Lost Update - Two Tickets To Paraidse

lost Update - Season V - 01/18/2009

Got a surprise especially for you,
Something that both of us have always wanted to do.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here,
I've got two tickets in my pocket, now baby, we're gonna disappear.
We've waited so long, waited so long.
We've waited so long, waited so long.

We have all waited a long time for season 5 of ABC Lost, the ABC TV Sci-Fi series. On Wednesday, the wait will be over when we'll find out if Ben really has a time machine, or if John Locke is dead, or if the Oceanic Six gets back to the island. And more importantly, how my Lost theory ties into season five and beyond.

Just what is my theory….. I’ll tell you in a Lost island minute.
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is behind all this other than the mysterious government men? Aliens of course.

From the pilot episode of season one, I formulated two theories on what was happening on Lost. One is the virtual reality theory. The second is The Rod Serling Effect. This theory concentrates primarily on the Twilight Zone, a Sci-Fi TV series created by Rod Serling that aired 1959-1963 and other assorted works he wrote, produced, and directed. You can read this theory ark here.

I also want to take this time to explain another Grassy Knoll Institute anomaly that many readers have asked me about. Why my Lost update titles do not match with the official titles of the series. There are several reasons for that.

One reason is the tie in of the song and lyrics to that specific episode and how it relates to my theory. For example, tonight's title, Two Tickets To Paradise. Of course, Lost is filmed in Hawaii, or paradise, but more than that, many Lost inhabitants believe the island is paradise. Also, the third line, "We waited so long," as in the last new episode aired in May of 2008. That is a long time. Add in the theme that there's a plane ride, to some place far away and that they are going to disappear, and you have the elements of the series and tonight's update.

Below is the Season IV LOST DVD insert, the Oceanic "For Your Safety" guide. Check it out, it is pretty entertaining and be sure to check for the clues embedded.

Until Wednesday, Get Lost!

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Crocs - Ugly Ass Shoes

Crocs Invasion Continues

Patty and I were in Gatlinburg, Tennessee a few months ago. We were walking along the Parkway enjoying the weather and the scenery when we happened upon this store front window. There in the showcase was a variety of multicolored Crocs, A/K/A the ugliest ass shoes ever made.

Now I'm not hating, I just cannot understand the appeal of these shoes. Unless you worked in the circus and wore a bright colored red wig with a red bulb nose and painted your face and known by the carnival name Bozo, then you have no business wearing Crocs. Seriously, where the hell else are you going to wear rounded orange plastic shoes with holes in them with no back to them?

P.T. Barnum was right when he said there's a sucker born every minute.

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Almost Famous Logo

Almost As Famous As Haight Ashbury... Almost.

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Thought Screen Helmet Inauguration Fittings

Inaugural Ball Style

As was expected, the Grassy Knoll Institutes scientific studies conclude that alien telepathic activity spikes during presidential inaugurations. With president-elect Barack Obama being sworn in January 20th, every precaution is being taken to avoid any national security issues.

Washington Thought Screen Helmet makers have geared up production and are cranking out tailor made helmets to those attending the presidential inauguration and ball. Hurry though, supplies are limited and you don't want to be the only one not wearing your thought screen helmet.

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Eva Mendes - Sci Fi Sexy Siren

Eva Mendez  Sexy Siren In Ghost Rider

Eva Mendes - Smokin Hot Sci-Fi Sexy Siren

Seriously, I never realized how many movies Eva Mendes has been in. Of course, she stars in the just released movie, "The Spirit," a sort of Sin City sequel. That alone makes Eva eligible to be the first Sci-Fi Sexy Siren for the new year, but she has starred in plenty more horror and science fiction movies.

*Eva also played the love interest of motorcyclist Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider, who sold his soul to become the best rider in the world.
*She was also in Urban Legend, a horror flick where the local college folks get murdered.
*She played Hanna in Mortal Kombat: Conquest, a science fiction thriller.
*And Eva Mendes was in Children Of The Corn V, Fields Of Terror.

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.

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Stephen Kings Favorite Fish

Stephen King's Favorite Fish

Photo taken at the Gatlinburg, Tennessee Ripley's Smoky Aquarium while visiting back in September of 2008.

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R.I.P. Dad - 1923-2008 - Press On

My Father passed away Monday, December 22nd, 2008 from a massive heart attack. Dad was 85 years old. Mere words cannot describe the man he was or how he influenced me, our family, and the many he helped along the way.

Dad was the youngest of 7 children. (Just like me) Dad was preceded in death by his son George, his sisters, Sadie, Helen, Mary, Libbs, Aida, and his brother George.

He leaves behind his wife (Delores) of almost 60 years. Next month is Dad and Mom's 60th wedding anniversary. Also, two sons, Jack, and Patrick, (Me) four daughters, Carol, Marilyn, Nancy, and Sally.

Dad was a World War II veteran serving in General George Patton's 3rd Army, 249th Combat Engineers. Dad saw action IN the Battle Of The Bulge, perhaps the bloodiest battle in the European Theater, the Rhine Crossing, and liberated several concentration camps.

Dad once told me that he and his unit would draw straws to see who drew first round to sweep for mines before the tanks would roll into new territory. That day it was Dad's turn to be first out. It was also a day that Patton was touring the unit which was very rare. When Patton learned what the men were doing, (Drawing straws) he immediately donned the mine sweeping gear and took first sweep.

Dad and Mom made sure the children were well traveled. By the time I was 15, I had visited all 48 continental states. Most of the vacations we went on was via the car. Nine people (Yes, 9, Mom, Dad, and the 7 children) in a station wagon driving from coast to coast. On one trip out West to California, we had been driving over 600 miles in one day already. Our destination was Flagstaff, Arizona for the evening. About ten minutes later, we saw a sign that said, FLAGSTAFF, 180 MILES.

All the kids moaned knowing we had another 3 hours in the car and pleaded for Dad to stop. But we all knew Dad's motto was to "Press On!" And press on we did. We made Flagstaff in under three hours. The next day, California.

Growing up, I butted heads with my father on plenty of occasions. We argued a lot. I felt I was right in my thoughts. Dad would always remind me to look at the big picture of life. Not just one moment in time. He explained that sometimes what may seem right and correct right now might not be the prudent course for the future. Dad was always right. It took many years to understand that his advice was always to benefit me in the long run. I find myself passing along the exact same advice and logic to my son. And at the age of 21, I believe he realizes my experience and advice benefits him.

Dad taught me to have faith, but not blindly believe. In both religion and politics. To love your family unconditionally, without exception. To help and offer charity, even when not asked. To respect the brave men and women in the military who have served and protected our country. To work hard, to know your job better than anyone else in the company. To listen what others have to say. To be a Vikings fan. To love God, pray hard. And to laugh out loud.

And he taught me to Press On.

An Irish Prayer
May those who love us, love us;
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
But if God doesn't turn their hearts,
May God turn their ankles.
So we'll know them by their limping.

Rest In Peace Father
Your Loving Son - Patrick

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The Stove Was The Next To Go

In my last appliance update, our refrigerator went on the blink and we had it replaced after a bizarre install. I mentioned that the stove would probably be the next appliance to go on the blink.  Turns out I was right. The stove was the next appliance to die. Using my flawed logic that since Sheely's Appliance and Furniture did a good job with the fridge, they would also do the same with a stove. I was wrong!

The stove had died and would no longer be the hiding place for my wife's birthday and Christmas gifts. Patty always asked me where I hid her presents and I told her in a place she would never think to look. (SMACK! That was Patty giving me a love tap) We went to Sheely's the next day.

We walked straight to the oven section and browsed around a bit. A very pleasant saleswoman asked if we needed any assistance. We answered yes and asked her several questions. Being satisfied with the oven and the price, we bought it and made arrangements for delivery.

Sheely's was on time for the delivery and the set up began all right. The delivery men unhooked the old stove and took it out to the truck and wheeled in the new one. I noticed there was a big scratch and a dent on the top left side of the stove. Since it wouldn't be seen once installed, I let the installation continue after pointing it out.

In a few minutes the stove was in place. The new gas line connected and everything was ready to go. The delivery man told me he was going to run some tests to make sure everything was working properly. He turned on the right side burners and they clicked on and fired up. He then turned on the left side burners on. In a second, the burner blew up sending the top part of the burner into the air. Flames came out that reached the ceiling of my kitchen. The flames almost caught the delivery man on fire.

He quickly turned the burner off. He then said that it was normal for the stove to do that after installation. I asked if perhaps the dent had something to do with it, maybe damaging the burner. Coincidence that the right side worked but the left side blew up where the dent was.

He said no and began packing up getting ready to leave. I stopped him and told him I didn't want the stove. It was clearly defective, and a fire hazard. He said I had to take it up with the sales department. He said they would have a service technician out in a couple of days to adjust the burners.

WTF, its broke and a fire hazard, and they want me to keep it in my kitchen for a few more days, possibly with gas buildup or leaks and wait for a technician to tell me the obvious that it is broken. Perhaps they were going to wait until my kitchen launched into space.

After several minutes of heated exchange, he disconnected the stove and brought my old one back in and reconnected it back up.

I called customer service and told them to shove it up their ass and to cancel my credit card payment. Sheeley's really dropped the ball here. The customer service agent sounded like a mindless automaton repeating her well rehearsed line. "I'm sorry sir that you were not satisfied with your purchase at Sheely's. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

That same day I went to Best Buy. They had the exact same stove and as a bonus, it was $100 less than Sheely's. They even had free delivery and set up. They came out the next day, removed the old one, brought in the new one, set it up, (This one had no scratches or dents) connected the gas line, lined it up, and tested it. All the burners worked perfectly. The delivery men were very friendly, very professional, and installed the stove in no time.

I do not think I will be shopping Sheeley's anytime soon.

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