7/30/2008

Jorgine's Restaurant - Meatball Sandwich

Jorgines Restaurant Meatball Sandwich
Jorgines Restaurant Meatball Sandwich
Jorgine's is located downtown Youngstown. The take out menu is faxed everyday. We decided to try them and fell right into their trap.

The above photo is of a $5.99 meatball sandwich. No cheese, no fries, no chips, no drink. Just a sandwich. To understand the size of this sandwich, it is a hot dog bun.

The taste was adequate. These were not home made meatballs, but frozen mass purchased type meatballs thawed out in a microwave tasting types. The bun was fresh though.

The Grassy Knoll Diner reluctantly scores 1.5 out of 5 shots to Jorgine's meatball sandwich and does not recommend them for lunch or dinner.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

7/24/2008

Gillian Anderson - Sci-Fi Sexy Siren

Gillian Anderson X Files FBI Agent Dana Scully
Gillian Anderson X Files FBI Agent Dana Scully
Gillian Anderson - FBI Agent Dana Scully
Brings the "X" back to Sci-Fi movie, X-Files.
Gillian Anderson portrayed FBI agent Dana Scully, a sexy crime solving alien fighting super hot red headed sexy siren. For 10 years, fans waited for Scully and Mulder to do the wild thing. Finally, Fox And Dana got horizontal and the show promptly ended. The proverbial "Jumping of the shark syndrome."

Alas, all is not lost. A new X-Files movie is set to be released this Friday, July 25th, at a theater near you with Anderson reprising her role as Agent Dana Scully.

Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.




Lurking On The Grassy Knoll

7/20/2008

Thought Screen Helmet Hair

TSH Hair
One of the drawbacks of wearing the stylish thought screen helmet is classic Helmet Hair Syndrome. You see, once you are abducted, you must forever wear the thought screen helmet to prevent any more alien influence. Rolf, pictured above, is one of the many tormented souls hounded by aliens attempting to control his mind and actions.

However, the above photo does prove a point on a hotly debated subject that velostat, the secret magical material that lines official thought screen helmets does hold an electric charge and provides protection against aliens using telepathy to control the mind.

Knowledge is power. The Grassy Knoll Institute will continue to investigate the shocking story of alien abductions and the thought screen helmets that prevent them.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

7/17/2008

Quizznos $5 Dollar Sub Deal - Turkey, Cheese, Bacon

Quizznos Turkey Sub
Quizznos Turkey Sub
I stopped at the Quizznos restaurant off Lockwood Blvd and Route 224 for dinner tonight. I saw all the commercials from Subway and from Quizzno's. Both joints are touting $5 dollar foot long sandwiches. Well, feast your eyes upon Quizznos version of the $5 dollar sub.

To begin with, the sub above was not a foot long. More like 9 inches. I measured when I got home.

Next, this so-called giant sub had three slices of turkey. Yes kids, that's right, three thin slices of turkey. Not anything remotely similar to what the commercials on TV depict. This is blatant false advertising at it's finest.

Moving on, the sandwich had two pieces of cheese. Yup, just two pieces of cheese. Cut in half and spread on the bun.

To top it off, the bacon was pieces, but just by eye balling the sandwich, it was not more than two standard slices of bacon.

The cost was $5.00 for this sandwich. Let's take a minute and analyze the ingredients of this sandwich. three slices of turkey. I can buy a pound of turkey at the local Giant Eagle grocery store for $4.99 which consists of approximately 25 slices, or about 20 cents a slice.

The bacon is $1.99 a box, which is 15 slices, or 13 cents a slice.

The cheese is $4.99 per pound which is 20 slices or 25 cents a slice.

The bun is $1.99 for an eight pack of sub buns, which is 25 cents a bun.

Let's add it all together. 60 cents turkey, 26 cents bacon, 50 cents for cheese, and 25 cents for the bun. Grand total $1.61 for the sandwich. Keep in mind that Quizznos has to have better costs than my retail prices.

The Grassy Knoll Diner is highly disappointed in Quizznos pathetic attempt at a $5 dollar foot long sandwich and we award only 1 shot out of 5 and DOES NOT RECOMMEND them for lunch, dinner, or any event of any kind.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Blond Ambition Logo


Please have a look at the above picture. I have hidden the LOTGK logo somewhere in the photo. Only highly trained picture glyph specialists will be able to spot it.

Take your time. Study the picture. Get up close and personal with it. Stare at the photo. Ask yourself questions like, "Does this model work at Hooters?" and "Where did she get her piercings?" and "Why the orange hat?" Perhaps these questions will help you find the hidden logo.

Good luck!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

7/14/2008

My First Holy Communion

I had just endured and survived my first holy Confession on Saturday: (Walk in single line into church on Saturday, sit in pews, wait for red light to go out, watch kid with freshly cleansed soul walk out, walk in confessional box, sit down, wait for priest, tell your sins, lie about a few of them, wait for absolution, get lecture, get absolution, finally, get penance, leave confessional, kneel in pews, say penance, leave church.) leaving me with a clean slate on my soul but not on My Permanent Record. Dare I say I was ready for the next phase of my catholic faith, my first holy communion.

Damn, (Say two Our Fathers and two Hail Mary's) I thought I was ready, but I found out there was actually a class for holy communion. And I had to study and there would be tests. Jesus Christ! (Say another 5 Our fathers and Five Hail Mary's for taking the Lord's name in vain) Seriously, how hard could it be. I have been dragged to church for several years and I did watch what the adults did when it was time for holy communion.

Stand up when it was your row's turn, fold your hands in prayer, get in line, walk up to the priest at the altar, open your mouth, stick your tongue out at the priest, (That was the great part) exchange some secret words, take the host on your tongue, close your mouth, say Amen, turn and walk back in line to your pew, kneel, and say a prayer. I had this down, I didn't need to take any stinking tests or read any books on first communion. I was ready dammit. (Close profanity word, just in case, say three Our Fathers and a sincere Act of Contrition)

Alas, the Nuns had other plans for us. For weeks, we practiced the above ritual. Getting in line, (Like we never had to get in line at school before, lines were our goddamn lives, (Yes, more Hail Mary's) we knew how to get in a line) walking up to the altar, simulating taking the host, and returning to our pews. We practiced day in and day out, took test after written test until we were ready. We even learned new church songs for this festive occasion. Let There Be Peace On Earth is the only song I can remember. Even back then, in second grade, the Nuns told me to sing the hymns very quietly so as to not take the rest of the class out of tune. (Fucking bitch nuns!) (Ten Hail Mary's, Ten Our Fathers)

That Sunday morning, I prepared for church, and being that it was my first communion, I wasn't allowed to eat anything an hour before church. Damn, (Two Hail Mary's, Two Our Fathers) I was screwed. I didn't have time to get dressed and eat breakfast. I went hungry. Instead of eating, I had to put on my new shoes, new dark blue navy pants, white shirt, and clip on blur navy tie. Even for church, I had to wear a goddamn uniform. (Just keep saying the Rosary for penance)

When we arrived at church, the nuns herded all the first communion kids into the back hall of the church. We were ready to demonstrate that after two months of practice, we could walk down the aisle in a single file line. (Very impressive. But you are not a Jedi Knight yet!)

A few minutes before the show got on the road, the nuns opened a small canister that contained the thin white wafer hosts. The nuns said these were un-blessed and were to be used as practice hosts. WTF! (A solid Act of Contrition please) Apparently, as the story went from the nuns, several years back, a first holy communion kid almost choked to death when he received his host from the priest because it stuck to the roof of his mouth and he panicked causing him to spit the body of Christ out of his mouth. Luckily, the altar boy caught the host with his paten (Plate) before the blessed host hit the ground.

Anyway, the nuns said we were to practice with these ones before we went live. Of course mine got caught on the roof of my mouth. I didn't spit it out though. I used my tongue to slowly move it and un-stick it from the roof of my mouth. (All you Catholics know exactly what I mean.)

A minute later, the main event was on. All of us slowly began our march up the church aisle hands folded in (Steeple prayer mode) and promptly took our place at the front of the church.

Thirty minutes later, it was our time. Ready to accept the body and blood of Christ for the first time. As I approached the altar and kneeled I made sure I didn't stumble or fall off the kneeler as I stayed perfectly still. The priest made his way down the altar like an assembly line worker. I could hear him saying over and over again, "The body of Christ," as if he were asking us a question not making a statement.

About two kids away, I thought about the body and blood of Christ and a moment of terror filled my mind. I forgot all about the "Blood" part. The bible story about Jesus changing water into wine popped into my head and I wondered if the practice water based host I had earlier would taste the same as the blood version. I was about to find out.

My turn was here. The priest approached me, whispered, "The body of Christ" and I correctly answered "Amen," opened my mouth, stuck out my tongue and received the host. I got up, returned to my pew, kneeled and said said my communion prayer.

I was now a full fledged Catholic. A member of the gang. I was wondering if I got to vote now on church hymns and Gospel passages. (I wasn't) Instead, I was treated to a first communion breakfast and afterward, I had a small family party, sort of like my birthday.

The next week, when communion time came, I strolled up with the rest of the adults, kneeled down and waited for the priest to come my way. Being the old pro I performed the ritual without a glitch. However, I was stuck at the kneeler. My right knee had slipped between the dividers and I was stuck. Damn! (Three Hail Mary's and three Our Fathers)

Using the railing I pushed with all my might and in doing so lost my balance and although I didn't hit the ground I looked like I was drunk doing the humpty dance trying to regain my balance. I got several snickers from the congregation and a death stare from my mother. Several nuns on the side also gave me the evil eye. Even out of school I was getting in trouble with the god damn nuns. (Five Hail Marys)

Next Sunday would be better. I swear!

Back To Growing Up Catholic Archives


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

7/13/2008

Carnegie Deli - Bacon Cheeseburger

Carnegi Deli - Mirage Las Vegas
The Mirage Hotel and Casino on the strip in Las Vegas is the home to the Carnegie Deli restaurant, home of some of the best sandwiches on the planet.

Upon entering, we had a ten minute wait to be seated which is not bad considering dinner time in Vegas.
Now Thats a Lot Of Bacon
The waitress came to our table in a few minutes and took our drink order and since we knew what we wanted, also took our dinner order. I ordered the bacon burger, well done.

Ten minutes later, our dinner arrived at our table. As you can see, it was a bacon burger. It did look very tasty. The bun was fresh, the bacon cooked and plentiful, and the burger itself, not dried out.

The taste would not disappoint either. It was excellent as burgers go.

The cost was very reasonable as well at $13.00 without tip.

While in Vegas, the Grassy Knoll Diner awards 4 out of 5 shots and recommends the Carnegie Deli inside the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Carnegie Deli Bacon Hamburger”


  1. Daniel said

    Good burger goes a long way in the gambling den. Enjoy and thanks from us athttp://www.bentpage.wordpress.com.

  2. Bitzky said

    Yum! And considering the weak dollar, that’s actually very accessible. You could pay the same at lunch diners in Stockholm. And we are talking Vegas here!

  3. Vandamonium said

    That reminds me, I have hamburger thawing out in the kitchen…

7/12/2008

The School Yard

Over the past several years, I received numerous requests to post photo's of where I grew up. The pictures below are from my old neighborhood, the school yard, the birth of the Dare Devil's Club, many a fires, explosions, and other riotously funny antics. I grew up in the 60's and 70's and the lay of the land has changed over the past 40 years, but the key elements are still there. Enjoy the pictures. Make sure to click the thumb nail for a much larger picture.


01 The school yard. The old neighborhood. This is the drive way that led to the school. Plenty of black top for skate boards, bike riding, baskekball, tennis. This was a well traveled road as all the neighborhood kids knew this was the meeting place.

02 The hill. Way back when, the hill and the rest of the grass area was jungle like. Weeds and tree's 8-10 feet high with brush enough to hide. We had at least several forts at any given time. A perfect setting for kick the can, capture the flag, and cowboys and indians.

03 The school yard. As you can see, the school yard was huge. It housed 5 full sized baseball fields, a football field,  and plenty of open space. It was also advantageous when running from the police. We knew they wouldn't chase us. All we had to do was run into the field. We never got caught.

04 This is the playground  field right after it was cut by the tractor. It would only be cut several times a year. If you pile the dead dry grass into a huge pile, and light it on fire, airplanes can see it from the air. Not that I know this as first hand knowledge.

05 The black top walkway that went  fence to playground. I used to ride my mini-bike like a bat out of hell down that path into the playground to let it wind out on a long straight away. I can still feel the wind in my hair. (Which wasn't gray at that time contrary to popular belief)

06 This three sided enclosed porch was the place we we used to climb onto the roof. It was one of the easier access points to the roof. Once on the roof, there wasn't much to really do but to climb higher onto the gym roof. But it was there, so we did it.

07 One of the ditches behind the school. We used to climb down the three ditches and then light Sound Colorful Birds and wait for them to fly. (Sound Colorful Birds were small projectile firework items.) They hurt when they hit you and there was no escape.

08 The second ditch. This one had a window and a gas or water pipe running through it. The pipe made this ditch the easiest to climb in and out of. We used to walk across the red pipe as a test. We were not allowed to use our hands to steady ourselves. We fell in a lot.

09 The third ditch. This ditch had a side wall and window ledge that we used to climb in and out of. It's amazing that we never broke a single pane of glass while climbing in or out. We never knew what the ditches were actually used for. Still don't to this day.

10 These steps lead to the basement of the school. There were about forty steps. We used to ride our bikes down them to see if we could hang on and get to the bottom. Sometimes we didn't. And when we did, we would smash into the blue door at the bottom.

11 The back of the school showing the porch, the three ditches, and the basement steps. This was a well secluded area visible to very few. Only one access road that was off to the side. There was also a basketball court with a spotlight for night games.

12 Right up against the fence was where the Dare Devils Club apple tree stood. To be a member, you had to climb to the first branch, which was about 10 feet in the air, and jump. It was simple. Jump and you were in. Break a leg and you became the leader for the month.

13 The playground. These rides are more than 50 years old. We used to wax the sliding boards and watch unsuspecting kids smack their heads unprepared at the speed of the waxed up slide. You would actually hear the sound (Zing!) as the kids went down the slide.

14 Home Plate. There were 5 baseball fields complete with dirt infields and lined bases and several were always in use. I'm talking lined fields, clay infields, back stops, and a couple fields had home run fences. This beat up buried home plate is all that's left.

15 Long range view of the playground. At any given summer day, there would be at least 10-15 kids doing something at the playground. usually we were up to no good, but we were there. Nowadays, the playground is almost always empty.

16 The jungle gym. I had a dream once that the devil was chasing me around the jungle gym. He never caught me thank God.

17 My best friend Mark's old house. It's the one with the American flag painted on the garage.

18 Another view of the garage. Rocketeers forever Mark.

19 Meadowbrook Avenue entrance. There were several entrances to the school. This one was from the back and not visible from the main highway, Market street. So of course it was the most used entrance when we were up to no good.

20 Full view of the back of the school. This is the view from Meadowbrook street. The back of the school. Out of sight from the neighbors and Market street.

21 Raised blocks we used to climb on and try to knock the other kids off. We had some strong hands back in those days. We could hang on for a long time.

22 The school side view from a distance. Market street, the main road is in the distance. When I was a young lad, the grass area was covered with a thick brush of weeds, tree's, and jungle like greenery. Perfect for hiding.

23 The backside of the school. one complete lap was 3 tenths of a mile. We used to race our bikes around three times, or one mile. Sometimes we would have 30-40 bikes in the race. A lot of accidents on the corners, but that's racing. Admit it, you only watch NASCAR to see the crashes.

24 The many hiding places for bike ditch. The school provided many nooks and crannies, (Just like an English muffin) to hide in. There were plenty around the school.

25 Another view of the school yard. Again, all the grass land was covered in weeds back in the day. A jungle in our own back yard.

26 The race track. We used this strech of black top for bike racing. We would start at the top and pedal our bikes for all we we worth. We had speedometers on our bikes back then, and we exceeded 40 miles per hour. That was cooking.

27 Kindergarten class. This was my Kindergarten class. Mrs. Fisher was my teacher. The next year I was shipped off to Catholic school for eight years of mean old nuns hurling erasers at my head. Catholic education my ass!

28 The flag pole. I can still hear the sound the rope made as it swung in the way hitting against the side of the pole. Just last week they replaced the flag pole that was standing for over 50 years.

29 The grate. This was another ditch in the front of the school that had a covering. A loose flimsy covering. When you walked on it, it would creak and shake and shimmy. We used the grate as a test to show allegiance to the Dare Devil's club. Sort of like walking the plank to swear your loyalty. No one fell in, but it did cave in once when we tossed a building block in the center.

30 Side view of the school. This is the ledge we used to walk from one end to the next just to see if we could. Sometimes we made it, sometimes not. It would take an hour or two to complete the task.

31 Another view of the window ledge we walked as kids. In walking the ledge, we tried to knock each other off. It took a long time, but hell, we were kids, and we had nothing but time in the summer.

32 Basketball courts. There used to be two back boards and a lined court. There was almost always a game going on at one of the courts. Now, not even a back board remains.

33 The view to the street. Back in the day, the entire area was covered with heavy brush, almost jungle like where forts and numerous hiding places were made.

34 The black top. This is where we played kick ball and a form of soccer. This was also the site of many a bot made bike ramps and broken bones.

35 This is the school drive entrance. When we were little kids, when it rained really hard, the street would flood from water running down the drive. The water was running so fast, we were able to surf. We got our winter sleds, the round metal spinning plate ones, and used them as surf boards. We would start at the black sewer and surf as far as we could down the drive. Being from Ohio, none of us were very good at surfing so we rarely made it to the bottom but it was fun as hell.

This post dedicated to my best friend, Hippy Mark. Rocketeers for life my friend.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL