons from hell, realized that they would be out of business and obsolete if the children were well behaved and well mannered. Perhaps being reassigned to more private church activities such as decorating the church for Easter and Christmas seasons and cooking and serving the spaghetti dinners. Certainly a notch down from the power they wielded teaching the grade school children.

But the nuns had an ace in the hole. The Permanent Record. The permanent record was the ammunition and control for the nuns. By simply doctoring the books, adding a mortal sin and few venial sins to each child's record, all Catholics took a giant step towards damnation. Nobody questioned the Nun Mafia. If a nun called the parents of a child informing them that said child was behaving badly, there was no discussion between parents and child, it commenced right to the beatings. This was the type of power that nuns of the 1960's had.

This is one of the main reasons that I vowed to bring the nun mafia to their knee's. (A place they've never been before) One child's quest, against a formidable foe, a modern day David and Goliath. My battle lasted eight long years and some say the nuns won, but some notice that today, nuns are almost extinct and will soon be on the endangered species list. I leave that evidence as my testament that I had won the battle.

Take that bitches.

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Texas Roadhouse Restaurant

Texas Roadhouse Restaurant Of Gatlinburg, Tennessee

Located on the Parkway, the popular Texas Roadhouse Restaurant really packs em in. Upon arrival, you receive a beeper and when your table is ready, it begins to hum and red lights flash alerting you that your table is ready. (Expect at least a 45 minute wait on weekends.)The wait was very minimal, and we were seated at a nice table. Rolls to die for were delivered right away. They were hot, fresh, tasty, and served with a cinnamon butter.

A bucket of shelled peanuts was waiting for us on the table. You kind of just swept the peanut shells on the floor when you were finished.

I ordered the chicken strips with bacon and cheese fries and of course a Coke.

The entree was of biblical proportions. Six big pieces of chicken and a moutain of artery clogging cheese fries. The chicken was crunchy and spiced just right. The fries were heaped with bacon and cheese and were crunchy and hot.The service was very good and the order right. The rolls were fresh and hot with cinnamon butter. I have to say that the rolls were the best I ever had at a restaurant.

The cost was just under $20.00 without tip. The Grassy Knoll Institute recommends the Texas Roadhouse and awards 4 out of 5 shots.

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NFL Network Conspiracy

Armstrong Cable Blacks Out NFL Network

Last Thanksgiving evening thousands of NFL fans were treated to a blacked out Bronco's - Chiefs game. As ravenous turkey laden fans settled down in front of their TV's, they were rudely alerted and told that the game could not be televised tonight due to an outrageous fee that the NFL wanted to charge the cable company. Armstrong cable, our local cable company, ran this scrolling message across the television screen.

Armstrong is not able to air tonight's game because the NFL has not granted us the right to do so. The NFL has demanded an outrageous amount for Armstrong to show eight out of market games. Your local team's games will be available on other channels. For more information, please call 1-877-277-5711

The Grassy Knoll Institute has been watching the NFL network all year on Armstrong cable and we have watched all the commercials touting Thursday night NFL football beginning Thanksgiving evening. However, we did not see a single commercial, or alert, or note on our cable bill stating that Armstrong cable was not going to pay the required fee to the NFL to carry the games on NFL network. Armstrong cable had 11 months to notify it's loyal paying customers. Instead, Armstrong chose to alert us at 8pm Thanksgiving night, just minutes before the game was to air.

The Grassy Knoll Institute believes that Armstrong cable deliberately waited to make the announcement so as to eliminate defection from avid NFL sports fans who were anticipating the extra game on Thanksgiving plus a Thursday game to the end of the season. If these fans were told months before when the deal was shown to Armstrong and rejected, perhaps they would have had time to seek alternate services to receive the games. DirecTV and Dish Network carried the game and they are direct competitors to cable television. Now do you see the conspiracy?

Armstrong cable made a grave error in customer service on Thanksgiving. They had the ability to notify their customers but elected not to. This course of action gives cable companies even more of a bad reputation concerning customer service.

This type of power play is happening more often as ESPN flexed it's network muscles by putting popular college football games on it's least popular channel, ESPNU network. This is forcing cable companies to either add the new ESPN channel to it's lineup or risk the wrath of loyal cable customers.

Nobody wins except the networks.

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