In God We Trust

The Grassy Knoll Institute, as many of you know, has thrown our collective hats into the political arena and announced that we are running for president of the united States in 2008 and by God, we will try our hardest to tackle the issues honestly and clearly. (Wait a minute, in today's age, using God in a speech is political suicide.) And that is what todays rant is about. God in American culture.

We at the Grassy Knoll institute believe that we, as a nation, nay, strike that, the entire human race is on the verge of a major event in time. End of the world perhaps, fire and brimstone, good VS evil, cats and dogs. And what about the twinkie? Sit back in your chairs folks, sip your tea, drink your coffee, chug your Coke or Pepsi. I'm digging in.......

If you look at our Declaration of Independence, the second paragraph clearly states and I quote, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

Ain't that grand. We, all of us, have these rights, with the guidance of the creator, to seek happiness. *Cue the happy ending music* (Wait, that ain't In A Godda Da Vida Baby)

If we look at what society is doing right now, here, today, yesterday, and surely tomorrow, is taking God, the Creator out of the equation all together. Every American reading this, quickly, right now, open your wallet or purse, grab a dollar bill, or a fiver, or any denomination. Do you see the "In God We Trust" engraved on that bill? Good, its there for a reason. It’s a warning sign. Our forefathers were very smart men, and oh yea, devout Christians.

(Still with me? Good. It'll be worth it....)
Today in any public school, we are not permitted, nay, it is ILLEGAL, unconstitutional, to speak the Lords name. Yet, every child that buys lunch in that school pays with money stamped with IN GOD WE TRUST on it. If we cannot speak the name of God, why is it permitted to be written on our currency?

It’s a warning!!! Remember?

Our very own Declaration of Independence, one of the most precious and revered documents, is, according to today’s norms, ILLEGAL, for it speaks of trusting in God and the Creator. Our current government has deemed these words unconstitutional. It has effectively removed God from our Constitution, our laws, our rules, our way of life.

Lets go back to that second paragraph of the declaration of Independence. "That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles"

Our forefathers gave us the power, nay, the responsibility to abolish any government that swayed from our Constitution. By taking God out of the equation, the Constitution has been altered to in such a way that this governing body cannot repair it.

Look at your money. Look at the schools we send our children to. Look at the corrupt politicians voting themselves pay raises and making deals to allow jobs to leave the states so as to make a couple more bucks to line their retirement pockets.

Our forefathers are reminding us each and every day we buy any commodity with our hard earned dollar bills. It’s time to say NO! No more. Time to draw the line in the sand. Time to throw the goddamn tea back into the harbor.

Otherwise, as I alluded to at the very beginning of this rant, religion will be extinguished from this nation giving rise to that world event I spoke of. Yes, the dawn of the anti-christ.

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Credit Card Gift Card

A Grassy Knoll Institute Holiday Shopping Tip

Thanksgiving is no longer a holiday to remember the Pilgrims sitting down with the Indians for a meal. It is now the kickoff day for the holiday shopping season feeding frenzy. Shoppers will flock in droves to the stores for those early bargains, deep discounted items, and door buster one-day only specials. But buyers beware. There is a new gift out there this year. The CREDIT CARD Gift Card. Yes, this gift just recently surfaced the past several years but is deemed to be one the most popular gifts given this holiday season. And the retailers love it.

Lets say you decide to get a $100.00 gift card for the family member on your list that is tough to buy for. After Christmas, said family member happily embarks to the local mall to buy, say, a pair of shoes. He pays $85.40 including tax. He then buys a pack of sports socks, his favorite team for $13.49 including tax. He has spent $98.89 and is happy that he got what he wanted. And, the credit card company is happy for said family member now has $1.11 left on his account and it is very difficult to purchase anything at the mall for that amount.

The credit card company will keep that balance available for approximately 6 months and then clear the account reaping in that $1.11 as profit. Multiply this amount by several million cards and it turns out to be a pretty sweet business venture.

I found this out last winter while shopping. My son had one of those gift cards good at any store in the Southern park Mall in Youngstown, Ohio. He used a good portion of it up and wanted to buy a calendar with the remaining balance. The clerk was unable to see the balance on the card and tried to complete the transaction. The computer beeped back that there wasn't enough on the card. My son tried a lower number and would pay the difference in cash.

He had to try 5 times before the computer would accept the amount entered. And still, my son didn't know how much was left on the card. Now wait a minute for everyone that is going to tell me that there is a website you can visit and enter the card number to see the balance, but when you are already at the mall, its a tough call.

So, what have we learned at the Grassy Knoll Institute today? When giving a monetary gift for Christmas, make it cash, not the gift credit card.

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Cafe Chloe - Las Vegas

While in Las Vegas several days ago, we ventured upon an Italian restaurant called Cafe Chloe that came highly recommended. The menu was simple yet plentiful, concise yet enticing. And as you can see, the prices were downright reasonable, especially for Las Vegas, the city of excess.

I ordered the Chicken Parmigiana with a side of Penne in a tomato sauce. Appetizers were fried buffalo cheese with tomatoes. They were delicious. Of course the rolls and butter were excellent.

In minutes the main course came and it was steaming hot and perfectly prepared. As you can see, the portion was hearty to say the least. The chicken was tender and juicy, the sauce just spicy enough, and the cheese was melted perfectly. The Penne was also quite delicious. A Coke completed the meal. The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 5 out of 5 shots and highly recommends Cafe Chloe for dinner.

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Omaha Porterhouse Steak

Fellow Grassy Knoll Institute scientist Jungle Jim, (Arnold) offers his own Blue Plate Special critique of an Omaha Porterhouse steak ordered from room service.

Since I am a practicing Catholic ; } and my lovely wife reminded me that we were in Lent now and could not have meat tomorrow I indulged myself. Since I am on the road traveling in Omaha Nebraska AND my hotel offers room service, I ordered a 16 oz porterhouse supplied by Omaha Steaks (but of course). I really wanted to see what a $40.00 steak tasted like and since I am using the company charge card I ordered it. I also ordered a cup or Nebraska Corn Chowder. The meal arrived in my room VERY hot. The chowder was to say the least to die for. Plaintiff Number 2's (ex-wife number two) father who was from this area always used to talk about this concoction. He was right. Think of creamed corn; add some cre'me and chunks of potatoes. Excellent!

The steak followed. It was cooked to perfection, med well with a slight tinge of pink in the center. The presentation was colorful. When I looked through the utensils, I didn't see a steak knife. I was going to call down to have one delivered bit decided to go it with just a butter knife. I didn't even need that. It was fork tender. It was accompanied by mashed sweet potatoes and steamed broccoli. The total bill with tip was $50.00. I rate this 4.5 out of 5 shots. While in Omaha Nebraska I recommend this steak which is served at Rain, the restaurant inside the Embassy Suites on South 10th street.

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Burger King Big Enormous

I saw the commercials. Burger King has a new enormous breakfast sandwich. So, I tried it this morning.
The price was $2.85 so I was expecting a rather large sandwich. The bun was soggy. The bacon was cold and not fully cooked. The sausage was cut in two pieces making it appear to look larger than it really was and it was a little dry. The scrambled eggs were OK but overpowering. The cheese was melted but not centered on the sandwich and dripped onto the wrapper.

The Grassy Knoll Institute does not recommend the Burger King BK Enormous sandwich rating it only 2 out of 5 shots.

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Popeyes Fried Chicken

Popeyes Fried Chicken

Stopping on a whim at Popeye's Chicken, the money behind the Grassy Knoll Institute AKA my loving wife Patty, we ordered the 8 piece meal which included mashed potato's with gravy and rolls.

The service wasn't to bad, the waitress was a little ditzy but able enough. We had about a five minute wait for our order.

The chicken was hot and crunchy, and that's all the good I can say about it. The taste was pretty bad. It looked good, but was far from it. It was very greasy, almost soaking with oil, and the batter breading was bland, and the chicken was bruised. it was barely edible.

The mashed potato's were horrible. There was some sort of Cajun mustard gravy on them, (No, you could not order the potato's without gravy which signaled that they were pre-made and frozen and thawed out in the microwave for us customers) And they were processed potato's, and tasted chalky, even with the ultra spicy gravy.

The rolls were not much better. They were stale, and crunchy, which I don't think rolls are supposed to be. They were so stale that they actually crumbled in my hand while trying to eat it.

The cost was $18.00 which was pretty steep considering the food was poorly prepared and tasted terrible.

The Grassy Knoll Institute rates Popeye's Chicken one half shot out of 5 and does not recommend this establishment for dinner.

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And Jupiter Aligns With Mars

And Jupiter Aligns With Mars

The recent bizarre weather patterns, or lack there of have not gone unnoticed at the Grassy Knoll Institute. Since the onset of winter in December of 2002, the seasons seem to be blurring together. This winter in the states, the weather was much more severe than in many years past. It seemed to snow almost every day and the temperature was constantly below freezing. As spring began to blossom, the same strange pattern occurred. Precipitation.

Yes, it usually rains in spring, but the rainfall was far above the average and the temperature remained unseasonably cooler than normal. The same pattern as spring gave way to summer. It rained constantly. More precipitation than in years past and the temperature was at least 10 degrees cooler than normal.

Many cities and towns were deluged with what is referred to as “The hundred year rain cycle" flooding streets, rivers cresting, and destruction of property in the hundreds of millions of dollars. This not only happened once, but twice in less than three weeks time. Two ferocious storm patterns with the intensity of the hundred-year rain wreaked havoc causing F.E.M.A. to take action declaring many states disaster area’s after the second storm hit.

Heavy rainstorm systems are not the only peculiar events this season. These storm systems have produced more tornadoes and hurricanes so far this year than ever before recorded in history.

Earthquakes have also increased during the same time period with many dormant fault zones becoming alive again with tremors registering sizable movement and damage.

As strange as it sounds, volcano eruptions have increased in the same time frame and the famed Yellowstone National Park also showed a huge jump in seismic activity leading scientists to believe that this hot bed area will soon erupt and change the landscape of Yellowstone. The last large eruption in Yellowstone was approximately 60,000 years ago and it is due for another gigantic eruption.

The Grassy Knoll Institute has been analyzing all these strange patterns and has come to the realization that there is no conspiracy coverup involved even as some rumors abound about the Government conducting weather altering experiments actually being able to control the weather as they see fit. To this theory, the Grassy Knoll Institute simply says...BULL.

There is a much simpler yet deadlier explanation to the strange weather patterns. One simply needs to look into the night sky for the answer. Search for the moon in the sky. Now, look to the right of the moon. Do you see that bright red shining object? The object that wasn’t visible to the naked eye a mere month ago. That object is the planet Mars. The fourth planet from the sun, our celestial neighbor, and it has come to pay us a visit.

On the 27th of August in 2003, Mars was the closest to Earth than it ever has been in the past 60,000 years. The planet Mars for the next 10 years will become "Close" neighbors with Earth. Approximately every 60,000 years Mars orbit moves in a much nearer approach towards Earth and will continue to be visible in the night sky until late October 2013. Coincidentally, the last time Yellowstone Park had a gigantic eruption was 60,000 years ago. Coincidence, the Grassy Knoll Institute thinks not.

The Grassy Knoll Institute believes Mars is the cause for the strange weather patterns we are having all around the globe? Mars is changing our seasons as it comes closer to the Earth? Mars is cooling the oceans creating weather changes turning dry areas into wetlands?

Does Mars have this power? When we look at the moon and the power it has over our oceans causing high and low tides with it’s gravitational pull, one would tend to believe that a planet the size of Mars would also have an effect on our oceans that determine out weather conditions. Mars, like the moon, has tremendous gravitational pull and with the combined pull of both the moon and Mars on our tectonic plates near earthquake fault lines, certainly the increase of earthquakes and tremors throughout the world can be attributed to this.

Beginning on the 28th, August 2003, Mars slowly began to start to move away distancing itself back to its regular orbit of more than 30 million miles away. This move will take up to ten years. The speed in which Mars returns to its orbit will be gradual ensuring an early fall season and a harsh, wet and cold winter. This pattern will continue for 10 years.

Epilogue:

Perhaps 50 million years ago, the dinosaurs looked up and gazed upon a strange light in the sky. Perhaps Mars inched even closer to Earth that time. Perhaps close enough to change the entire globes climate, sending the Earth into an ice age sealing the fate of the dinosaur. The Grassy Knoll Institute will keep its eyes focused skyward.

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Dare To Dream

Bullseye

For my entire 8 years of Catholic grade school I was hounded by Catholic nuns. When I came across this photo, I so wanted to do this many times as a student. Alas, I never had the chance or so help me, I would have loaded up.Please notice the accuracy of the snowballs being thrown. Its from all the practice the nuns have of hurling erasers at unsuspecting students sitting at their desks.....
These nuns had to be stopped and the Grassy Knoll Institute had just the plan to do it.

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Megan Fox - Sci Fi Sexy Siren

Megan Fox Teansformed Herself Into A Powerful Sci-Fi Sexy Siren

Megan Fox is our next Sci-Fi sexy siren to adorn our Grassy Knoll Institute. Megan Fox stars in the hit movie 'Transformers' about a race of two warring robot factions seeking out the ultimate power in the universe, the allspark. We sort of think it is Megan Fox. Enjoy the photo's below. Make sure you click on the thumb nail for the larger version. Check out Megan's sexy tattoos on her body.

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.

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Circuit City 24 Minute Pledge

If I had a rocket luancher,
If I had a rocket launcher,
Some son-of-a-bitch would die.

Its time to lock and load.
Deck the halls and ho ho ho and mistletoe and all that.
Well, during the Christmas season I was compelled to go shopping for my wife and son. I decided to begin by logging onto Circuit City for some DVD's, Cd's, and X-Box games. I see the big ad splashed across the website,....

(Details: 24 Minute Pickup Guarantee applies from time stamp on order confirmation email until the time order is ready for customer pickup. Guarantee excludes customer wait time in store lines. Offer valid on orders placed at circuitcity.com or by phone during pickup store's normal operating hours up to 30 minutes prior to closing. Guarantee not valid the day after Thanksgiving, 12/26 or 12/27. $25 minimum purchase. One $24 gift card offered per qualifying in-store pickup ticket, which must be claimed at time of pickup and is good for future purchases.)

So hell, yea, I'll shop online and pick it all up in a half hour. This would be great. I had about 20 items I needed. First item up for bid, a DVD movie that I cannot reveal for my wife and son read this blog constantly. And guess what, it wasn't available for customer pickup at the store. I went to the next selection, and the next, and the first four were not available for pickup. I had to have them shipped and have to pay a shipping charge. Only several of the 20 items needed were available to be picked up at the store.

So, damn man, off to Circuit City for some cold shopping. I arrive and happily the store is not very crowded as I easily find a parking spot. Into the store I go with my list of items. I head straight for the DVD section. A young girl, a Circuit City sales clerk asks if I needed any help. I asked if she really meant it for I had a list. (Not a lisp, a list) She said she would be happy to help.

So, I said I need so and so DVD. Off she ran to get it. From several rows over she called out, "Found it, whats next?" I yelled out the next title. This went on for about 15 titles. Then we moved on to several other items that I cannot divulge and she found them quickly. I thanked her profusely and she smiled and said I was welcome and i proceeded to the checkout.

What luck, no one in line. The cashier scanned my items, took the theft stuff off, and bagged my items. My credit card completed the transaction. I then asked why none of these items were available through the website promotion with the ready in 24 minute offer? She said they all were. Since there was no one else in line, I asked if she could look on the Internet and show me. She said they weren't connected to the Internet and couldn't look. I said the computer department had to have at least one computer hooked up to the Internet. I could see that she was ready to become hostile so being in the Christmas spirit, I said thank you and left.

Well, get the Fucking Rocket Launcher out, its damn false advertising on Circuit Cities side. What pissed me off was when I got home, the first thing on the TV is that freakin ad hyping the 24 minute shopping promotion.

The Grassy Knoll Institute politely says bunk......its a lie, a scam, a way to make you pay shipping charges.

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My Catholic Permanent Record

The Grassy Knoll Institutes Permanent Record
The nuns had upped the ante and pulled a new term from their habits to combat us Catholic kids, especially me. After my run in with the "Noah's Ark" debacle I was informed that all my bad deeds were somehow being mysteriously recorded in my permanent record. The head nun, sister Charlotte, proceeded to tell me that I was in big trouble and that my permanent record was starting to fill up and that it was such a pity since I was so young.

What was this thing called My Permanent Record? I needed to know and needed to know quickly. This was a new wrinkle thrown at me by the nuns and I had to turn to my trusted sources to find a solution.

So, when I got home from school that day, I waited around until my older brother Jack came home. He would know the low down on the permanent record. I would have to pay the price however, but at this point, he was the lesser of the two evils.

My brother Jack did not disappoint. At first he looked bemused upon hearing my inquiry, sighed a moment or two, ran his hand through his hair, and then exhaled very slowly as if he was about to tell me the secrets of the universe. Jack lowered his voice to almost a whisper and said that the living room was not the place to discuss such topics as ones permanent record.

Of course the garage would be more appropriate. (What was I thinking?) Once in the garage, Jack began a ritual of looking under the cars, in the roof rafters, through the windows, and out the garage doors. Apparently spies were everywhere in 1967 and one couldn't be too careful discussing such topics as a Catholics permanent record.

Satisfied that no one was watching or listening, my brother Jack began spinning his tale as if he were rehearsing a work of literature. Homer, the author of "The Odyssey" had nothing on Jack. Jack began by saying that God created your permanent record and passed it down to the nuns to help keep track of all your sins. You see, God was really busy and only paid attention to the really bad people like bank robbers, murderers, and people that left church services before mass was over.

All the rest of the people, especially the children were to be monitored by the nuns. I looked on in disbelief and waited for some sign that he was kidding but he pressed on. Every time you sinned he continued, the nuns would record the sin in your record book and keep a running total. Then, when you died and went to the pearly gates to face Saint Peter, he would have all the ammunition he needed to send you to hell. Damn those nuns I thought.

Jack continued explaining in more detail. He told me that the people that had to many hits (sins) on their record were not permitted to get into Heaven. Instead, they had to go to a waiting place, a way station so to speak and once there, had to work off their sins until they were pure enough to enter the kingdom of Heaven. He said this place was called Purgatory. Jack said not to confuse Purgatory with the other place called Limbo, where all the little babies that weren't properly baptized had to go and had to wait to get into Heaven until a certain amount of prayers were said for them.

Jack also said that some people who were bad people and knew they were going to Purgatory were able to go to the Parrish priest and set up an account and start paying off the time they would spend in there. He said it was called paying an indulgence. This sounded like paying off a mortgage. Jack said that maybe I should open my account and start paying off my time. Jack then added his famous disclaimer that I was to tell no one of this conversation and if I did, he would deny it all the way to his deathbed. This I believed. Everything else was a little shaky at best.

Sadly, much of what Jack told me was true and only later did the church begin to dismiss such beliefs.

Armed with this knowledge, I began formulating my game plan for revenge. To begin, I wondered how the nuns knew when I was committing a sin when I wasn't in school. Did they have some sort of nun radar or sonar that would pick up my sin signals? And, how were they able to filter out all the sins being committed by all the kids in the Parrish? How did they know it was me and not Tommy from the next street? I had to know.

I had to somehow test the nuns. Then it came to me. My logic was so flawless that it even scared me. Mr. Spock would be very proud if he were able to show emotions. My test would be to sin on Monday morning, maybe say a bad word or two but not loud enough for my mother or father to hear, but say them nonetheless. Then I would be as good as possible on Tuesday. At the end of the day, I would walk up to the nun after class and ask in a meek and frightened tone if she or the other nuns had written anything in my permanent record for today for I was a little worried about what I had done earlier in the morning.

The trap was set. The nun took the bait, and leaned close to me and said that not only did she write several sins down in my record for today, but had also told Jesus in a prayer what I had done today. She was trying to lay it on thick, making me feel guilty for what I allegedly did earlier that morning. She thought that for once she had the upper hand and would relish in her good luck. Being the good Catholic that I was, I took the sermon from her and tried to look as somber and guilty as possible knowing full well that this nun was lying through her teeth.

Several minutes later, after the nuns jaw got sore flapping it at me, she stopped and said that I hope that I learned a lesson from all this. Slowly, painstakingly, I turned towards her, and in a low voice I lowered the hammer on her. I simply asked who kept a tally of the permanent records of all the nuns lies and sins? It was out there. I implied it. She knew it. Knew that I was aware that she had lied to me right then and that of course I had regained the upper hand.

We'll take this up with the Pastor first thing tomorrow morning young man was all the nun could muster to say.

I couldn't wait to get home that day. I wanted to tell my brother Jack what had transpired. I knew he would be proud of me. When Jack walked in the front door, I asked him to come to the garage for a moment. He knew I meant business. Once in the garage, I spilled the beans and told him the whole story. Jack was laughing and said that I did good but he had one problem with my story. He asked how did I know the nun was lying when she said she wrote down several things in my record book that day? After all, he said I did sin by conspiring against the nuns in the morning and then again by going through with my plan. Two sins, two entries in the record book.

Tomorrow would be a bad day at school.

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Stage Deli - New York City

Stage Deli, Times Square, New York City

This sandwich was so good, I posted it twice......

Just a quick walk from David Letterman's theater is the Stage Deli restaurant where legend has it the portions are so huge you will not be able to finish it. The Grassy Knoll Institute needed to investigate post haste.

Upon arrival, the joint was packed but the waiter squeezed us in at a table that looked out to the street. Although we were piled in, we were comfortable. The service was exceptional. Although the deli was crowded, the hostess seated us immediately and even obliged our request to sit by a window. In just a matter of minutes, our drinks were on our table and several minutes later our dinner arrived.

I ordered the turkey breast, American cheese, on a Kaiser roll sandwich and of course already drinking the coke provided. Potato pancakes and French fries were also ordered as side dishes.

When my sandwich was brought out, I could hardly believe it. The sandwich was packed so high with turkey and cheese that to eat it, I had to re-distribute the sandwich using the top and bottom of the roll. It was the equivalent of four large sandwiches at other restaurants. And I was staring down two side dishes that were huge as well in portion.

Of course the sandwich was tasty, fresh, and perfect. The coke, a fountain coke, was exceptional as well. The cost was just under $20.00 excluding tip. Remember, the Stage Deli is in the heart of Times Square where everything is expensive. And BTW, I could not finish the sandwich. Not even close.

The Grassy Knoll Institute recommends Stage Deli and it scores a perfect 5 out of 5 shots.

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Beatles - Abbey Road 1969

Beatles Abbey Road Conspiracy Record Album

Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly
He got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller
He got hair down to his knee
Got to be a joker he just do what he please

The Beatles, the most popular rock band in the world, created their biggest selling album, Abbey Road, as their last album ever recorded. In 1969, the Beatles fab four were nothing of the sort. Bickering and infighting over Yoko and where the band was heading had Paul and John constantly fighting. However, the music did not suffer as Abbey Road produced classic hits such as Come Together, Something, Here Comes The sun, Octopus's Garden, and The End.

This album also is shrouded with conspiracy as the Paul is dead hoax was at its pinnacle of popularity. Supposedly the album cover, showing the Beatles crossing Abbey Road, depicted an English burial scene. John, dressed in white was the angel leading the way. Ringo, dressed in black as the minister. Paul, dressed in a blue suit, the dead corpse, and George, dressed in jeans, as the grave digger. Also, Paul was left handed but was holding his cigarette in his right hand. Paul is also out of step with the other Beatles. And the license plate on the Volkswagon on the left, it says 28IF, as in Paul would 28 if he were still alive. In the background, three lads look on, depicting the surviving Beatles, and the four are walking to the graveyard. You can see the grave yard fence in the background.

The back of Abbey Road had several clues as well. The letter S in the Beatles has a crack through it signifying the Beatles are broken up with Paul being dead. And if you count up all the bricks on the wall, it is the number of songs released by Lennon and McCartney. (Not really, I just made that up.)

The back cover also has the song titles and the famous Apple logo.

The actual vinyl record, with the famous green Apple logo. The front side had the entire label in green while side B had the Apple slice, as in the Apple cut in half. The Album is numbered, mine is SO-383 and the album is produced by George Martin.

It is such a pity that the Beatles never got back together again. They finally found their groove and Yoko split up the band.

Beatles Abbey Road Paul Is Dead Hoax

Beatles Abbey Road Vinyl Album Apple

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Open Hearth Restaurant

While in Gatlinburg, Tennessee this past November, I found that the Open Hearth restaurant had closed it's doors. Perhaps they had lost their lease, couldn't afford the property taxes, or just had a bad business plan. Whatever the reason, here is a last meal from the now defunct Open Hearth.

We walked to the foothills of the Smoky Mountains and saw the sign, Open Hearth and walked in. It was very eloquent inside and we were waited on right away. For being a busy evening in Gatlinburg and waiting lists of an hour or more at the other restaurants, this was a pleasant surprise. I asked what the soup of the day was and the waiter said that they didn't have any soup today. Oh well, I went for the Loaded Potato Skins and for the main course, Chicken Parmesan with spaghetti.

My fellow Grassy Knoll Institute scientist tried to order several different appetizers but none were available. Even the main courses were not available. he settled for the prime rib. Five minutes later, the waiter came back and said that he was sorry but the prime rib was also not available that evening. Reluctantly, he settled for the fish.

The potato skins were cooked just right, plenty of bacon, cheese, and no sour cream which I asked to be left off.

The chicken parm was very good as well. A very generous portion with plenty of tangy sauce. The spaghetti was average, a little to rubbery, and almost cold, like they forget to warm it up. But I was so full from the skins and parm, that the spaghetti was left on the plate and not touched.

The cost was just under $30.00 without tip which was reasonable, but not the best. The Grassy Knoll Institute rates Open hearth 2.75 stars out of 5 shots and barely recommends Open Hearth for dinner.

The lights are on, but no one's home.

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Duffs Smorgasbord

Duffs Smorgasbord Of Pigeon Forge

You guessed it. We are staying with the Gatlinburg, Tennessee cuisine for a few more entries. This time, we went to Duffs Smorgasbord in Pigeon Forge. It was Saturday night and Gatlinburg was packed with the lighting of the Christmas lights ceremony plus the Smoky Mountain Gift Show was in town packing the city to above maximum capacity. Hence, all the restaurants had a minimum of one hour wait time. So we set off to the Forge. We spotted the Duffs Sign and pulled in.

The line was short as it was a self serve set up. I quickly paid my $11.95 and got in line. I selected Mac and Cheese and a salad for starters and then went for the main entree pictured above. The fried chicken was crispy, not greasy, hot, and very good. The mashed potatoes were real, not flaky, and the rolls were fresh, hot, and tasty.

For dessert, there was Strawberry Shortcake and Brownies. And you could go back as many times as you wanted. The cokes were bottomless as well. It was a feast indeed. Duffs receives 4.5 out of 5 shots and the Grassy Knoll Institute recommends Duffs Smorgasbord.

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KFC Bucket Of Chicken

Kentucky Fried Chicken

Pictured above is the $9.99 10 piece meal, including 4 rolls, a pint of mashed potatoes and gravy. Technically, thats a dollar a piece plus the sides thrown in.

The chicken was cooked, hot, and was not real greasy. I hate greasy chicken. The rolls were warm, not stale, and adequate. The potatoes however, were paste like, and although hot, they were barely edible. Thats why they give you the gravy. To kill the taste of the mashed potatoes.

The service was drive through, not a bad wait, several minutes, the employees nice and cheerful, and the food packed neat and nice. All in all, Grassy Knoll Institute awards KFC a 2.75 out of 5 shots and barely recommends KFC.

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$3.00 Hot Dog

This is what a $3.00 hot dog at a typical trade show looks like. Yes, 3 bucks for a hot dog. And not even a foot long, or a chili dog, just a plain hot dog.

This one was purchased at the Smoky Mountain Gift Show in Gatlinburg, Tennessee November 6th, of this year. Being a little busy that day, I decided to stop at the kiosk and grab a dog. What a mistake. I re-tasted that hot dog all day long and well into the evening. That was the last hot dog I will buy there. (BURP!)

The Grassy Knoll Institute fires 1 out of 5 shots and does not recommend trade show hot dogs.

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Wendys Double Cheeseburger

I drive past a Wendys fast food restaurant almost daily but rarely stop. Today, for the first time in a long while, I tempted fate and pulled into the drive through lane. The line was only several cars and it moved quite quickly. I ordered the Wendys double cheeseburger and large french fries. A always have the urge when at a drive through when the voice from the speakerbox asks, May I help You?" I have to fight back the words, "No, just driving through!"

In a matter of minutes I was at the first window paying for my order. A double cheese and a large fry came to just over $4 dollars. A little steep for a double and fry. A few seconds later I was at the second window picking up my order. I must say that the drive through line was quite efficient but not very friendly or courteous. I didn't get a hello, or thank you, or if I needed ketchup or salt. All that was said from the employee was, well, nothing. I handed her a fiver and she made change and stuck her hand out the window with my change. No thank you, no smile, nothing.

As you can see, the burger looks nothing like the one's you see in the television commercials. This one was flat, with a little piece of the bun scrapped off. The burgers were haphazardly tossed on the bun and there was more cheese on the wrapper than on the burgers. The burger was hot, but was rather bland tasting. I remember Wendys from the past having a very good unique tasting burger. Today's burger does not compare to the one's of old at Wendys.

The fries were hot, crunchy, and plentiful. Lightly salted, tasted good but again, the one's of old were much better.

The Grassy Knoll Institute score 2.5 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Wendys double cheeseburgers. If you find yourself hungry late late at night and Wendys is your only choice, perhaps it is time to start your diet.

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Summitville Turkey Dinner

There's a little old church in the small town of Summitville, Ohio that every October hold a fund raising turkey dinner. The Grassy Knoll Institute usually makes it to this event. The dinner is held in the church basement and after you bought the dinner ticket (Which was $7.00) you could spend your time playing dollar bingo with the townsfolk. Or take a stroll around the grounds.

As you can see from the photo above, there was plenty of juicy oven baked turkey, home made stuffing, whipped mashed potatoes with home style gravy, fresh corn, fresh warm rolls with butter, and a home made piece of pumpkin pie. There was no limit to how many servings you could have. I had three go arounds with the turkey plate and a double dip with the stuffing and potatoes. Right to the score. Grassy Knoll Institute ranks Summitville 5 out of 5 shots.

PS: The pumpkin pie was still warm and was a very generous portion. There was a selection of cherry, apple, pumpkin, and several other desserts to choose from, but being that it was October, the pumpkin seemed the logical choice.

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Roadhouse Restaurant - Chicken Parmigiana

Chicken Parmigiana At The Roadhouse

Contrary to popular belief, there are still several restaurants operating in the Youngstown, Ohio area. The Roadhouse is one of them.

Being that we were dining with a group, about 20 of us, we were still seated quite promptly. Drinks were brought up quickly and all of our orders were served hot and correct. No small task for a group of 20.

As you can see, I ordered the Chicken Parmigiana and instead of getting a side of pasta, I went off the board and ordered steak fries covered with cheese and bacon.

The chicken was very tasty, and was a very generous portion. The cheese and sauce added a nice taste to the breaded chicken. It was delicious. The fries were equally good. They had plenty of bacon bits and melted cheese. And the fries were hot. All in all, a very good dinner.

The cost, at about $15 before tip was an excellent value. Of course rolls and cokes completed the meal. The Grassy Knoll Institute rates the Roadhouse 4 out of 5 shots and recommends the Roadhouse for dinner.

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Hooters Of Las Vegas

Dave and I stopped at Hooters, a quaint little restaurant at the old San Remo hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. Yes, of course the waitresses were good looking, we're at Hooters for God's sake.

The first we did, other than checking out the scenery, was to peruse the menu. They were already at our table. The menu had a pretty good selection of entree's but being at Hooters, I knew what I wanted.

Yes, Hooters famous wings with BBQ sauce. it was a very good portion, and the wings were just hot enough, not flaming hot, just spicey enough.

The main course was a bacon cheeseburger with french fries. The burger was hot and juicy and cooked to my specifiacations. The bacon was crisp. The fries were plentiful with a little seasoning on them.

The service was good and the order was correct. The waitress was nice and courteous.

The Grassy Knoll Institute gives 4.5 out of 5 shots and recommends Hooters of Las Vegas for dinner.

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Treasure Island Steak House

Las Vegas T.I. Steakhouse

The Treasure Island hotel and casino in Las Vegas has several fine eating establishments. Tonight's critique is the Steakhouse restaurant.

Of course, being in a steakhouse, I ordered the Filet Mignon, medium well done, and a baked potato with butter. And yes, a Coke.

The service was quite good, the filet cooked as ordered, and the baked potato loaded with butter. The filet had absolutely zero fat, was juicy, tender, and delicious. The potato was excellent as well as potato's go.

The price was $30.00 for the meal which included bread and rolls. For the quality, the price was good.

The Grassy Knoll Institute rates 4.5 out of 5 shots for the Steakhouse at the Treasure Island.

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Canters Deli Las Vegas - Turkey Sandwich

Canter's Deli At Treasure Island

On my most recent trip to Las Vegas, I stopped at Canter's Deli, an in house restaurant at Treasure Island Casino. They have several great places to eat, which I will critique at a latter time but lets get to Canter's.

The restaurant area was set up as an almost self serve type. You would order from the window, pay, and move your tray down the line. I ordered a turkey breast, American cheese sandwich on a Kaiser roll. Added french fries and a coke.

It was only a five minute wait and the order was correct. The cost was under 20 bucks. Not bad in Vegas.

I found a table with a view to the wide screen TV's around the restaurant. The tables were clean and comfortable. The turkey fresh and good, the bun fresh, and the fries, well, its hard to describe. They were crunchy yet fluffy. Very unique quality.

They did not skimp on the turkey, or the cheese and the fries were plenty. All in all, good value for the price.

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The Grassy Knoll Institute gives 3.5 shots out of 5 and recommends Canter's Deli.

Arbys Big Montana Roast Beef

The Big Montana

Arbys roast beef fast food chain has a new sandwich code named "Big Montana" that is hyped as their biggest sandwich to date. Yes, tis a big sandwich, weighing in at 8 ounces of roast beef piled on a lightly buttered sesame seed bun. The container was a clear see through box.

The cost: $3.79 just for the sandwich. Pretty steep.

The taste: Good, as Arbys roast beef sandwiches go. It was well cooked and warm, the bun was fresh and not flat or beat up, and no fat in the meat.

The service and presentation: Drive through, and the order was correct, customer service courteous, and quick. As stated above, contents came in a see through container.

The Grassy Knoll Institute ranks Big Montana 3 out of 5 shots losing points for cost and a bit of confusion but still recommends Arbys for lunch.

The confusion: The Big Montana is not Big Montana anymore. it is now called Large Roast Beef Sandwich. Upon further investigation, Arbys has 4 sizes in roast beef sandwiches. They are the junior, regular, medium, and large roast beef sandwiches. Apparently, the old Giant roast beef is now deemed the medium and the Big Montana is now the large. The regular and junior remain the same. The Super roast beef is an altogether different sandwich as it has lettuce, tomato, mayo, on it. It has remained the Super with no name change.

On a side note: The regular roast beef costs $1.79 for 154 grams of meat. If you purchased two regulars for $3.58, you would save 21 cents and still receive 27 grams more meat plus an additional sesame seed bun. That's the bargain.

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Burger King - BK Stacker Double

Burger King BK Stacker Double

The Grassy Knoll Institute has been watching the national commercials closely now for several months attempting to uncover some sort of subliminal message conspiracy embedded in the ads. The Institute believes we have found one.

Burger King, the fast food hamburger giant has been touting its new sandwich, the BK Stacker filled with meat and cheese. In the ad, the sandwiches look huge, bigger than the Whopper. In reality, it is merely a standard size hamburger bun, two hamburger patties, two pieces of cheese, and a piece of bacon. To put it more bluntly, a bacon double cheeseburger.

The cost is $2.50 for this so-called "Stacker."

The taste was alright. The burgers were cooked and hot, the bun fresh, the cheese melted. All wrapped up in a paper wrapper.

Why am I not impressed? Because right down the street you can buy a double cheeseburger at McDonalds for 99 cents. The same size less the one piece of bacon for $1.50 less.

The Grassy Knoll Institute does not recommend the BK Stacker and gives ZERO out of five shots. We recommend to order two cheeseburgers and put them together and save 72 cents.

On a side note. When I ordered this sandwich at the drive through today, I pulled to the second window and I asked if I could add one more BK Stacker sandwich. The BK employee said yes I could but I would have to pull around and wait several minutes until they made another sandwich. I quickly glanced in my rear view mirror noticing no one behind me and I asked politely why I would have to wait and pull around.

The employee simply said, "Do you want to wait or not?" I chose not to wait. Burger King lost another $2.50 in sales and profit. They act as if they are the only burger joint in town. That was absolutely lousy customer service.

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Arbys - Big Montana Sandwich

Posted by LOTGK on November 2, 2007

The Big Montana

Arbys roast beef fast food chain has a new sandwich code named “Big Montana” that is hyped as their biggest sandwich to date. Yes, tis a big sandwich, weighing in at 8 ounces of roast beef piled on a lightly buttered sesame seed bun. The container was a clear see through box.

The cost: $3.79 just for the sandwich. Pretty steep.

The taste: Good, as Arbys roast beef sandwiches go. It was well cooked and warm, the bun was fresh and not flat or beat up, and no fat in the meat.

The service and presentation: Drive through, and the order was correct, customer service courteous, and quick. As stated above, contents came in a see through container.

The Grassy Knoll Institute ranks Big Montana 3 out of 5 shots losing points for cost and a bit of confusion but still recommends Arbys for lunch.

The confusion: The Big Montana is not Big Montana anymore. it is now called Large Roast Beef Sandwich. Upon further investigation, Arbys has 4 sizes in roast beef sandwiches. They are the junior, regular, medium, and large roast beef sandwiches. Apparently, the old Giant roast beef is now deemed the medium and the Big Montana is now the large. The regular and junior remain the same. The Super roast beef is an altogether different sandwich as it has lettuce, tomato, mayo, on it. It has remained the Super with no name change.

On a side note: The regular roast beef costs $1.79 for 154 grams of meat. If you purchased two regulars for $3.58, you would save 21 cents and still receive 27 grams more meat plus an additional sesame seed bun. That’s the bargain.

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Lure Of The Red Planet

President Bush announced that we the people are going back to the moon and then onward to Mars, the red planet, with manned flights. Bush wants to accomplish this within the next twenty years. He has pledged an additional $87 million dollars over the next 5 years for NASA to study and update the aging shuttle system and create new innovative ways to propel fragile men into the cold vastness of space to explore a planet that has been dead for a billion years. It doesn’t matter that we already invaded Mars with our robotic rovers that have captured breathtaking photo’s.

It doesn’t matter that we have a new and improved lander on Mars right now promising more advanced experiments to measure soil content, search for and find water, and for signs of life, past and present. It seems that robotic space exploration is far cheaper and safer than manned exploration. At this time, there is no need to risk the lives of our astronauts. Not to mention the tremendous expense for manned flight.

How does President Bush plan on paying for this space adventure? It has been estimated that the cost of the journey to Mars will be 1 trillion dollars. Yes, trillion. What does that mean to the average American taxpayer? It means that each and every one of us taxpayers will be shelling out over $6000.00 to the Mars project.

The Grassy Knoll Institute is all for the exploration of space, but the trillion dollars could be better used for a host of other critical needs in the United States.

I would much rather see adding more schools and teachers to educate our children.

I would rather see medical research to curb or cure deadly diseases.

I would rather see bolstering our homeless shelters making sure everyone has something to eat every night.

Hiring more police officers, rescue workers, and firefighters.

If I am going to kick in 6 plus grand of my hard earned tax money, I want more than pictures from a distant planet that I will never visit.

Also, I wondered why Bush has decided to make such a bold statement.

The answer is very simple. He wants to liken himself to President Kennedy and his bold initiative of landing a man on the moon and bringing him back safely by the end of the 1960′s decade. Kennedy introduced this during his inaugural address. These were pretty strong words for a newly elected president. Yet, the public was enamored with Kennedy and quickly got behind his dream pledging their support as well.

We were all in this together was the feel and atmosphere at that time. The Astronauts were elevated to elite status and NASA pushed forward and Armstrong finally took that historic first step on the moon in 1969.

Kennedy, even though assassinated, kept his pledge to the American people of landing a man on the moon, and NASA kept it’s end of the bargain by using all it’s resources to make the Apollo program successful. President Kennedy will be forever linked to Americans landing on the moon and the huge technology advance needed to make it happen.

President Bush understands this. He realizes that the American people are enamored with space and the planet Mars. What better way to go down in history than to be remembered as the president that dared the American public to expand into space to the planet Mars. I know he doesn’t want to be remembered as being the president that almost choked to death on a pretzel.

Yes folks, President Bush has a strategery!

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