Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts

4/01/2017

Big Bang Theory Series Finale Spoiler

big-bang-theory-series-finale

Everyone rejoice!!! The CBS comedy television hit series The Big Bang Theory has been renewed for another season as several cast members took a cut in pay to allow the series to stay under budget and stay on the air. Alas, all good things must come to an end and at this time next year, there will only be several episodes left before the series finale. And of course the Grassy Knoll Institute investigators got its hands on the script for the finale.

SPOILER ALERT!!! Stop reading now if you do not want to know the ending of the Big Bang Theory.


Sheldon And Amy:

The series finale opens with Sheldon and Amy in the year 2025. Sheldon is in a tuxedo and Amy in a beautiful wedding gown. They are in an empty air force hangar room with three other couples holding hands, several NASA personnel, and a Chaplin. Sheldon and Amy are getting married. The Chaplin is performing the ceremony in Klingon. KA, Plau!

As soon as the ceremony is completed, the  hangar door opens and a new generation space shuttle is shown ready for liftoff. The shuttle with fly them to the new orbiter that will take the space pioneers to their new home. Sheldon and Amy along with the other three couples are to be the first human candidates to colonize Mars. Sheldon blurts out, "I'm going to Mars! Take that Wolowitz!"

Sheldon and Amy along with the rest of the Mars colony board the shuttle, get strapped in and are awaiting liftoff. Sheldon of course is looking everywhere taking in the nuances of the mission. He hears in his earpiece the slow and steady countdown to liftoff. At thirty seconds to go he notices a light blinking on the pilots main board. Sheldon informs the pilot that there is a light blinking on the main board. The pilot responds, "Yes I know, its been on ever since we test piloted the ship. Its probably nothing." As the shuttle engines roar to life and the ship rises into the sky, over all the noise of the engenes you can hear Sheldon screaming, "Check the engine light!!!"

Penny And Leonard:

Penny and Leonard are still living at the apartment. Penny gets a call from her agent about a starring role in a new CBS comedy series. Penny will portray the part of a theoretical physicist at the local university. She is a genius in her field. Mark Harmon is her supervisor and has a crush on him.

In episode one, Penny comes home from a long hard day at work and hears a raucous coming from the before vacant apartment across the hall. Seconds later the apartment door bursts open and three men in their early twenties emerge. All three men spy Penny at once and introduce themselves to her. The men reveal to Penny that they are male strippers who just got hired at the Beef-Cake Factory at the local university.

Penny finds this all to familiar in a "Bizarro World" sort of way but accepts the job and cannot wait to tell Leonard. Leonard is thrilled for Penny and it will also give him more time to concentrate on a breakthrough experiment that will make him rich and famous.

Penny finds out during production of the first season of the show that she is pregnant. Leonard is thrilled stating that our babies are going to be brilliant and beautiful.

Meanwhile, Leonard, by dissecting several formula's from Sheldon's childhood writings, discovers a fuel based on water molecules that will power all forms of combustible engines. He takes his formula to the patent office. While waiting to be helped, Leonard is approached by several men in black suits. They ask Leonard to please come with them to have a private conversation. The men introduce themselves as attorneys from Exxon. They are prepared to offer Leonard one billion dollars for the rights to his patent. Leonard is unsure. He wants this formula to be for the world, to free the world of pollution. He then stops and says, "Awe, screw it, I'll take the money!"

Howard And Bernadette:

Howard wakes up from a terrible nightmare. He only remembers bits and pieces but his father was in the dream. For the next week he has the recurring nightmare. In his nightmare Howard is returning from space and gravity does not affect him anymore. He has to hold onto furniture to avoid floating away. He makes his way to the kitchen for something to eat. Just as he is about to take a bite of his sandwich, he hears a knock at the front door. He makes his way through the kitchen and the living room and makes it to the front door. He opens the door and his father is standing there. In a tuxedo. With a martini in his hand. Shaken not stirred. He says hello to his son in an English accent. Howard wakes up screaming.

Howard and Bernadette add to their family and now have three children, Halley, Lexel, and Herschel. All named after periodic comets.  Bernadette's tenacity and motivation allows her to quickly climb the corporate ladder and become CEO of the pharmaceutical company she works at. Dan (Dan was Bernadette's boss who hired Penny as a sales rep) and the rest of the employee's are scared to death of Bernadette. Bernadette has the top floor of the building vacated and has it renovated into one very large private office suite. With its very own private bathroom and latte machine.

Howard and Bernadette are watching television on the couch when Howard tells Bernie the nightmare he has been having. Seconds later they hear a knock at the front door. Howard clams up and tells Bernadette, "This is it, this is it, my fathers at the door. What do I do?" Bernadette looks annoyed at him and says, "Answer the door putz!"

Howard walks slowly to the door, grasps the handle and slowly turns the knob. The door bursts open and its Doc Brown from Back To The Future. Doc tells Howard that something has to be done about his kids. Doc needs Howard to come back to the future with him to show him what is in store. Bernadette tells Howard to pack snacks stating she knows how grouchy he gets when he's hungry. Seconds later, Howard snaps awake from another dream. 

Rajesh Koothrappali and Emily Sweeney:

Raj finally gets some karma mojo and finds the love of his life again. Raj happens upon Emily in the same cemetery he and her were at when they originally broke up. Raj asked her why she was walking alone in the cemetery and Emily stated matter of fact, "Its one of my favorite places to go and think. And those thoughts are mostly about you!" Emily smiles and Raj's heart melts. Raj excitedly says, "Me too, I come here all the time to think about you!" Raj and Emily embrace and passionately kiss.

Months later, Rajesh and Emily are married and move into a townhouse apartment with more room. Emily informs Raj that the one room at the end of the hall is her sanctuary room. And only she is allowed to enter. Emily reminds Raj what happened when they first started dating and Raj was snooping in her apartment and broke her bedroom night table. Raj smiles and nods and tells Emily, "Trust me Emily, I have learned my lesson. That is your own private room and I promise not to go in there." Emily smiles big at Raj, grabs his hand and leads him to their bedroom.

The years go by. Emily is at work and Raj is home alone wondering through the house. He admits to himself that Emily's secret sanctuary room is getting the better of him. He must know what is inside. His curiosity finally gets the better of him and he walks to the closed room and slowly opens the door. He finds a light switch on the wall and flicks it on. To his horror, he sees scattered on the floor and tables naked human body parts. Arms, legs, heads, torso's. His phone rings and it scares the wits out of him. Raj looks at the phone and its Emily. He slams the door closed and answers the phone.

Emily wants to know if he wants her to pickup BBQ take out for dinner that night. Raj is still reeling and mumbles yea, sure, that is fine. Emily chimes in, "I so love the tender meat and the BBQ flavoring. I can't wait to sink my teeth into it." Emily ends the phone conversation saying she will be home in less than an hour. Raj nods OK and realizes Emily cannot hear a nod and says, "Yes dear, see you in an hour." Emily says, "Maybe we can watch my favorite movie tonight, So I Married An Axe Murderer?" Raj lowly responds with a yes Emily, whatever you wish. Rajesh's mind is going a mile a minute. He really did marry an axe murderer. Why didn't he see all the obvious signs. Oh, he's doomed, doomed.

Emily arrives home with the BBQ dinner and smiles at Raj who is cowering in the corner of the house. Emily holds out her arms and walks towards Raj and says, "Come here, I'm so hungry I can eat you up!" Raj cowers back and yells, "Stay away from me." Emily sees the terror in his eyes and point blankly asks Raj if he went into her sanctuary room. Raj nods yes. Emily continues to move towards Raj her smile now turning a ghoulish grin. Emily is now within a foot of Rajesh. She looks him in the eye and says to him, "Rajesh, I have something to tell you. And its about the sanctuary room. This is hard for me to say because I love you so much but,... But,...APRIL FOOLS!!!"

Emily explains that she knew eventually that Raj would not be able to stay out of that room so one day she brought home lifelike mannequins from dermatology school and placed them randomly in the room. Emily could not believe Rajesh held out so long. Both embrace and kiss. Emily then says, "By the way, I found your subscription to Big Badonk-adonks years ago so I guess we are even."

Stuart Bloom:

 Stuart continues to work at his comic book store after an unknown source wires money every month to his bank account. This money allows Stuart to keep the doors open on the store and eek out a small existence. Years go by and the inevitable comes to pass. Stuart reads in the news that comic book legend Stan Lee passed away.

Sadly, Stuart, dressed in his only grey suit, closes the store to attend the funeral of Stan Lee. Thousands upon thousands of mourners are gathered at the service. Many of them are dressed in their favorite superhero costumes. At the end of the funeral service, as Stuart was walking away a man approached him and asked if he were Mr. Bloom, the proprietor of the comic book store. Stuart looks worried and replies yes to the question. The man retrieves an envelope from his suit pocket and hands it to Stuart telling him that Mr. Lee has been watching him for some time now. Stuart opens the envelope and inside is a cashiers check from Stan Lee for 5 million dollars and a note.

The note from Lee was one paragraph. It said:
Whatever life holds in store for you, never forget these words: With great power comes great responsibility. This is my gift, (It is) my curse to you. Who are you? You are Stuart Bloom, benefactor of the late Stan Lee. The truth is Stuart, you don't know the way you feel, except you know the kind of man you want to be. Its as if you have reached the unreachable, and you weren't ready for it. Now go find the woman of your dreams and love her forever. Stan.

As Stuart continues to walk from the funeral service, he absentmindedly bumps into a woman who is also clumsily walking. It is Sara Jean Underwood, Playboy model of the year and the sexiest nerdy girl in Hollywood. They both smile at each other and Sara strikes up a conversation with Stuart. She tells him the estate of Stan Lee requested her attendance at the funeral service and that I would meet the man of my dreams here. Sara smiles and looks into Stuarts eyes and says, "Isn't that just the weirdest coolest thing you ever heard."

Stuart and Sara are dating. Stuart is taking it slow....

Barry Kripke And Leslie Winkle:

Barry finally gets tenure and moved up the ladder of success ever since Sheldon left to prepare for his and Amy's Mars habitat. He gets more involved in artificial intelligence and creates a working prototype of a female android. The female android looks astonishing like Leslie Winkle who just happens to be Kripke's current girlfriend. The androids artificial intelligence quickly adapts and learns human traits. As human and android experiments go, Kripke and the android who he named Sara, hook up. Things are progressing smoothly with the real and the android Leslie (Sara) until Leslie walked in on Barry and the android. Leslie was pissed, stated to Barry, "I thought you were stopping with just the hand?" Kripke, locked in an embrace with the android Sara replied, "No, that was Wolowitz that stopped with just the hand. I'm all in."

Will Wheaton:

Will Wheaton is at yet another minor "Con" signing autographs to a very small audience. His cell phone rings. Its from director, producer, and screen writer J.J. Abrams. Abrams complimented Wheaton on his 13 appearances in the Serial Apeist series stating he liked what he saw.  Abrams tells Wheaton he wants to cast him in his new rebooted Star Trek series.  Abrams wants him to play Wesley Crusher, the time traveller, who comes to this time line to see what happened to the time line. Wheaton agrees on the spot and calls his agent immediately to beg his agent to get his Serial Apeist 14 contract voided.

Sheldon's Spot:

It was no coincidence that Sheldon, Leonard, Raj, and Even Howard, wound up at the apartment hashing out the days events, quantum and theoretical equations to solving the worlds mysteries. Hidden inside the frame of the couch was a sophisticated listening device recording every word of every conversation (Even the time when Penny and Leonard "did it" on Sheldon's spot) The device was planted the day Sheldon moved in. An evil race of aliens have been monitoring the device ever since. They were "This close" to understanding how normal humans interact with each other and with that understanding would help the aliens conquer the world.

Final Scene:

Penny and Leonard are on the couch watching television. They hear a knock at the door. Penny opens the door and Sir Paul McCartney is standing outside. Penny does not recognize him and asks if she can help him. Paul asks if her name is Penny. Penny takes a steps back and replies that it is. Paul smiles and replies, "I finally found you, I finally found Penny Lane. I've been searching so long for you." Penny steps back more and asks Leonard to come to the door. Penny asks Paul McCartney how did he know her middle name was Lane? Paul smiles and says, "Well, the cats out of the bag now isn't it. I'm your father Penny!" Penny interrupts Paul and tells him to "SHUT UP!" Paul introduces himself to Leonard who does know who McCartney is. Leonard tries to explain to Penny who Paul is. Leonard invites McCartney inside the apartment.

Penny states that it can't be true, her mother would have told her something that big. Paul reveals that years ago he and Susan (Penny's Mom) met at a Wings concert and fell in love. For one night only. The next day both went on their own separate long and winding roads. And now the journey finally found its way to your door. Penny still does not believe and calls her mother on the phone. Susan asks why Penny is asking and Penny reveals that McCartney is standing inside her apartment right now. Susan confirms to Penny that McCartney is indeed her father. She tells Penny that she didn't meet her husband until 6 months later. Both decided to raise Penny as their own. Penny hangs up the phone and looks at Paul and asks are there anymore surprises I don't know about?

Paul asks to sit down and continues, "Well, way back in 1964 there was a bit of a scandal concerning the Beatles, and out of that came a wild conspiracy theory that I was dead. That I died in a car accident. People took the lyrics from our songs and put new meanings to them to support claims that I was indeed dead and the Beatles were covering it up. Well, after all these years, may I introduce to you, the one and only William Shears Campbell." Both Penny and Leonard look dumbfounded. Leonard says, "Wait, now hold on, so you are not Paul McCartney?" William nods no. He tells Penny and Leonard that Paul did indeed die in an accident and the band management found me, a look-a-like and had plastic surgery done to my face. I assumed the role of McCartney for the next three years. Until John Lennon couldn't take it anymore and broke up the band."

Penny asks, "Anything else Paul, or William, or Billy, or Mac, or Buddy, you want to tell us?" William says just one more thing. You have a half brother that lives not so far from here. His name is Howard Wolowitz. As soon as I'm done visiting you I am going over to his house and knocking on his front door and introducing myself."

Penny looks petrified and moans, "Oh the horror!"

Fade to black, cue the music,
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state, 
Then nearly fourteen billions years ago expansion started, wait.....

For Debbie and her fantastic brisket




LURKING, WE CONTROL YOUR TV SET ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sasha and Rick Grimes Next To Die


Sasha Williams played by Sonequa Martin
Rick Grimes played by Andrew Lincoln

Two major characters from AMC's The Walking Dead series are acting on borrowed time.
First, let us look at Sonequa Martin. Ms. Martin will be starring as the lead character in the new Star Trek series Discovery. It is to debut in 2017. Sonequa is the major talent on this series, not unlike when she played Tamara on ABC's series Once Upon A Time. She played a minor role with only several recurring episodes. With Star Trek Discovery, she is the star.

Final Analysis: Sasha Williams will die attempting to end the life of mega villain Negan. Sasha will take down several key Negan followers but Negan will survive.

Second, Rick Grimes. Original cast member. Leader of the group. Literally the heart and soul of the epic series. Which means his time is due. The comic book canon had him dying in the first several episodes so his acting on screen is merely a mirage.

Rick has already given his goodbye speech to Michonne and everyone knows Carl will become the eventual leader of the rag tag survivors.

Final Analysis: Rick survives the season 7 finale airing this Sunday night but call him unemployed for season 8. Rick goes down swinging and takes Negan with him in an epic one on one battle set in a "Thunderdome" type setting. two men enter, both men die.


LURKING, WE CONTROL YOUR TV SET ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Liar Liar Pants On Fire


Washington - Capital Hill - April 1st, 2017:
This morning President Trump signed into law his new huge (Pronounced yuge) affordable health care act once and for all abolishing the former act known as Obama-Care. Trump stated the heath care system has been fixed and every American citizen will have insurance.

Pay no attention to Speaker of the house Paul Ryan (AKA The Harbinger Of Death) shaking hands as he walks out of the Washington DC Capital building with his pants on fire.


LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Patient Zero Thought Screen Helmet Alien Abduction


It is a well established fact that aliens from another galaxy has been visiting Earth for over two millennium  now. However, this is the first year that a government has finally acknowledged President Trumps newly appointed Secretary Of Space Exploration, Andrew Cornhusker has been tasked to document and record all abductions. Cornhuskers first act of business was to establish documented time lines of abductions and to find the earliest recorded abduction.

The first file showing promise for patient zero was the mysterious case of George Tookie from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The hospital report dated April 1st, 1955 had the following interview and account of the strange and bizarre behavior by Mr. Tookie.

Three men not wishing to be identified claim they witnessed the following acts over several days of visiting Tookie's farm.

Day One:
The three men drove up to Mr. Tookie's farm to ask for his assistance on planting several acres on their adjacent farmland. They found Mr. Tookie outside his house aimlessly walking in circles at the side of his barn. The men could hear him talking to himself. He seemed to be carrying on a conversation with several people at the same time. The men could make out bits and pieces of the conversation but do not understand the context. They heard Tookie say the word velestat, and helmet, 10 years of hiding, and thought screen. They did hear one complete sentence from Tookie, "As instructed, in the past ten years, I have never removed this thought screen helmet from my head and still I can hear them telling talking to me."

When Tookie noticed the men standing around him, he straightened up and stopped mumbling and told the men that he wasn't feeling well that day and to come back again tomorrow or the next. The men agreed and left.

Day Two: Several days later, the same three men returned to Tookie's farm to ask for the same assistance on their farm. This time, the men found Tookie repeatedly slamming his head crown first against the barn wall. All the while he was yelling, "No, I will never remove my helmet." The men looked around and found no other people there and assumed Tookie had gone mad.

Seeing how hard Tookie was throwing himself against the barn wall, the men restrained him and attempted to calm him down. He would not listen to reason, almost as if someone, or something was controlling him from a stealthy vantage point.

Finally, to avoid Tookie doing any more harm to himself, the men forced him into their car and drove him to the local hospital.

They explained the situation to the attending doctor and the doctor admitted Tookie to a private room. He was sedated and begrudgingly fell asleep still ranting and raving about not controlling him and never removing his helmet.

With Tookie  sedated, the doctor examined him more closely. He found that the hat he was wearing appeared to be glued to his scalp and was so tight it was cutting off the circulation to his brain. The doctor deduced that Tookie's delusions were the cause of the hat being to tight.

While still under heavy sedation, the doctor removed the hat carefully having to cut Tookie's hair in the process and using solvents to lesson the grip on the hat on his skin.

Thirty minutes later, the hat was removed and the doctor found it to be in good condition less one tiny pin hole crack in the black lining.

The doctor hooked  an IV into Tookie's arm and informed the nurse on duty to check in on him every several hours and to administer the sedative to keep him asleep until morning. The nurse confirmed her orders and the doctor went on to his other duties.

Early in the morning, the nurse on her final rounds of her shift checked in on Mr. Tookie. The bed was empty. Tookie was gone.

The police were called and a hunt for George Tookie began. The first places they searched for him was his farm, the stores and businesses he frequented, and then the people he associated with. He was never found to this day.

Perhaps that tiny tear in Mr. Tookie's hat (Thought Screen Helmet) allowed the evil race of telepathic aliens to gain a little control. But Tookie fought it, did not listen to the aliens telepathic suggestions. Tookie may have paid for his life not adhering to the aliens commands.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

How Old Is Shannon Tweed

Kiss rock star legend Gene Simmons sitting in the shade admiring the view thinking to himself, How old is Shannon Tweed again?


LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Curse Of Oak Island Treasure Recovered


Oak Island is a small island located off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada. legend has it that buried treasure lies beneath the sand someone on the island. Fortune hunters have been pursuing said treasure for over 200 years now.

Most recently the Lagina brothers Rick and Marty purchased the island and began actively searching for the treasure. The island myth and mystery is so great that the History channel had a four year long television series filming the search of the Lagina brothers. Speculation is far fetched, from the treasure being the Ark of the Covenant, to the Azteks gold, to English and French spoils of war gold and silver and insert any and all other treasures one seeks.  So far, nothing significant has been found. Until this weekend...

On Friday morning Marty Lagina was shallow digging at what they refer to as the 10-X site and uncovered a steel canister roughly eight feet deep in the soil. He immediately called his brother Rick so they could both open the box together. When Rick arrived, the box was unearthed and brought into the conference room on the island. A welders torch was needed to remove the braces holding the box together. it was air and water tight.

As both brothers slowly lifted the lid they spied another metal cylinder inside. Upon inspection, inside the cylinder appeared to be old 8 milimeter film reels. They immediately called best friend and partner Craig Tester to find a projector and bring it to the island pronto.

The projector was set up and an old white table cloth was used as the screen as Marty delicately loaded the first reel onto the projector. The film only lasted four total minutes but what the three men saw on the screen was shocking. It was not the location of the fabled money pit on the island, nor was it the proverbial "X" marks the spot where the treasure is buried but positive evidence of a 50 plus year conspiracy haunting the American public.

The film was shot in 1963, November 22nd, and it was filmed from behind the infamous grassy knoll. The film clearly shows two men in dark suits with rifles in their hands aiming towards the street. Seconds later a shot is fired and both men in the suits quickly disengage from the scene and walk toward the train yard only 50 feet away.

Attached to the canister casings was a note. It was a confession. The confession stated that these two men were hired to ensure if Oswald had missed that they would complete the assassination. They were hired by....

Richard Nixon.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/01/2016

Microsoft Introduces Windows 10 TV

Microsoft Windows Unveils Windows TV 10
San Francisco, California, April 1st, 2016
Microsoft Annual Build Developer Conference:
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella revealed this morning Windows 10 TV. Nadella stated that Microsoft will now compete head to head against the likes of Applie TV, Google TV, Amazon Fire, and Ruko streaming services.

Above is a pre-release photo of the vision of Microsofts new age television viewing experience.

It appears that the TV will also be dial up ready....


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Urban Legend My Ass

Thats A Lot Of Shoes
This morning in New York City during a routine patrol by the NYPD waterways commission, a giant alligator attacked a sightseeing ferry boat. The massive gator nearly capsized the boat as it suddenly breached and landed on the boat deck.

In other news, thousands of New Yorkers are now afraid to sit on their toliets in fear that the urban legend of alligators in their sewer drain are now real.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

2016 Presidential Election Odyssey

Monolith Appears Atop Trump Tower
As dawn broke this cool April morning a Monolith was discovered atop the Las Vegas Trump tower. Perhaps the Monolith will do for our future what it has done for our prehistoric past. To bestow upon the presidential candidates at least a rudimentary level of intelligence and an ability to communicate sensibly.

CUE THE MUSIC.....


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Small Explosion At Korean Peninsula


Small Explosion Reported In North Korea

At 6:05am EST a small explosion was heard and felt in the Korean Peninsula..

South Korean warships are underway to investigate.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Paris Hilton Is Pregnant


Paris-Hilton-Pregnant
Paris Hilton Pregnant
Paris Hilton Is Pregnant
Breaking news: Paris Hilton, unable to hide the news anymore, announced today that she is pregnant and will be getting married after several details are cleared up.

That's hot...


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/01/2010

Secret And Sexy Life Of Candice

As I was perusing my favorite blogs yesterday, I saw that The Life According To Candice blog was given a very spiffy template makeover. Upon reading her ABOUT CANDICE profile, (Candice is a very entertaining and funny woman, a nurse from the great state of Texas, blond, stacked, and happily married with two children) I noticed that her profile picture looked very familiar. I thought nothing of it until today when I started uploading my pictures from the National Halloween show I attended last month.

And there she was. Candice in all her glory. The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered the secret life of Candice, mother and professional nurse by day, Super sexy Halloween trade show model by night. If you like the picture on the left, you will love Candice's shots from her tropical island vacation resort. The nude beach scenes are particularly titillating. Read her blog to understand her outlook and unique take on life. I double dog dare you not to smile.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



UFO Lands In Youngstown Ohio


As the Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute was returning from a 3:00 am giant alien stakeout, he captured this shocking footage of an unidentified flying object, (UFO) quietly appearing out of the night sky slowly descending to street level and landing. The fully charged battery of the video camera drained after only 20 seconds of use and the video went dark. Seconds later, the UFO changed colors, began to spin rapidly, and ascended into the sky.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


4/01/2008

Iconic Hollywood Sign Changed


In recognition of the Grassy Knoll Institute coming to California, the city of Hollywood has erected our LOGO right below the famous Hollywood Hills sign.

The entire staff here at the Grassy Knoll Institute extends our gratitude and a hearty thank you to all of you helping us celebrate our feast day, (April Fools Day) with your visits and comments on our blog.

Thanks for playing!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Miss America Winner 2008

With all the scandal and bad press beauty pageants have received lately, the Miss America Beauty Pageant Association have invoked new guidelines and regulations that will be strictly enforced.

No longer will contestants be allowed to have breast augmentations, nose jobs, face lifts, tummy tucks, eye widening, ear lowering, leg shaping, ass shaping, and botex injections.

The committee feels that these young women should have natural appeal not enhanced with medical procedures.

We got a sneak peak of Gloria Swankton, who will be representing California in this years pageant.

Bert Parks just rolled over and puked in his grave.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sexy Body Paint Model


Is There A Doctor In The House!

No idea how this photo made into the April Fools Day Archives. Apparently Gumby isn't doing his goddam job.

Anyway, since the photo is posted, consider this a little tease preview of the 2008 National Halloween trade show Sexy Sirens in Las Vegas. Many photos to follow.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Nun Fun


As Mother Superior read a chilling excerpt from the Book Of Revelations, Sister Wylene and Winona prepared to commit one of the new and improved Vatican sanctioned mortal sins of fun.

After the dousing, the sisters beat it out of there leaving the reverend mother soaking wet screaming obscenities.

I am sure one way or the other, the bitching nuns will find a way to blame me for what happened.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Ghost Hunters Record Entity Proof


Ghost Hunters record empirical proof that supernatural entities exist.

Last Monday, March 24th, TAPS, (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) were invited to investigate an old brownstone home in New York. The house is at 278 West 113th Street in Harlem and was the house famous magician and escape artist Harry Houdini and his wife Bess purchased and lived in for many years.

The TAPS team of Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson set their camera's, thermal images devices, EVP's, EMP's, and digital recorders throughout the house. At 9pm, equipment was ready and it was lights out.

As the TAPS team swept through the house, every inch was recorded and detailed. With heightened anticipation, as that night was the birthday of Harry Houdini, the crew hoped to capture some evidence that Houdini's presence was still in the house.

Alas, no video was recorded, (No moving furniture, no strange bumps in the darks, no floating tambourine, no strange lights or orbs) but a small snippet of audio was recorded. As the TAPS crew usually do, they attempt to provoke the spirits to manifest themselves and show some sort of sign of their presence. It didn't appear to work that night.

Grant Wilson was in the drawing room of the home when he began to speak to Houdini asking him to show some sort of sign he was present but nothing registered on their instruments.

At 3am, the crew began packing up and went back to their office to analyze the data collected. After hours and hours of shadows and silence, Jason heard a startling sound recorded from the drawing room. It was a response that at first no one understood until further investigation into the history of Harry Houdini made the audio sounds become more clear.

The sounds heard were two words, "Rosabelle Believe!" At first, Jason and Grant felt that the words were merely random sounds that sometimes occur in paranormal investigations and dismissed as remnant paranormal activity.

Upon further review, Houdini was a staunch disbeliever in mediums and paranormal activity. In fact, the last several years of his life was spent debunking famous mediums as frauds and offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could produce empirical proof that life after death existed. No one ever collected the prize.

However, before Houdini died, he and his wife Bess made a pact that if it were possible, he would make contact with her and for verification, (To avoid fraud from other mediums trying to cash in) a secret message that only Harry and Bess knew would be sent and verified that only Bess would understand.

Those two words were Rosabelle Believe!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL




Michael Jackson In Disguise


Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to "Sleeping" with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Big Brother Is Watching

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don't pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. This Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O'Malleys tavern pounding a few....Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking


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