Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts

12/02/2009

Lost Update - Island Of Misfit Toys


Lost Update – Prelude To Season Six – 12/25/2009
It’s Christmas day and instead of dreaming of sugar plums dancing in my head, I’m thinking about season six of ABC Lost. In particularly, how similar Lost is to the 1964 animated Christmas special, Rudolph The Red nosed Reindeer, but more exact, to the Island Of Misfit Toys.
Let me explain…..
island of misfit toys from rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Misfit Island
Lost takes place on a mysterious island inhabited by outlandish people where everyone on the island seems to be an outsider, one that doesn’t fit in well within society. Misfit Island is a mysterious secluded island home to misfit toys, toys that just don’t seem to fit in to society.
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bumbles bouncs, the abominable snowman
Bumbles Bounce
The Lost island is inhabited by a ferocious monster that pops up and terrorizes the inhabitants. They call it the Smoke Monster. There are secrets that certain people know about the monster and are somehow able to control it. Misfit island also has a ferocious monster. They call it The Bumble. And Yukon Cornelius knows that Bumbles bounce and knows how to control it. They ain’t nothing without their choppers.
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Guns On Lost
On Lost, there are plenty of guns on the island. Sawyer has a suitcase of guns. Kate has guns. Jack has guns. The others have guns. The other others have guns. On Misfit island, one of the toys is a gun. A significance that a gun played a prominent character on Misfit island.
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Boat That Don't Float
On the Lost island, there was a freighter that brought the evil others to the island. The boat sank. Also, John Locke sunk the submarine stationed on the island. Desmond’s boat ran aground on the island. All the boats seem to sink on the Lost island. Misfit island also has a boat, and guess what, it doesn’t float either. Coincidence? I think not!
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Misfit Campfire
On Lost, the central point was the camp the castaways gathered around. From the pilot episode when the castaways were around the camp fire and the smoke monster made it’s first appearance, to the others cabins community. Misfit island also had a camp fire site that was the focal point.
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King Moonraiser
Moving on, the Lost island has a mysterious powerful entity that runs the lives of the castaways and the others. People call him Jacob, who lives in the old Egyptian style ruins. on Misfit island, the broken toys are governed by King Moonraiser, a mysterious flying lion that lives in a castle that looks very similar to an Egyptian palace.
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Misfit Castle
This is King Moonraiser and the throne he sits on governing over all the misfit toys. He goes out searching the world every night and brings back toys that have been abandoned and not loved anymore. On Lost, Jacob has also visited people and apparently brought them back to the island. All the people on the island seem to be broken and unloved.
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Dr. Jack Sheppard
Meet Herbie, misfit, dentist. He moonlights making toys in Christmas town. The head elf is always on his case telling him how inadequate he is and that he is not up to standard with all the other elves. On Lost, Herbie is Jack Sheppard. The surgeon is in his fathers domineering shadow. Somehow Jack doesn’t fit in and wants to start fresh.
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Christian Sheppard
Although he doesn’t look anything like Christian Sheppard, the head elf of Christmas town is a lot like him. One can only speculate if the head elf liked to tip a few back during work hours, but we do know he had a change of heart towards Herbie and even opened up to him, just like Christian did with Jack.
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Sawyer - James
On Lost Sawyer is the bad boy and the comic relief of the show. Everyone calls him Sawyer but his real name is James. On Misfit island, Charlie, the “Charlie In The Box” was mistaken for a jack In the Box. Just his mere physical appearance makes him the comic relief.
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Kate Austin
On Lost, Kate is a woman being brought back to justice in handcuffs. She alienated herself from everyone in her life. No one loved her anymore. Misfit island has Dollie, who looks a lot like Kate, and all she wants to be is loved again.
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Hurley
On lost, Hurley, an over weight luckiest unluckiest person on the planet just wanted to get away and have a simple existence. I’m just saying that the pink elephant reminds me of Hurley. A lot!
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Yukon
Misfit island has Yukon Cornelius, prospector, miner, authority figure, and controller of the Bumble. No one knows how he go there but he seems to know the lay of the land. On Lost, John Locke knows how to control the smoke monster, knows the way of the Lost island, and is an authority figure on the island.
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Lost Season Six
So there it is. ABC Lost is about a group of misfits stranded on a deserted island where supernatural things occur. Each character just wants to be loved again and have a normal life. Misfit island is a place inhabited by broken unloved toys governed by a supernatural flying lion. all the toys want is to get off the island and be loved again.
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Merry Christmas Lost Fans.


LURKING, NOT REALLY LOST, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Lost Update – Island Of Misfit Toys”


  1. Lost Forever said

    Your lost site never ceases to amaze me. You took a 1960s cartoon and turned it into a lost parody. And what amazes me is that its believeable. LOL. One year of Lost left, 16 episodes. Cant wait for the end.

    • LOTGK said

      A smidgen of truth always makes the tale more believable.
      Also, I just watched the Star Trek 11 DVD last night, and in the added bonus features, J.J. Abrams offered up that Rod serling’s Twilight Zone was his favorite television show growing up.
      So perhaps I am correct when i say that Lost is based on the Zone. We shall see.

      • N.Y. Nick said

        LOTGK- i thought i told you before, i might be remembering a post i made somewhere else, but you are correct about your “Twilight Zone” theory! I still give you the credit you deserve for being able to see the parrallels on your own, and articulate them on many levels. Not only did you make comparisons of “Lost” to the overall concept of “Twilight Zone” as a whole series, you broke down different episodes and how the detals of that particular episode connected to “Lost” , wether the connection was which characters represent which characters on lost, or a certian phenomenom in a episode will compare whats happening on “Lost”. You also compare particular “Twilight Zone” episodes to the overall concept of “Lost” as a whole series.
        With that said, from the very begining it was a show meant to be “Twilight Zone” meets “Survivor”! JJ Abrahms, Damon Lindeloff, Carlton Cuse, and many more writers/producers never kept that a secret from square one. The people who bring us “Lost” are extremely well read and intelligent intelectuals who got ideas for “Lost” from many differnt books, movies, mythology etc… Anytime you see a book or a reference to pop culture there is a reason. Even though they got ideas from many sources, the main concept of “Lost” is from “Twilight Zone”
        I want to read all the books that are seen or talked about in “Lost”. They show them for a reason!

        • LOTGK said

          My very first Lost update mentions a Twilight Zone feel for the show, way before any websites and blogs popped up with every theory under the sun.
          I still stand by my theory. We’ll know in May.

  2. Fracas said

    Hope you had a Happy Christmas!

    • LOTGK said

      Yes we did, thank you.
      I hope you did as well and hope for the new year to bring you joy, happiness, health, and twice as many comments as 2009. :D

  3. Max Jackl said

    Whats going to happen if you turn out to be correct.
    When worlds collide.

  4. Flip Across said

    This is genius. Hilarious. Insightful. Thanks. Happy holidays to you as well misfit island toys.

  5. Dee said

    CANT WAIT 4 LOST AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Becky M said

    I just love this show. Rudolph, not Lost. The bumble is so cute without his teeth. I have the stuff doll of him.

  7. Anti-Christ said

    You got it all wrong. Misfit Island is not associated at all with Lost. Its a picture of Purgatory, where all people stop on their journey to either heaven or Hell. Rudolph is a bitch.

  8. Jones Bones said

    Man, you are way out in left field. Funny though but weird funny.

11/27/2009

Black Friday Thought Screen Helmet

thought-screen-helmet-black-friday
Black Friday Thought Screen Helmet
Black Friday is a good day for aliens to abduct you. Be prepared!
For being a bad man, and not following the instructions causing the construction of an improper thought screen helmet, Billy banished Ned to the cornfield for good.

Disclaimer: Don't let what happened to Ned happen to you. Your lifestyle and job does not have to suffer from the fear of alien abduction. You can learn how to construct your very own authentic thought screen helmet lined with velostat (A magical material that cancels telepathic emissions) that will effectively eliminate 100% of the telepathic transmissions from the aliens attempting to control your thoughts. Don't be wished out to the corn field. Act today!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/26/2009

Happy Thanksgiving From The Grassy Knoll

thanksgiving-catered-by-the-three-stooges
Happy Thanksgiving From The Knuckleheads Of The Grassy Knoll Institute

Happy Thanksgiving

From The Knuckleheads Of The Grassy Knoll Institute

Any brave souls venturing out on Black Friday, the kick-off of the Christmas retail season tomorrow?


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

6/21/2009

Christmas In July Leg Lamp

leg-lamp-from-a-christmas-story
Christmas In July
At the March Las Vegas ASD show, I happened upon a booth selling the infamous "Leg Lamp," from the classic movie, A Christmas Story. I had to have the Leg lamp. After a small negotiation, I bought two of them, one the full sized one pictured here and a 24 inch lamp that is in my office.

The Leg Lamp pictured is 40 inches tall, and to my knowledge, is an exact replica of the one featured in the movie right down to the fishnet stockings, fancy strings hanging from the shade, and I believe I detected just a whiff of ozone when I plugged it into the wall outlet.

It was Electric Sex at it's finest. And yes, it will be displayed in our upstairs window at Christmas.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



12/06/2008

Electric Socks And Christmas Trees


christmas-tree-horror-tale
Christmas Tree Horror Tale
Before I became the curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute, one of my odd jobs was selling "Live" Christmas trees. (I don't know why thy called them "Live" since their trunks were all unceremoniously lopped off and the tree tossed into a truck. At that point, the tree was dead)

Anyway, I believe it was the winter of 1986 or 87 and I found myself volunteered (Victim) from corporate to help Bobby and Mac sell three thousand fresh cut Christmas trees on route 224 in Boardman. Back then, there were still open lots on 224 (The busiest highway in Boardman) with green fields. And of course it was Fucking freezing out with about a foot of snow on the ground. (Typical Boardman, Ohio Winter climate)
zero-zone-suit
Zero Zone Suit
I had one day to prepare for the hazards of working outside in cold conditions. I dug out my zero zone suit, (A very warm coverall that zipped up) my insulated boots, and thick electric socks. (Yes, electric socks, batteries sent a current into a mesh weave through the sock keeping them warm)

Being the good soldier I arrived on time for my shift. It was late afternoon, and I knew that I would be stuck in a freezing cold field with dead Christmas trees lying around so I stopped at Arby's for dinner. I pulled in the tree lot and parked my Jeep and jumped out.

Welcome to my Christmas tree universe. An open field, hundreds of Christmas trees scattered on the ground still in their protective wrapping, cheesy lights and pennants, plus a white step van that had to be a hundred years old. This is where I would spend the next 6 hours or so.

I opened the sliding door to the step van letting the blizzard in that was raging outside. Looking inside I found Bobby and Mac huddled around a pot bellied stove. They looked like two hobo's on the side of railroad tracks cooking pork and beans. And yes, they were cooking baked beans in the pot.

Bobby looked up, hunger and cold in his eyes, noticed my Arby's roast beef sandwiches, then looked back at the beans in the pot. At that moment, I feared for my life. (It was like Thunderdome now. Two men enter, one man leaves. The rules are, there ain't no rules) I quickly ate my sandwiches as I made nonsense chit chat. Mac didn't move. He just huddled around the stove that was giving off the only heat in a quarter square mile radius.

Bob and Mac then showed me the ropes. Reluctantly we left the step van to brave the cold weather. They marched me around the lot, (Universe) showing me the rope spool, (To tie down the trees we sold to the cars of the customers) the Christmas tree stands that went with the trees, and of course rows and rows of neatly stacked Christmas trees.

Each tree had a colored tag with a price on it according to size and type of tree. Type of tree? WTF was that? Apparently there were many different varieties. There were Blue Spruce, Douglas Fir, White Pine, Scotch Pine, Fraser Fir, Balsam, Noble, and Grand Fir. I was under the impression they were all just green pine trees. (Who knew?) The tour was over and Bob and Mac raced back to the shelter of the step van and the pot bellied stove.

As fate would have it, I didn't sell a single tree that day. Nor the next. Or the next. Bob and Mac sold a few here and there but not me. I did help Mac strap and tie a few trees to the roof of customers cars. One fell off before he got off the lot.

At the end of the day Bob said his feet were freezing and couldn't get them warm standing out in the snow all day. I didn't have the heart to tell him about my electric socks.

Merry Christmas! And buy an artificial tree this year.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/27/2008

A Line In The Sand


a-line-in-the-sand
A Line In The Sand
Today is the day after Thanksgiving otherwise known as black Friday. It's the official kickoff to the Christmas shopping season. Charlie Brown had it right when he said Christmas has become to commercialized.

I'd much rather be on the beach.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



3/08/2008

Triple Dog Dare

Triple Dog Dared!
Great Christmas gift. Really slow in adding it to the Institute, but I am committed to getting everything up to date. (Someday anyway!) Make sure your speakers are turned up. (No, a scary monster won't jump out at you. It's just so you can hear the dialog.) Enjoy.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

2/26/2008

Triple Dog Dared

triple dog dare christmas story
Triple Dog Dare
Apparently Inga never watched the classic holiday film, A Christmas Story. Otherwise, she would have known what happens when she sticks her tongue onto a pole.

Perhaps Inga was Triple dogged Dared much like Flick was in the movie and couldn't resist the challenge.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/26/2007

Top 10 Christmas Programs

The Essential Christmas Programs Must See List

Each year, hundreds of Christmas movies and television programs air during the holiday season. (Thanksgiving through the first of the year) Some are worth viewing, some not so much, and some are essential viewing creating the holiday tradition as the family sits around the tube and watches certain shows over and over every year. The following is the Grassy Knoll Institutes essential list of the top 10 Christmas shows.

It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
George Bailey, the richest man in town, in love not money. After defaulting on a bank transaction loan, George wishes he were never born setting off a chain of events that he witnesses through the eyes of his guardian angel. (Jimmy Stewart Stars)

A Christmas Story (1983)
Set in the 1940's in Indiana, Ralphie, a ten year old boy wants a Red rider BB gun for Christmas and tries to convince his parents to get it for him. A great depiction of American life in the 1940's. Love the Leg Lamp, (Electric Sex) the Pink Nightmare bunny suit, Not A Finger, Triple Dog Dare, Fra..gil...e, A Major award, and You'll shoot your eye out. And, putting your tongue on a cold metal pole will stick. Trust me. (Melinda Dillon as Ralphies mom, Darren McGavin as Ralphies dad, and Peter Billingsley as Ralphie stars)

We're No Angels (1955)
During Christmas, three convicts, Joseph, Julius, and Albert escape from Devil's Island prison. Waiting for a ship to take them to freedom, they take a job repairing a roof of a local merchant. The three convicts from their vantage point, look into the souls of the merchants family and the hardships they have. The convicts decide to help the family out after the arrival of Cousin Andre and Paul who own the shop and are only concerned with profits and nothing else. If it has no cash value, then it's worthless. A pet snake named Adolph helps the convicts along to give the merchant and his family a merry Christmas. (Humphrey Bogart as Joseph, Aldo Ray as Albert, Peter Ustinov as Jules stars)

The Bishops Wife (1947)
A Bishop has lost his way while working for months on a new cathedral. In this process, he neglects his family, friends, and parishioners and about to lose his very soul until divine intervention steps in by way of an angel sent by God by the name of Dudley. Dudley introduces himself and proceeds to collect the love and adoration of everything Henry, (The Bishop) holds dear, including his wife. Henry finally stands up to Dudley, and fights for what is really important to him just in time for Christmas Eve mass. (Cary Grant as Dudley and David Niven as Bishop Henry stars)

Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
Santa Claus goes on trial. A Macy's store Santa Claus calls himself Kris Kringle and believes he is the real Santa. A legal battle ensues and Santa Claus goes on trial. A savvy lawyer takes his case and the testimony is brilliant. (Maureen O'Hara as Doris Walker, Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle, Natalie Wood as Susan Walker stars)

Home Alone (1990)
Kevin, the youngest child of a large family gets left home alone as the entire family takes a trip for Christmas. Kevin finds being alone fine and dandy until he has to defend his home and life from the Wet Bandits, two hapless thugs that are breaking into the houses in the neighborhood.
(Macaulay Culkin as Kevin, Joe Pesci as Harry, Daniel Stern as Marv stars)

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)

An animated classic tale of Santa Claus at the North Pole needing Rudolph, a misfit flying reindeer with a powerful red nose to guide his sleigh through the blizzard conditions on Christmas Eve. Along the way, Rudolph meets up with Herbie, the elf dentist, Yukon Cornelius, the Bumble, and King Moonrazor, the leader of the island of misfit toys. (Burl Ives as the snowman narrator stars)

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

A Charles M. Schulz animated classic of the commercialization of Christmas. Charlie Brown seeks the true meaning of Christmas while his friends and even his own dog celebrate Christmas with money, and presents, and lights and decorations. it takes his best friend Linus to explain to him what Christmas is all about.

How The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (1966)

An animated book from Dr. Suess comes to life in the form of a mean old lonely Grinch that lives high atop Whoville. The Grinch hates everything about Christmas and plans to stop christmas from coming this year to Whoville by stealing all the presents, decorations, tree's, lights, and food. The Grinch learns a powerful lesson as he witnesses the Christmas spirit still alive in the town of Whoville. (Boris Karlof as the narrator and the voice of the Grinch stars)

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (1970)
The story of Kris Kringle, who later became Santa Claus. All the questions little children have about Santa Claus are answered in this animated story as Kringle was left on a doorstep and grew up with elves making toys and learning the family business. It even explains how Santa knows if you were bad or good and how reindeer know how to fly. (Fred Astaire as the mailman Narrator and Mickey Rooney as Kris Kringle stars)

As a child, I waited ever so patiently for these programs to air on TV. I would have the calendar circled and made sure I was home to watch these programs. I didn't have the luxury of a VCR to record the program and watch it whenever I wanted. I only had one chance per year.

There is still time to catch these programs on TV or rent them at the local video store. It will be well worth the time spent viewing with your family and children.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/24/2007

Merry Christmas From Grassy Knoll Institute

sexy elves for santa claus
Sexy Snow Bunnies On the Grassy Knoll
Happy Holidays from the entire staff of the
Grassy Knoll Institute


Is it nippy in here?

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/12/2007

Santa Claus Conspiracy


santa claus conspiracy
Santa Claus Conspiracy
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...

The Grassy Knoll Institute Santa Claus Conspiracy Theory has begun.

As a child, I often wondered how Santa Claus was able to tell if I was being naughty or nice, let alone millions of boys and girls.

Or how Santa had reindeer that could fly.

Or how Santa had enough time to visit every house in the world in one night.

Or how Santa fit down the chimney.

Or how Santa could fit all the toys in his one sled.

Well, the Grassy Knoll Institute finally reveals the Santa Mystery.

At the North Pole, Santa's home base and major toy manufacturing facility, are super computers with a huge database of every boy and girl in the world. His employees, also known as elves, work diligently updating their records on each child. Many phone calls to parents are necessary. Santa Claus then analyzes the data and then decides who is naughty and who is nice.

How do reindeer fly? Actually, it is not the reindeer that do the flying, but the sleigh that they pull. The sleigh is designed in such a manner that creates a wind tunnel vortex that sweeps up objects and propels them through the air. The sleighs rudders help control the direction and maneuverability and the reindeer simply guide the sleigh and keep it steady and on course.

The next problem was how does Santa have the time to visit all the boys and girls of the world all in one night? Some say the time lines of each region but there is a much simpler explanation. Santa Claus has the ability to bend time in the same manner as light bends when it comes in contact with water. When Santa begins his once a year journey on Christmas Eve, he enters the Santa space time continuum loop enabling him to virtually slow down time to a halt so an hour to him feels like a second to us. This way, he can carry out his travels and still have plenty of time.

On to the chimney, and what if some houses don't have chimneys? Santa is a contortionist. He is able to bend his body into many difficult and very limited spaces, such as a chimney. When a chimney isn't available, a crawl space or window does just fine.

The sled is only so big. So how does he fit all the toys in there? Since the North Pole is a toy manufacturing plant, they also have a very diverse distribution center. These centers are positioned all over the world and each package is bar coded and shipped to a specific warehouse. As Santa moves across the world, his employees, or elves, restock his sled as needed. That's why you see all those trucks delivering toys to the malls and stores in your area.

So there you have it. The Santa Conspiracy as told by the Grassy Knoll Institute.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/11/2007

The Mad Ice Scrapper

At dinner last night, I was reminded of an event that happened back in the 1970’s. I believe it was the winter of 1976, or maybe 1977. It was a Christmas holiday type event where each neighbor tried to outdo the next in Christmas decorations presentations. Being in the midst of the energy crisis, a time when just a few years earlier President Richard Nixon preached to all Americans to conserve oil, gas, and electricity. The Christmas light decorators had to find more energy efficient means to showcase their homes.

They came up with a very ingenious concept of brown and white paper lunch bags and nickel candles. The home owner would open each paper bag, add about an inch of sand to add weight so they would not blow away and line them starting at the street curb and then wind their way on both sides up their driveway. They would then add the nickel candles and light them. The paper bag would illuminate to a very bright decoration and the bag height would block the wind keeping the candle lit.


It would take hours to set up the bags and then every night relight or replace the candles and re-align whatever bags needed to be placed back into position.


That’s where Brad and I came in. At the height of the Christmas season, when every household was illuminated with these energy efficient decorations, we would take to the streets with our car. I was in my 1968 yellow Camaro, and we would find a street aglow with these light bags. I would then get really close to the curb and Brad would open the car door, and using the ice scrapper would mow down as many of the bags as he could.


Its hard to describe the sound the bags made when they came in contact with the ice scrapper, something like Thrack, thrack, thrack. We were laughing like idiots watching the bags almost explode as they were hit and then catch on fire immediately afterward. We would go street to street with the mad ice scrapper.


This went on for some time until we began to get chased from the neighbors who began to recognize the yellow Camaro. The mad ice scrapper retired after an all to brief reign of terror.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL