Showing posts with label aliens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aliens. Show all posts


Patient Zero Thought Screen Helmet Alien Abduction

It is a well established fact that aliens from another galaxy has been visiting Earth for over two millennium  now. However, this is the first year that a government has finally acknowledged President Trumps newly appointed Secretary Of Space Exploration, Andrew Cornhusker has been tasked to document and record all abductions. Cornhuskers first act of business was to establish documented time lines of abductions and to find the earliest recorded abduction.

The first file showing promise for patient zero was the mysterious case of George Tookie from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The hospital report dated April 1st, 1955 had the following interview and account of the strange and bizarre behavior by Mr. Tookie.

Three men not wishing to be identified claim they witnessed the following acts over several days of visiting Tookie's farm.

Day One:
The three men drove up to Mr. Tookie's farm to ask for his assistance on planting several acres on their adjacent farmland. They found Mr. Tookie outside his house aimlessly walking in circles at the side of his barn. The men could hear him talking to himself. He seemed to be carrying on a conversation with several people at the same time. The men could make out bits and pieces of the conversation but do not understand the context. They heard Tookie say the word velestat, and helmet, 10 years of hiding, and thought screen. They did hear one complete sentence from Tookie, "As instructed, in the past ten years, I have never removed this thought screen helmet from my head and still I can hear them telling talking to me."

When Tookie noticed the men standing around him, he straightened up and stopped mumbling and told the men that he wasn't feeling well that day and to come back again tomorrow or the next. The men agreed and left.

Day Two: Several days later, the same three men returned to Tookie's farm to ask for the same assistance on their farm. This time, the men found Tookie repeatedly slamming his head crown first against the barn wall. All the while he was yelling, "No, I will never remove my helmet." The men looked around and found no other people there and assumed Tookie had gone mad.

Seeing how hard Tookie was throwing himself against the barn wall, the men restrained him and attempted to calm him down. He would not listen to reason, almost as if someone, or something was controlling him from a stealthy vantage point.

Finally, to avoid Tookie doing any more harm to himself, the men forced him into their car and drove him to the local hospital.

They explained the situation to the attending doctor and the doctor admitted Tookie to a private room. He was sedated and begrudgingly fell asleep still ranting and raving about not controlling him and never removing his helmet.

With Tookie  sedated, the doctor examined him more closely. He found that the hat he was wearing appeared to be glued to his scalp and was so tight it was cutting off the circulation to his brain. The doctor deduced that Tookie's delusions were the cause of the hat being to tight.

While still under heavy sedation, the doctor removed the hat carefully having to cut Tookie's hair in the process and using solvents to lesson the grip on the hat on his skin.

Thirty minutes later, the hat was removed and the doctor found it to be in good condition less one tiny pin hole crack in the black lining.

The doctor hooked  an IV into Tookie's arm and informed the nurse on duty to check in on him every several hours and to administer the sedative to keep him asleep until morning. The nurse confirmed her orders and the doctor went on to his other duties.

Early in the morning, the nurse on her final rounds of her shift checked in on Mr. Tookie. The bed was empty. Tookie was gone.

The police were called and a hunt for George Tookie began. The first places they searched for him was his farm, the stores and businesses he frequented, and then the people he associated with. He was never found to this day.

Perhaps that tiny tear in Mr. Tookie's hat (Thought Screen Helmet) allowed the evil race of telepathic aliens to gain a little control. But Tookie fought it, did not listen to the aliens telepathic suggestions. Tookie may have paid for his life not adhering to the aliens commands.



Thought Screen Helmet Haiku

I Know What You are Thinking
A Thought Screen Helmet Haiku by the Grassy Knoll Institute:

What am I thinking,
Time to don thought screen helmet,
Evil aliens.



Angels Versus Aliens

The bible is perhaps one of the best collections of conspiracy theories humankind will ever know. (Or perhaps humankind cannot yet understand the contents in it's entirety) It is filled with stories of men living to be hundreds of years old. Races of giants intermingling with humans. Angels visiting men secretly in the night. A man being swallowed by a whale and living to tell about it. Gods and angels in fiery chariots descending from the heavens. Devils and demons destroying and possessing people. A flood so great it covered the earth for 40 days. Numerous plagues bestowed upon man. Life reanimation. The instantaneous healing of diseases. Plus stories of miracles that only gods can perform. And it all started ions ago with man gazing into the heavens, looking at the lights in the sky. And wondering.

The same lights we look at today. However, humankind, as a collective, believe we have a better perspective than primitive humans. We put a different spin on events occurring today. Instead of Angels, we see Aliens. The fact is, Divine intervention and Aliens are not a modern day fad, but intricately woven into our society from the dawn of communication continuing to present day.

Writings of visitations are well documented in the Old Testament, handed down from generation to generation. To the ancient man, these appearances could only be comprehended as Angel visitations. In ancient times, there were angels, fiery flying chariots, and burning bushes. Compared to today's visitations, the encounters are all to similar. In modern time, we refer to them as Aliens, spacecraft, (UFOs) and telepathic communication.

What do we make from all of this? Is there truth to any of this? The bible speaks of many stories of god and angel intervention from a  group of people do diverse, it expands the entire known world at the time. Today, no one can deny the thousands upon thousands of UFO sightings reported yearly from around the globe. These reports are not from a small group of people but from a group so diverse it encompasses all walks of life, all nationalities, and all religions.

In ancient times, many of the people who were visited by angels, demons, and gods, were ridiculed, shunned, and not believed, for they had no real evidence, just a story. The same goes for the modern world. The people who claim to have been visited by aliens, or have seen alien space craft, are ridiculed, thought mentally unstable, or just making up an elaborate hoax to gain their 15 minutes of fame. To date, these people have not produced any real concrete evidence of their tales.

Perhaps that is by design. I always ask the same question when reading or viewing alien encounters. In today's society, with everyone having cell phones, why has not one of these alien events been recorded. Just one photo. In focus. We have a million photo's of celebrities and politicians in compromising situations, why can't we capture a good clear in focus picture or video of an alien encounter.

Perhaps, just perhaps, Angels are Aliens, and fiery flying chariots are spacecraft, and burning bush encounters are telepathic communication.

Keep gazing into the heavens for answers. It may just be by design.



Alien Abductees Living In Giant Dollhouse

Giant Aliens Holding Human Couple Hostage
Giant Aliens Holding Human Couple Hostage
Case Solved: From the Boardman Police Cold Case files
The mysterious disappearance involving Marge and Henry Adams sheds new light.
Marge and Henry Adams were last seen March 15th, 1954 on the way to the local market. Several neighbors remember waving to them as they drove down the neighborhood street. Their car was found abandoned about 2 miles from their home in a vacant lot.

An intense search was conducted at their home in hopes of finding a lead or clue to their whereabouts. Police found no letter or ransom note. It appeared that no foul play befell them as the doors and windows were locked and the house was in good order.

Marge and Henry Adams were never found. After several weeks of running down leads and shaking bushes, the Boardman police department halted the investigation and declared the Adams missing and the case went cold.


One daring Grassy Knoll operative covertly stowed away onto a giant alien craft during one of its routine landings to leave map markers for the invading fleet to follow. (Most people believe these to be crop circles.) The Grassy knoll operative quickly downloaded important intel from the mass of archived files from the giant aliens database.

Upon reviewing the data, one particular abductees file came to light. It was the file on Marge and Henry Adams. They were taken back in 54 to study the habits of humans and to learn their weaknesses. The internal file reads that the aliens caged the Adams family in a horrific giant-sized doll house and observed them night and day. They were fed and offered clothing to keep them alive and warm. They were permitted to exercise outside their home in a fenced in area four hours every week. The only entertainment permitted was a radio that picked up broadcasts from the Earth.

The Adams lived 21 more years in captivity and interrogated daily about the American way of life but not once did they offer any valuable intel. Alas, the file states that the Adams were eliminated (Murdered) after a failed escape attempt.

Case closed.



NFL Lockout Attributed To Alien Influence

NFL Labor Dispute Ego - Or Thought Screen Helmet
Grassy Knoll Institute operative declare Thought Screen Helmet aliens have infiltrated the NFL and caused the lockout.

As the NFL lockout stretches into the middle of July evidence it is evident that thought screen aliens have influenced both the players association and the owners for their own ulterior motives.

With no training camp, preseason games, or regular season games in 2011, football fans will look for alternative activities to fill their daily lives. Thought screen aliens believe the NFL football fan will be more easily manipulated with plenty of idle time and will telepathically push them toward other interests that the aliens need to conquer humankind.

God, please don't let the aliens be NASCAR fans.



WikiLeaks Hacked By Giant Aliens

Wiki Leaks Snowden
Wiki Leaks Snowden
In a reversal of roles, Wiki-Leaks, the nefarious non-profit website publisher of classified media from governments around the world, has been hacked. An elite team of giant aliens infiltrated Wiki-Leaks files during a routine server reboot. Terabytes of valuable information was downloaded concerning strategy and assessment of the enemy which will certainly damage the war effort against the giant aliens poised to take over the world.

One data disk was left behind by the aliens with an encrypted file

After decoding the file, it merely read....

Processing... processing... processing... and a single link was present named Fresh Hell.



The Future Is Behind Us

Roswell Crash Aliens Were Humans From The Future
Roswell Crash Aliens Were Humans From The Future
The CIA Reluctantly Releases Top Secret Document Of The 1947 Roswell, New Mexico UFO Crash

The document included a photograph (See Photo Above) along with top-secret Washington, D.C. files from the United States Air Force. The document specifically mentioned Roswell, new Mexico and the crash of an unidentified flying object in 1947. The photo and document were time stamped June 30th, 1950.

After 61 years, the transcript of the conversation of the four men and the alleged space man has come to print. In essence, the space man is not an alien, but a human from the future. He claimed he was returning to Washington when upon re-entry into the space-time continuum, his ship malfunctioned and crashed almost 2000 miles off course in a remote area in New Mexico. Roswell became the UFO capital of the world shortly after.

Major Tom White, (Spaceman) returned to Earth with a message to hopefully change the future. Major White attempted to warn the White House in 1951 of the future Kennedy assassination in 1963 in Dealey Plaza, Dallas, Texas, November 22nd, 1963. It appears the four CIA agents didn't take Major Tom seriously.

Major Tom made one more effort to broadcast his warning and relayed the message in code to a columnist, Jeanne Dixon. The psychic. Dixon managed to secure an audience with an aid of President Kennedy but alas, the message was not delivered in time to prevent the assassination.



Nixon Covertly Meets With Extraterrestrial

Nixon Covertly Meets Extraterrtrials
As history depicts, Kennedy was gunned down in Dallas, Texas, November 22nd, 1963 in Dealey Plaza. Lee Harvey Oswald was the only suspect and was taken in to custody. Shortly thereafter, Jack Ruby silenced Oswald putting an end to any stream of information. The Warren commission took over and convoluted the facts of the assassination planting the seeds of a conspiracy that has lasted almost 50 years. That is the official record.
For decades the Grassy Knoll Institute has claimed that Richard Nixon was the mastermind behind the plot to assassinate President John F. Kennedy and used Oswald as a Patsy to take the fall. Before today, it was merely speculation, but the Grassy Knoll Institute investigators finally caught a break.
While researching the Richard Nixon Presidential Library, an old black and white photograph was found between the pages of the novel, Camelot. Scribbled on the back of the photograph was a date and place, (October 31st, 1963, Yorba Linda) and an informal agreement between Nixon and the extraterrestrial pictured.
*Yorba Linda is Nixon's home town.
*The meeting took place a mere three weeks before the assassination.
*No one could really explain the trajectory of the supposed "Magic bullet."
*Strip Clubs became an almost overnight sensation as many opened just weeks after the assassination.
*The photo was between the pages of Camelot, the term coined by the press of Kennedy's presidency.
* Nixon had the resources and contacts to place men and convolute facts.



Eliminate Alien Anal Probes With A Thought Screen Helmet

Eliminate Those Pesky Alien Anal Probes With A Thought Screen Helmet
From the makers of the Thought Screen Helmet suit comes a revolutionary product designed to eliminate telepathic aliens from conducting anal probes. The Grassy Knoll Institute proudly presents, The Thought Screen Helmet Anal-Eliminator. Once inserted you will feel safe and secure in the knowledge that no aliens will ever probe you again.

The A.E. (Anal-Eliminator) was designed for abductee's on the go. No longer will you have to cower inside your home afraid of alien probes. As with all our products the A.E. is lined with velostat, that magical material that filters out any unwelcome telepathic connection between you and the aliens. The A.E. is encased handsomely in supple leather for your enjoyment and comfort. It will arrive at your door in an unmarked plain brown wrapper to protect your privacy.

Stop Alien Anal Probes Now! Order the A.E. Call 1-800-ANAL PRO. Operators are standing by now. Have your credit card ready.

But wait, if you order in the next 30 minutes you will receive as our gift to you absolutely free, (Just pay separate processing and handling) a Thought Screen Helmet for pets.



Charlie Sheen Defeats Thought Screen Aliens

Tiger Blood In My Veins
Actor Charlie Sheen, recently fired from his hit television show, Two And A Half Men, is set to reveal a bombshell concerning his recent behavior.

In tonight's episode of Sheen's Korner, Charlie reveals how he single-handedly defeated an evil race of aliens controlling people's minds through telepathy. Sheen recounts his terrifying ordeal which started several years ago driving home late from the set one evening.

That evening, Sheen had an uncontrollable urge to drive his car over the cliff but somehow managed to hang on and steer the car back onto the highway. As the weeks and months passed, Sheen became more and more distracted, almost as if someone was reading his very thoughts and manipulating him to behave in unusual ways. (Almost like a prenup)

Sheen began to show up in the news for his erratic behavior, and the media, like sharks smelling blood in the water, were circling waiting for Sheen to fall. But Sheen had other plans. After all, he was a Warlock. Using his magical warlock brain Sheen quickly came to the realization that an other worldly presence was in his head and no form of exorcism could cast the demons out. Other mere mortal men would have succumbed to the torture and treachery of the alien influence. But not Sheen. He was all about Winning!

Flash forward to the present day. Charlie Sheen reveals tonight that with his fire-breathing fists and the tiger blood coursing through his veins at high-speed and low drag, he confronted the aliens in a duel of brain power never before witnessed.

Sheen unloaded volley after volley of his torpedoes of truth leaving the aliens retreating. At the aliens moment of weakness, Sheen realized, through close contact and interaction with him and his magical warlock brain, the aliens were high on the most powerful drug known to the universe, The Charlie Sheen drug. Within minutes, the evil telepathic aliens, made a hasty retreat with Sheen claiming victory. #Winning!

Sheen has moved on focusing his energy on the trolls under the bridge sneaking out in the shroud of darkness to sling unheralded barbs at him. But as Sheen was overheard just the other day, "For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view."

For Sheen, it's all about the winning. Charlie, you may be 0-3 in the marriage department, but against evil aliens and trolls, you are batting 1000. #Winning!



Thought Screen Helmet Aliens Sinister Intent

Results Not Waering Thought Screen Helmet
The question of whether aliens exist is a moot point as millions of citizens have well documented sightings with miles of evidence of their visitations. However, until just today, the most puzzling question was; Why are aliens here on Earth? Why bother with humankind? What advantage would they have coming here?

The Grassy Knoll Institute can now reveal that answer. In a word, the aliens are looking for a little "Action." It takes hundreds of years for alien ships to travel from their home world to Earth. After many generations of breeding, the gene pool depleted, leaving the women incapable of bearing offspring. The only solution was to find a new fertile gene pool. Human females.

Through their telepathic abilities, the aliens are able to control humans. Once a female candidate is selected, the aliens proceed to seduce them in hopes of impregnating them. If a successful pregnancy occurs, the female is abducted so the fetus can be removed and implanted in an alien female host. This assures perpetuation of the alien species. The human female is then returned left wondering what had happened to her remembering only fragments of her abduction.

This is a warning to all the abductees' being taken and visited by aliens. To prevent unwanted pregnancy, you must continue to wear your properly constructed Thought Screen Helmet at all times. The helmet, lined with velostat offers telepathic canceling properties that prevents the aliens from linking to your mind. Think of it as wearing a condom on your head. No link, no control, no intercourse, no pregnancy.

For the men taken, perhaps this explains that pain in your ass when you are returned. Perhaps.....



My ABC Lost Theory Was Correct After All

I remember May 23rd, 2010, late evening, the waning moments of the six-year sojourn of what was the finale episode of ABC's Lost series flickering away. Christian Sheppard gathered the castaways in the church, their special place to find each other, and guided them into the light right before a tearful and joyous reunion of the castaways that mattered most to Jack. Damn it all to Hell, they were all in Purgatory. My Lost theory of Virtual reality with a dash of alien intervention was shattered. Or was it?

Just what was the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory…. For six years it was…..
Although it appeared the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 were on a tropical island, they were being deceived. There was no island. The survivors were in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways were interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments were performed on them. Who was running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

That evening I fired off my Lost Series Finale Theory, begrudgingly accepting that my theory was not only flawed, but down right incorrect. Until some months later when a new wrinkle of my Lost theory would come to light.

You see, although I recorded the series finale, I had put off viewing it until just last night. (Anger can do that sometimes) And there it was, the Holy Grail, my missing link, looking me square in the face. After watching the entire show from beginning to end from my DVR, the very last scene before the screen went dark made me ask this question.

Why did ABC Lost show the wreckage of flight 815 during the credits? With no survivors! Nor a single shred of evidence that there ever were any survivors. Just wreckage. No foot prints. No makeshift huts. No clothing. No tools. No bodies. No people. Nothing. (The network claims that these scenes were placed to decompress the audience from such an emotional roller coaster that was the finale before the local news came on.) (However, the Grassy Knoll Institute has an alternate explanation)

That is when it occurred to me that my virtual reality theory was correct after all. Wait for it readers... Perhaps these fleeting images signified that no one survived the plane crash and the entire series never happened. Or... The reason there are no bodies or any sign of survivors is because the castaways are still in the VR chamber.

You see, in reality, the castaways were never on the island, never got on flight 815, never crashed. Instead, they were secretly ushered into a VR lab where unspeakable experiments were performed on them. The castaways were put through the paces time and time again until a favorable outcome was achieved. Perhaps Jack and his crew finally got it right this time, Jack giving in to the island mystique, creating the end game, the church scene.

Remember the season five finale, when Jacob and the Man in black were talking on the beach. It was the VR experiment they were discussing. How no matter what they did, no matter what obstacles placed in the castaways path, the result was always the same. They were both waiting for a unique outcome, the church scene.
MIB: You’re still trying to prove me wrong.
Jacob: You are wrong!
MIB: They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
Jacob: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it’s just progress.

If you can remember, I stated that the VR experiment would reset itself after an unfavorable outcome. Hence, Miles, Ben, and Desmond, remembered fragments of past scenario's giving them the ability to predict the future. This also easily explains the time travel scenario of the castaways on the island living in the 50's, 70's, and present time. These were merely new variables and parameters of the experiment.

In essence my dear readers, the Lost castaways did not crash, did not get on the plane, did not die, nor went to heaven. Instead, they were reset to begin yet another battery of tests. Perhaps we will get lucky enough to see these new tests come to light, in say, a 2011-2012 Lost movie or mini series expanding on what happened right after the church scene in the finale.

I feel better now....



Giant Alien Woman Wanders Onto Military Airfield

Giant Alien Female Invades Air Strip
Giant Alien Female Invades Air Strip
Giant Alien sighting today in the biggest little city in the World, Reno, Nevada. A day before the Reno National Championship Air Races a giant alien female wandered onto the air strip and began to inspect several of the aircraft.

The Grassy Knoll Institute believes the female alien was taking inventory during a recon mission to size up the firepower of the area. An imminent attack is quite possible as the aliens attempt to pinpoint the location of the very secretive military base, Area 51.



Giant Alien Women Administers Blow Jobs

Giant Alien Cheerleader Blowjobs
Giant Alien Cheerleader Blowjobs
Sexy giant alien women giving Blow Jobs to the male population of Earth adding a new wrinkle in their arsenal to take over the world and enslave humankind.

In the past week, Grassy Knoll Institute operatives have observed three giant alien females dressed in "Classic" high school cheerleader costumes soliciting human males with fellatio.



Giant Alien Tongue Licking

Giant Alien Woman Slipping The Tongue To  Lucky Guy
Giant Alien Woman Slipping The Tongue To  Lucky Guy
In an attempt to break the resistance of the male population, sexy Giant Alien women have got their freak on. In the past several weeks, these sexy women approach enlisted men in the war against giant aliens and French kiss them to sway their fortitude.

Unfortunately, this new tactic is working extremely well as many a good men have already succumbed to this sensual interrogation.

In brighter news, enlistment has tripled in the fight against giant aliens.



Wolrd Cup Soccer Infiltrated By Giant Aliens

Tragedy struck today at the World Cup of soccer as a Giant Alien burst onto the playing field during a match between England and the United States. Alas, this was the first year the American team actually had a shot of advancing.
More news as it develops.


Lost Update: This Is The End?

ABC Lost Theory
ABC Lost Theory

Lost Update - Season Six - 05/18/2010


Tonight is the last update before the two and a half hour series finale airing Sunday night May 23rd. Before we delve into this last Lost update, I need to address several key elements of the entire Lost phenomenon spanning the past six years.

ABC Lost was the first television program to incorporate and utilize the World Wide Web to advertise and entice millions of viewers. The interaction between the online world and Lost was a huge success. Just type in Lost secrets in your web browser and look at the results. Million upon millions of web pages dedicated to the series.

And those tricky bastards at ABC actually created fake websites strictly to preach their propaganda to entice viewers to dig deeper into the Lost mystique. Everyone remembers the Oceanic Airlines site with clues hidden behind the passenger tickets. And the Hanso corporation help wanted web page. And the golden retriever obedience school plus many more blogs and websites created to distract and bewilder the viewer. After six years, the writers objective has been achieved. The finale airs in a few days and still millions of viewers are virtually in the dark.

Secondly, We do know several finite things about Lost for sure. Ben Linus always lies. It's a constant. Keep that in mind as you watch the finale Sunday night. And of course, Juliet has an amazing rack. That's it folks. That is all we really know for sure. Everything else up to this point is pure speculation and theory. No more, no less.

When I wrote my first Lost update six years ago, I used music lyrics as my constant. (Leaving On A Jet Plane by Peter, Paul, and Mary was my first title) Lyrics would be used to relate my update and theory to each said episode. I felt it would be my niche, my unique twist to separate me from other Lost blogs. As the season progressed, finding out how easy it was to attach music to the plot of the Lost series, I stumbled upon the revelation that music played a very important role in the telling of the Lost story. In a very subtle way.

This leads us to tonight's update, title and lyrics. After you read them, you will not be able to deny that the lyrics are not connected to Lost.

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door...and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother...I want to...fuck you

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

The above lyrics were penned by Jim Morrison, the legendary rocker and lead man of the Doors. His life and death was shrouded in mystery and conspiracy theories are still circulating today concerning his demise. I chose This Is The End not just because of its title, but because of its significance to Lost and the castaways.

Before I explain my theory for the last time, I want you to be patient and go back to the top of this page and slowly re-read the lyrics again. Twice more if need be. When reading them, think back on the series pilot, and the sojourn each individual began that fateful day. You will notice intertwined in the lyrics lost loves, lost lives, lost souls, lost opportunities. You will also notice the reference to the Roman empire, the blue bus Hurley drove, the magical waterfall, the crazy mother, Jacob, MIB and his rage, the Smoke monster, and all the unexplained almost psychedelic trip the castaways have been on.

Onward To the Lost Update:

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I am only going to tell you one more time...
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

The Lost pilot opened with a close up of an eye, Jack Shepherds eye, lying in a field in the jungle. Tonight's episode opened the same way. A close up of Jacks eye, only this time, he was on the mainland, in his own bed. Throughout the six-year series, the eye closeup signaled a course correction, or perhaps a change in direction, either from the plot, or the character himself/herself. Everything is coming full circle.

When we first met Jack, he was analytical, did not believe he was brought to the island for a purpose. He did everything in his power to get himself and everyone else off the island. Tonight, he steps up, accepts the candidacy from Jacob as protector of the island. A complete 180 of who he was at the beginning. Jack was given a choice, to accept the job, or to refrain. Something that Jacob wasn't afforded.

This my friends, and enemies, is the crux of my Lost theory, and the series itself. It comes down to choice. When confronted with a scenario with an infinite amount of outcomes, what choice will each candidate select? Remember what my theory is all about. Subjects, (Humans) under the guise of virtual reality, placed in formidable scenario's with select variables to sway the outcome, and then study the results to determine the best case scenario for mankind.

Tonight, Jack made everyone happy when he accepted the challenge of the protector of the island. Hurley didn't want it, Sawyer was pissed for even being there, let alone voluntarily staying for infinity to protect the island, and Kate, well, she was happy not to be considered. He even made Smoky happy because now he has the opportunity or do what he always wanted. To blow up the island and finally get off it.

In a nut shell. For Jack, his entire Lost journey, all his pitfalls, all the heartache, the fear, the pain, even the love, molded and guided him to that very moment when he accepted the candidacy. All his actions, or lack there of, were recorded and studied. Perhaps he performed the same scenario countless times until the exact correct conditions were achieved for him to succeed. As Jacob MIB discussed in the season five finale,
Unknown Man: You’re still trying to prove me wrong.
Jacob: You are wrong!
Unknown Man: They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
Jacob: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it’s just progress.

Tonight, it ends. Jack finally got around to accepting by choice, his own fate.

To be clear, Lost was not all about Jack. Every castaway, every candidate was given a choice in their very own personal scenario. Each castaway was put through the same scenario's, tests, experiments. Multiple variables were set to hopefully achieve favorable results.

Even Desmond, who I believe became aware of the virtual reality loop he and everyone was reliving, attempted to correct events to a favorable outcome. However, his intentions were driven by personal gains, needs. He wanted Penny. The love of his life. Ask yourself if Desmond would have done all those things without the proper motivation.

The same goes for Sawyer. Time and time again, his scenario always ended badly. Hurley, he didn't want the job, he was glad he wasn't chosen. All the other candidates in very similar situations. All with less than favorable results.

Up until Jack accepted, all results were sub-par. There was always an ulterior motive. Until Jack. He felt he was destined to be the protector.

Tidbits From Tonight's Episode:

* Eye opening, change of scenario, course correction. This time for Jack.
* Desmond calls Jack, lies saying he is with Oceanic airlines and tells him they found his father.
* Kate says, we have to kill Locke. Jack says, I know.
* Desmond on the side flash beats Ben Linus. As he's doing so, Ben sees a flash and realizes that he knows Desmond.
* As Richard, Miles, and Ben are in the old cabin where Ben used to live, he tells them of the secret room behind the book-case. He says it's where he used to go to summon the monster. Until he realized that it was the monster who was summoning him.
* Desmond turns himself in to interact with Kate and Sayid.
* Hugo sees young Jacob, he grabs the ashes and runs. He later meets up with adult Jacob. Jacob tells him we're close to the end now.
* Smoky attacks Richard.
* Ben awaits his fate with Smoky, sits on his porch. Smoky asks where Widmore is hiding and that he wants Ben to kill a few people for him. Ben says sure.
* In the side flash, it would appear that Ben is getting what he wanted on the island. Happiness.
* Smoky kills Zoe. Smoky then asks why Widmore came back. (To stop Smoky from leaving)
* Ben shoots and kills Widmore.
* Ben asks who else Smoky wants him to kill.
* Jacob talks to Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sawyer, explains that one of them will be the protector of the island.
* Widmore dies by the hand of Ben Linus.
* Zoe dies by the hand of Smoky.
* Locke visits Jack, tells him of the strange events occurring in the alternate reality, and says he is finally ready to be fixed.
* Jacob states he made a mistake, made Smoky the way he is. And ever since, Smoky has been trying to kill him.
* Jacob states all the castaways were flawed, all alone, broken. That's why he brought them to the island.
* Jacob infers that he wants the candidates to kill Smoky.
* Jacob blesses water in a stream, makes Jack drink it, tells him now you're like me.
* Desmond makes Sayid and Kate promise him to do something for their freedom. Sort of like Jacob's visits to the mainland.
* Ana Lucia returns, takes bribe money, it's not her time yet.
* Desmond was the fail-safe. The ace in the hole. The second candidate if Jack didn't step up to the plate.

Sunday night is the series finale. I cannot believe it. I've been updating this blog for six years and there's only one more left. Come Sunday night, my update may be very short, as in, Scenario A, Hell yea, I was right, it is a virtual reality laboratory. Or, Scenario B, Hell no, I was completely dead wrong. They're all stuck in a snow globe. Or worse, Scenario C, unanswered questions that leave an avenue for a Lost movie coming to a theater near year you in 2011. Let's hope it's either A or B. I only want one more update. Until Sunday, Get Lost.



Lost Update: Mother

Lost Update - Season Six - 05/11/2010

Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they'll like this song?
Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooh ah, Mother, should I build the wall?

Mother, should I run for president?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Ooh ah, Is it just a waste of time.

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true,
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you,
Mama's gonna keep you right here, under her wing.
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing,
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,
Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall.

Mother, do you think she's good enough, for me?
Mother, do you think she's dangerous, to me?
Mother, will she tear your little boy apart?
Ooh ah, Mother, will she break my heart?

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry.
Mama's going to check out all your girlfriends for you,
Mama won't let anyone dirty get through,
Mama's gonna wait up until you get in.
Mama will always find out where you've been,
Mama's gonna keep baby healthy and clean.
Oooh babe, Oooh babe, Oooh babe,
You'll always be baby to me.

Mother, did it need to be so high?

Pink Floyd's song Mother, is tonight's Lost Update Title. How very odd that just today in my office I was listening to this very song and to my amazement, tonight's episode fits this song and my Lost theory just like another brick in the wall.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I’ve been waiting six years to tell you…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

As promised, ABC Lost delivered tonight's episode with no regular cast members on film. Only Jacob and the Man In Black were familiar characters. We were all witness to not only the birth of Jacob and MIB, but to the island mystique and to the successor process of the island protector.

A story has to begin somewhere, even Lost. It didn't start with a horrific plane crash on a deserted island. It started almost 2000 years ago. With a very pregnant Claudia washing up onshore. She struggles to a fresh water stream where "Conch Cone" woman, (Did you see the conch shells in here hair) helps Claudia give birth to twin boys, Jacob and MIB. Claudia only had one name picked out, Jacob. Jacob wrapped in white cloth, and MIB wrapped in black. Conch woman kills Claudia and assumes the role of mother and protector to Jacob and MIB. (Perhaps significant, only two children born on the island, until Aaron.)

Tonight's episode continues with the mythology of the island, it's secret powers, who the "Others" are, who Jacob and MIB are, how the Smoke Monster came to be, Who Adam and Eve are, what the wheel at the bottom of the well is for, the significance of the wine bottle and the cork, dead people coming to people in wide awake dreams, and everything that happened to our current castaways some 2000 years later. And most importantly, how it always ends. As MIB stated in the season five finale, "They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same."

The cycle repeats itself. As if an experiment is being conducted over and over and over again. Hoping for a different outcome, a new set of results. A redeeming quality that may spare the lives of the human race. Using countless thousands of test subjects, from all walks of life, put into bizarre circumstances, using a disaster such as a plane crash as a catalyst to bring humanity together, to work as one, toward a common goal. And when the experiment fails, the test subjects turn on one another, they are all replaced, with a fresh set to start once again. Or as Jacob replied to MIB, "It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it’s just progress."

Wait a dog gone minute mister Grassy Knoll Institute. Do you mean to tell me that the experiment has been going on for 2000 years? How in the world can that be possible?

Good question. To answer, we need to look at the Holy Bible, in particular to Genesis, to the creation of the universe, the Earth, and humankind. The bible states that God created everything in six days, and on the seventh day, he rested. But we as educated people, realize that the universe is billions of years old, and it took a lot longer than six days for God to create it. Or did it?

The first question you need to ask is, how long exactly is one day to God? Since God always was and always will be, time is irrelevant. Perhaps to God, a day is a billion years. And so it took 6 billion years to create the universe in humankind perspective.

To an alien, perhaps 2000 years is a mere few years time. Just by observing our own solar system and noticing that each planet has it's own length of time for day, some far longer than that on Earth, and some far shorter, months measured in years is in the realm of reality.

To sum up, for 2000 years, countless ships have run aground stranding the survivors on the Lost island. They became test subjects, unwilling participants in an elaborate experiment testing human nature and whether we, (Humanity) are worthy of survival. Candidates were selected and steered toward the path of righteousness. Roadblocks were put in their paths. However, as MIB stated, it always ended the same. Until perhaps this bunch of candidates on the Lost island at present. Does Desmond, Hurley, and Jack have it in them to overcome the roadblocks, or will Lost end with a new set of test subjects, crashing on the island resetting the experiment once again? We'll find out in a few weeks.

Tidbits From Tonight's Episode:

* Jacob and MIB were the first known candidates.
* Jacon and MIB are twins.
* You learn from your parents. Jacob and MIB learned that people were inherently bad, and not to be trusted.
* When Jacob was offered the cup of wine from the bottle and told to drink it, it reminded me of Jesus and the last supper.
* Claudia asked how did you get here. Answered, by accident, just like everyone else.
* MIB's mother comes to him in a dream, jacob cannot see her, tells MIB everything.
* Smoke monster is not MIB. Just took on his appearance.
* If the light goes out in the stream, it goes out everywhere.
* How does putting a wooden wheel in the light guarantee that you can go home.
* Speaking of home, MIB has been wanting to do that for a long time.
* Speaking of MIB staring out at the ocean, John Locke had the same habit. Just saying.
* I miss Juliet and her amazing rack.
* The light in the stream is the life, death, rebirth, and the source of all the power of the island.
* Adam and Eve is MIB and Conch Cone woman.

Sorry to get all medieval on religion and the bible on you there, but an explanation on the perception was necessary to support and explain tonight's episode. Only two more episodes left Lost fans. What do you think?

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.,,



Lost Update - A Matter Of Trust

Lost Update - Season Six - 05/04/2010
This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it
Whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk away a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make-believe until its only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust

I'm sure you're aware love
We've both had our share of
Believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

As Lost steam rolls to its finale May 23rd, the show reveals that it has always been about a matter of trust and faith. Just as Billy Joel's lyrics above say, It's always been a matter of trust. And tonight, the castaways must trust each other or die. And this my Lost friends, is exactly what I've been talking about for years. Tonight's episode supports my Lost theory. Trust me.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory…. I’ve been waiting six years to tell you…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Before we get into the crux of tonight's update, let's all take a moment of silence for the loss of Sayid, Lapedius, Sun and Jin. They didn't make it out of the sub. Sayid does a 180 and saves the castaways. Sun being pinned and Jin refusing to leave her. And when Lapedius saw the leak on the submarine door, it reminded me of the comedy movie, Airport, when the captain said, "I picked a hell of a day to quit drinking!" (There's your comedy relief to lighten the mood. Dry your eyes and lets press on through this update)

Fret not Lost fans. They didn't die. None of them died. Not really. Remember, its virtual reality, and each and every person is interconnected which explains the familiarity amongst them. Tonight was more than just about death, sorrow, sadness, it was also about trust. And convergence. Let's start with Jack.

Jack in the side flash, interacts with John Locke, saves his life, and wants to continue with another procedure to help him walk again. Locke while recovering, is in twilight sleep and Jack overhears him muttering, "Have to push the button, I wish you would have believed me!" All these things were happening on the island. Remember the hatch and pushing the button and when Locke was disappointed in Jack for not having faith in him and the island.

To top it off, Jack tells Locke, what ever happened, happened. And just as Locke was wheeling himself away, Jack says, "I wish you believed in me!" All happened on and off the island. Jack had similar interactions with other castaways in previous side ways flashes. In all of them, he and the castaways became aware of their double life. Coincidence that everyone was on the same plane, flight 815. Coincidence that they all interact in the side ways flash! I think not!

As I stated before, the castaways are living in a virtual reality laboratory unbeknownst to them. Being experimented on. Being tested. Forced without knowledge to act out many scenario's. Some in the past, present, and future. Some on the island, some on the mainland. The subconscious mind is creating a deJa Vu in an attempt to cope with the over lapping scenario's. Hence, the castaways are beginning to wake up, become aware, and like Desmond, attempting to master their domain.

Part Two: A brutal experiment involving Jin and Sun.
Love is a strong emotion. Jin and sun were put into a no win situation. Sun was pinned and the sub was taking on water. Jin was powerless to free her. Sun tells Jin to leave him, to save himself. Jin professes his love to Sun and vows that he will not leave her ever again. They kiss, cry, and embrace their destiny together, never to be apart again.

Jin was given the permission to leave from sun. She begged him to save himself.. His very life was hanging in the balance. Does he stay with Sun and drown or save himself. How many people could make that kind of choice? Perhaps that is why Jacob told MIB that he was going to continue the experiments until they got it right. Perhaps Jin and Sun played this scenario out hundreds of times. Perhaps they both made it safely out. Perhaps Jin left Sun. What is the right answer? We'll know May 23rd.

Tidbits From Tonight's Episode:

* Bernard in the sideways flash is pretty much the same as he is on the island.
* Sawyer returns to the cages.
* Why didn't Smoky take the lead in the charge on the heavily guarded submarine. Turn into Smoky and kill them all. Why did he hold back?
* Bernard tells Jack its weird that they were both on flight 815 along with John Locke.
* The castaways once again leave Claire behind when they board the sub. She looked pissed.
* Sayid still had an ounce of good left in him. Tells Jack about the Desmond situation and takes the bomb and saves everyone.
* Widmore tells Sawyer who is locked in the cage, "Trust me, it's for your own good." There's that word "Trust" again!
* Kate is shot. Is it lethal? I doubt it.
* Jack says to Locke, You're a candidate, but Locke declines. As if he knew in the alternate reality that he would not be worthy.
* Locke is responsible for his fathers vegetative condition. Just the opposite in the flash back, when Lockes father was the reason for him being confined to the wheelchair.
* When Jack frees the castaways from the cages, he says, He's with him, meaning the Smoke Monster.
* Finally, tonight's lyrics, read them again. What's your take on them?

Can you believe it. May 23rd is the Lost series finale. I hope to see everyone here in the next few short weeks celebrating what a fantastic program Lost has turned out to be. And you still have time, tell us all your Lost theory. There is still time. Trust me!



Thought Screen Helmet For Your Pets

Take Me To Your Litter
A Public Announcement To All Thought Screen Helmet Wearers:
Even though you wear your thought screen helmet religiously, it doesn't mean you are entirely safe from alien abduction and / or alien domination. As we all know, the evil aliens become quite angry when the telepathic link has been severed by wearing a properly constructed thought screen helmet lined with velostat. When they notice the interruption they immediately go to the source to investigate.

Upon inspection, the aliens will look for other means of control and your pets are the next logical step. Using their telepathic mind control, the aliens will infiltrate your pets thoughts. Once they have control over your cat or dog, while you are safely sleeping in your bed at night, they will command your pet to jump up on the bed and claw away at the helmet until it is removed. Once it's off and the wearer is now exposed to telepathic thought control, the aliens will pounce and assume control.

The Grassy Knoll Institution has the solution. Introducing Thought Screen Helmets for your pets.
Your move evil aliens. Your move.