Naked Thought Screen Helmet Leaders

Thought Screen Helnet Leaders

This exclusive never before seen photograpg of the alleged leaders of the evil race of aliens controlling the a vast majority of the Earth's population. The photo was taken in Elkhart, Indiana, just outside the property line of the Winnebago plant that President Obama toured just months ago. It would appear that these evil space aliens have set up a base in an abandoned home in the suburbs.

The aliens skin appears to have a shiny silvery metallic surface. Both are wearing some sort of protective face shield speculated by the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists to perhaps amplify their telepathic energy enabling to better hone in on the local population of abductee's. We can also assume that the weather was a bit nippy that morning.

WARNING!

Keep wearing your velostat thought screen helmets to stop alien abductions.

Back To Thought Screen Helmet Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Consequences Not Wearing Thought Screen Helmet

Consequences Of Not Wearing A thought Screen Helmel

Just Saying...
Don't let this happen to you!!!
Make sure your thought screen helmet is properly constructed.
Do not skimp on the magical 3M velostat cloth.
Make sure your helmet covers your entire dome.
Wear it at all times.

Back To Thought Screen Helmet Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

New And Improved Thought Screen Helmet

Not feeling feminine fresh? Now you can everyday with the new and improved Thought Screen Helmet (Developed by the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute) made just for women. Look, it has wings and it makes toast as an added bonus. The ultimate multi-task accessory for the on-the-go business women.

WARNING:
Women are not immuned from the threat of alien abduction as some people in the scientific community had believed. Wearing the TSH to board room meetings will assuredly get you noticed. In fact, you and your thought screen helmet will be the topic of conversation no matter where you go.
And who doesn't want that type of recognition.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Thought Screen Helmet Face Shield

No one can be 100% protected and secure from the evil race of aliens attempting to control ordinary citizens minds through telepathy. Thats why the Grassy Knoll Institutes team of rocket scientists have developed the Thought Screen Face Shield to compliment the thought screen helmet.

Up until today, the thought screen helmet was the only protection to prevent alien abduction and mind control. Now, the sleek light weight Thought Screen Face Shield is more added protection.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is constructed from durable lightweight polyurethane that contours to your facial features for a snug perfect fit. It is lined with a thin layer of velostat to block out a full frontal assault by thought controlling aliens giving you the freedom to go about your everyday chores and live a normal life.

Extensive testing proved when both are worn together, alien abductions dramatically decreased by over 95%. (Degree of accuracy scale is plus or minus 95%) With results like this, you cannot afford to be without one.

The Thought Screen Face Shield is proudly endorsed by:
The Phantom of the Opera
Freddy Kruger
Jason Verhooves
The Lone Ranger
Michael Myers
Spiderman
Batman
The Flash
The Green Lantern

Sold at reputable stores everywhere.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Thought Screen Helmet Safe Sex

Alien Sexual Relations

Oral Is Totally Out Of The Question

Dick and Jane have a problem. Both of them have been targeted by an evil race of aliens attempting to control their minds through telepathy. Hence, they must wear thought screen helmets 24 hours a day 7 days a week, the only device known to mankind to prevent alien abduction.

This puts a serious damper on their sex lives.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING, OH THE HUMANITY, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Thought Screen Helmet Death

On A Scale of 1 To 10

An evil alien race controlling local citizens minds through telepathy strike once again.

These two men barely had enough time to don their helmets before the aliens struck. Johnny, the man wearing the shiny metal thought screen helmet was quoted saying, "Thank god for the magical properties of velostat." (Velostat is a 3M fabric said to possess special magnetic properties that shield telepathic thought waves from aliens.)

Sadly, several seconds after this photo was taken, Johnny's head exploded from the pressure generated from the aliens attempting to penetrate Johnny's cranium.

The funeral is Saturday.

Back To Thought Screen Helmets Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL