Showing posts with label tu24. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tu24. Show all posts

1/28/2008

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/27/2008

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24

First Glimpse Of Asteroid TU24 To Slam Into Earth
Asteroid TU24

As Monday rapidly approaches NASA has all their satellites trained on asteroid TU24 which is speeding towards earth on an direct impact course. The asteroid should hit the Southern hemisphere at 0500 GMT on Monday the 28th.

NASA through it's tracking satellites was able to capture this startling photograph of TU24 just as it swung around the moon heading towards earth.

God save us all.....
And for you atheists, you're up the creek without a paddle.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/25/2008

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

10/17/2007

Extinction Size Armageddon Asteroid

Armageddon Asteroids "Best Kept Secret"

Is there an Extinction size Armageddon type asteroids floating out in our solar system just waiting to destroy the earth as we know it? Does our government know about it and why aren't they informing the public? These are frightening questions when the answers are revealed.

We have all seen the movies where an asteroid is detected in deep space and is on a trajectory course to hit earth and the governments of the world pull together and formulate a grandiose plan to save the planet and mankind. They somehow manage to collect a handful of vagabonds that have unique skills and are crucial and essential to the success of the plan and the future of our planet. These people are tossed together, trained for a no return mission, and sent off into space armed with some techno gadget nuclear bomb designed to split the asteroid in turn making it just missing the earth. Of course, this being Hollywood, several things go drastically wrong. Several people sacrifice their lives for the planet but finally the mission is completed and they land with a hero’s welcome waiting for them all.

But this ain't Hollywood folks. In all reality, humankind does not have the technology or machinery to deflect an Armageddon size asteroid. Our missiles do not have the range for deep space detonation needed to safely vaporize the asteroid high up in orbit. Nor do we have any conventional type weapons that would destroy an asteroid or alter its course. In fact, there is really little that could be done at this time. NASA and the government know this. They don't want you to know it.

Recently, a scientific survey was conducted on Armageddon type asteroid collisions by the United States Government and the resulting plan of action agreed upon was "Secrecy" if an asteroid were on course to collide with Earth. Since nothing could be done to avoid or destroy such a collision, it was determined that it would be best not to tell the public anything. If the government couldn't get any positive spin and no way to avoid global panic, the government would use the age old stand by policy that ignorance is bliss. Why issue the warning if nothing can be done about the impending danger?

What does NASA and our government know about Armageddon type impacts? NASA reports that it has been mapping the skies for the last 25 years looking for rogue comets and asteroids on a collision course with earth. So far, NASA says that they have found absolutely zero evidence of any such type asteroids or comets in our solar system in the Armageddon category and that the public should not worry about such things. Yet, just as recent as 2003, an asteroid several miles wide that would be deemed an Armageddon type passed between the earth and the moon. In cosmic terms, the asteroid missed the earth or the moon by an inch.

In fact, deep space reports are now being published that on average, 10 asteroids come close to the earth each and every year. One day, cosmic forces will alter the course of one of these rogue asteroids and send it on a collision course towards earth.

Ignorance is bliss…

LURKING, HELP ME OBI WAN, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL