Where Catholic Priests Go For Their Final Vows
Lets hope the Boy scouts Of America aren't camping at the next exit.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/30/2009
Halfway To Horny
Lets hope the Boy scouts Of America aren't camping at the next exit.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/29/2009
Hey Donkey
Usually, I know what hall the show is located in and the name of the company I will be assisting, the personnel in the booth, and the booth row and booth number. That wasn't the case for this show.
All I knew is the that it was located in the Nashville convention center and I was to be there Friday and Saturday. I asked my colleague how was I going to find where I needed to go.
He said he knew the first name of the contact, (Mike) but not the company name he was exhibiting under because they went under several names. However, he said I wouldn't have any problem finding the booth. He said to walk into the show and listen for a man that sounded like Shrek!
Shrek! WTF? I asked, "That's it! That's how I'm supposed to find the booth? By listening for a man that sounded like the Disney cartoon character Shrek?" He assured me that I would have no problem.
My flight to Nashville was uneventful and I checked into my hotel and went to find Shrek in the convention center. Thankfully, this trade show was a small one, only about 300 vendors and about 600 booths lined up in 10 rows. (Some shows have thousands of vendors and thousands of booths)
I decided to start at the first row and work my way around the show. I walked up the aisle slowly listening to the people talking hoping to hone in on the Shrek voice. No luck in row one. None in row two or three either. As I turned the corner of row four, I heard a man talking very loud. With an accent. A Scottish accent. I heard him say, "Hey donkey, that's not where that goes." A few seconds later I came face to face with Shrek. He was talking up a storm and he sounded exactly like Shrek. And looked a lot like him as well. A blockhead, big ogre type shoulders, tall, round stick out ears, just sans the green coloring. Give him a club and he could double as Shrek.
I started laughing out loud. Shrek, (Mike) turned around and stopped what he was doing for a moment and sized me up. He then said, "Oh, look at the funny man. Who are you supposed to be?" I told him I was Patrick and was here to help him. He said, "Oh, that's just great!" I told him, "Just don't call me donkey there Shrek!"
My colleague forgot to tell me that Mike (Shrek) didn't like to be compared to the cartoon character. Mike clammed up for a moment, gave me one of those upset looks that Shrek did and folded his arms and just stared at me. I couldn't help it. I said, "Hey look, it's Cameron Diaz!" (Princess Fiona, Shrek's love interest) All weekend long I called him Shrek. After a while, he got used to it.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/28/2009
Lost Update - Fly Like An Eagle
lost Update - Season V - 01/28/2009
Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin,
Into the future.
Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin,
Into the future.
I want to fly like an eagle to the sea.
Fly like an eagle, Let my spirit carry me.
I want to fly like an eagle till I'm free.
Oh, lord, through the revolution.
In the 1950's the United States military tested hydrogen bombs on deserted islands to measure radiation fallout, destruction, and half life of radiation. In 1969, a new TV drama series titled The New People debuted. It was written by Rod Serling, creator of the Twilight zone.
The premise of The New People series was…. A group of young American college students plane crash lands on a deserted island. The students are a diverse bunch, from every walk of life and every field of study. The New People find out that the island they are on is called Bomano island and is targeted as a nuclear bomb test island. The New People decide to form their own government in hopes of righting what was wrong in the real world. The unknown question was whether the United States would ever continue its tests and detonate a nuclear bomb on the island.
What the hell does this have to do with tonight's Lost episode? For the answer, we have to go back to the past. How befitting. In My Lost update from June of 2006 titled If I Could Turn Back Time, this storyline is discussed in greater detail. And now tonight, on Lost, it's happening all over again.
The year is 1954. Location, a mysterious island. The players, a group of diverse people on the island, the U.S. military, and a hydrogen bomb. Richard Alpert, leader of the "Others" reveals the hydrogen bomb testing alluding to the Rod Serling tie in. That was a major tie in and to me, a major clue of what is really happening on Lost and how my theory relates to tonight's episode.
Just what is my theory….. It lies somewhere in the fifth dimension.
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.
Tonight's episode continues with the time shifting arc as the island phased in and out of time. Penny is pregnant and giving birth. A moment later their child (Charlie) is 4 years old. On the island, the castaways are also time shifting and Locke is determined to put an end to it. He replies to Sawyer, if you've just been what I went through, you would ask when the hell have I been.
We also learn a little more about Chuck Widmore. He was one of the original others under Richard Alpert. He snapped the neck of his comrade when they were captured when he was going to reveal the location of their camp.
OK, I know, where the hell is the virtual reality theory tie in? Tonight, we're going to look at Charles Widmore. In the 1950's, he was a soldier under the command of Richard. Charles was a lowly grunt and in the future, he is a very powerful and wealthy man. Everything that he wasn't on the island.
Widmore's virtual reality experiment was a simple one. Gave a man of common means unlimited wealth and power and study the changes in personality. Charles now has two paths to choose from. The classic good and evil path. It would appear that Widmore chose the evil path and built an empire with influence over governments and feared by many. Unlike when he was on the island. Case in point: Richard gives Widmore a command and when he doesn't oby immeditaely, Richard smacks the gun away from Widmore and scolds him in front of the group.
For the Oceanic six that escaped the island and now have to return. At first, it appeared that they were getting everything they wanted. Jack and Kate together, Sun becoming a powerful woman, Hurley safe and comfortable, and Sayid hooking up with the love of his life that he was searching for 7 years.
Returning to the island is sort of like resetting a video game. Getting a new life. All the wounds being healed. New supplies. New personalities. Another chance. For the returning six, they will be reset and absorbed back into the virtual reality connection with new parameters for them.
And one more thing before we get to the tidbits. John Locke, literally a broken man off the island, has ascended to his ultimate dream. He is the leader of his people. And that's all he ever wanted. Respect!
Tidbits from tonight's episode:
*The others were taught Latin to communicate in private. Latin is a dead language.
*Daniel Faraday's research was funded by Charles Widmore.
*The hydrogen bomb's name was Jughead, the title of tonight's episode.
*Richard is really old. He's always been on the island.
*The U.S. military have been involved with the Lost island since at least 1954.
Until next week, Get Lost!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Consequences Not Wearing Thought Screen Helmet
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| Consequences Of Not Wearing A thought Screen Helmel |
Don't let this happen to you!!!
Make sure your thought screen helmet is properly constructed.
Do not skimp on the magical 3M velostat cloth.
Make sure your helmet covers your entire dome.
Wear it at all times.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/27/2009
A Clockwork Orange Remake
I spied these two men riding the Ober Gatlinburg ski lift. My wife Patty told me to take their picture. So I did. A moment later, it reminded me of the characters in the Stanley Kubrick film, A Clockwork Orange. We laughed like idiots the rest of the way down the lift.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/25/2009
Carrabba’s Italian Restaurant – Chicken Parmesan
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| Carrabba's Italian Grill |
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| House Salad |
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| Carrabba's Chicken Parmigiana |
The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 2.5 out of 5 shots and barely recommends Carrabba's Italian Restaurant for dinner.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/22/2009
Lost Update - I Am A Believer
Lost Update - Season V - 01/22/2009
I'm A Believer
Then I saw her face,
Now I'm a believer,
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.
Then I saw her face,
Now I'm a believer,
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I'm in love, I'm a believer!
I couldn't leave her if I tried.
Season five of LOST opened with a close up of an alarm clock showing the time at 8:14, which of course is two of the famous and mysterious LOST numbers. The next instant, it flipped to 8:15 and season five was in full stride. No close up eyeball this time.
The sky flashed, a bright white light, disorientation, and Oceanic's crashed plane is no longer on the beach. The entire camp is gone. Daniel Faraday, resident egghead, states that the island is dislodged in time. Does this sound familiar? Of course it does. It smacks right into my theory.
Just what is my theory….. I told you in the past, and also the future. Now it's time for the present.
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.
In the Lost pilot, Jack muttered, "How did we get here." He also said it last night when talking to Ben as they were taking Locke out of the funeral home. What is the significance of this. Plenty Lost fans. Plenty.
I was watching my son play Xbox 360 the other night. The game he was playing was Left 4 Dead. After he played for awhile, going from level to level, his power energy went low and he lost the game. I then noticed he simply reset the game, changed the parameters of the game, from easy to medium to hard and also changed the characters in the game. Patrick (My son) had to start from scratch. He had to retrieve new guns, new medicines, and supplies and start from the beginning.
That is exactly what happened on Lost last night. The virtual reality experiment was reset. The parameters of the experiment were reset. The characters were reset. Ready to begin anew. The camp and all the possessions were gone. The supplies were gone. The guns were gone. Even new characters were introduced. Now, everyone gets another chance to play the game. To get it right this time.
I noticed last night that the parameters of the show have changed. Personalities have changed. Wouldn't it be a kick if when they all reunited on the island that each persons role changed.
As in Jack, instead of the doctor and a take charge hero in season one, is now Charlie, the drug addict. Remember what Ben told Jack when he left the hotel room. He told Jack to pack a suitcase and fill it with everything he needs and can't live without because he will not be coming back. What do you want to bet he packs a suitcase full of his pills. Just like Charlie.
Or Sawyer, the grifter and con man now turns into the hero and leader. At the beginning, Sawyer was out for himself. He horded the guns, food, medicine. In season five, he takes charge of the castaways after the flash of light, (Reset) and has become the new leader. And tell me if I'm wrong here, but Sawyer and Juliet have a heavy vibe going on.
Or, Sun the battered wife fleeing her husband to start a new life will become the strong independent on the island, possibly even a murderer, taking the role played by Kate.
Speaking of Kate. She becomes the docile type. Protector of her child.
And the kicker. Ben Linus, the feared (Other) the mean bastard out to kill all the castaways before, now turns into the good guy.
What about Locke? John Locke has two paths. A wild card for sure. He either stays constant, much like Richard Alpert, or he assumes the role of Ben and slowly turns into a monster.
Continuing with the virtual reality reset theory. Perhaps all the virtual reality scenario's (Experiments) are running simultaneously and are intersecting with one another. Files corrupted, wires crossed. Hence, Richard coming to Locke in the past after he was shot and giving him what he needs. Or Ethan finding Locke. Or Desmond still in the hatch. Or the castaways seeing the hatch blown to smithereens and the next moment the hatch is still intact. Or the time flashing from daytime to nighttime and back again. When that happens, what do you do? That's right! Reset the game.
Season five has reset the game for the Lost survivors. In this new virtual reality experiment, (Game) lets see who becomes the alpha, the good, the evil, the love interests, and the challenges.
Tidbits to watch unfold in season five.
We learn a little about the old fashioned movies found in the Dharma stations. Dr. Marvin Kandell (Candle) lives on the island. The reason he is there. To harness an unlimited energy source that can manipulate time.
Sayid warns Hurley, "Whatever Ben says for you to do, do the opposite. Ben always lies. Now thats a constant.
Ana Lucia, kicked off the show a season ago for being arrested for DUI, interacts with Hurley. She is dressed as a cop and gives Hurley some good advice. "Stay away from the police and don't get arrested." That was a great pun.
Daniel Faraday tells Sawyer that no matter how hard they try, they cannot change the events of the past or future. And then what does he do, he changes events by contacting Desmond.
Soldiers capture sawyer and Juliet. His name tag says Jones. He asks Sawyer and Kate, "What are you doing on our island."
I must say whoever believes that my theory is far fetched, replay what Hurley told his mother last night. (The plane crashed, we survived. Then a smoke monster attacked us. And a polar bear. And dead people walking around. And then the others tried to kill us. But we killed them, and then joined up with them to fight some others. And then the chopper landed and tried to fly us to the freighter that found us, but the freighter blew up and we returned to the island, but the island disappeared and Sayid killed a lot of people for Ben, and now we have to go back.) Virtual reality doesn't sound to far fetched now does it?
BTW, Libby Says hello.
Until next week, Get Lost!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/20/2009
Thought Screen Helmet Companion
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| Pam Andersons Obama Inaugural Ball Date |
Thought Screen Helmet Companions. Just in time for president elect Barack Obama's inauguration.
Don't let evil aliens that are controlling your thoughts put a damper on your inauguration plans. The rocket scientists at the secret Grassy Knoll Institute laboratory have created the thought screen helmet companion so you can attend the inauguration in style.
Pamela Anderson, iconic sex goddess swears by her thought screen helmet buddy. It allows her to go helmet free and attend Hollywood events and the Barack Obama inauguration and all the balls afterward. (And of course, no animals were harmed in the production of the thought screen helmet companion.)
But how does it work?
Good question. The thought screen helmet companion is stuffed with advanced technology to eliminate alien abduction. The companion works so well that not a single person using the companion has been abducted. 100% effective. Now that is a testimonial.
The companion is a full bodied mannequin lined with velostat, a magical material that blocks alien telepathic signals to the potential abductee. The companion senses the telepathic signal and intercepts and filters them before they reach its target. The companion comes in two styles, male or female and can be accessorized for any event. Mission accomplished.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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