I was recently at the Ripley's Aquarium in the Smoky mountains in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. In the shark tank, this one particular sawfish kept circling and then finally settled right above to rest on the glass. As I was watching the fish, (That's what I do when I'm in aquariums) it started moving it's mouth. In that instant, the sawfish looked like Jabba The Hut. I started laughing. I pointed out Jabba to my wife Patty and of course I had to speak the obligatory line, "Bring me Solo and the Wookie!" Watch it again and listen to me state the classic line.
I asked my grandmother to knit me a green sweater for St. Patrick's Day. After two weeks, Grandma sends me this with a note, "I hope it Fits."
At least now I can go and rob the ATM without being recognized.
Irish legend has it that St. Patrick, in order to convert the Celtic people to Christianity, drove all the snakes out of Ireland.
Looks like he missed one.
St. Patrick's Day Tip: Tomorrow when you go searching for the end of the rainbow, what you find at the end isn't always a Leprechaun and his pot of gold.
For the past 23 years Seymore Green has been petitioning the Government of Ireland to change the iconic symbol of the Emerald Island from the shamrock to a stalk of celery. A spokesman for the government released this statement.
It has come to our attention that Mister Seymore Green has made a valiant effort to secure the stalk of celery as Ireland's symbol. We appreciate the effort. However, the Ireland government is not ridgid. We offer a compromise.
If the Minnesota Vikings ever win a Super Bowl, then we will change our iconic shamrock.
Paddy and Mick were working on a local building site when Paddy says to Mick "I can not be bothered working all day. I want to go home." so Paddy climbs to the top of the structure he was working on and hangs upside down on a steel girder. The foreman of the site see's Paddy and comes out of the office and shouts up to him, "Paddy, what the devil do you reckon you're doing up there upside down?"
Paddy looks down at the foreman and says "I'm pretending to be a light bulb!" The foreman scratches his head and yells up to Paddy, "Go home Paddy, you're being stupid today. We don't need you." Paddy climbs down and smiles at Mick as he punches the time clock heading out the door.
Mick decides Paddy had a great idea and tries to follow suit and tells the foreman that he is going home too and begins to put his coat on. As Mick was heading toward the time clock the foreman yells over to Mick, "And where the devil do you think you are going Mick?" Mick replies, "If you think I'm working in the dark that high up you're crazy!"
How does the Catholic church get away with charging so much for a Catholic education?
1) Sexy Irish Catholic Redhead school girl.
2) The sexy Catholic short school uniform.
3) Red patent leather shoes really do reflect up.
4) Erin Goes Braless.
5) Students are frequently in the kneeling position.
Sidenote: If you are looking at the photo above, my logo is hidden somewhere in there.
With St. Patrick's Day fast approaching, everything begins to turn green. The green beer you drink at 5am on March 17th. The green eggs and ham breakfast you shovel down to begin St. Patrick's Day. The green shirts, pants, beads, hats, sweaters, socks, even underwear you wear out to work during the day and the bars at night.
Jumping on the McDonald's Mint green shake bandwagon, the Mars Candy company has recently introduced the 3 Musketeer Mint candy bar just in time for St. Patrick's Day.
When I bought the candy bar above, I was expecting the inside to be green. It was not! I was also expecting it to be the size of the standard chocolate 3 Musketeer bar. It was not. The cost was the same, 79 cents for what you see. Indeed a rip off.
Alas, I guess I paid for the novelty of the "Irish" experience. It's only a matter of time before potatoes are dyed green and served mashed, fried, and raw. Yes, raw. The true Irish understand about raw potatoes.
Megan, a bright young girl, had just finished parochial school. After that horrendous ordeal she felt she was ready for anything so Megan shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York. In a very short time, Megan became a successful performer in show business.
As many Irish folk, eventually Megan returned to her home town for a visit and on Saturday night she went to confession in the church which she had always attended as a child. Father Sullivan was hearing confession that evening and quickly recognized her when she began to speak. Father Sullivan struck up a conversation asking her about her work. Megan explained that she was an acrobatic dancer on Broadway but Father Sullivan didn't quite understand what that meant.
Megan said she would be happy to show him the kind of acrobatic dancing she did on stage. When confession was over, Megan stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, hand springs and backflips. Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies witnessed Megan's acrobatics with wide eyes, and the one said to the other:
"Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"
The Grassy Knoll Institute kicks off the St. Patrick's Day holiday with an Irish tradition. Guinness beer drinking. Not only will there be plenty O Guinness to go around, but we have some very sexy surprises in store this year. Be sure to check back soon to get the latest Irish update and get a glimpse of the hottest girls Ireland has to offer.
The Four Tops, Levi Stubbs, Duke Fakir, Obie Benson, and Lawrence Payton, together for over 40 years. This album is from 1966, where they recorded a live performance at the legendary Roostertail Nite Club in Detroit, Michigan.
As you can see from the cover, this is a “Live” album. A picture of the Four Tops outside of the famed Roostertail dominated the bottom half of the cover. The Motown logo is listed on the bottom right.
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The back cover has informative liner notes written by Scott Regen recalling his experience attending the live performance of that night. A picture at the bottom left is a snap shot of the Four Tops on stage.
The right side has the song title list.
Side One: Introduction, It's The same Old Song, It's Not Unusual, Baby I Need Your Loving, Reach out I'll Be There, I'll Turn To Stone, I left My Heart In San Francisco, You Can't Hurry Love
Side Two: Ask The Lonely, Climb every Mountain, The Girl From Ipanema, If I Had A Hammer, I Can't Help Myself, I Like Everything About You
Four Tops Worn Vinyl Record
The vinyl record has the iconic Motown logo. Reach Out I'll Be There, (Side one, Track five) is one of my all time favorite tunes. The lyrics are below.
Now if you feel that you can't go on (can't go on),
Because all of your hope is gone (all your hope is gone),
And your life is filled with much confusion (much confusion),
Until happiness is just an illusion (happiness is just an illusion),
And your world around is crumbling down, darlin',
(Reach out) Come on girl reach on out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
I'll be there with a love that will shelter you,
I'll be there with a love that will see you through,
When you feel lost and about to give up (to give up),
Cause your life just ain't good enough (just ain't good enough),
And your feel the world has grown cold (has grown cold),
And your drifting out all on your own (drifting out on your own),
And you need a hand to hold, darlin'
(Reach out) Come on girl reach out for me,
(Reach out) Reach out for me,
Hah, I'll be there to love and comfort you,
And I'll be there to cherish and care for you,
(I'll be there to always see you through,
I'll be there to love and comfort you),
I can tell the way you hang your head (hang your head),
Your not in love now, now your afraid (you're afraid),
And through the tears you look around (look around),
But there's no piece of mind to be found (no piece of mind to be found),
I know what your thinking,
You're alone now, no love of your own, but darling,
(Reach out) Come on girl reach out for me,
Reach out (Reach out).......... just look over your shoulder,
I'll be there to give you all the love you need,
And I'll be there you can always depend on me,
I'll be there to always see you through,
I'll be there to love and comfort you
Giant Alien sighting today in the biggest little city in the World, Reno, Nevada. A day before the Reno National Championship Air Races a giant alien female wandered onto the air strip and began to inspect several of the aircraft.
The Grassy Knoll Institute believes the female alien was taking inventory during a recon mission to size up the firepower of the area. An imminent attack is quite possible as the aliens attempt to pinpoint the location of the very secretive military base, Area 51.
Over the past several weeks, interesting reports have been coming in from several small communities in Arkansas as thousands of birds dropped dead from the sky in mass while over one hundred thousand dead fish washed ashore with little explanation.
News reports claim perhaps fireworks celebrations or high altitude lightning were the cause, but that doesn't explain the dead fish nor the second event of birds dying.
The Grassy Knoll Institute did some digging around in the towns of Beebe and Ozark Arkansas, where these mass deaths have occurred and found townsfolk are talking more about the bright and wonderful light show in the sky that has been going on for over a month. Eye witnesses report that almost every night around 11PM orange and white orbs appear in the sky and seem to float effortlessly across the horizon. Some people described them as almost being biological in nature, as if they were alive, and not mechanical.
The Grassy Knoll Institute operatives were intrigued and decided to set up camp in a quiet clearing outside the town of Ozark with a unobsctructed view of the night sky. At precisely 11:01PM our camera's started rolling and recorded the following 45 seconds of film showing orange orbs slowly rising from the lake and gracefully rising into the night sky.
What we captured is unknown at this time, as the footage was flown to our secret lab for analysis. Until a complete analysis is completed, we can only speculate what we witnessed and will let you be the judge. The film is below.
We believe that the birds were attracted to the soothing glowing orbs and flew into them meeting their fate. As the birds flew into the swarm of lights, they became confused and scattered flying erratic and knocking into themselves falling to their death. Also observed was a pulsing electromagnetic energy emanating from the center of the orbs that perhaps when the birds came in contact with them killed them instantly.
Concerning the fish, perhaps while the orbs were in the lake water, the fish in the surrounding area were electrocuted by the pulse forcing them to wash up on shore. Why is the government keeping this part of the story out of the news? Is the government attempting to cover up the obvious UFO connection to the deaths of these birds and fish? The grassy Knoll Institute will answer these questions as soon as the film footage is fully analyzed.
A few days before Christmas Patty and I went out Christmas shopping and on our way back home, we stopped to look at some Christmas lights. Sorry for the below quality pictures, these were all shot with my HTC Hero phone. Enjoy the photos.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, Keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them,
Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
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