Showing posts with label asteroid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asteroid. Show all posts

1/28/2008

Missed It By That Much - TU24

Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Asteroid TU24 Missed By This Much
Missed It By That Much

Asteroid TU24 safely flew by the earth this morning at 12:33 Eastern standard Time and did not impact as was predicted by our esteemed Grassy Knoll Institute rocket scientists. (The scientist in charge was given 40 lashes, and not the Max-Factor mascara type, and immediately fired)

Scientist 86 discovered his data was flawed after he failed to convert the telemetry data of the asteroid from U. S. standard measurements to metric. Thus, the error was the exact distance, 334,000 miles that asteroid TU24 missed the earth by.

The Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that each and every conspiracy theory served up is worth at least 99 cents, if not more. Critical math errors are not tolerated here. Apparently more overtime is necessary for the rocket scientists here.

Would you believe.....

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/25/2008

Asteroid To Hit Earth 01/28/2008

It has been confirmed that an asteroid is on a collision course to impact Earth in the Southern hemisphere on Monday, January 28th at approximately 0500 GMT. This rogue (A large, destructive, and anomalous or unpredictable heavenly body operating outside normal or desirable controls) asteroid is the size of the Sears Building in Chicago and was just discovered by NASA as it entered our solar system when it changed course towards earth.

Up until Monday the 21st, NASA was tracking the asteroid (Named TU24) displaying it's trajectory course and danger level towards earth and the probability of an impact. Yesterday, all data relating to TU24, it's mass, size, trajectory course, time of impact, was deleted and erased from the website and in it's place was a sign stating that the asteroid had a zero percent chance of striking earth and the threat level was minimal at best. (On Monday, the odds were 50-50 chance and closing for an impact.)

The Grassy Knoll Institute understands how governments work in times of crisis especially when no solution is available such as an Armageddon sized asteroid that has the potential to end all life on the planet. The government institutes it's plausible deniabilty scenario preaching ignorance is bliss and seemingly everyone goes about their business. Except the heads of state.

Imagine if the government went public and broadcast to the world that an asteroid would impact the earth causing total devastation. The panic and chaos of the public would cause a complete breakdown of government as hysteria and looting would continue right up until impact. Hence, all information on asteroid TU24 has been deleted.

Starting this weekend, keep an eye on the movement of our public figures such as the president, vice president, key cabinet members and scientists from NASA. They will begin to disappear from the public eye as they quickly gather in underground bunkers to safely weather the impact.

It's the weekend, and the end of the world is coming on Monday. It's time to check your bucket list and get cracking.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL