Best Melons Winner 2011 - Bumble Bee

Bee-autiful Melons

This 2011 Melons harvest workers were buzzing around like worker bee's to bring you the best and ripest melons you have ever had the pleasure to see. As with all contests, there must be a winner and our beautiful Queen Bee is this years Best Halloween Melons. Congratulations to all the contestants and their lovely melons.

Happy Halloween

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Best Halloween Costume Winner 2011 - Stone Cold Sexy

Back in late January, I was at the Halloween trade show hosted in Houston, Texas. This trade show caters to everything Halloween with literally thousands of booths selling costumes, candy, decorations, props, and even True Blood and Zombie Blood energy drinks.

Throughout the show aisles, there were hundreds of full-sized movie props. I spied a life-like Michael Myers from the movie Halloween, Freddy Kruegger from Nightmare On Elm Street, Jason from Friday The 13th, even the Stay Puft Marshmallow man. And of course some very sexy women dressed is adult Halloween costumes.

My company was located on one of the main aisle rows but our view was obscured by a granite statue of a woman with wings attached. The statue was set atop a granite pedestal. As work would have it, the show was under way and the floor got plenty busy with buyers looking for the best Halloween deals.

About a half hour later I took a glance down the row and saw our statue. But something was different. The statue had moved. The position and pose was different.

I immediately thought of the English Television science fiction program, Doctor Who. In one episode the Doctor battled a race of aliens who were “Live” statues. As long as you were looking at the alien statues, they wouldn’t move. But take your eyes off them for just one second and they would move against you. It was exactly what my statue was doing. (Yes, this statue was now mine. I would know it’s secrets)

Another hour passed and the statue had changed several positions but never at a time when I was watching. A little while later, a show employee came over to the statue and to my amazement, she stepped down off the pedestal with the employee’s help and walked away. Holy shit! It wasn’t a statue at all, but a woman. She must have amazing muscle control to stay completely still for long periods of time.

Sixty minutes or so passed and the statue girl returned. The employee helped her back on the pedestal and she assumed a pose. I decided to put her to the test. I made eye contact with her and gave her the universal signal of “I’ve got my eyes on you” (Two finger peace sign pointing to your eyes and quickly rotating them to point at the person you were watching.) She was now on notice and I would see her move.

Continuing to watch, many people walked by and were astonished at how life-like the statue girl was. Many people took almost the same photograph as the photo’s above. Some would talk to her hoping to make her move. I likened it to tourists attempting to make the English Royal Guards at Buckingham Palace smile or move. She did not fail. She stood tall and proud. And damn it, I didn’t see her move again until the employee came to assist her down for her break.

Our dance continued for the rest of the day. Me trying to get a glimpse of her moving and changing positions and she being a perfect statue. I finally got a break late in the day and went over to talk to her. Having observed the other people who attempted to do the same, I knew it would be a one way conversation.

As I approached her, I could see her eyes shifted and she was looking at me. I asked her a favor, and said I would certainly understand if she couldn’t grant my request. After all, this was her job.

What I asked was: I would like my buddy to take a picture of her and me. Not just a standard picture that everyone else was taking but a unique one. I told her that I was going to turn my back to her and when I did, I wanted her to change her pose and pretend to strangle me. (Secretly she was probably thinking that anyway)

She didn’t speak or move except for a sly wink of her eye to me which I took as a yes. The above photo is the result of my request.

Happy Halloween

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Halloween Costume Contest #7 - Hidden Zombie

Have You Seen My Zombie!!!

A very cheap and easy Halloween costume that will guarantee you to be the talk of the holiday party. Let your friends read your T-Shirt and then flash them pulling your shirt up revealing your zombie side. (And more importantly, your ample melons) A crowd pleaser for sure for this Halloween party.

Happy Halloween

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Ultimate Lady Joker Halloween Costume

Gemma Massey, international glamour model and Blue Bird films actress got all dressed up for one of her films as Jokette, or as I like to call her, Lady Joker. Gemma makes our list once again as Halloween Costume Contestant #6. Enjoy the photo’s…



Happy Halloween

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Best Halloween Costume #4 - Tits In A Box

With the hugely (That's what she said) successful Justin Timberlake / Adam Sandberg Dick-In-A-Box SNL skit, it was only a matter of time before the female version made it's way into a Halloween costume. 

Step Number One: Cut two holes in the box...

Happy Halloween

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Best Halloween Costume #3 - A Pink Nightmare

One of the most popular Christmas holiday movies is the 1983 hit, A Christmas Story. Over the years it has become a cult classic as replica’s of the props from the movie have become sought after gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I have the leg lamp.

In the past several years, A Christmas Story has filtered into the Halloween Holiday. The Pink Nightmare, (Ralphies Christmas present from his aunt, a complete pink colored bunny suit made for a girl) a full sized leg lamp, and the FRAGILE crate the leg lamp was delivered in.

I guarantee that you will see one of these Halloween costumes at one of your parties this October.

Happy Halloween

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And Nothing Will Ever Be The Same

It's astounding, Time is fleeting, Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely... Not for very much longer.
I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time-warp, Drinking those moments when,
The Blackness would hit me, And the void would be calling...
Let's do Halloween again.
Let's do Halloween again.

With a bit of a mind flip the 2011 Halloween season is upon us. Haunted houses are already on their second weekend, decorations dot residential houses, hay rides are at capacity, and the Halloween Dark Zone is dying to reveal the hottest adult Halloween costumes, plus home grown giant melons, urban legends, demons, ghosts, and all things Halloween.

Check the Dark Zone frequently as we will be updating continuously throughout the month of October.

And nothing will ever be the same.

Happy Halloween

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Gemma Massey - Sexiest Catholic Nun

Gemma Massey - Sexiest Catholic Nun Ever

 I Met Gemma Massey at the Chicago Halloween trade show in March of 2007. She was modeling sexy Halloween costumes. (Photo Above: Sexiest Catholic Nun Ever) Gemma is a professional model, (As if you couldn't tell) and the new face of the very popular Mac and Bumble website. Yea Baby Yea!

She can be found at her Myspace address. Go and check her out. Plenty of photo's and information about Gemma including where she will be appearing next.

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