San Francisco Chinese Pizza

Chinese Pizza In San Francisco

Walking the streets of San Francisco, I happened upon this pizza shop in an out-of-the-way corner. I was hungry and decided to enter. It did not have the appearance of a standard pizza shop, but hey, there was a picture of a slice of pizza on the sign outside so it had to be good, right! I ordered a slice of cheese pizza with sausage and pepperoni.

This is what I got. I will say, it mostly resembled a slice of pizza, it certainly was triangular, and flat. But I was looking for taste. And,... well,... it wasn't awful. It was warm, which was a plus, the crust wasn't stale, the sauce from a jar, the cheese from a bag, but all in all, it wasn't awful. The price, $3 dollars, which, in San Francisco and being hungry, wasn't awful.

To sum up. It wasn't awful.

The Grassy Knoll Institute scores 2 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Shawerma Chinese Pizza for dinner.

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Marinos Italian Cafe - Austintown, Ohio

I have heard about a quaint little restaurant called Marino's located in Austintown, Ohio. During Lent, we decided to stop in and try it. On a Friday night we were a little stunned that it was not busy. In fact, there were only about 4 tables being used by customers.

Anyway, we were seated right away and I ordered the fish dinner and a fried cheese appetizer. In about five minutes the cheese was brought to our table. There were five small pieces and a small bowl of dipping sauce. The sauce was OK, standard fare. The cheese sticks the same way. Standard, nothing bad, nothing good, just average.

The rolls were good though. I suspect they were home-made, they were warm, fresh, and tasted good, especially with melted butter.

The salad was standard fare. Excuse me for the late snapshot of the salad. I ate more than half when I realized I forgot to snap the picture.

About 20 minutes went by and our fish dinners arrived. I ordered Mac and Cheese as a side dish. As you can see, the fish was thin, and skinny. The breading was adequate but a little soggy. It had a "Fishy" smell to it which to me means it was not as fresh as it could be. The taste was OK. Certainly not what I had expected as several people told me about the place. The Mac and Cheese was cold.

All this for a Friday special of $12 dollars plus coke and tip.

The Grassy Knoll Institute scores 2.25 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Marino's Italian Cafe for dinner.

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Lorna Doone Cookie Conspiracy

Lorna Doone Cookie Conspiracy

Lorna Doone Cookie Conspiracy

Lorna Doone Cookie Box Not Full

Traveling to work today I glanced at the local gas station and saw the price was $3.89 per gallon. I guarantee it will only be a matter of time before gas stations adjust their pumps and begin selling gas in half a gallon quantities. $1.95 per half gallon appears better than $3.89 per gallon.

It appears that cookie maker Nabisco has already created their own less is more attitude for their famous Lorna Doone brand cookies. Upon inspection of the Lorna Doone contents, you can clearly see that the cookie wraps do not reach the top of the box. Not even close. And, to make matters even muddy, one of the wrappers had two cookies less than the other. Nabisco cannot blame content settling when one wrapper has less than the other.

Expecting a lower price? Hardly! The cost was ironically $3.89 per box. I wonder if Nabisco will be selling half boxes for $1.99 anytime soon?

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Pastino's Chicken Planks

Pastino's chicken tenders and cheese sticks. Fries were extra. You are looking at $6.75 worth of food in a tin foil and styrofoam container.The chicken tenders were standard, chicken from the grocery store cooked in Pastino's oil. And so were the fries. And the cheese sticks. Possibly all at the same time. No matter if I took a bite out of the chicken, fries, or cheese sticks, somehow, they all tasted and smelled the same. But hey, it's only $6.75 right!

The service, standard delivery, tin foil reactor plates, and plastic bags. The food was hot, and the order was correct, and edible, and filling, and cheap enough to serve as a lunch.

With this in mind, the Grassy Knoll Institute awards 2.5 shots out of 5 and recommends Pastino's for lunch.

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Kalik Beer Of The Bahama's

Grassy Knoll Institute scientist Jungle Jim, while on a mission to the Bahama's to uncover the real story of Anna Nicole Smith's death, took some time out to enjoy a cold brew. Here is Jim's critique of a beer he happened upon.

As I sit in the Bahamas gazing out my window, my contact at the Bahama National Police suggested I try the local beer called Kalik,,the EXTRA STRENGTH one! Holy Cow. After only 2 beers I caught a strong buzz that is still with me. My ears are warm and my head is woozy. At $2.50 per beer it packs the same punch as a 6 pack of ANY American beer. All hail Kalik beer! I rate it 4.8 shots out of 5.Thank GOD for spell check, it worked overtime on this submission.

PS: Grassy Knoll Institute special scientist Jimmy hard at work.

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Gallaghers Steak House - New York

Gallagher's Steak House, located at 228 West 52nd Street, Manhattan, NY.

When in New York, I always try to get to Gallagher's Steak House. Yes, you are correct, there are dozens of quality steak houses in Manhattan but Gallagher's just seems to have the leading edge. Of course, you must arrive early which is the only way to get seated unless you want to wait an easy hour for a table. Get there before 6 and you will be OK.

We were greeted and politely escorted to our table where water and fresh warm bread and rolls were immediately placed on our table. The bread is actually pretzel twists, and when butter is applied, it is a heavenly combination.

Drinks were ordered, (I had a Coke) and then dinner. I ordered, being in a famous steak house, (Gallagher's is well known for its wood fired ovens for steaks and chops that enhance the flavor of the meat) the Filet Mignon, and had it butter-flied for it was such a tall piece, I wanted it cooked more than the normal. I added the Gallagher fries as a side dish.

Drinks were brought right away and after a very short wait, I was spying my filet. Of course it was superb, cooked precisely perfect, tender, juicy, with almost zero fat. The fries, (potato wedges) were crisp, hot, and tasty.

The service was polite, efficient, and professional.

The cost was a little pricey with this meal closing in on $60.00 without tip. The Grassy Knoll Institute highly recommends Gallagher's Steak House and awards 4.75 out of 5 shots.

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Peddler Steak House - Gatlinburg

The Peddler Steakhouse of Gatlinburg, Tennessee

The Peddler Sign welcomes you to the best steakhouse in the South. The restaurant is packed every night of the week, and for good reason. The steaks and chops are legendary and delicious. There is always a good 1-2 hour wait depending on the time of arrival. The trick is to eat in the open bar and lounge area. We walk straight in and find an open table. Most people are sipping drinks waiting for a table to open up down stairs but we just inform the waiter that we are eating here.

The waiter brought out a basket of hot delicious rolls with butter. He took our order and we proceeded to the salad bar. My Salad was fantastic with big chunks of ham, real bacon, hard boiled eggs, green olives, celery, carrots, several varieties of grated cheese, tomato, and of course lettuce.

The main entree, Filet Mignon, was prepared medium well and I asked for it to be butterflied to ensure it would be done. It was perfect. Absolutely zero fat on the filet and it was very tender and juicy.A baked potato came with the filet and I smothered it with butter. The cokes were bottomless and crisp.

The service, considering the crowd was exceptional. Our meals were promptly served with a smile.

The cost is a little pricey. The Filet dinner was just over $50.00 without tip.

The Grassy Knoll Institute recommends the Peddler for dinner in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and awards 4 out of 5 stars deducting only for the crowd and the cost.

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Parkway Pancake House - Gatlinburg

The Hash Browns Are To Die For

Parkway Pancake House is right on the main drag and Airport road in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We make sure to always stop and have breakfast when visiting this great town.

As you can see, I had scrambled eggs, sausage, pancakes and hash browns. Hot maple syrup and butter completed the meal. The eggs were cooked well, not runny, not burnt. The sausage was cooked well also. And oh, the hash browns, cooked perfectly. To the pancakes. Light, fluffy, with butter and hot maple syrup were fantastic.

The service was excellent. We were seated right away even though there was a crowd. The waitresses were friendly, well trained, and curteous.

The cost, I was amazed, it was under $9.00 without tip. Keep in mind, we were in tourist trap city and all the prices are higher.

The Grassy Knoll Institute recommends Parkway Pancake House and rates it 4.25 shots out of 5.

Sadly, the Parkway Pancake House is closed. It is now Bubba Gumps.

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Cafe Chloe - Las Vegas

While in Las Vegas several days ago, we ventured upon an Italian restaurant called Cafe Chloe that came highly recommended. The menu was simple yet plentiful, concise yet enticing. And as you can see, the prices were downright reasonable, especially for Las Vegas, the city of excess.

I ordered the Chicken Parmigiana with a side of Penne in a tomato sauce. Appetizers were fried buffalo cheese with tomatoes. They were delicious. Of course the rolls and butter were excellent.

In minutes the main course came and it was steaming hot and perfectly prepared. As you can see, the portion was hearty to say the least. The chicken was tender and juicy, the sauce just spicy enough, and the cheese was melted perfectly. The Penne was also quite delicious. A Coke completed the meal. The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 5 out of 5 shots and highly recommends Cafe Chloe for dinner.

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Stage Deli - New York City

Stage Deli, Times Square, New York City

This sandwich was so good, I posted it twice......

Just a quick walk from David Letterman's theater is the Stage Deli restaurant where legend has it the portions are so huge you will not be able to finish it. The Grassy Knoll Institute needed to investigate post haste.

Upon arrival, the joint was packed but the waiter squeezed us in at a table that looked out to the street. Although we were piled in, we were comfortable. The service was exceptional. Although the deli was crowded, the hostess seated us immediately and even obliged our request to sit by a window. In just a matter of minutes, our drinks were on our table and several minutes later our dinner arrived.

I ordered the turkey breast, American cheese, on a Kaiser roll sandwich and of course already drinking the coke provided. Potato pancakes and French fries were also ordered as side dishes.

When my sandwich was brought out, I could hardly believe it. The sandwich was packed so high with turkey and cheese that to eat it, I had to re-distribute the sandwich using the top and bottom of the roll. It was the equivalent of four large sandwiches at other restaurants. And I was staring down two side dishes that were huge as well in portion.

Of course the sandwich was tasty, fresh, and perfect. The coke, a fountain coke, was exceptional as well. The cost was just under $20.00 excluding tip. Remember, the Stage Deli is in the heart of Times Square where everything is expensive. And BTW, I could not finish the sandwich. Not even close.

The Grassy Knoll Institute recommends Stage Deli and it scores a perfect 5 out of 5 shots.

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Open Hearth Restaurant

While in Gatlinburg, Tennessee this past November, I found that the Open Hearth restaurant had closed it's doors. Perhaps they had lost their lease, couldn't afford the property taxes, or just had a bad business plan. Whatever the reason, here is a last meal from the now defunct Open Hearth.

We walked to the foothills of the Smoky Mountains and saw the sign, Open Hearth and walked in. It was very eloquent inside and we were waited on right away. For being a busy evening in Gatlinburg and waiting lists of an hour or more at the other restaurants, this was a pleasant surprise. I asked what the soup of the day was and the waiter said that they didn't have any soup today. Oh well, I went for the Loaded Potato Skins and for the main course, Chicken Parmesan with spaghetti.

My fellow Grassy Knoll Institute scientist tried to order several different appetizers but none were available. Even the main courses were not available. he settled for the prime rib. Five minutes later, the waiter came back and said that he was sorry but the prime rib was also not available that evening. Reluctantly, he settled for the fish.

The potato skins were cooked just right, plenty of bacon, cheese, and no sour cream which I asked to be left off.

The chicken parm was very good as well. A very generous portion with plenty of tangy sauce. The spaghetti was average, a little to rubbery, and almost cold, like they forget to warm it up. But I was so full from the skins and parm, that the spaghetti was left on the plate and not touched.

The cost was just under $30.00 without tip which was reasonable, but not the best. The Grassy Knoll Institute rates Open hearth 2.75 stars out of 5 shots and barely recommends Open Hearth for dinner.

The lights are on, but no one's home.

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