8/16/2008

Big Foot Update



Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Big Foot is back in the news as a tandem of Big Foot hunters happened upon a dead carcass in the woods of Georgia. They claim the carcass is the mythical half man, half ape beast that has eluded them for many years.

A press conference held Friday in Palo Alto revealed the DNA test results from the creature and failed to prove Big Foot was captured. The DNA samples came from human origin and the other from an opossum.

Of course, this was a hoax, some sort of conspiracy to that will assuredly introduce some sort of product or other news not connected to the Bigfoot sighting. Viral advertising at it's best.

In the meantime, Big Foot is still on the loose. The photo above was taken just two days ago by a team of Grassy Knoll Institute Bigfoot hunters. As the photo suggests, Bigfoot was startled at the flood lights as they quickly illuminated the thick night woods of Mill Creek Park in Youngstown, Ohio.

Alas, the beast made a quick getaway into the woods running at an amazing rate of speed. The hunt is still on and the Grassy Knoll Institute vows not to rest until this creature is found and captured.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/14/2008

Stage Deli - New York Style Cherry Cheesecake

Stage Deli New York Style Cherry Cheesecake
Stage Deli New York Style Cherry Cheesecake
The Stage Deli in New York is not only famous for it's huge sandwiches, they are also famous for their New york style cheesecake. And nothing says New York like a big ass piece of cheesecake from the Stage Deli located on Times Square.

When entering the Stage Deli, the cheesecakes are enclosed in a glass showcase. There are many different types of cheesecakes available. I chose the cherry cheesecake.

I must say, it was fantastic. The texture was smooth, creamy and tasted fantastic. Service at the Stage Deli is second to none. Very fast, courteous, and professional. The price was about 10 bucks without tip.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 5 out of 5 shots for Stage Deli Cherry Cheesecake and recommends them for dessert.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Sunset Tan Olly Girls Logo



Trust me, the LOTGK logo is there

The Olly girls (Holly and Molly Olly) are fighting to get their jobs back on Sunset Tan, a reality TV program involving beautiful women working at a tanning salon. A couple of strategic tattoos around the nether region couldn't hurt right. Let's face it, they are the stars of the reality show, and this is one clever ploy to boost ratings higher than their implants.

God Bless America!

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/08/2008

Jays Restaurant - Fairfax, Virginia - Chicken Perhaps


Ain't No Body In The Joint
Spending the evening in Fairfax, Virginia, is not that exciting. Being tired from the day's travel, I opted for the Best Western hotel house restaurant, Jay's Place. As you can see, there were plenty Of Seats Still Available. In fact, all the seats were available. I was the only customer. My spider sense let me down on this choice.
Chicken Strips Appetizer
After I sat down, I looked around to see if the joint was even opened. It was deserted. No hostess, no waiter, no cook, bus buy, no one. Just as I was about to get up, the waiter came out and welcomed me to Jay's. He presented me the menu and asked what I wanted to drink.

Several minutes later, he returned with my Coke and asked if I was ready to order. I ordered the chicken wedges as an appetizer and stuffed chicken as my main course with mashed potatoes.

So far, so good. I noticed that there was still no one in the restaurant. The waiter went into the kitchen and I believe he was also the cook for the evening. In about 10 minutes, he returned with my chicken wedges and a refill of Coke. (He was the cook, I could smell the kitchen grease on him)
Mystery Dish - I Think It Was Chicken
And then the main course came out. WTF was this? It certainly didn't look like stuffed chicken breast to me. And why was there cheese sauce covering the chicken? I asked if perhaps he had brought me the wrong dish. But how could he, I was the only patron in the place.

He explained that it was Jay's way of making stuffed chicken breast. I asked where was the breast for all I see are chicken parts and pieces. He said the breast was chopped up and mixed in with the stuffing. (And the fucking cheese sauce)

Some things don't go together. One example is cranberries and cold milk. Jay's stuffed chicken breast ingredients is another. From what I could make of it, there were chicken parts, cheese sauce, broccoli, stuffing, some type of brown chips, (Could have been bacon) and gravy. Broccoli and mashed potatoes were on the side.

I told the waiter, server, cook, cashier, whatever, that this was unacceptable and that it was not stuffed chicken breast and snapped this photo as I spoke to him. I told him I was dissatisfied with the meal and said I would pay only for the Coke and the chicken wedges I had ordered.

The waiter said he would make me anything else on the menu on the house. I declined and promptly paid for the portion of my bill and did leave a 15% tip. I usually leave much more for good service and good food, but this was substandard.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 0 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Jay's Place in Fairfax, Virginia for dinner.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Jays Restaurant Fairfax, Virginia”


  1. Bitzky said

    Hmm… In Europe we would have slapped an Italian or French name on it and make it a new trend!

  2. Augusto said

    Hotel restaurant’s expectations are very low to begin with but I have a strong inclination to avoid unknown restaurants with no patrons if there is anything else at all available.
    Otherwise, I’m sure it was perfectly fine, bless their hearts.

  3. Ulla said

    ok let’s not go there for lunch jeeps. let’s go to one of those places with the yummy BIG food.

Thought Screen Helmet Disguise

Thought Screen Helmet Disguise
In an attempt to blend in while wearing the thought screen helmet to keep evil aliens from invading your mind and controlling your thoughts and actions, Spiro Agnestesio has invented the thought screen helmet wig.

The thought screen helmet wig fits snugly over the thought screen helmet enabling the wearer to carry on with daily activities without having to withstand verbal abuse and snickers aimed at you for wearing a helmet out in public.

Wigs come in gray, black, brown, red, and blond.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/06/2008

An Exact Moment In Kennedy History

An Exact Moment In Time
At this exact moment, Richard Nixon was thinking, (Someday, I’m going to blow his motherfucking head off.)
And the rest is history…. Or conspiracy.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

7 Responses to “Exact Moment In History”


  1. Anti-Christ said

    This may be your best caption ever.

  2. Gumby said

    LMFAO!
    I bet he was thinking that. Kennedy was kicking his ass and the camera kept showing Nixon all sweaty and nervous.

  3. Max Jackl said

    And kill his brother Bobby as well.

  4. SIGHTER said

    MARVELOUS! SIMPLY MARVELOUS. GLAD I RETURNED.

  5. LOTGK said

    Returned? From where?

  6. Gumby said

    From the perch on the grassy knoll. Thats where.

  7. Raincoaster said

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

8/02/2008

Bob Evans - Turkey Dinner - Take Out

Bob Evans Turkey Dinner
Bob Evans Turkey Dinner
Bob Evans serves more than breakfast. But you all knew that anyway. Well, sooner or later, the Grassy Knoll Institute will get around to every restaurant in the world. This was our latest stop.

We decided on take out and we were not disappointed. I ordered the turkey dinner with all the fixings. Price was $10 dollars.

The order was ready on time, and it was correct, and the dinner was hot and fresh. It was sealed and placed in a sturdy container.

The turkey was not processed turkey, but carved from the breast. Very moist and hot. The stuffing was good, considering it was a national chain restaurant. the mashed potatoes were a surprise. They were not instant, but real mashed potatoes. Gravy was OK. The steamed carrots were adequate. The rolls, pretty darn good.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 4 out of 5 shots for the turkey dinner and recommends Bob Evans of Boardman, Ohio for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Hello Sally!!!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/01/2008

Mount Rushmore Logo



The LOTGK Logo Is In Patriotic Company

Mount Rushmore is the home of one of America's finest monuments. Located in Keystone, South Dakota, Mount Rushmore attracts more than two million tourists every year.

The sculpture is carved into the face of the mountain is of former presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. It depicts the first 150 years of the United States.

It is definitely one of mans wonders of the world and worth the visit.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL