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| Boston Celtic Cheerleaders |
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Showing posts with label Ireland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ireland. Show all posts
3/15/2009
Boston Celtics Cheerleaders
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Irish Humor - Long Distance Salvation
An Irish business man hired a Kerryman as an assistant to take customer service phone calls. One day the phone rang and when the Kerryman answered he hung up immediately. This went on for about an hour until the boss asks Pat, "Who was that on the phone and why did you hang up on him?"
Pat said, "twas some fool kept calling me and saying it was long distance from New York. I told him everybody knew that half an hour ago."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Pat said, "twas some fool kept calling me and saying it was long distance from New York. I told him everybody knew that half an hour ago."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/14/2009
Kathy Ireland - A Natural Irish Lass
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| Kathy Ireland In Sexy Irish Bikini |
Have a wonderful St. Patrick's Day week.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/13/2009
Irish Humor - House Of Ill Repute
Pat and Mike were doing some street repairs in front of a well known house of ill repute in Boston when along came a Jewish Rabbi walking down the street. The Rabbi looked to his left, then to his right, and quickly ducked into the house. Pat paused a bit from swinging his pick and said "Mike... will you look at that! A man of the cloth, and going into a place like that in broad daylight!"
A wee bit later, a Baptist minister came down the street. The Minister looked to his left, then to his right, and then scurried into the house. Mike laid down his shovel, turned to Pat and said "Pat! Are you seeing what
I'm seeing right now? A man of the Church, and he's giving that place his custom!"
About twenty minutes later a Catholic Priest came down the street. The Priest looked to his left, then to his right, and waltzed into the bawdy house of ill refute. Pat and Mike straightened up upon seeing this with their own eyes, quickly removed their hats, bowed their heads, as Mike says "Faith be to Jesus, there must be somebody sick in there."
A wee bit later, a Baptist minister came down the street. The Minister looked to his left, then to his right, and then scurried into the house. Mike laid down his shovel, turned to Pat and said "Pat! Are you seeing what
I'm seeing right now? A man of the Church, and he's giving that place his custom!"
About twenty minutes later a Catholic Priest came down the street. The Priest looked to his left, then to his right, and waltzed into the bawdy house of ill refute. Pat and Mike straightened up upon seeing this with their own eyes, quickly removed their hats, bowed their heads, as Mike says "Faith be to Jesus, there must be somebody sick in there."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2009
Wearing Of The Green On St. Patricks Day
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| Wearing Green On St. Pats Day |
Dear Curator: I have heard the expression, Wearing of the green for St. Patrick's day and wondered what it meant.
A very good question indeed. (Attention, all eyes down here instead of on Megan Fox. You can go back and look once you finish reading) There are a few explanations that I will endeavor to answer. First, in Ireland, the color green wasn't normally worn by the people for fear of being taken by the Good People, also known as, the fairies. The fairies loved the color green and if your children wore to much green, they stood the chance of being stolen. Seriously! I'm not kidding you. That was a long ago superstition. Today in Ireland, not so much.
In the United States, wearing green on St. Pat's pays tribute to the Emerald Isle, (Ireland) and it's people and also so you don't get pinched. That's right. If you forget or choose not to wear green on St. Patrick's day, your friends have the right to pinch you for not wearing green.
There you have it, the reason for Wearin O The Green.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2008
St. Patricks Day Sexy Irish Waitress 2008
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| Irish Barmaids |
Happy St. Patrick's Day 2008 from all the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Please be careful and assign a designated driver tonight.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Irish Language Lost In Translation
The Irish speak English. Not the kings English, not the American English, but a dialect all their own. Sometimes you must pay close attention to what they are saying and many times what the commentator is saying has a completely different meaning to others. Here are some examples.....
At a women's weightlifting tournament:
Next up is Shannon O'Malley... I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing.
At an Irish horse race event:
Tis really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.
At a soccer championship game:
He's pulling him off! The manager is pulling his
captain off!
Soccer player interview:
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Announcer At Ireland's race speedway:
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it
which is identical.
Interview at a charity event:
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Commentator at boxing event:
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none
of them serious.
Irish TV Weatherman:
If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same
thing again.
At an Irish football game:
"I would not say he is the best left winger in
the Premiership, but there are none better."
Commentator at a boat race:
Ah, isn't that lovely indeed, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.
Commentator at an indoor track meet:
O'Toole has four fastest 1500-meter times ever. And all those
times are at 1500 meters.
Commentator at soccer field:
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks
on the field.
Commentator reporting the news:
"And later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..."
Irish betting:
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
Irish observation at a soccer game:
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in
the air for even longer."
Irish interview with a retiring sports star:
"What will you do when you leave the sport of soccer? Will you stay in soccer?"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
At a women's weightlifting tournament:
Next up is Shannon O'Malley... I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing.
At an Irish horse race event:
Tis really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.
At a soccer championship game:
He's pulling him off! The manager is pulling his
captain off!
Soccer player interview:
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
Announcer At Ireland's race speedway:
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it
which is identical.
Interview at a charity event:
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Commentator at boxing event:
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none
of them serious.
Irish TV Weatherman:
If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same
thing again.
At an Irish football game:
"I would not say he is the best left winger in
the Premiership, but there are none better."
Commentator at a boat race:
Ah, isn't that lovely indeed, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.
Commentator at an indoor track meet:
O'Toole has four fastest 1500-meter times ever. And all those
times are at 1500 meters.
Commentator at soccer field:
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks
on the field.
Commentator reporting the news:
"And later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..."
Irish betting:
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
Irish observation at a soccer game:
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in
the air for even longer."
Irish interview with a retiring sports star:
"What will you do when you leave the sport of soccer? Will you stay in soccer?"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Irish Comedian Hal Roach Passing
Hal Roach, Ireland's finest comedian, spins some yarns about the people of Ireland and how we walk and talk and conduct business. enjoy.
This Irish fella Murphy walked into a Macy's store and asked the sales clerk to show him the cheapest suit in the store.
The sales clerk replied, "You're wearing it."
Did you hear about the Kerry man who was disqualified at the annual tug of war contest?
He was pushing!
When reading the Irish obituaries, sometimes you have to read very carefully as certain words have different meanings.
Example:
To my husband Shamus O’ Shawnessey, May he rest in peace, Until we meet again!
Sometimes when the Irish talk amongst themselves, we answer a question first, and then we ask it. Examples:
You won't be having a drink with me will ya Paddy?
You're not going out are you?
Have you not gone home yet? (As he sees me at the bar)
I was traveling in County Mayo late one evening and stopped outside a little boarding house. I knocked on the door and a second later the top floor window opened and a woman yelled down, "What do you want so late in the evening?" I asked, "Could I stay here for the evening?" The woman yelled down to me, "YES!" and then closed the window.
Addendum:
Sadly, Hal Roach, Ireland's international comedian, passed away this morning, February 28th, 2012. Mr. Roach was 84 years old.
May he have been in Heaven an hour before the devil knew he was dead.
I'm sure the first question he asked St. Peter at the pearly gates was, "Is that yourself?"
This Irish fella Murphy walked into a Macy's store and asked the sales clerk to show him the cheapest suit in the store.
The sales clerk replied, "You're wearing it."
Did you hear about the Kerry man who was disqualified at the annual tug of war contest?
He was pushing!
When reading the Irish obituaries, sometimes you have to read very carefully as certain words have different meanings.
Example:
To my husband Shamus O’ Shawnessey, May he rest in peace, Until we meet again!
Sometimes when the Irish talk amongst themselves, we answer a question first, and then we ask it. Examples:
You won't be having a drink with me will ya Paddy?
You're not going out are you?
Have you not gone home yet? (As he sees me at the bar)
I was traveling in County Mayo late one evening and stopped outside a little boarding house. I knocked on the door and a second later the top floor window opened and a woman yelled down, "What do you want so late in the evening?" I asked, "Could I stay here for the evening?" The woman yelled down to me, "YES!" and then closed the window.
Addendum:
Sadly, Hal Roach, Ireland's international comedian, passed away this morning, February 28th, 2012. Mr. Roach was 84 years old.
May he have been in Heaven an hour before the devil knew he was dead.
I'm sure the first question he asked St. Peter at the pearly gates was, "Is that yourself?"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Irish Hospital Charts - Be Very Afraid
Ireland has free health care to all it's citizens. And by reading some of these hospital charts, I can see why.
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
She is numb from her toes down.
Patient has exhibited occasional constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient refused autopsy.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.
She is numb from her toes down.
Patient has exhibited occasional constant infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/16/2008
Irish Humor To Start Your Day
Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.
In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"
So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."
The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"
She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".
--------------------------
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye, FOOM! The oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! There was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."
-----------------
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
------------------
A young gentleman sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar. The man proceeded to say "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up .Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn, and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son. ""Well " said the bartender "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened? " "Well said the young man, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once !!!"
----------------
Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!"
"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...
Darn! There goes another one!"
----------------
Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to 105!"
"Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?"
"No, twas somebody named 'Miles from Dublin'"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your toast?"
So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."
The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you, Mary?"
She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come".
--------------------------
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye, FOOM! The oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! There was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."
-----------------
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"
At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
------------------
A young gentleman sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender said no animals were allowed at the bar. The man proceeded to say "Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up .Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn, and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son. ""Well " said the bartender "I guess this pig is very special so I'll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened? " "Well said the young man, when you got a pig this good you don't eat him all at once !!!"
----------------
Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!"
"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"
"I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...
Darn! There goes another one!"
----------------
Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to 105!"
"Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?"
"No, twas somebody named 'Miles from Dublin'"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Irish Catholic Confession Penance
Making Poteen (Moonshine) is a sin in Ireland.
This fella goes to confession and gets the newly appointed priest. The fella begins, bless me father for I have sinned, I have made 8 gallons of poteen.
The new priest, unaware of what the penance for poteen (Moonshine) is in this parish, tells the gentleman to hold on a second and he'll be right back. The young priest leaves the confessional, walks into the sacristy where the Bishop is half asleep and says, "This fella in the confessional made 8 gallons of poteen, what should I give him?" The Bishop says, "Give him two pounds a gallon and not a penny more."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
This fella goes to confession and gets the newly appointed priest. The fella begins, bless me father for I have sinned, I have made 8 gallons of poteen.
The new priest, unaware of what the penance for poteen (Moonshine) is in this parish, tells the gentleman to hold on a second and he'll be right back. The young priest leaves the confessional, walks into the sacristy where the Bishop is half asleep and says, "This fella in the confessional made 8 gallons of poteen, what should I give him?" The Bishop says, "Give him two pounds a gallon and not a penny more."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
The Irish People Can Read Your Mind
We Irish folks are a mystical and magical bunch. Many of us have the capability to read people's minds. Ahh, I can sense some skepticism from my readers. See, it's working already. I suppose I will have to prove my mind reading abilities with a test.
First, I need you to read and answer the following questions as fast as you can and then click on the comments section to be amazed.
Important! You must speak the answers out loud. You don't have to shout them, just say them in a normal voice.
Do not click the comments section until you complete the questions. Otherwise, it will ruin the test.
Ready, set, go.....Say your answers out loud please. I won't be able to hear you and read your mind if you don't.
What is one plus six?
What is two plus five?
What is three plus four?
What is four plus three?
What is five plus two?
What is Six plus one?
What's your favorite vegetable?
The answer is in the comments section......
First, I need you to read and answer the following questions as fast as you can and then click on the comments section to be amazed.
Important! You must speak the answers out loud. You don't have to shout them, just say them in a normal voice.
Do not click the comments section until you complete the questions. Otherwise, it will ruin the test.
Ready, set, go.....Say your answers out loud please. I won't be able to hear you and read your mind if you don't.
What is one plus six?
What is two plus five?
What is three plus four?
What is four plus three?
What is five plus two?
What is Six plus one?
What's your favorite vegetable?
The answer is in the comments section......
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
An Irish Fairy Tale
Shannon O'Malley wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Shannon sits weeping in the garden, her fairy godmother appears and promises to provide Shannon with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." We all know what happens after these balls now don't we Shannon. And what would the priest say when he sees you in church?
Shannon agrees and asks what the second condition is.
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Shannon nods and agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.
Of course, 2:00 am comes and goes but Shannon doesn't show up! Finally, at 5:00 a.m. when the cock is crowing, Shannon shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!"
Shannon, still panting, replied, "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything and we had a wonderful time after the ball."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! I demand that you tell me his name!"
Shannon replied, I can't remember his name exactly,... It was Peter, Peter, something or other eater."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." We all know what happens after these balls now don't we Shannon. And what would the priest say when he sees you in church?
Shannon agrees and asks what the second condition is.
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Shannon nods and agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m.
Of course, 2:00 am comes and goes but Shannon doesn't show up! Finally, at 5:00 a.m. when the cock is crowing, Shannon shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours
ago!!!"
Shannon, still panting, replied, "I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything and we had a wonderful time after the ball."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! I demand that you tell me his name!"
Shannon replied, I can't remember his name exactly,... It was Peter, Peter, something or other eater."
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/15/2008
The Essential Irish List
As by now you more than likely guessed that I am Irish. If you haven't, then you must be English....
Anyway, the following is my Irish list. A sort of best off Ireland.
My Favorite Irish Singer:
Van Morrison. Brown Eyed Girl.
U2 - Rock and roll from Bono and Edge for decades now and still going strong.
Enya - Just because of her Celtic voice and haunting melodies.
Irish Rovers - Yes, the unicorn song.
Favorite Irish Actors:
Colin Farrell. Best in S.W.A.T. and Daredevil.
Liam Neeson. A Jedi Knight and a teacher to the Caped Crusader Batman.
Pierce Brosnan. Bond, James Bond.
Favorite Actress:
Maureen OHara. Her role as Kate in the Movie "The Quiet Man" was made for her.
Favorite Irish Movie:
A Quiet Man. Starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. A glimpse into old Irish country. Pretty funny story with plenty of beautiful scenery and Irish Catholic stereotypes.
Leprechaun. Yes, a Sci-Fi spoof about an evil Leprechaun on a killing spree after a group of people steal his pot of gold.
Favorite Irish Song:
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Danny Boy.
Favorite Irish Comedian:
Hal Roach. "Write it down, it's a good one."
Dennis Leary. "Can I just buy coffee flavored coffee?"
Favorite Irish Dancer:
Begrudgingly, Michael Flatly, Lord of the Riverdance.
Aww, who am I kidding. I hate Lord of the dance.
Favorite Irish Beer:
Guinness (Is there any other?)
Favorite Irish Ship:
Alas, tis was the Titanic. Several of my relatives attempted to cross the Atlantic on that ship. Alas, third class passengers didn't have much of a chance to survive.
Favorite Irish Saying:
"Is that yourself?" When seeing someone you know.
"Shut up lest ye be feelin the back of me hand!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Anyway, the following is my Irish list. A sort of best off Ireland.
My Favorite Irish Singer:
Van Morrison. Brown Eyed Girl.
U2 - Rock and roll from Bono and Edge for decades now and still going strong.
Enya - Just because of her Celtic voice and haunting melodies.
Irish Rovers - Yes, the unicorn song.
Favorite Irish Actors:
Colin Farrell. Best in S.W.A.T. and Daredevil.
Liam Neeson. A Jedi Knight and a teacher to the Caped Crusader Batman.
Pierce Brosnan. Bond, James Bond.
Favorite Actress:
Maureen OHara. Her role as Kate in the Movie "The Quiet Man" was made for her.
Favorite Irish Movie:
A Quiet Man. Starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. A glimpse into old Irish country. Pretty funny story with plenty of beautiful scenery and Irish Catholic stereotypes.
Leprechaun. Yes, a Sci-Fi spoof about an evil Leprechaun on a killing spree after a group of people steal his pot of gold.
Favorite Irish Song:
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
Danny Boy.
Favorite Irish Comedian:
Hal Roach. "Write it down, it's a good one."
Dennis Leary. "Can I just buy coffee flavored coffee?"
Favorite Irish Dancer:
Begrudgingly, Michael Flatly, Lord of the Riverdance.
Aww, who am I kidding. I hate Lord of the dance.
Favorite Irish Beer:
Guinness (Is there any other?)
Favorite Irish Ship:
Alas, tis was the Titanic. Several of my relatives attempted to cross the Atlantic on that ship. Alas, third class passengers didn't have much of a chance to survive.
Favorite Irish Saying:
"Is that yourself?" When seeing someone you know.
"Shut up lest ye be feelin the back of me hand!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/14/2008
Nookie Green Irish Humor
To kick off the St. Patrick's Day weekend holiday, I offer an old family joke told over and over this time around St. Patrick's day.
When our family gets together, and there are a lot of us, we sit around the dinner table and tell old jokes. This is one of my favorites. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it already, I have to much fun telling it again and again.
Father Flanagan enters the confessional ready to listen to the parishioners confess their sins. He hears the door creek open and a male voice begins to speak…..
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.” Father Flanagan, hearing almost the same confession just the day before from Paddy begins to realize that Nookie Green is becoming very popular with the male parishioners. Then, he tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go now and say three Hail Mary’s and three Our Fathers.”
Soon, another man enters the confessional and begins, “Bless me Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.” This time Father Flanagan simply has to ask — “Who is Nookie Green?”
“A new widow woman in town,” the sinner replies. “Very well,” says the priest. “Go now and for penance, say ten Hail Mary’s and ten Our Fathers.” With that, the priest leaves the church wondering, what’s going on with this widow named Nookie Green?
The next morning in church Father Flanagan is preparing to deliver his sermon,when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is a shiny bright green and way too short, and she is wearing matching shiny emerald green shoes, and a green boa.
Father Flanagan and the alter boys gasp, as the woman in the matching green outfit, sits there with her legs slightly spread apart. Father Flanagan turns to the alter boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?” The alter boy, breathing hard, squints his eyes and replies; “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day To Ye
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
When our family gets together, and there are a lot of us, we sit around the dinner table and tell old jokes. This is one of my favorites. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it already, I have to much fun telling it again and again.
Father Flanagan enters the confessional ready to listen to the parishioners confess their sins. He hears the door creek open and a male voice begins to speak…..
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.” Father Flanagan, hearing almost the same confession just the day before from Paddy begins to realize that Nookie Green is becoming very popular with the male parishioners. Then, he tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go now and say three Hail Mary’s and three Our Fathers.”
Soon, another man enters the confessional and begins, “Bless me Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.” This time Father Flanagan simply has to ask — “Who is Nookie Green?”
“A new widow woman in town,” the sinner replies. “Very well,” says the priest. “Go now and for penance, say ten Hail Mary’s and ten Our Fathers.” With that, the priest leaves the church wondering, what’s going on with this widow named Nookie Green?
The next morning in church Father Flanagan is preparing to deliver his sermon,when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is a shiny bright green and way too short, and she is wearing matching shiny emerald green shoes, and a green boa.
Father Flanagan and the alter boys gasp, as the woman in the matching green outfit, sits there with her legs slightly spread apart. Father Flanagan turns to the alter boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?” The alter boy, breathing hard, squints his eyes and replies; “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”
Happy St. Patrick's Day To Ye
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2007
Slainte O Dhia Duit
 |
| Sexy Irish Lass Dressed Up For St. Patricks Day |
The man who ordered and paid for the whiskey would stand up, pour a drink, hand the glass to the man nearest to him, and then say, "Here's health!" and to which the first man might reply back, "God grant you health!" In Gaelic, that toast is written, (Slainte O Dhia Duit) The men would repeat this process until all the men had a round or two or three.
Slainte O Dhia Duit and Happy St. Patrick's Day from all of us at the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Danny Boy Lyrics - Official Meaning
Perhaps the most popular American Irish song is Danny Boy. Many people here in the states identify Danny Boy to Ireland and its people. It is sung and played at many Irish funerals and the tune can be heard throughout the day at almost every drinking establishment in the United States on St. Patrick's Day. But did you know Danny Boy is really not an Irish tune? That is correct! It was written by Frederick Weatherly who was an English lawyer, in 1910. Weatherly later married the lyrics to an old melody, Air From County Derry, (Londonderry Air) which became the classic song everyone knows today.
But what is Danny Boy about? What do the lyrics mean? There is plenty of speculation that it is about an Irish father watching his son go off to war knowing that he will (The father) will be gone, (Dead) or of the IRA going to battle, or a sickly mother to her son saying goodbye as her son leaves for the states. But, the real meaning is a love song from a woman to man. Even so, the lyrics are written well enough to have several meanings throughout the ages and the Irish have taken this song as one of it's own. It will be sung at my own funeral one day. Hopefully a long long time from now.
What about the revisions of the song the past 100 years. Well, the verses below are what my grandmother Veronica sang to us.
Oh Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so
And when ye come, and all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
Ye'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave' there for me
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me
And all my grave shall warmer, sweeter be
For you shall bend and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the roses falling
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so
And when ye come, and all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
Ye'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an Ave' there for me
And I shall hear, though soft you tread above me
And all my grave shall warmer, sweeter be
For you shall bend and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace until you come to me
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Legend Of The Leprechaun
 |
| Legend Of The Evil Leprechaun |
Leprechauns are ugly creatures, usually under three feet tall, but bulky, but can move as fast and as nimble as the wind. If you do spy a Leprechaun, do not take your eyes off him for if you do, he will disappear and you will never see him again.
A Leprechauns attire is usually a green jacket, stockings, and shiny black shoes with gold buckles. He completes his attire with a work apron, a tall usually colored green hat with stripes, and is sometimes smoking a pipe.
What about the pot of gold Leprechauns keep hidden at the end of rainbows? Leprechauns guard all the world's gold in a place only known to them. No mere mortal could ever find the pot of gold unless a rainbow is in the sky. The pot of gold will always be at the end of the rainbow. Simply follow it and you will find the Leprechaun and his treasure.
He must them demand that the Leprechaun offer him the gold. If he / she wavers in the demand, the Leprechaun can pick up his gold and move it out of the rainbows rays and disappear into the forest.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Giant Aliens Attack On St. Patricks Day
 |
| Attack On St. patricks Day |
Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
St. Patricks Day Quiz And Facts
If you think that all Irish people are drunks, wear green, build ships that sink, love to fight, put on a great parade, and make a hell of a beer, then the following list and quiz is for you.St. Patrick's Day is celebrated to commemorate the death of St. Patrick on March 17th, 461 AD.
Where does the Blarney Stone come from?
Answer: From Blarney castle.
Gaelic is the official language of Ireland. Although not many people speak it nowadays.
In Ireland, wearing the color green stands for hope.
What colors are the Irish flag?
Answer: Green, white, and orange.
What is a shillelagh?
Answer: A short club, almost cane.
According to legend, if you catch a Leprechaun, you should never take your eyes off him lest he disappear.
St. Patrick's birth name was Maewyn Succat.
Other than guard his pot of gold, what else does a Leprechaun do?
Answer: He is a cobbler and makes shoes.
Erin Go Braugh means "Ireland Forever."
What happens if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's day?
Answer: You 'll get pinched.
The official emblem of Ireland is not the Shamrock, nor the Leprechaun, nor the Irish cross, but the Irish harp.
Ireland's National airline is called "Aer Lingus" and it's emblem is the shamrock.
Kissing the Blarney stone gives the kisser the gift of gab and cures them from shyness. And to do this feat, you must lie on your back and tilt your head backwards and slowly lower yourself down to the stone, usually with the aid of several close friends. Also noted, the local lads love to relieve themselves at night on the Blarney stone and then watch the tourists kiss the stone.
The shamrock was used by st. Patrick to show the pagans he was trying to convert to Christianity that three can be as one, as in the holy trinity, or the three leafs of the shamrock make up the whole.
St. Patrick's Cathedral is located in Dublin, Ireland.
A Leprechaun is noted as a fairy, not a troll, or an imp, or a spirit, but an unsociable fairy.
A Sidhe refers to the earthen mounds that were thought to be home to a supernatural race, or elves.
A Banshee is a mean and nasty female spirit seen as an omen of death and a messenger from hell. Also see Hillary Clinton.
The capital of Ireland is Dublin.
Ireland's population is just over 4 million citizens.
Roman Catholic makes up more than 88% of the population.
Ireland's government type is a Republic.
Life expectancy for Ireland natives is 77.5 years.
Ireland has 1.26 million Internet users.
Ireland uses the Euro as it's currency.
The rock band U2 is from Ireland. So is Van Morrison.
Alas, so are the Irish Rovers, but we're trying to keep that a secret.
What is the name of illegally distilled whiskey in Ireland?
Answer: Poteen.
Irish shipbuilders built the ill fated Titanic.
The local obituaries broadcast is one of the most popular radio shows in Ireland.
Ireland used to be infested with witches. Gladly, the last one was Alice Kytler, from Kilkenny in 1820. She had four husbands, and yes, all four died from suspected poisoning. Kytler's residence still stands, and in fact is an Inn with a restaurant. Be sure to leave a big tip if you know what's good for you.
Ireland once had a huge prostitution problem. Montgomery Street in Dublin was the largest red light district in all of Europe, with almost 2000 ladies of the evening practicing their craft. I don't think any Catholic priests were customers.
Pyramids in Egypt, big deal! The Newgrange passage tomb in County Meath was constructed around 3200 BC, making it more than 600 years older than the Giza Pyramids in Egypt, and 1,000 years older than Stonehenge.
The Vikings founded Dublin in 988 AD. They have yet to win the Superbowl.
In 1800, the population of Ireland was almost twice as large as that of the United States. By the year 2000, America’s population was 60 times that of Ireland. Ask us about the rhythm method.
Ireland was once densely forested, but was practically stripped of all it's tree's in the 17th century. Last known island to do this was Easter Island, the makers of the Maoi statues that adorn the coastline.
The island of Ireland land mass covers 26,598 square miles.
Halloween was brought over to America by the emigrating Irish. Halloween was a druid (Ancient Celts) celebration to ward of evil spirits by dressing up as spirits and using hollowed out ghords lit afire to scare the demons away from the village.
Did you know that Ireland is one of the best spots for surfing? Yes, that's right! Ireland. The West coast of Donegal Bay is completely exposed to the Atlantic ocean, thus allowing the waves to pound the beach. The shape of the bay, (Funnel shaped) the winds intensify the waves increasing the speed and power of the waves creating some of the best surfing conditions in the world.
Beyond The Green Door, a porno movie starring actress Marilyn Chambers, was not made in Ireland. It just had a green door.
John F. Kennedy was the first United States president elected with an Irish Catholic heritage. Kennedy was assassinated in November of 1963. Wonder why no more Irish Catholics candidates became president!
The Quiet Man, filmed in Ireland in 1952 starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, is one of the most popular movies made.
Hal Roach is Ireland's most famed comedians. Roach has been headlining at Jury's Hotel in Dublin for over a quarter of a century. Write that down!
"You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer."
Hal Roach, comedian.
Waterford Crystal is the home of the world's finest crystal.
Guinness Brewing company has a 9000 year old lease on the factory and land that brews Guinness beer for 45 pounds per year. Tell me Guinness beer is not important to the Irish people.
The largest dog in the world is the Irish Wolfhound.
Eire is the Gaelic name for Ireland.
Legend has it that St. Patrick drove out all the snakes from Ireland. But, Ireland was covered in ice completely during the most recent ice age and everyone knows snakes hate the cold.
Before Patrick became a missionary, he was abducted by pirates and held captive for several years.
The Irish bag pipes have been around for over 2000 years in Ireland. They were known as warpipes, as armies used them to march their soldiers to war. They are often used at Irish funerals with Amazing Grace as the most popular song choice.
What is a bean-jacks in Ireland?
Answer: The ladies restroom.
Bingo wings are flabby underarms on a woman.
What does it mean if an Irish girl wants to give an attractive man a few bob?
Answer: Yes, she wants to have sex with him. Write it down.
Cake Hole! Yes, it's your big mouth. As in shut your cake-hole!
Cock mangers are the public urinals.
Be careful if a man asks to play your flute. A flute is slang for penis.
And yea, I'm not even going to mention River Dancing by Michael Flatley, so I'll merely dance a jig around that subject.
Last but not least, raise a glass to all and yell out,"Slainte!" Slainte is a drinking toast to wish good health.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Where does the Blarney Stone come from?
Answer: From Blarney castle.
Gaelic is the official language of Ireland. Although not many people speak it nowadays.
In Ireland, wearing the color green stands for hope.
What colors are the Irish flag?
Answer: Green, white, and orange.
What is a shillelagh?
Answer: A short club, almost cane.
According to legend, if you catch a Leprechaun, you should never take your eyes off him lest he disappear.
St. Patrick's birth name was Maewyn Succat.
Other than guard his pot of gold, what else does a Leprechaun do?
Answer: He is a cobbler and makes shoes.
Erin Go Braugh means "Ireland Forever."
What happens if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's day?
Answer: You 'll get pinched.
The official emblem of Ireland is not the Shamrock, nor the Leprechaun, nor the Irish cross, but the Irish harp.
Ireland's National airline is called "Aer Lingus" and it's emblem is the shamrock.
Kissing the Blarney stone gives the kisser the gift of gab and cures them from shyness. And to do this feat, you must lie on your back and tilt your head backwards and slowly lower yourself down to the stone, usually with the aid of several close friends. Also noted, the local lads love to relieve themselves at night on the Blarney stone and then watch the tourists kiss the stone.
The shamrock was used by st. Patrick to show the pagans he was trying to convert to Christianity that three can be as one, as in the holy trinity, or the three leafs of the shamrock make up the whole.
St. Patrick's Cathedral is located in Dublin, Ireland.
A Leprechaun is noted as a fairy, not a troll, or an imp, or a spirit, but an unsociable fairy.
A Sidhe refers to the earthen mounds that were thought to be home to a supernatural race, or elves.
A Banshee is a mean and nasty female spirit seen as an omen of death and a messenger from hell. Also see Hillary Clinton.
The capital of Ireland is Dublin.
Ireland's population is just over 4 million citizens.
Roman Catholic makes up more than 88% of the population.
Ireland's government type is a Republic.
Life expectancy for Ireland natives is 77.5 years.
Ireland has 1.26 million Internet users.
Ireland uses the Euro as it's currency.
The rock band U2 is from Ireland. So is Van Morrison.
Alas, so are the Irish Rovers, but we're trying to keep that a secret.
What is the name of illegally distilled whiskey in Ireland?
Answer: Poteen.
Irish shipbuilders built the ill fated Titanic.
The local obituaries broadcast is one of the most popular radio shows in Ireland.
Ireland used to be infested with witches. Gladly, the last one was Alice Kytler, from Kilkenny in 1820. She had four husbands, and yes, all four died from suspected poisoning. Kytler's residence still stands, and in fact is an Inn with a restaurant. Be sure to leave a big tip if you know what's good for you.
Ireland once had a huge prostitution problem. Montgomery Street in Dublin was the largest red light district in all of Europe, with almost 2000 ladies of the evening practicing their craft. I don't think any Catholic priests were customers.
Pyramids in Egypt, big deal! The Newgrange passage tomb in County Meath was constructed around 3200 BC, making it more than 600 years older than the Giza Pyramids in Egypt, and 1,000 years older than Stonehenge.
The Vikings founded Dublin in 988 AD. They have yet to win the Superbowl.
In 1800, the population of Ireland was almost twice as large as that of the United States. By the year 2000, America’s population was 60 times that of Ireland. Ask us about the rhythm method.
Ireland was once densely forested, but was practically stripped of all it's tree's in the 17th century. Last known island to do this was Easter Island, the makers of the Maoi statues that adorn the coastline.
The island of Ireland land mass covers 26,598 square miles.
Halloween was brought over to America by the emigrating Irish. Halloween was a druid (Ancient Celts) celebration to ward of evil spirits by dressing up as spirits and using hollowed out ghords lit afire to scare the demons away from the village.
Did you know that Ireland is one of the best spots for surfing? Yes, that's right! Ireland. The West coast of Donegal Bay is completely exposed to the Atlantic ocean, thus allowing the waves to pound the beach. The shape of the bay, (Funnel shaped) the winds intensify the waves increasing the speed and power of the waves creating some of the best surfing conditions in the world.
Beyond The Green Door, a porno movie starring actress Marilyn Chambers, was not made in Ireland. It just had a green door.
John F. Kennedy was the first United States president elected with an Irish Catholic heritage. Kennedy was assassinated in November of 1963. Wonder why no more Irish Catholics candidates became president!
The Quiet Man, filmed in Ireland in 1952 starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara, is one of the most popular movies made.
Hal Roach is Ireland's most famed comedians. Roach has been headlining at Jury's Hotel in Dublin for over a quarter of a century. Write that down!
"You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer."
Hal Roach, comedian.
Waterford Crystal is the home of the world's finest crystal.
Guinness Brewing company has a 9000 year old lease on the factory and land that brews Guinness beer for 45 pounds per year. Tell me Guinness beer is not important to the Irish people.
The largest dog in the world is the Irish Wolfhound.
Eire is the Gaelic name for Ireland.
Legend has it that St. Patrick drove out all the snakes from Ireland. But, Ireland was covered in ice completely during the most recent ice age and everyone knows snakes hate the cold.
Before Patrick became a missionary, he was abducted by pirates and held captive for several years.
The Irish bag pipes have been around for over 2000 years in Ireland. They were known as warpipes, as armies used them to march their soldiers to war. They are often used at Irish funerals with Amazing Grace as the most popular song choice.
What is a bean-jacks in Ireland?
Answer: The ladies restroom.
Bingo wings are flabby underarms on a woman.
What does it mean if an Irish girl wants to give an attractive man a few bob?
Answer: Yes, she wants to have sex with him. Write it down.
Cake Hole! Yes, it's your big mouth. As in shut your cake-hole!
Cock mangers are the public urinals.
Be careful if a man asks to play your flute. A flute is slang for penis.
And yea, I'm not even going to mention River Dancing by Michael Flatley, so I'll merely dance a jig around that subject.
Last but not least, raise a glass to all and yell out,"Slainte!" Slainte is a drinking toast to wish good health.
Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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