4/01/2017
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
Washington - Capital Hill - April 1st, 2017:
This morning President Trump signed into law his new huge (Pronounced yuge) affordable health care act once and for all abolishing the former act known as Obama-Care. Trump stated the heath care system has been fixed and every American citizen will have insurance.
Pay no attention to Speaker of the house Paul Ryan (AKA The Harbinger Of Death) shaking hands as he walks out of the Washington DC Capital building with his pants on fire.
LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Patient Zero Thought Screen Helmet Alien Abduction
It is a well established fact that aliens from another galaxy have been visiting Earth for over two millennium now. However, this is the first year that a government has finally acknowledged that an alien race is present and controlling human beings.President Trumps newly appointed Secretary Of Space Exploration, Andrew Cornhusker has been tasked to document and record all abductions. Cornhuskers first act of business was to establish documented time lines of abductions and to find the earliest recorded abduction.
The first file showing promise for patient zero was the mysterious case of George Tookie from Pine Bluff, Arkansas. The hospital report dated April 1st, 1955 had the following interview and account of the strange and bizarre behavior by Mr. Tookie.
Three men not wishing to be identified claim they witnessed the following acts over several days of visiting Tookie's farm.
Day One:
The three men drove up to Mr. Tookie's farm to ask for his assistance on planting several acres on their adjacent farmland. They found Mr. Tookie outside his house aimlessly walking in circles at the side of his barn. The men could hear him talking to himself. He seemed to be carrying on a conversation with several people at the same time. The men could make out bits and pieces of the conversation but do not understand the context. They heard Tookie say the word velestat, and helmet, 10 years of hiding, and thought screen. They did hear one complete sentence from Tookie, "As instructed, for the past ten years, I have never removed this thought screen helmet from my head and still I can hear them talking to me."
When Tookie noticed the men standing around him, he straightened up and stopped mumbling and told the men that he wasn't feeling well that day and to come back again tomorrow or the next. The men agreed and left.
Day Two: Several days later, the same three men returned to Tookie's farm to ask for the same assistance on their farm. This time, the men found Tookie repeatedly slamming the crown of his head against the barn wall. All the while he was yelling, "No, I will never remove my helmet." The men looked around and found no other people there and assumed Tookie had gone mad.
Seeing how hard Tookie was throwing himself against the barn wall, the men restrained him and attempted to calm him down. He would not listen to reason, almost as if someone, or something was controlling him from a stealthy vantage point.
Finally, to avoid Tookie doing any more harm to himself, the men forced him into their car and drove him to the local hospital.
They explained the situation to the attending doctor and the doctor admitted Tookie to a private room. He was sedated and begrudgingly fell asleep still ranting and raving about not controlling him and never removing his helmet.
With Tookie sedated, the doctor examined him more closely. He found that the hat he was wearing appeared to be glued to his scalp and was so tight it was cutting off the circulation to his brain. The doctor deduced that Tookie's delusions were the cause of the hat being to tight.
While still under heavy sedation, the doctor removed the hat carefully having to cut Tookie's hair in the process and using solvents to lesson the grip on the hat on his skin.
Thirty minutes later, the hat was removed and the doctor found it to be in good condition less one tiny pin hole crack in the black lining.
The doctor hooked an IV into Tookie's arm and informed the nurse on duty to check in on him every several hours and to administer the sedative to keep him asleep until morning. The nurse confirmed her orders and the doctor went on to his other duties.
Early in the morning, the nurse on her final rounds of her shift checked in on Mr. Tookie. The bed was empty. Tookie was gone.
The police were called and a hunt for George Tookie began. The first places they searched for him was his farm, the stores and businesses he frequented, and then the people he associated with. He was never found to this day.
Perhaps that tiny tear in Mr. Tookie's hat (Thought Screen Helmet) allowed the evil race of telepathic aliens to gain a little control. But Tookie fought it, did not listen to the aliens telepathic suggestions. Tookie may have paid for his life not adhering to the aliens commands.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
How Old Is Shannon Tweed
Kiss rock star legend Gene Simmons sitting in the shade admiring the view thinking to himself, How old is Shannon Tweed again?
LURKING, JUST KIDDING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Curse Of Oak Island Treasure Recovered
Oak Island is a small island located off the coast of Nova Scotia, Canada. legend has it that buried treasure lies beneath the sand someone on the island. Fortune hunters have been pursuing said treasure for over 200 years now.
Most recently the Lagina brothers Rick and Marty purchased the island and began actively searching for the treasure. The island myth and mystery is so great that the History channel had a four year long television series filming the search of the Lagina brothers. Speculation is far fetched, from the treasure being the Ark of the Covenant, to the Azteks gold, to English and French spoils of war gold and silver and insert any and all other treasures one seeks. So far, nothing significant has been found. Until this weekend...
On Friday morning Marty Lagina was shallow digging at what they refer to as the 10-X site and uncovered a steel canister roughly eight feet deep in the soil. He immediately called his brother Rick so they could both open the box together. When Rick arrived, the box was unearthed and brought into the conference room on the island. A welders torch was needed to remove the braces holding the box together. it was air and water tight.
As both brothers slowly lifted the lid they spied another metal cylinder inside. Upon inspection, inside the cylinder appeared to be old 8 milimeter film reels. They immediately called best friend and partner Craig Tester to find a projector and bring it to the island pronto.
The projector was set up and an old white table cloth was used as the screen as Marty delicately loaded the first reel onto the projector. The film only lasted four total minutes but what the three men saw on the screen was shocking. It was not the location of the fabled money pit on the island, nor was it the proverbial "X" marks the spot where the treasure is buried but positive evidence of a 50 plus year conspiracy haunting the American public.
The film was shot in 1963, November 22nd, and it was filmed from behind the infamous grassy knoll. The film clearly shows two men in dark suits with rifles in their hands aiming towards the street. Seconds later a shot is fired and both men in the suits quickly disengage from the scene and walk toward the train yard only 50 feet away.
Attached to the canister casings was a note. It was a confession. The confession stated that these two men were hired to ensure if Oswald had missed that they would complete the assassination. They were hired by....
Richard Nixon.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2017
Happy St Patricks Day 2017
Happy St. Patricks Day 2017 from all of us at the Grassy Knoll Institute.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Please remember to tip your waitress (And not to take any wooden nickels is not a tip) and be respectful towards these hard working women. After all, they are working while we are enjoying the St. Patricks Day festivities.
The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight.(They will after 2am anyway)
Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/16/2017
Saint Patricks Day Sweater Ettiquette
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| Happy Saint Patricks Day |
Laci Kay Somers, an Instagram sensation. Check out her link here LaciKaySomers
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/15/2017
Best Irish Bikini 2017
Winner of the 2017 Grassy Knoll Institute Best Irish Green Bikini is none other than the sensation from down under, Elyse Knowles. Check out Ms. Knowles Instagram page for her amazing modeling shoots and her candid behind the scenes pictures.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/13/2017
It Rains In Ireland - A Lot - Be Prepared
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| Be Prepared For Inclement Weather In Ireland |
Visit Megan Thomas at her instagram page for more weather alerts and pictures.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/11/2017
Use Caution Asking For Irish Directions
Asking For Directions In Ireland.
If you find yourself lost on the Emerald Island be very cautious when approaching the locals and asking them for directions.
Example:
A lost tourist walks up to Pat and politely asks him, "Excuse me sir, what is the quickest way to Dublin?"
Pat stops what he is doing and replies, "Will ye be on foot or in the car?"
The tourist says, "In the car!"
Pat smirks and says, "That be the quickest way!!!"
Happy St. Patricks Day
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
If you find yourself lost on the Emerald Island be very cautious when approaching the locals and asking them for directions.
Example:
A lost tourist walks up to Pat and politely asks him, "Excuse me sir, what is the quickest way to Dublin?"
Pat stops what he is doing and replies, "Will ye be on foot or in the car?"
The tourist says, "In the car!"
Pat smirks and says, "That be the quickest way!!!"
Happy St. Patricks Day
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/09/2017
Karen Gillan - St. Patricks Day Sci Fi Sexy Siren
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| Karen Gillan - St. Patricks Day Sexy Siren |
First for the St. Patricks Day category: Gorgeous 29 year old Karen Gillan is the very tall (5 foot 11 inches) winner of the sexiest redhead for 2017. The black leather catsuit and provocative pose helped things along quite nicely.
Secondly, Karen Killan lands a spot on the Sexy Sirens page for multiple reasons. Karen was the companion for several season on the hit BBC television series Doctor Who? As if that was not enough, Karen appeared in the movie remake, Jumanji, and starred in The Circle, Oculus, and Guardians Of The Galaxy 2. She is also currently filming Avengers Infinity Wars.
Visit Karen Gillans Instagram Page for more info and pictures
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.
Lurking On The Grassy Knoll
3/07/2017
How To Properly Speak With An Irish Accent
Don't you just love the Irish and how and they speak. Especially the acent and the way words just roll off their tongue.
Well, the Grassy Knoll Institute has devised a lesson to teach anyone how to speak in an Irish accent.
It is very simple, just follow the steps below. Begin with saying the four words below with a slight pause between each word. This will allow your brain to adjust the signals it will send to your tongue. After repeating the four words twice, you can now pick up your pace saying the words faster and faster. You will be speaking with an Irish accent in no time at all.
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Well, the Grassy Knoll Institute has devised a lesson to teach anyone how to speak in an Irish accent.
It is very simple, just follow the steps below. Begin with saying the four words below with a slight pause between each word. This will allow your brain to adjust the signals it will send to your tongue. After repeating the four words twice, you can now pick up your pace saying the words faster and faster. You will be speaking with an Irish accent in no time at all.
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/05/2017
With Great Boobs Comes Great Responsibility
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| Abigail Ratchford |
In Gumby's dream he found himself in Chicago on St. Patricks Day. Apparently Gumby is a well respected photographer and was hired to do a photo shoot of famous personalities on the social media platform InstaGram. As Gumby is setting up his lighting and camera equipment in walks Abigail Ratchford and introduces herself to Gumby. Abigail strips down to her first clothing change and steps in front of the camera.
Anyway, the dream did not go any farther as Gumby woke up.
My interpretation o this dream is simple. With great boobs comes great responsibility.
You can find out more information and view Abigail Ratchfords Instagram Page Here
Happy St. Patricks Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2017
Zombie Apocalypse Begins Today
The Zombie Apocalypse Begins Today!
It has been established that persons who have recently become inebriated have become the life of the party and committing acts of fornication.
A widespread investigation of bars, taverns, pubs, and popular social clubs has concluded that the inebriated party goers have been reappearing and seeking human companionship. It's hard for us here to be reporting this to you, but it does seem to be a fact.
Happy St. Patricks Day Barbara!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
It has been established that persons who have recently become inebriated have become the life of the party and committing acts of fornication.
A widespread investigation of bars, taverns, pubs, and popular social clubs has concluded that the inebriated party goers have been reappearing and seeking human companionship. It's hard for us here to be reporting this to you, but it does seem to be a fact.
Happy St. Patricks Day Barbara!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/01/2017
McWhiskey - Irish Humor
An Irishman walks into a McDonalds fast food restaurant and goes to order at the counter.
The McDonalds employee greets him and asks, "May I take your order please?"
The Irishman says, "A whiskey please."
The McDonalds counter employee replies, "I am sorry sir, but this is a McDonalds!"
The Irishman ponders for a moment and replies back, "Okay, then may I have a McWhiskey please?"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
The McDonalds employee greets him and asks, "May I take your order please?"
The Irishman says, "A whiskey please."
The McDonalds counter employee replies, "I am sorry sir, but this is a McDonalds!"
The Irishman ponders for a moment and replies back, "Okay, then may I have a McWhiskey please?"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
2/28/2017
Ober Gatlinburg Ski Mountain Coaster
When in Gatlinburg, you must take time to visit Ober Gatlinburgs Ski Mountain Coaster. You can access Ober via Ski Mountain Road with your car (Parking at the top is $5 dollars for all day) or you can take the Sky Tram ($15 per person) located on the Parkway.
The coaster is of course settled along the mountain. It is an easy walk to the ticket booth. The cost per ride is $15 dollars. Three rides (Same rider) is $36 dollars.
Cash and credit cards are accepted as payment.
Once paid, we walked through a small souvenir and snack shop and up the steps to the coaster. The lines were not long at all.
When it was our turn, we got into the sleds, strapped in, and waited for instructions from the employee working there. Instructions were printed on the walls on the side and in front. The employee simply reiterated the rules.
When given the signal, you press down on both handles of your sled and away you go.
Tip; On the trek up the mountain, you do not have to hold the handles down. Your sled is attached to a cable that pulls you to the top of the mountain.
The sled course winds slowly upward to the top, it takes about 5 minutes or so to get there. As the sled reaches the pinnacle a sign informs you to press both handles all the way down to allow the sled to go.
And wow do you go. The sled is attached to a steel rail system, and it cannot come detached from the rail. Seconds after you push the handles the hills become steep and the sled zooms around wicked turns and vicious curves. The coaster does have hills, but more like humps as it propels itself down the mountain slope.
I swear it feels like you are going 60 miles per hour but I think it is only 30 miler per hour or so.
At the end of the ride a sign informs you to slow down by lifting the handles slightly and you coast into the station. You unstrap and step out.
As you exit, you can purchase a picture taken of you during the coaster ride. Its $15 dollars but other sizes and packages are available.
Total ride time about 7 minutes. Total thrill time just under two minutes.
I rate this at 4.5-5 instead of 5-5 because of the cost. It like the hill, is steep. It would be nice if Ober could somehow incorporate this ride with the rest of the amusement area to make it more affordable. Ober offers an all day ride pass for the Chair lift, Alpine Sled, mirror maze, Blue Typhoon, and the other rides and attractions but you must pay seperately for the Ski Coaster.


LURKING AND HANGING ON TO THE GRASSY KNOLL
2/14/2017
Alice Eve Sci-Fi Sexy Siren
Alice Eve, 34 years young actress was born in London, Englang. Eve is not just another pretty actress. She has a multitude of movies and series to her credit but we are interested in the Science Fiction and horror genre she has starred in.
Her feature roles include Men In Black 3 and Night At The Museum. The role she is most recognized is the portrayal of Doctor Carol Marcus in the rebooted Star Trek francise. She is the love interest of Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek Into Darkness. (Thats Alice pictured debating with Kirk in a pivotal scene)
Alice Eve is also featured in a 2017 science fiction thriller titled Replica's. For more visit Alice's Instagram Page.
Her feature roles include Men In Black 3 and Night At The Museum. The role she is most recognized is the portrayal of Doctor Carol Marcus in the rebooted Star Trek francise. She is the love interest of Captain James T. Kirk in Star Trek Into Darkness. (Thats Alice pictured debating with Kirk in a pivotal scene)
Alice Eve is also featured in a 2017 science fiction thriller titled Replica's. For more visit Alice's Instagram Page.
Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.
Lurking On The Grassy Knoll
2/03/2017
Eddies Grill - Pizza
14 weeks until Geneva On The Lake awakens from its winter slumber and the shops open for business. Always our first order of business is to eat at Eddie's Grill on the strip. Eddie’s Grill is a favorite summer spot famous for it’s burgers, hot dogs, and fries all served in an old fashioned sock hop diner atmosphere. Eddie’s also serves a great pizza just like the one pictured.
We placed our order and received a call number and was told it would be about 10 minutes. The timing was just about perfect and we took the pizza and found ourselves a booth inside Eddie’s.
The large plain cheese pizza cost $10.00 and was very well cooked. The crust was crunchy, the cheese melted but not burned, and the sauce zesty. Each slice was cut all the way through for easy separation of each slice. And it tasted great.
The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4.5 shots out of 5 and recommends Eddie’s Grill pizza for dinner.
We placed our order and received a call number and was told it would be about 10 minutes. The timing was just about perfect and we took the pizza and found ourselves a booth inside Eddie’s.
The large plain cheese pizza cost $10.00 and was very well cooked. The crust was crunchy, the cheese melted but not burned, and the sauce zesty. Each slice was cut all the way through for easy separation of each slice. And it tasted great.
The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4.5 shots out of 5 and recommends Eddie’s Grill pizza for dinner.
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