Showing posts with label thought control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thought control. Show all posts

8/20/2008

Thought Screen Helmet Sale

Designer Thought Screen Helmets
In an effort to prevent citizens of Earth constructing faulty thought screen helmets to avoid alien abduction, the Grassy Knoll Institute has produced a new and improved helmet.

Our rocket scientists have been working round the clock designing the LOTGK version. Notice the sleek ergonomic design. Wind drag has been cut by 85% compared to older models enabling wearers to move more easily and smoothly throughout the day.

Another upgraded feature is the air cooled compartments in the dome of the helmet allowing the wearer to keep cool throughout the entire day. Those in hot and humid climates can thank the Grassy Knoll Institute later.

To order a Grassy Knoll Institute thought screen helmet, please send an email to us. For verification purposes, press on your keyboard the exact value of 22 divided by 7.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/08/2008

Thought Screen Helmet Disguise

Thought Screen Helmet Disguise
In an attempt to blend in while wearing the thought screen helmet to keep evil aliens from invading your mind and controlling your thoughts and actions, Spiro Agnestesio has invented the thought screen helmet wig.

The thought screen helmet wig fits snugly over the thought screen helmet enabling the wearer to carry on with daily activities without having to withstand verbal abuse and snickers aimed at you for wearing a helmet out in public.

Wigs come in gray, black, brown, red, and blond.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

4/26/2008

Are We Not Men?

Whipped Em Good
Photographic evidence that aliens controled humankind in the 1980's. The new wave rock band Devo knew of the thought control and attempted to sever the telepathic link to the alien race by donning self made thought screen helmets made from flower pots. Devo had assumed (And we all know what happens when you assume) the lead based paint and pottery would somehow block out the telepathic rays from the aliens freeing them to write and perform their own music.

If only they were aware of velostat, the magical material needed to effectively eliminate aliens from controlling your thoughts.

As we learn from history, Devo's experiment failed. Alas, they were only men.

Duty now for the future.

LURKING, WHIPPING IT GOOD, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/17/2007

When You Stop Wearing Thought Screen Helmets

Do-Not-Remove-Your-Thought-Screen-Helmet
Do Not Remove Your Thought Screen Helmet
You should know by now wearing a thought screen helmet lined with velostat prevents an evil alien race from telepathically controlling your mind. However, if you are feeling safe and are considering removing your helmet, look what happens when you do remove your thought screen helmet? Jesse, Wylene, and Ernie found out the hard way.



LURKING, TIGHTENING MY HELMET, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/22/2007

President Kennedy Was Assassinated By Aliens

There are hundreds if not thousands of conspiracy theories related to and concerning our 35th president of the United States, John Fitzgerald Kennedy and that fateful day in Dallas in 1963. Many surmise that Fidel Castro and Cuba assassinated him to even the score with the Bay Of Pigs catastrophe. Some think the Russians because of the spotlight Kennedy shined on the Soviet Union during the Missile crisis. Others claim the Mafia put a hit on the president to even the score against brother Bobby. The list goes on and on with every conceivable theory except one. And that my dear reader (s) will be the one discussed today.
In 1963, President John Kennedy was ready to expose too the world a secret that the government guarded since 1947 that an alien craft really did crash land in Roswell, New Mexico and the military harvested and reversed engineered the alien technology recovered to leap frog the world as a super power.
The surviving alien life forms also assisted in the understanding of how the technology worked and how it could be applied to weaponry, agriculture, and medicine. It is not a coincidence that jet propulsion improvements accelerated right after 1947 not to mention space flight.
The United States military in the 10 years after World War II was advancing by leaps and bounds. Computer technology, and not the cathode ray tube technology, but semiconductor technology exploded leading credence that the military had alien support.
John Kennedy wanted to distance himself from the disastrous Bay of Pigs debacle and needed a media blitz that would capture the worlds interest and imagination. The Roswell crash revelation would have been such a story.
But a problem arose. The alien race was not yet convinced that humans were ready to accept that they were not alone and the center of the universe. There were two huge factors to consider.
One: The balance of power had already shifted toward the United States and China and the Soviet Union would demand to be awarded the same technological advances enjoyed by the States for 16 years.
Two: Religious ramifications. All religions on the planet earth would now have to accept and re-examine their doctrine of faith. Millions of people would certainly have a hard time coping with the shakeup of their faith and that everything they were taught in school, church, and family, was a lie.
The Roswell aliens felt humanity wasn’t ready to deal with these worldly issues and devised a cover up scenario to keep everything Quid pro quo.
On that fateful day November 22nd, 1963, Kennedy was assassinated and silenced forever. Lee Harvey Oswald was set up as a patsy by using their incredible telepathic mind control to influence Oswald to shoot Kennedy from the 6th floor school book depository.
By manipulating the investigating officers and government officials assigned to the Kennedy assassination, created a media circus captivating the nation and the world for years. The nations interest shifted from the flying saucer sightings cropping up all over the nation to the Warren commission, the Kennedy assassination, and the conspiracy associated with it. Forty four years, the nation is still abuzz with the Kennedy conspiracy
The United States continue to reap the benefits of alien contact, (The only country to land on the moon, the space shuttle, and the stealth jet to name just a few) and as soon as the Roswell aliens deem humanity ready to accept the truth, we will certainly be waking up in a brave new world.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

26 Responses to “Kennedy Assassinated By Aliens”


  1. Revinjim said

    This works just as well as any other theory!

  2. Ethan said

    you are a fn idiot. give some fn proof about your alien claims. you should just kill youself. cia operatives killed kennedy b/c of the bay of pigs incident. you stupid motherfucker.

  3. LOTGK said

    Ethan, apparently you have missed the tagline of this web site. The home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory. We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers.
    Hurry, supplies are limited. And quit calling me Shirley.
    It ‘s a humorous site you twit. But you made me laugh.
    Thanks for playing.

  4. Old Way said

    I thought aliens killed JFK because of his challenge to put a man on the moon. The many failures of launch vehicles and the Apollo 11 fire, plus the assasination, would discourage our attempts to journey into space.
    Aliens had many observatories and labs, including large mining facilities on the moon who’s camoflauge could not withstand the close scrutiny of a lunar excursion by humans.
    When after all these failures did not quale our resolve, the aliens had to move their facillities to the deep ocean, a less desireable location.
    The aliens were also upset at Kennedy because of what they felt was a breach of an agreement they had with Eisnhower, which he agreed that the aliens could take a few citizens for testing and examinations. The aliens concept of a few did not hold well with JFK. A “few”, to the aliens was nearly 30% of our population. Their understanding of the term was from there limited observations in which when someone was offered a “few”, say there is a plate of ten cookies, and someone says, ” have a few”, and the person takes three cookies, the aliens interperate a “few” as 30% and since they agreed to it they must use 30% of the worlds population as test subjects!

  5. LOTGK said

    That would explain the Republican party.

  6. The Truth said

    That would explain the liberal, left-wing mentality of the democrats. I also koew that something was off with their ideology and perspective.

  7. LEE LARSON said

    YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, BLAME THE ALIENS. RACISM! RACISM! RACISM! EVERY TIME THE COUNTRY HAS A PROBLEM, BLAME THE LITTLE GREEN MEN WHO WEREN’T THERE. *THOSE OF US ON THE INSIDE TRACK ALL KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT JFK WAS SNUFFED ON ORDERS FROM THE ‘FRATERNAL ORDER OF INTELLECTUAL ESKIMOS’: F.O.O.I.E.

  8. LOTGK said

    Who said the aliens were green? I’m thinking more on the lines of a Grayish tint.

  9. LOTGK said

    Who said the aliens were green? I’m thinking more on the lines of a Grayish tint.

  10. Bitzky said

    No no, they are covered in white fuzz and to an untrained eye they resemble small hippos walking on their hind legs. LOTGK knows what I’m talking about *nods*

  11. LOTGK said

    Nods back with understanding to Mister Moomin.

  12. Jp said

    wt if jfk was an alien? is nasa just a scheme set up to provide e.t craft with docking points?

  13. Cole Maston said

    I think that JFK was killed by Chuck Norris when he was a Texas Ranger. The reason being is that there was and episode where JFK called Chuck a baby back b*tch. Therefore i think that it was Chuck Norris and i AM right.
    Cole-Bug

  14. Snowflake said

    Ogg bgah fellow aliens they have discovered us. We must return to the mother ship. Ogg ogga Now
  15. People, people, people. My Blog tells it all. Check it out for yourself and find the truth that has been eating into your mind like a splinter, each and every night that you sit in front of your computer screen searching for the truth. With my site and Grassy Knoll you will finally learn the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Kennedy was killed by a human, but one living on the moon in a secret CIA base. Check out my site for all the facts
  16. [...] have gotten credit for a lot of human history. They’ve been said to have built the pyramids, killed Kennedy, and even created modern man through genetic manipulation. Not to be left out of the fun, [...]

  17. Anonymous said

    Republicans are aliens.

  18. Tele Tubbie said

    back and to the left… back and to the left…