 |
| All He Could Muster Was Not A Finga |
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Please drive safely this holiday season.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Showing posts with label lotgk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lotgk. Show all posts
12/24/2010
Bumpuses Sons Of Bitches
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Please drive safely this holiday season.
12/21/2010
Minnesota Vikings Most Popular Christmas Ornament
 |
| Minnesota Vikings Most Popular Christmas Ornament |
For the 2010 Christmas season, this is the most popular decoration purchased in the state of Minnesota. “Fired” Childress pot warmers are running a close second.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all the Vikings fans, a very good quarterback in the draft.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Responses to “Most Popular Decoration In Minnesota”
- December 22, 2010 at 10:13 am e
Gumby said
Where can I get my hands on a pair of those pot warmers?-
December 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm eChildress has a retail kiosk in the Mall Of America open through the Christmas holiday.
-
December 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm e
- December 28, 2010 at 8:30 am e
Valdunagan said
That is the Viking season in a nutshell, or gingerbread house. The roof came crashing in on them. I think Jenn Sterger had Favre’s mind somewhere else and that is why he had such a terrible season.-
December 29, 2010 at 8:36 am eVery valid points. Favre was off his game the entire season. Perhaps realizing that his marriage, career, and golden boy status could go up in flames had his mind somewhere other than the blitzing linebacker.
-
December 29, 2010 at 8:36 am e
- January 3, 2011 at 1:26 pm e
Anti-Christ said
I told you last year that Brett Favre and I had a one year deal. He wanted the deal extended, but a contract is a contract.-
January 3, 2011 at 10:42 pm eWhen is Jenn Stergers contract up?
-
January 3, 2011 at 10:42 pm e
9/30/2010
Amber Heard - Sci Fi Sexy Siren
 |
| Amber Heard - Science Fiction Sexy Siren |
Sci-Fi Sexy Sirens brought to you by the Grassy Knoll Institute marketing team to boost readership and placement on search engines.
Lurking On The Grassy Knoll
6/10/2010
Geneva On The Lake Lighthouse
Perhaps this very lighthouse was witness to the Edmund Fitzgerald freighter leaving port from Cleveland, Ohio to begin it's final voyage destined for Whitefish Bay in Canada. On November 10th, 1975, as Gordon Lightfoot sang,
"And later that night,
When his lights went out of sight,
Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
4/18/2010
Grassy Knoll Institute Spring Break
Vanna White is Safe!
Spring Break is over and it's back to work for the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute.Can you spot the Grassy Knoll Institute logo?
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
2/08/2010
Smoking Cigarettes Causes Cancer
Did you ever notice how the old cigarette magazine and bill board ads had a design flow. The readers eyes would automatically flow to the sexy woman seductively holding the cigarette gently stroking it. Even the the print dialog drew your eyes toward one spot on the page, the cigarette and the sexy woman. The reason for this was to keep the reader from seeing the Surgeon's General's warning that smoking causes cancer.
So, can you spot my logo in this picture?
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
2/01/2010
Stump The Neener - Volume 55
It’s Time To Play Stump The Neener Volume #55
2010 rolls out the newest edition of Stump The Neener. As usual, it is up to you to analysis the photo above and guess what famous person it is associated with. As usual I will offer a clue to get everyone started. The sign says it all.
Now give me your best answer and see if you can Stump The Neener.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
11/26/2009
Happy Thanksgiving From The Grassy Knoll
 |
| Happy Thanksgiving From The Knuckleheads Of The Grassy Knoll Institute |
Happy Thanksgiving
From The Knuckleheads Of The Grassy Knoll Institute
Any brave souls venturing out on Black Friday, the kick-off of the Christmas retail season tomorrow?
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
9/16/2009
Ford F-150 Truck LOTGK Logo
Notice the LOTGK logo on this Ford F-150 rim. The rims were dirty and I used my finger to print the logo on them hoping this would spark Patrick, Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute, to perhaps utilize the water hose and bucket and wash the truck.
I was wrong!!!
Hey look, you can see my reflection in the chrome rim of the tire.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
9/13/2009
Release The Kracken
This particular brand of stink bomb doesn't do the word "Stink" justice. When you break the vial an unbearable stench fills the air in a matter of seconds and lingers for 20-30 minutes. To flee the vicinity is the only recourse to save yourself. Hence, the stink bomb is strictly forbidden at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute.
A little while ago one rocket scientist (Joe) had a pack of stink bombs on his desk. He was playfully threatening the other employees saying he was going to break one of those puppies open and throw it at random workers passing by unless someone went to get lunch for him for a change. (No one went for him)
After about 20 minutes of this, (Yes, we were all working really hard at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute that day) a very high level executive walked into Joe's office and grabbed one of the stink bombs and smashed it on Joe's desk and ran out laughing. Seconds later the stench wafted through the office and everyone was covering their nose and screaming. Big industrial fans were positioned to slowly pull the stench out of the office. (Joe decided to go to lunch. "Hey Joe, can you pick me up something since you're going to be out!")
A memo came out the next day banning stink bombs from the office forever. However, just the other day a certain Curator strategically placed a stink bomb under the toilet seat in the Men's room and then gingerly put the seat down. I then exited and waited for an unlucky victim.
Within minutes the Kracken (The stink bomb glass was broken releasing the vile liquid) was released and the bathroom filled up with the unbearable stench. Like a scene from the science fiction 1950's movie, "The Blob," people were running away from the bathroom and hallway seeking safety.
The next day yet another memo was issued stating, "We really mean it this time, no more stink bombs permitted at the secret lair of the Grassy Knoll Institute.
Business as usual. :D
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
5/11/2009
Puffy Clouds Logo
Some people see animals in cloud formations. Some see planes, trains, and automobiles. And some see the LOTGK logo. What do you see?
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/29/2009
Hey Donkey
Usually, I know what hall the show is located in and the name of the company I will be assisting, the personnel in the booth, and the booth row and booth number. That wasn't the case for this show.
All I knew is the that it was located in the Nashville convention center and I was to be there Friday and Saturday. I asked my colleague how was I going to find where I needed to go.
He said he knew the first name of the contact, (Mike) but not the company name he was exhibiting under because they went under several names. However, he said I wouldn't have any problem finding the booth. He said to walk into the show and listen for a man that sounded like Shrek!
Shrek! WTF? I asked, "That's it! That's how I'm supposed to find the booth? By listening for a man that sounded like the Disney cartoon character Shrek?" He assured me that I would have no problem.
My flight to Nashville was uneventful and I checked into my hotel and went to find Shrek in the convention center. Thankfully, this trade show was a small one, only about 300 vendors and about 600 booths lined up in 10 rows. (Some shows have thousands of vendors and thousands of booths)
I decided to start at the first row and work my way around the show. I walked up the aisle slowly listening to the people talking hoping to hone in on the Shrek voice. No luck in row one. None in row two or three either. As I turned the corner of row four, I heard a man talking very loud. With an accent. A Scottish accent. I heard him say, "Hey donkey, that's not where that goes." A few seconds later I came face to face with Shrek. He was talking up a storm and he sounded exactly like Shrek. And looked a lot like him as well. A blockhead, big ogre type shoulders, tall, round stick out ears, just sans the green coloring. Give him a club and he could double as Shrek.
I started laughing out loud. Shrek, (Mike) turned around and stopped what he was doing for a moment and sized me up. He then said, "Oh, look at the funny man. Who are you supposed to be?" I told him I was Patrick and was here to help him. He said, "Oh, that's just great!" I told him, "Just don't call me donkey there Shrek!"
My colleague forgot to tell me that Mike (Shrek) didn't like to be compared to the cartoon character. Mike clammed up for a moment, gave me one of those upset looks that Shrek did and folded his arms and just stared at me. I couldn't help it. I said, "Hey look, it's Cameron Diaz!" (Princess Fiona, Shrek's love interest) All weekend long I called him Shrek. After a while, he got used to it.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/14/2009
12/04/2008
Banksy Art Logo
Graffiti artist Banksy has many murals and art work adorning walls around the world. For some reason, this is one of our favorites.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
11/27/2008
A Line In The Sand
 |
| A Line In The Sand |
I'd much rather be on the beach.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
11/20/2008
Dealey Plaza - Grassy Knoll Logo
This is "Thee" Grassy Knoll. The infamous icon located on the fringe of Dealey Plaza, where president John Kennedy was assassinated on November 22nd, 1963. The conspiracy goes that Oswald was positioned on the sixth floor of the School Book Depository and another shooter was on the grassy knoll. Both assassins fired at the president to ensure a successful mission.
The rest is conjecture, conspiracy, and history.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
R.I.P. Big G 11/20/1997
9/10/2008
Mirror Image Logo
Yes, Yes, I Know, Shameless Promotion Once Again
The Grassy Knoll Institute will resume it's normal cutting edge investigative reporting tomorrow.
Until then, enjoy the reversed LOTGK logo hidden somewhere in the photo of the woman in lingerie with big boobs.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
8/27/2008
Tale Of The Tape
Geo's Gym.
The gym was open to all of our friends who wanted to lift weights. There were approximately 20 members who frequently came over several times per week. Most were just regular lifters, but a few were serious body builders.
One of the members was Phil, a school mate and friend for many years. He wanted to be the next Mr. Universe and started his training with a vengeance. Phil was dedicated and had a complete plan mapped out. He had wall graphs charting his weight gain and also his vital body measurements. Biceps, chest, waist, legs, and about 25 other body measurements.
George took notice of this and also of the tape measure Phil used and the frequency he measured. (Once a week, every Monday) George, being the prankster, had an idea and brought me and Hoover (Geo's Gym member) into the plan.
On Sunday, George took Phil's measuring tape and soaked it in hot water for an hour. Then he hung it over one of the pull up bars in the ceiling and tied several weight plates to it which would stretch the tape by about a half inch.
On Monday before Phil would arrive, George placed the tape back where Phil kept it. He and Hoover would then wait for Phil to measure his progress.
Phil began with his biceps and stopped and measured it again. In fact, he measured it three times. He had lost a half inch on his biceps. He then went to each body part measurement checking each several times.
When he was finished charting all the results, George asked how he did. Phil said he couldn't figure it out but he lost almost a half inch. George played along and asked to borrow Phil's tape to check his own measurements. He took the tape, flexed his arms and measured his bicep. Lying, He said he gained an 1/8th of an inch from last week. Hoover also said the same.
For about a month, George repeated the routine and Phil couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. And then George changed directions. Instead of soaking the tape in hot water and hanging weights on it, George would soak the tape in cold water and then toss it in the clothes dryer for 20 minutes creating a shorter tape measure. About a half an inch. George then put the tape back and waited for Phil.
Come Monday, Phil began his measurement ritual. After the first measurement, he got all excited as he noticed a big jump in his bicep. When he was finished he told George that he had a break through in his training and that the results were significant. George continued this sequence for about a month.
George kept this up for more than six months, changing the tape making it shorter or longer on a whim all awhile Phil was oblivious to what was really happening.
Alas, all good gags come to an end. One Monday, Phil brought a new measuring tape and tossed out the old one. After he completed his measurements, Phil knew something was wrong. His chart zigzagged up and down each month and now his measurements were again completely different from last weeks. George decided to inform Phil what was happening and that he was being pranked.
George, Hoover, and myself were laughing hysterically as George explained how he would stretch the tape one week and shorten it the next and how Phil would get mad when the measurements were short and excited when they would get big. Phil took the news pretty good. Of course he had to. George was a beast and it was his gym.
Good times, good times.
R.I.P. Big G.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
8/06/2008
An Exact Moment In Kennedy History
 |
| An Exact Moment In Time |
At this exact moment, Richard Nixon was thinking, (Someday, I’m going to blow his motherfucking head off.)
And the rest is history…. Or conspiracy.
7 Responses to “Exact Moment In History”
- August 6, 2008 at 12:09 pm e
Anti-Christ said
This may be your best caption ever. - August 6, 2008 at 12:20 pm e
Gumby said
LMFAO!
I bet he was thinking that. Kennedy was kicking his ass and the camera kept showing Nixon all sweaty and nervous. - August 6, 2008 at 12:39 pm e
Max Jackl said
And kill his brother Bobby as well. - August 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm e
SIGHTER said
MARVELOUS! SIMPLY MARVELOUS. GLAD I RETURNED. -
August 6, 2008 at 11:44 pm eReturned? From where?
- August 8, 2008 at 9:36 am e
Gumby said
From the perch on the grassy knoll. Thats where. -
August 9, 2008 at 8:56 pm eMISSION ACCOMPLISHED
7/17/2008
Blond Ambition Logo
Please have a look at the above picture. I have hidden the LOTGK logo somewhere in the photo. Only highly trained picture glyph specialists will be able to spot it.
Take your time. Study the picture. Get up close and personal with it. Stare at the photo. Ask yourself questions like, "Does this model work at Hooters?" and "Where did she get her piercings?" and "Why the orange hat?" Perhaps these questions will help you find the hidden logo.
Good luck!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Gumby said
LOTGK said
Merry christmas and Happy Holidays to you as well my green friend.
Valdunagan said
LOTGK said
Actually, I don’t know where it is.
Jill said
LOTGK said