Colonel Sanders Alive And Well

This just in!

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and icon of the fast food restaurant, dead for over 20 years, was photographed today shaking George Clooney's hand during a red carpet Hollywood event.

Apparently Sanders faked his death and has been living large in the great state of Montana with Jim Morrison, Elvis, and D.B. Cooper.

Rumor was that Elvis paid a kings ransom to fake Sanders death because he couldn't live without the secret recipe fried chicken dinners.

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Putting On My Jester Hat

Tomorrow is April 1st. And that means it's also April Fools Day which just happens to be the Grassy Knoll Institutes "Feast Day!" It is the one day out of the year that we get serious with current events and news stories.

I have already pulled out my Jester hat, (My wife Patty says its the same hat I wear every day) (I think in a way she is calling me a fool) and I am ready to deliver the news as only the Curator can. Some of you have made the news. Some I have had mercy on. And some I tread ever so lightly with.

Either way, the updates begin at midnight EST, and will continue until midnight tomorrow. (Thats 24 hours for those keeping score at home)

It is in your best interest to click here:

April Fools Day Archives to keep abreast of all the breaking news as this site will be updating at least once an hour beginning at 8am (I need some sleep people, I am not an animal, I am a human being) with at least 20 updates. Twenty one if you are in Vegas.

And remember, I am only the Curator. If you have a complaint, please email the (Lead Scientist) and let him have it with both barrels.

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Apple Barn Restaurant - Chicken Strip Dinner - Gatlinburg

Apple Barn Chicken Strip Dinner

Right to the main course this time. The Apple Barn restaurant was a favorite place of mine in Pigeon Forge. Imagine my delight when they opened one right on the strip in Gatlinburg. It looks exactly the same outside and inside of the original restaurant. And the food and service, yes, just the same. Excellent.

As you can see, I ordered the fried chicken planks with all the fixins. The chicken was golden brown and tasted excellent. An ample portion was served. You were not going away hungry from this restaurant.

Also with the main course was a baked potato with real butter, a bowl of macaroni and cheese, which was creamy and delicious, and a hot fresh roll with butter.

Apple Barn Menu

Of course, this is the menu, which was clean and easy to read. I hate receiving a menu that has dirt or crud on it. It makes me suspect the food they are preparing in the kitchen. If the menu is dirty, more than likely so is the food.

Apple Barn Apple Fritters

Brought out first were the apple fritters and juice along with several rolls with jelly and butter. Not wanting to fill up before the main course, I only had one.

Apple Barn Chicken Noodle Soup

Although the picture is a little out of focus, the chicken noodle soup was right on. It tasted like home made, with big noodles and chunks of chicken and carrots in a thick broth all steaming hot. A cold, crisp coke completed the meal.

Over all, the waitress was very friendly, helpful, and professional. We were seated quite quickly, and on a busy evening, that doesn't happen all the time. The cost was very reasonable, about 15 dollars before tip.

The Grassy Knoll Institute awards 4.5 out of 5 shots to the Apple Barn restaurant and recommends eating lunch and dinner there.

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Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas

Welcome back Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute

I'm on my way once again to fabulous Las Vegas for yet another business trip. While the lead scientist is finishing up his business in Florida, I am heading West to the neon desert.

And look, Las Vegas knows I'm coming....

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St. Patricks Day Sexy Irish Waitress 2008

Irish Barmaids

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2008 from all the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute.

Please be careful and assign a designated driver tonight.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Irish Language Lost In Translation

The Irish speak English. Not the kings English, not the American English, but a dialect all their own. Sometimes you must pay close attention to what they are saying and many times what the commentator is saying has a completely different meaning to others. Here are some examples.....

At a women's weightlifting tournament:
Next up is Shannon O'Malley... I saw her snatch this
morning and it was amazing.

At an Irish horse race event:
Tis really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

At a soccer championship game:
He's pulling him off! The manager is pulling his
captain off!

Soccer player interview:
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.

Announcer At Ireland's race speedway:
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it
which is identical.

Interview at a charity event:
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Commentator at boxing event:
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none
of them serious.

Irish TV Weatherman:
If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same
thing again.

At an Irish football game:
"I would not say he is the best left winger in
the Premiership, but there are none better."

Commentator at a boat race:
Ah, isn't that lovely indeed, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.

Commentator at an indoor track meet:
O'Toole has four fastest 1500-meter times ever. And all those
times are at 1500 meters.

Commentator at soccer field:
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks
on the field.

Commentator reporting the news:
"And later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..."

Irish betting:
"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."

Irish observation at a soccer game:
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in
the air for even longer."

Irish interview with a retiring sports star:
"What will you do when you leave the sport of soccer? Will you stay in soccer?"

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Irish Comedian Hal Roach Passing

Hal Roach, Ireland's finest comedian, spins some yarns about the people of Ireland and how we walk and talk and conduct business. enjoy.

This Irish fella Murphy walked into a Macy's store and asked the sales clerk to show him the cheapest suit in the store.
The sales clerk replied, "You're wearing it."

Did you hear about the Kerry man who was disqualified at the annual tug of war contest?
He was pushing!

When reading the Irish obituaries, sometimes you have to read very carefully as certain words have different meanings.
Example:
To my husband Shamus O’ Shawnessey, May he rest in peace, Until we meet again!

Sometimes when the Irish talk amongst themselves, we answer a question first, and then we ask it. Examples:
You won't be having a drink with me will ya Paddy?
You're not going out are you?
Have you not gone home yet? (As he sees me at the bar)

I was traveling in County Mayo late one evening and stopped outside a little boarding house. I knocked on the door and a second later the top floor window opened and a woman yelled down, "What do you want so late in the evening?" I asked, "Could I stay here for the evening?" The woman yelled down to me, "YES!" and then closed the window.

Addendum:
Sadly, Hal Roach, Ireland's international comedian, passed away this morning, February 28th, 2012. Mr. Roach was 84 years old.
May he have been in Heaven an hour before the devil knew he was dead.

I'm sure the first question he asked St. Peter at the pearly gates was, "Is that yourself?"

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Irish Hospital Charts - Be Very Afraid

Ireland has free health care to all it's citizens. And by reading some of these hospital charts, I can see why.

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused autopsy.

The patient has no previous history of suicides.

Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

She is numb from her toes down.

Patient has exhibited occasional constant infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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