Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AFD. Show all posts

4/01/2016

Microsoft Introduces Windows 10 TV

Microsoft Windows Unveils Windows TV 10
San Francisco, California, April 1st, 2016
Microsoft Annual Build Developer Conference:
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella revealed this morning Windows 10 TV. Nadella stated that Microsoft will now compete head to head against the likes of Applie TV, Google TV, Amazon Fire, and Ruko streaming services.

Above is a pre-release photo of the vision of Microsofts new age television viewing experience.

It appears that the TV will also be dial up ready....


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Urban Legend My Ass

Thats A Lot Of Shoes
This morning in New York City during a routine patrol by the NYPD waterways commission, a giant alligator attacked a sightseeing ferry boat. The massive gator nearly capsized the boat as it suddenly breached and landed on the boat deck.

In other news, thousands of New Yorkers are now afraid to sit on their toliets in fear that the urban legend of alligators in their sewer drain are now real.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

2016 Presidential Election Odyssey

Monolith Appears Atop Trump Tower
As dawn broke this cool April morning a Monolith was discovered atop the Las Vegas Trump tower. Perhaps the Monolith will do for our future what it has done for our prehistoric past. To bestow upon the presidential candidates at least a rudimentary level of intelligence and an ability to communicate sensibly.

CUE THE MUSIC.....


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Small Explosion At Korean Peninsula


Small Explosion Reported In North Korea

At 6:05am EST a small explosion was heard and felt in the Korean Peninsula..

South Korean warships are underway to investigate.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Paris Hilton Is Pregnant


Paris-Hilton-Pregnant
Paris Hilton Pregnant
Paris Hilton Is Pregnant
Breaking news: Paris Hilton, unable to hide the news anymore, announced today that she is pregnant and will be getting married after several details are cleared up.

That's hot...


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/01/2010

Secret And Sexy Life Of Candice

As I was perusing my favorite blogs yesterday, I saw that The Life According To Candice blog was given a very spiffy template makeover. Upon reading her ABOUT CANDICE profile, (Candice is a very entertaining and funny woman, a nurse from the great state of Texas, blond, stacked, and happily married with two children) I noticed that her profile picture looked very familiar. I thought nothing of it until today when I started uploading my pictures from the National Halloween show I attended last month.

And there she was. Candice in all her glory. The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered the secret life of Candice, mother and professional nurse by day, Super sexy Halloween trade show model by night. If you like the picture on the left, you will love Candice's shots from her tropical island vacation resort. The nude beach scenes are particularly titillating. Read her blog to understand her outlook and unique take on life. I double dog dare you not to smile.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



UFO Lands In Youngstown Ohio


As the Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute was returning from a 3:00 am giant alien stakeout, he captured this shocking footage of an unidentified flying object, (UFO) quietly appearing out of the night sky slowly descending to street level and landing. The fully charged battery of the video camera drained after only 20 seconds of use and the video went dark. Seconds later, the UFO changed colors, began to spin rapidly, and ascended into the sky.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


4/01/2008

Iconic Hollywood Sign Changed


In recognition of the Grassy Knoll Institute coming to California, the city of Hollywood has erected our LOGO right below the famous Hollywood Hills sign.

The entire staff here at the Grassy Knoll Institute extends our gratitude and a hearty thank you to all of you helping us celebrate our feast day, (April Fools Day) with your visits and comments on our blog.

Thanks for playing!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Miss America Winner 2008

With all the scandal and bad press beauty pageants have received lately, the Miss America Beauty Pageant Association have invoked new guidelines and regulations that will be strictly enforced.

No longer will contestants be allowed to have breast augmentations, nose jobs, face lifts, tummy tucks, eye widening, ear lowering, leg shaping, ass shaping, and botex injections.

The committee feels that these young women should have natural appeal not enhanced with medical procedures.

We got a sneak peak of Gloria Swankton, who will be representing California in this years pageant.

Bert Parks just rolled over and puked in his grave.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sexy Body Paint Model


Is There A Doctor In The House!

No idea how this photo made into the April Fools Day Archives. Apparently Gumby isn't doing his goddam job.

Anyway, since the photo is posted, consider this a little tease preview of the 2008 National Halloween trade show Sexy Sirens in Las Vegas. Many photos to follow.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Nun Fun


As Mother Superior read a chilling excerpt from the Book Of Revelations, Sister Wylene and Winona prepared to commit one of the new and improved Vatican sanctioned mortal sins of fun.

After the dousing, the sisters beat it out of there leaving the reverend mother soaking wet screaming obscenities.

I am sure one way or the other, the bitching nuns will find a way to blame me for what happened.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Ghost Hunters Record Entity Proof


Ghost Hunters record empirical proof that supernatural entities exist.

Last Monday, March 24th, TAPS, (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) were invited to investigate an old brownstone home in New York. The house is at 278 West 113th Street in Harlem and was the house famous magician and escape artist Harry Houdini and his wife Bess purchased and lived in for many years.

The TAPS team of Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson set their camera's, thermal images devices, EVP's, EMP's, and digital recorders throughout the house. At 9pm, equipment was ready and it was lights out.

As the TAPS team swept through the house, every inch was recorded and detailed. With heightened anticipation, as that night was the birthday of Harry Houdini, the crew hoped to capture some evidence that Houdini's presence was still in the house.

Alas, no video was recorded, (No moving furniture, no strange bumps in the darks, no floating tambourine, no strange lights or orbs) but a small snippet of audio was recorded. As the TAPS crew usually do, they attempt to provoke the spirits to manifest themselves and show some sort of sign of their presence. It didn't appear to work that night.

Grant Wilson was in the drawing room of the home when he began to speak to Houdini asking him to show some sort of sign he was present but nothing registered on their instruments.

At 3am, the crew began packing up and went back to their office to analyze the data collected. After hours and hours of shadows and silence, Jason heard a startling sound recorded from the drawing room. It was a response that at first no one understood until further investigation into the history of Harry Houdini made the audio sounds become more clear.

The sounds heard were two words, "Rosabelle Believe!" At first, Jason and Grant felt that the words were merely random sounds that sometimes occur in paranormal investigations and dismissed as remnant paranormal activity.

Upon further review, Houdini was a staunch disbeliever in mediums and paranormal activity. In fact, the last several years of his life was spent debunking famous mediums as frauds and offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could produce empirical proof that life after death existed. No one ever collected the prize.

However, before Houdini died, he and his wife Bess made a pact that if it were possible, he would make contact with her and for verification, (To avoid fraud from other mediums trying to cash in) a secret message that only Harry and Bess knew would be sent and verified that only Bess would understand.

Those two words were Rosabelle Believe!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL




Michael Jackson In Disguise


Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to "Sleeping" with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Big Brother Is Watching

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don't pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. This Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O'Malleys tavern pounding a few....Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Woman Displays Her Bust


Bust On Display At Pensacola Florida Art Symposium

In a bold and daring move for the art world to see her "Talents," Graphic Design Artist extraordinaire The Latest Slub, proudly displayed her bust for all of Florida to see at the prestigious annual Art symposium.

I have to say it was the hit of the symposium.

PS: It looks just like your Halloween costume.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Burger Chef Is Still In Business


The Burger Chef fast food hamburger chain, defunct since the mid 1980's is making a come back.

Hardee's corporation, owner of the Burger Chef brand name relinguished the rights of the name in late 2006. When Hardee's bought all the Burger chef's, they immediately began converting them all to Hardee's fast food restaurants until no more burger Chef's were in business.

In January an entrepreneur constructed a replica of the Burger Chef restaurant and began serving the standard fare that was originally on the menu in the 1970's.

To kick off the grand opening, Burger Chef was offering the Super chef, which according to the Guinness book or world records, is the largest cheeseburger ever made.

Even more incredulous, Burger Chef has also rolled back prices to mid 1970's making this cheeseburger costing only 99 cents.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Nude Gymnast On Las Vegas BLVD


I was in Las Vegas last week for the Halloween Trade show hosted at the Sands Exposition convention. While on my way to work one morning, I snapped this photo of a naked gymnast doing her Olympic routine. I must admit, she was very good. she had a fabulous routine and stuck her dismount perfectly.

However, the French judge on the scene was not impressed and awarded her the bronze medal.

Goddamn French judges!!!



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Wordpress March 2008 Wrap-Up

Wordpress March 2008 Wrap up by none other than WP's own blog extraordinaire Keymaster Matt:

March came in like a lion and went out like a lamb. Winter is over and more than warmer weather is in store for Wordpress.

In the month of March on Wordpress:

25,245,329 blogs were created. (Thats up 85%)
2,432,478 new users joined. (Up 245% from last month)
11,920,593 file uploads. (A mind boggling statistic)
22,814,893 posts and 21,996,427 new pages. (And two cherry sno-cones)
544,961,330 comments. (With 50% of them stating, "Way cool blog dude.")
423,813,432 logins. (With 32% of them non-human log ins)
74,540,799,534 pageviews on WordPress.com, and another 1,304,499,648 on self-hosted blogs. (Thats a hell of a lot of taco's.)
1,726,789 active blogs in February, where “active” means they got a human visitor. (Trolls were counted as a half visitor slightly skewing results)

For more than two years now, Wordpress bloggers have been lighting up the WP forums pleading for more add-ons to be made available to them including scripts. Well, today is your lucky day WP'ers.

Wordpress has listened. Beginning tomorrow, WP will introduce several selected fully functional Chat Boards approved by the Keymasters of WP. A tagboard widgit will appear on your Tool Bar Manage page that you will need to customize and install.

But that's not all. WP management is excited to announce a new contest on the forums for the most wanted script widgit. The widgit with the most votes will be rewritten by WP tech heads and rolled out by the end of April for all to use.

WP management promises to roll out several more scripts and widgits by the end of 2008.

Until next months wrap-up.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Zombama And Hellary In 2008


Introducing Every Republican's Nightmare!

To combat the popular Republican party nominee John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have put their differences aside and teamed together as a united Democratic presidential nomination for 2008.

Upon accepting the nomination, Barack thanked his spiritual leader for the guidance, wisdom and contributions to his campaign as he moved forward in his determination to fix the problems of the country.

Hillary only had this to say about the nomination. There will be hell to pay. That's right, I'm a bitch, deal with it.

Brought to you by Morbid Industries, leading Halloween props and costumes company.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/31/2008

Colonel Sanders Alive And Well


This just in!

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and icon of the fast food restaurant, dead for over 20 years, was photographed today shaking George Clooney's hand during a red carpet Hollywood event.

Apparently Sanders faked his death and has been living large in the great state of Montana with Jim Morrison, Elvis, and D.B. Cooper.

Rumor was that Elvis paid a kings ransom to fake Sanders death because he couldn't live without the secret recipe fried chicken dinners.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL