9/16/2008

Outback Steakhouse - Filet Mignon

Outback Steakhouse Boardman Ohio
Outback Steakhouse Boardman Ohio
My lovely wife Patty convinced me to go to Outback for dinner. Let it be known there wasn't much convincing to be done, but that's between you and me.

We walked it and got a table right away. they had just opened and plenty of tables were available. The waiter came by and explained the specials and took our drink orders. Yeah! They have Coke Zero!
Outback Steakhouse Filet Mignon And Baked Potato
Outback Steakhouse Filet Mignon And Baked Potato
As you can see, I ordered the filet mignon and baked potato. I was allowed two sides, but the others didn't appeal to me so they doubled up the baked potato.

The filet was excellent. Cooked exactly as ordered. Medium well. It was hot, juicy, and flavorful. It was one of the best steaks I have had. And that is saying a lot. Not an ounce of fat as the entire cut was choice filet. It was served in a timely manner.

The baked potato was well cooked as well. The butter melted through and the bacon bits was a nice added touch. The Coke Zero was a bottomless glass and was refilled twice without asking.

The service was very good, the waitress very attention and knowledgeable and very efficient. The cost was about $20 dollars without tip.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 4.5 out of 5 shots to the Outback Steakhouse and recommends them for lunch and dinner.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9/10/2008

Mirror Image Logo



Yes, Yes, I Know, Shameless Promotion Once Again

The Grassy Knoll Institute will resume it's normal cutting edge investigative reporting tomorrow.

Until then, enjoy the reversed LOTGK logo hidden somewhere in the photo of the woman in lingerie with big boobs.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9/07/2008

Improper Thought Screen Helmet Design

Improper Thought Screen 
Sadly, Lars didn't quite understand the translated instructions for the construction of his thought screen helmet. Clearly, there was no velostat cloth used and the helmet did not cover his ears.

This is the last photo of Lars just before being abducted by an evil race of telepathic aliens bent on world domination. (Heard in the distant background was a hushed alien voice chanting, I want my baby back baby back baby back)

Let this be a lesson learned to everyone being harassed by aliens controlling their thoughts. If you are going to make a thought screen helmet, follow the instructions to the letter.

For those not handy sewing and cutting, the Grassy Knoll Institute has constructed their very own Thought Screen Helmet guaranteed to eliminate telepathic connections from 4 out of 5 evil races of aliens.

Click the above link for the features of the Grassy Knoll Institute thought screen Helmet.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9/03/2008

Fantasy Football League (GPFL)

The NFL regular season kicks off tonight as the Washington Redskins play the Super Bowl champion New York Giants. Millions of Fantasy Football leagues also kick off Thursday. For those that don't know what Fantasy Football is, in a nutshell, a group of friends get together, and by using the rosters of each NFL team, draft players at certain positions that they think will score the most points for the season. each week, the fantasy coaches submit a starting lineup and plays another coach. High score wins the game.

Sounds simple right? Well, actually, it was. I say was for many years back, around 1975, my brother George and I dreamed up our own type of fantasy football. No, our lineups weren't online, (The Internet wasn't around yet) nor did we have complete team lineups with stats from weeks and years past, nor backup or practice squad players. Hell, at the time, we only had access to two games on Sunday.

A Sunday ritual was George and me watching NFL football all day. He was a Browns fan, (I didn't hold that against him) and I of course a Viking fan. We were both very competitive brothers. We made wagers on many things, especially football. Parlay pick four and pick ten teams were played weekly. But we found something a little different. A little more personal. Something we could have bragging rights about.

We would not just bet on the game being played, but on the players individual performances and how many points each would score. The GPFL (George & Pat) Football League was formed.

We quickly came up with some easy rules to avoid any stats wars anomalies. The rules were as follows:
* A coin toss before each game determined who got to pick first.
* 8 positions would be selected.
* You had to pick one, and only one Quarterback, one Kicker, one Tight End, two running backs, two wide receivers, and one defense.
* A $2.50 wager per game was the fee to play. No mercy.
* A TD pass equaled 6 points.
* A TD run equaled 6 points.
* An interception, blocked kick or punt, or fumble return for a TD equaled 6 points.
* A safety equaled 2 points.
* A field goal equaled 3 points.
* An extra point equaled 1 point.
* This stands for all players. Example, if a running back throws a TD pass he is awarded 6 points. If your QB throws a TD pass to your receiver, you will 12 points, 6 points for the pass, and 6 points for the reception.
* After both games are played, (The 1pm and 4pm game) the coach with the highest combined score was declared the winner.
* In case of a tie, the coin flip at the beginning of the day determines the winner.

George and I would play weekly keeping a running win / loss record as well as stats for each game. Everything would be recorded in a spiral notebook pad.

As the weeks turned into years, George and I became very good at our game. We understood each other tendencies, who we would likely pick, stay away from, but most of all, we became Mel Kiper like experts. Not just for our own teams, but for every player in the NFL. We knew the best receivers on each team, what running back came in for goal line plays, what defense was the best, how quarterbacks reacted to other teams defenses, and how a team played in bad weather.

We weren't in it for the money. Remember, we were very competitive. If I won that week, I would always send my brother a letter. Inside the letter would be a picture cut out from the newspaper or magazine of one or more of his team members with either an arm or leg missing and I would add a funny caption or two. I loved to gloat and rub it in. And so did George. He would put signs in the front yard displaying his victory. Other times, he would have his friends call me on the phone claiming to be players on his team. They would say, "Truly the night of the Cardinals." (The Cardinals was the name of his team) At the most unsuspecting time, there would be a note hanging in the closet, taped to my steering wheel, in a cupboard door. You never knew where or when he would pull his prank.

As technology caught up in the 1980's, we added a third and then a fourth game to our mix. ESPN was our third game and Monday Night Football became our fourth game. Strategy became more intense, scores became higher, and the rivalry more intense. The rules remained the same however.

The 1990's saw real change to our league and the rules. We added more coaches, 10 of us in total, and we drafted like the NFL did. We had 15 rounds and after week one, we were able to add three more players to our roster. That would be determined by league record. Worst record picks first. If they deferred, second worse selected, and so on. The players we drafted before the season began were ours for keeps. The next year we would start with those same players making the draft an actual rookie draft and other players cut or waived from our coaches. The USA Today paper became our bible. Whatever the stats said we went with. If there was a typo, it was to bad, the bible was the final say. (Born again Christians must love fantasy football )

The Internet changed things once again. We noticed that many of our rules were the same rules as AOL's fantasy football and Yahoo and CBS sports line. Everything was automated. Scores would magically populate and wins and losses would tally each week. (Electronically they keep the baseball score - Sonny & Cher - The Beat Goes On) Even the gloating became electronic. We would now email our victory smack talk with the push of a few buttons.

My brother George passed away November 20th, 1997. I haven't played our game since. My heart just isn't in it. However, several times over the course of the last 10 years when the New York Yankee's (George's favorite baseball team) or his high school football team, (The Mooney Cardinals) won the World Series or State football Championship, I would stick a yard sign with the newspaper headlines of his teams success on his grave to remind me of the fun we had and that I still miss the hell out of him.

Truly, the night of the Cardinals.
R.I.P. Big George




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9/02/2008

Led Zeppelin IV

Led Zeppelin IV Zoso Record Album
Led Zeppelin IV Zoso Record Album
And She's Buying The Stairway To Heaven


The rock and roll band Led Zeppelin released it's 4th album in 1971. The album does not have a title, nor any other information on the front or back cover to determine the album or band. Only a picture of an old man carrying a load of sticks framed on a dilapidated wall.

Led Zeppelin IV's inside cover doesn't offer any clues to the name of the band as well. It depicts a hooded sorcerer high atop a mountain shining his lamp down upon a distant village. A village worshiper kneels at the base of the mountain pleading to the sorcerer. Some would claim the worshiper are all other rock and roll bands paying homage.

Led Zeppelin IV's back cover. When it is folded back it is a continuation of the front cover showing an end to the jagged wall and a modern ill-repaired city. A lone tall building stands in the background. Again, there is no clue who the record artist or rock band it belongs to.

The front jacket sleeve has four symbols. None of the symbols identify the album or the band. Only at the bottom left is one clue given. The album is produced by Jimmy Page, one of the band members of Led Zeppelin. It also has the song titles of the album.

Side One:
Black Dog
Rock And Roll
The Battle Of Evermore
Stairway To Heaven

Side Two:
Misty Mountain Top
Four Sticks
Going To California
When The Levee Breaks


Everyone of these songs are classics and a staple to every rock and roll radio station. It's very rare that this occurs making this album even more special. Led Zeppelin IV's  back jacket cover had the lyrics of one of the most popular rock and roll songs of all time, "Stairway To heaven." It is written in a fancy English font but not all the words are there. Some incidentals are missing. Here are the lyrics to stairway To Heaven.

There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And shes buying a stairway to heaven.
And when she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and shes buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook
There's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get
When I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And its whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now,
Its just a spring clean for the may queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.

And it makes me wonder.

Ohh, ahh, ohh, ohh.

Your head is humming and it wont go
In case you don't know,
The pipers calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow,
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And shes buying a stairway to heaven.


Only on the actual vinyl record does the bands name and members appear. They are Jimmy page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham. Some state the album title is ZOSO, the letters of the first symbol on the album. I simply call it Zeppelin IV, a legendary rock and roll album from 1971 that not only stands up to the test of time, but obliterates all other competition that proclaims to be the best rock and roll album of all time.

Zoso Led Zeppelin IV Back Cover
Zoso Led Zeppelin IV Back Cover






LURKING AND ROCKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

9/01/2008

Wedgewood Pizza - Large Pizza With Chicken Topping

Wedgewood Pizza Box
Wedgewood Pizza Box
Youngstown Ohio has plenty of pizza shops. (Lord knows I visited all of them) Wedgewood Pizza, located at 6200 South Avenue in Boardman, Ohio is one the better known and better tasting pizza shops.
Wedgewood 16 Inch Chicken Pizza
Wedgewood 16 Inch Chicken Pizza
I ordered a large, (16 inch) with a topping of BBQ chicken on half. As you can see, the pizza was well cooked, and the topping was plentiful. The crust was thick, not doughy, and tasted good. The sauce was zesty and the cheese completely melted covering the entire pie. The chicken was well cooked and the BBQ was tangy. The cost was only $7.50 which is pretty darn good for a large pizza.

This pizza came in a very sturdy box, was well cut, and is one fine tasting pizza.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 4.25 out of 5 shots and recommends Wedgewood Pizza for lunch or dinner.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/28/2008

Crowne Metro Restaurant - Grilled Chicken

Crowne Metro Salad
The Crowne Metro restaurant located inside the Crowne Plaza Hotel located in Rosemont, Illlinois, a suburb of Chicago, is the next stop on our list of critiques.

Upon entering the restaurant, there were only about a dozen people eating. That is a bad sign especially during a trade show when thousands of extra people are in the city. Anyway, we were seated immediately at a table. I ordered the grilled chicken as the main entree and the house salad.

The salad was adequate at best and a little on the bland side. No celery, no bacon, cheese, eggs, olives. Just some lettuce and a few croutons. I wasn't holding out much hope for the chicken.

Grilled Chicken
About 20 minutes later, my dinner arrived. The chicken was cooked well, wasn't juicy, but wasn't dry either. The lemon helped add a little flavor to the chicken. The portion was generous, two medium sized pieces.

The baked potato was average sized and well cooked. Butter was the topping of choice.

The cost was a little steep, $20 dollars without tip.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 2.5 out of 5 stars and barely recommends Crowne Metro for lunch or dinner.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

8/27/2008

Tale Of The Tape

In the 1970's and 80's, my brother George had a complete weight lifting gym in our basement. When I say complete, I mean all the machines and thousands of pounds of weights. There was even a name for the gym.
Geo's Gym.

The gym was open to all of our friends who wanted to lift weights. There were approximately 20 members who frequently came over several times per week. Most were just regular lifters, but a few were serious body builders.

One of the members was Phil, a school mate and friend for many years. He wanted to be the next Mr. Universe and started his training with a vengeance. Phil was dedicated and had a complete plan mapped out. He had wall graphs charting his weight gain and also his vital body measurements. Biceps, chest, waist, legs, and about 25 other body measurements.

George took notice of this and also of the tape measure Phil used and the frequency he measured. (Once a week, every Monday) George, being the prankster, had an idea and brought me and Hoover (Geo's Gym member) into the plan.

On Sunday, George took Phil's measuring tape and soaked it in hot water for an hour. Then he hung it over one of the pull up bars in the ceiling and tied several weight plates to it which would stretch the tape by about a half inch.

On Monday before Phil would arrive, George placed the tape back where Phil kept it. He and Hoover would then wait for Phil to measure his progress.

Phil began with his biceps and stopped and measured it again. In fact, he measured it three times. He had lost a half inch on his biceps. He then went to each body part measurement checking each several times.

When he was finished charting all the results, George asked how he did. Phil said he couldn't figure it out but he lost almost a half inch. George played along and asked to borrow Phil's tape to check his own measurements. He took the tape, flexed his arms and measured his bicep. Lying, He said he gained an 1/8th of an inch from last week. Hoover also said the same.

For about a month, George repeated the routine and Phil couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. And then George changed directions. Instead of soaking the tape in hot water and hanging weights on it, George would soak the tape in cold water and then toss it in the clothes dryer for 20 minutes creating a shorter tape measure. About a half an inch. George then put the tape back and waited for Phil.

Come Monday, Phil began his measurement ritual. After the first measurement, he got all excited as he noticed a big jump in his bicep. When he was finished he told George that he had a break through in his training and that the results were significant. George continued this sequence for about a month.

George kept this up for more than six months, changing the tape making it shorter or longer on a whim all awhile Phil was oblivious to what was really happening.

Alas, all good gags come to an end. One Monday, Phil brought a new measuring tape and tossed out the old one. After he completed his measurements, Phil knew something was wrong. His chart zigzagged up and down each month and now his measurements were again completely different from last weeks. George decided to inform Phil what was happening and that he was being pranked.

George, Hoover, and myself were laughing hysterically as George explained how he would stretch the tape one week and shorten it the next and how Phil would get mad when the measurements were short and excited when they would get big. Phil took the news pretty good. Of course he had to. George was a beast and it was his gym.

Good times, good times.

R.I.P. Big G.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL