2/02/2010

Lost Update: Coming Into Los Angeles


Lost Update - Season Six - 02/02/2010

Coming in from London
From over the pole
Flying in a big airliner
Chickens flying everywhere around the plane
Could we ever feel much finer?


Coming into Los Angeles
Bringing in a couple of keys
Don't touch my bags if you please
Mister Customs Man


There's a guy with a ticket to Mexico
No, he couldn't look much stranger
Walking in the hall with his things and all
Smiling, said he was the Lone Ranger


Hip woman walking on a moving floor
Tripping on the escalator
There's a man in the line
And she's blowing his mind
Thinking that he's already made her


Coming in from London
From over the pole
Flying in a big airliner
Chickens flying everywhere around the plane
Could we ever feel much finer?


Season Six began just as season one began. On Flight 815. Only this time around, this scenario had a different outcome. Jack was on the plane, and he noticed that something was different, and it appeared he experienced a Deja Vu event. Or so he thought. The plane encountered turbulence but it lands safely at its destination, Los Angeles, California. Has the storyline changed so dramatically that the plane crash never occurred, that the castaways never met, Locke is still wheel chair bound, no Ben, no time travel, no Hanso, Dharma, Richard, no Juliet and her impressive rack, no smoke monster, and no island?

Hardly!!!

Let me tell you what it means. In essence, it means Jack won the game, or lost the game, depending on your perspective and he has proceeded to the next level. Juliet reset the game. The virtual reality parameters. To the next experiment. The next level. And that my faithful Lost readers is what my Lost theory is all about.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I’ve been telling you for six years now but here it is again…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are inter-connected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Lets get one thing straight. In season five, the lost castaways were simultaneously living in at least three time lines, if not more. (50's, 70's, 2000's) With that, they broke all the laws of physics and several traffic laws. Season six brings them all back together, in one time line. When that is, only I know.

As I stated above, in tonight's episode, flight 815 lands safely in Los Angeles. Desmond disappears from the flight, Charlie is hauled away in handcuffs for possession of drugs, Kate is escorted off by the Federal Marshal, Sayid, Sawyer, and Hurley disembark, Jin and Sun have trouble at the customs line. Locke is assisted off the plane in a wheel chair. Jack gets bad news that his fathers coffin is missing.

Tonight, a new scenario was introduced to the castaways. A what if scenario as in what if the plane didn't crash. What would happen to the castaways. This is their new experiment.

Let's start with Kate. She is escorted off the plane after stealing a pen while still seated. She insists on using the bath room so she can unlock her cuffs. She succeeds and smashes the federal Marshal knocking him unconscious. She then flees and escapes. Doing what she has done her entire life. Perhaps a little respit on the island can refocus what really matters in life.

John Locke is next. Instead of waking up on the island with the miracle of being able to walk again, the plane lands and he is assisted off the plane in a wheel chair. He interacts with jack during a claim for lost baggage. Jack offers a free consultation concerning Locke's condition.

Jack continues life as well. The airlines lost his fathers coffin and he has to file a claim for it. He just wanted to get it over with in a hurry and move on in life. Time spent on the island may offer Jack some redemption, some insight on what his father meant to him.

Charlie almost dies in the planes bath room choking on a bad of heroin he swallowed. Jack saves him but charlie asks why he did that. He was supposed to die. On the island, Charlie kicked his drug habit, became an important part of the island society and gave his life to save the others.

Jin and sun were hassled at customs about the watch Jin received as a gift and the excess amount of money he failed to declare. He was hauled off by the authorities. Sun saw her chance to be free from Jin and clammed up. Perhaps some time stranded on the island with her husband would rekindle their marriage spark, help them work things out.

Here's a hint folks. What you saw tonight, the successful landing of flight 815, is how the series finale of Lost ends. The passengers will know each other on the plane, as if they have known each other for years. But one thing will be changed. Their lives have turned to good fortune. Kate is not in custody, jack is not burying his father, Locke is not in a wheel chair, etc. Trust me when I say this. (Ben, you can attest to my knowledge of the show as I have proven tonight.) You just saw the ending to the show.

But wait, there's more. Juliet had something important to tell Sawyer before she died. Miles relayed the message to Sawyer. The message: It worked! As in, Juliet exploded the bomb, giving her life, the ultimate sacrifice, to save Sawyer and the castaways from all the sorrow they were going to endure. Game won. The castaways made the right moves and won. Next experiment. Move on. New scenario.

Jacob had been waiting for this to happen for a long time. It finally paid off. The group coming together for a common goal, selfless sacrifice, for love, honor, for all the right reasons. Just like a video game. When you win you receive a prize, a trophy, and then you reset the game and increase the difficulty level. I stated this exact scenario more than a year ago.

Tidbits From Tonight's Episode:
* The flight attendant who gave Jack one bottle of booze instead of two, she was in with the temple group. She recognized them by stating, "They were on the first plane!"

* Sayid is dead.

* Imposter Locke equals the Man in black equals the Smoke Monster. Did you see that demonic stare from him as he told Ben he wanted to go home.

* The Smoke monster kicked ass in the temple.

* Richard gets his ass kicked by Imposter Locke. He was in chains before. Perhaps a prisoner on the Black Rock.

* Weep. Juliet is dead. But fear not. She and her rack will appear once more before the series finale.

* So who are the temple guys? And was the water some sort of fountain of youth that has healing properties.

Tonight, the castaways got a taste of their original lives. And the taste was bitter. If you had to choose between tonight's scenario or crashing on the island, which would you select?

Lost Update: Addendum 02/04/2010

One more point to drive home my theory of virtual reality and alien intervention. Remember Ben and the Man in Black, MIB talking at the end of the episode. Ben asks him, "What do you want?" MIB simply replies, "I want to go home!"

Jacob and MIB have been at it for quite some time. Perhaps hundreds of years. Repeating the same experiment over and over again with always the same results. Remember this exchange in season five between MIB and Jacob, on the beach, watching the Black Rock sail in.

MIB: You’re still trying to prove me wrong.
Jacob: You are wrong!
MIB: They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
Jacob: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it’s just progress.


Well, MIB has had enough. He believes enough data has been collected on the human race and any further experiments would be futile. He wants to pack it all in and return home. Alas, Jacob is expecting and wanting a different outcome, a best case scenario, which never occurred in any of the study groups. And he doesn't want to leave until he gets it right. Hence, MIB's exasperation.

The comments section is open. What say you all......


LURKING, STILL LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

2/01/2010

Stump The Neener - Volume 55




It’s Time To Play Stump The Neener Volume #55

2010 rolls out the newest edition of Stump The Neener. As usual, it is up to you to analysis the photo above and guess what famous person it is associated with. As usual I will offer a clue to get everyone started. The sign says it all.

Now give me your best answer and see if you can Stump The Neener.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/30/2010

Prince - 1999 - 1982

Prince 1999 Record Album
Prince 1999 Record Album
I promised to rescue more old vinyl records from my basement this year than the measly three critiques from 2009. To kick off 2010, we'll start with an album titled 1999, written and produced by Prince, who would be later known as some unpronounceable symbols and then known as the artist formerly known as Prince, and then back to Prince.

Hidden on the front cover is the introduction of his band, The Revolution. Inside each letter and number, is a small cartoon of a city scape, a pair of eyes, a cemetery, a guitar, pants, a church, and a person running.

This album brought two huge hits for Prince, 1999, the album title, and Little Red Corvette. Prince liked to use the slang words, U for you, 2 for to, and Cuz for cause. As in the lyrics of Little Red Corvette.

I guess I should have known by the way U parked your car sideways
That it wouldn't last
You're the kinda person that believes in makin' out once
Love 'em and leave 'em fast
I guess I must be dumb cuz U had a pocket full of horses
Trojan and some of them used
But it was Saturday night, I guess that makes it all right
And U say - "What have I got to lose?"

I say Little Red Corvette
Baby, you're much too fast
Little Red Corvette
U need a love that's gonna last

Guess I should have closed my eyes when U drove me to the place
Where your horses run free
Cuz I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me
Believe it or not, I started to worry
I wondered if I had enough class
But it was Saturday night, I guess that makes it all right
And U say - "Baby, have U got enough gas?"
Oh yeah!

Little Red Corvette
Baby, you're much too fast
Little Red Corvette
U need to find a love that's gonna last

A body like yours ought to be in jail
Cuz it's on the verge of being obscene
Move over, baby, gimme the keys
I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine

Little Red Corvette
Baby, you're much to fast
Little Red Corvette
Need to find a love that's gonna last

Little Red Corvette
Honey, U got to slow down
Little Red Corvette
Cuz if U don't, you're gonna run your little red corvette right in the ground
Right down to the ground
U, U, U got to slow down
Little Red Corvette
You're moving much too fast, to fast
Need to find a love that's gonna last!

Girl, U got an ass like I never seen, Owww!
And the ride...
I say the ride is so smooth, U must be a limousine

Owww!
Baby, You're much to fast
Little Red Corvette
U need a love, U need a love that's, ahh, that's gonna last
Little Red Corvette
Babe, U got 2 slow down
Little Red Corvette
Cuz if U don't, cuz if U don't
You're gonna run your body right into the ground
Right into the ground
Right into the ground

Little red corvette


The back cover of 1999 is prince purple with red lettering and the song titles in white. The lyrics to 1999 is in the bold red letters.
I was dreaming when I wrote this, So forgive me if it goes astray.
But I woke up this morning and I could have sworn it was judgement day.
The sky was all purple there was people running everywhere.
Trying to run from the destruction but you know I didn't even care.
Because they say 2000 zero zero party over oops out of time.
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999.



Side One Songs: 1999, Little Red Corvette, Delirious
Side Two Songs: Let's Pretend We're Married, D.M.S.R.
Side Three Songs: Automatic, Something In the Water, Free
Side Four Songs: Lady Cab Driver, All The Critics Love U In new York, International Lover

Mommy, why does everybody have a bomb....









Addendum: Rest In Peace Artist Formerly Known As Prince (04/21/2016)

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LURKING AND ROCKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/29/2010

Mountain Heritage Inn - Gatlinburg - Cottage

For well over 20 years I have been traveling to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to attend the Smoky Mountain Gift Show located at the entrance of the great Smoky Mountains. I have stayed in just about every hotel, motel, cottage, Inn, bungalow, and room in town. About 10 years ago, we were told about the Mountain Heritage Inn, located at 575 River Road, Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

The proprietors are real nice folks, (Hello Louise) who understand a traveler and are ready to help when something comes up. The Inn is located in the heart of Gatlinburg making everything within walking distance. The room rates are very affordable. This exact cottage, room 127, is $74.99 per night. Before you say that other establishments offer lower rates, take a look at what you get for this price.

First, the cottage is a stand alone structure. It does not share any walls with other rooms. This offers enormous privacy. It has a nice little front porch with old fashioned rocking chairs and a grill for cooking burgers or hot dogs. A quick right turn from the room and you find the pathway to the Parkway, the main road of Gatlinburg and the convention center.

Inside the cabin, there is a spacious kitchen with round table and chairs, a mini stove, full sized refrigerator, microwave, kitchen sink, counter, cupboards, toaster, dishes and utensils. Everything needed to have a cooked meal in your room.

Moving along, the bathroom was large and clean with all lights working. (I absolutely hate when lights are burned out) The sink counter was large to hold all my toiletries and a large mirror to help in shaving. The shower and tub surround was sturdy and the water pressure strong.

As you enter the main living area, the heater and air conditioner is located on the right side of the wall. Amazingly, it was very quiet compared to other floor units. A comfortable recliner to watch TV in and a work desk with lamp plus several drawers for your clothes.

On the far right side of the room, a gas fireplace sits. It's very easy to use, merely turn the switch, set the timer and sit back and prepare to get toasty. To the left of the fireplace is the 25 inch TV set with a good channel lineup. Below the TV is a dresser for clothes.

But wait, there's more. There's a hot tub in the room. After a long day of work at the show, a nice relaxing soak does the body good.

Lastly, a king sized bed with a firm comfortable mattress with clean sheets and covers. Plenty of fluffy pillows to sleep soundly.

Before we get to the photo gallery of the cottage, let me tell you one quick story about one of my trips to Gatlinburg. We had gotten a late start and with the drive time roughly 10 hours, we were going to get in town quite late. I called ahead to Louise and explained the situation, that we would not be there by 6pm, but more likely around 11pm. With the office closing at 6pm, Louise said that she would tape our keys to our doors and in the morning come in and register.

Sure enough, our keys were on our room doors. Try that at another hotel. Now onto the gallery.

There you have it, the cottage at the Mountain Heritage Inn. At $74.99 it's a pretty good bargain for what you get.
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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/27/2010

Lost Update: Season 6 Preview - Faith Of The Heart


Lost Update - Season Six - 01/27/2010


It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.
And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.


Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I've got faith.
I've got faith, faith of the heart.


Five and a half years ago, September 22nd, 2004, I watched the pilot of ABC's new drama series, Lost. It was about a horrific plane crash that went down 1000 miles off course stranding 48 survivors. To make matters worse, the Losties encountered a terrifying invisible monster stalking the survivors. The program was very entertaining but something just didn't jive and some scenes were all to familiar. At that moment, I formulated my Lost theory and posted it to my  Grassy Knoll blog. Week in and week out for the past 5 years I updated each episode with what was really going on behind the scene. In May of 2010, we shall see if the Curator was correct.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I’ve been waiting six years to tell you…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Season Six, the final season, promises to answer the countless questions the show produced. However, the writers stated that not every single question will be given an answer, but will attempt to tie as many loose ends up as possible at the conclusion of the series. The Grassy Knoll Institute feels the following questions need to be answered to satisfy the millions of loyal Lost fans.

* Where are we? Charlie asked that question in the pilot after the smoke monster made it's first appearance. We've been trying to figure that out since.

* When are we? Time travel was introduced and the castaways have been transported to the 1950's, 1970's, the present, whenever that is, and to the future.

* Who are we? A very select group of survivors all with a backstory and all connected to one another in varying degrees.

* Where did all the children go? Ben took them in a raid and we never saw them again.

* Why did they take the children? For what purpose.

* What do the numbers mean? 4 - 8 - 15 - 16 - 23 - 42
They appear everywhere and have some sort of significant meaning.

* What is the Hanso corporation? It was mentioned early on but forgotten as of late.

* What is the real objective of the Dharma Initiative? To save the world, or perhaps to end it.

* Why are people who are known to be dead still appear and interact with the living on and off the island? It gives new meaning to the phrase, I see dead people?

* Who is Jacob? Is he the mastermind behind everything, or merely just another chess piece in the Lost Game.

* Who is the mysterious MIB? And why does he despise Jacob so much.

* How is it possible that John Locke can walk on the island? He was wheel chair bound but after the crash, he turns into Tarzan.

* Who is Ben really? Just an evil man, or a man wanting to save the world.

* Why doesn't Richard age like the rest of the Others? He was around in the 1950's and didn't age a bit in the present and the future.

* How can Desmond see glimpses of the future?

* How did Charlie kick his heroin habit so quickly?

* What is the significance of the Ying/Yang Black/White comparisons? is it a struggle between good and evil.

* Why can't the island be spotted by the air or from the sea?

* What is the significance of the black powder creating a ring around Jacob's cabin in the woods?

* Why don't they show Juliet's rack more often? The ratings would soar even higher.

And literally hundreds of more questions waiting to be answered.

February 2nd, is the premiere of season six. I believe this episode will recap several plot lines of previous seasons and then focus on the end game of the series. We will begin to see very soon where the storyline is headed and how Lost will end and who will be left standing. Alive or dead! I anticipate questions to be answered at a quick pace, not rapid fire, but narrowing the arc's of each character. There has been 5 seasons of episodes, the writers have only 16 episodes to tie it all together before the finale airs in May.

What questions do you want answered by the writers and producers of the show before the series ends? The comments are open, what say you Lost faithful?


LURKING, STILL LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/25/2010

Another Reason To Hate Catholic Nuns

Another Reason To Hate Nuns
The Minnesota Vikings, (My team) lost the NFC championship game Sunday to the New Orleans Saints. And these sons-of-bitches nuns are smiling and carrying on after the game like they just got to kiss the Popes ring.

I will exact revenge!!!

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1/22/2010

Thought Screen Helmet Listening Device

Thought Screen Helmet Listening Device
In an attempt to collect vital information on the evil race of space aliens controlling a small population of people through telepathy, the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists have engineered a device they call a reverse thought screen helmet. Unlike other thought screen helmets, this device intercepts the telepathic commands of the aliens, and with the help of velostat, a magical material with telepathic blocking properties, filters, processes, and records them. The data is then sent to the secret laboratory of the Grassy Knoll Institute to decipher the encrypted messages.

The latest message decoded: Lady Gaga is a man. Now the world knows where that rumor began. With the evil race of space aliens. More messages will be revealed as soon as they are deciphered.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1/12/2010

Catholic Nun Mafia

I'm Funny How
Patrick: You're funny!
Sister Tommasina Devito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Patrick: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Sister Tommasina Devito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How am I funny, what is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

The Nun Mafia, a little known Catholic church faction rarely spoken about, was at its peak in the 1960's, (When I attended school) and wielded almost as much power as the Pope (Godfather) himself. The Catholic nun was the absolute authority in the school. (You cross one of them, you cross all of them) A Catholic nun was always the principal (Don) of the school. The rest of them (Made Women) were teachers, tutors, hall monitors, munitions experts, and playground enforcers. More importantly, they controlled our Permanent Record.

The Nun mafia was far-reaching. Their power didn't end at the school door exits but extended into the Catholic school child's home life. A simple edit of our permanent record could cause catastrophic pain to your very soul, your money, and your ass. Perhaps not in that order, but almost always those three. (What is your Permanent Record? Every time a Catholic sinned, it would be recorded in your permanent record like a running tally of all the sins you committed in life. Then, when you died and went to the pearly gates to face Saint Peter, he would have all the ammunition he needed to send you to hell.)

If a child misbehaved, (Whispered in class, took to long in the bathroom, shirt not tucked all the way in, or smiled in a no smile zone) the nun acted immediately. You would be subjected to swift punishment in front of the entire class. Or what we liked to call, The Whack and Yack. The whack and yack consisted of being whacked by the nuns yard stick either across your hands or your ass several times, more intense if the sin was deemed severe. Then the child would receive a public humiliating tirade lecture on why Jesus is not happy with you  and  he is crying for the hideous sin you just committed. That was standard operating procedure for the nuns.

Now that your ass hurt and your soul ached, the third phase, the money phase, would be implemented. It was time to make the child feel remorse for the sin and want to atone for the damages to his soul. Or what we liked to call, (Extortion!) After said beating, the child would not be going outside for recess with the other children, but instead would have to stay behind for a private conference.

These conferences went something like this.
Nun: Patrick, you now know what you did earlier was a sin and that you had to be punished.
Patrick: Yes sister, I know.
Nun: Are you sorry for what you did?
Patrick: Yes sister, I am. (Sort of like, Thank you sir may I have another)
Nun: And how disruptive it was to the class and to the entire school?
Patrick: Yes sister, I know.
Nun: Will you ever commit that sin again?
Patrick: I hope not to sister. (Hold please, this is where they get you. Of course you are going to commit that exact same sin again, if you can call it a sin anyway, but they made you answer)
Nun: Perhaps after you go to confession this Saturday, you can add some extra money to your mass donation.
Patrick: Yes sister, I will. (A bold face lie!)
Nun: And in your student church envelope, maybe you can sacrifice a little more and add some extra money as well. Jesus needs it more than you do. It wasn't enough that our parents gave a weekly church envelope, (Pay off) but the student had one as well. With our names emblazoned on the front.
Patrick: Yes sister, I will try. (Not in a million years you old fuck!)
Nun: OK, recess is almost over. You have just enough time to erase and wash the chalkboard before the next class.
Patrick: Yes sister. (Quietly imagining duct tape over her mouth, her hands tied, and me kicking her into a well so deep that not even Lassie could save her)

Soul, money, and ass. One, two, three. Absolution. That is how the Catholic Nun Mafia rolled in the 1960's.

I wondered where that extra money the other students gave in their envelopes when they were subjected to the whack and yack. (I say other students because I never put an extra red cent in my envelope.) Every beginning school year, we would have to pledge (Payoff) an amount of money to give in our church envelopes. Did the sisters remove (Skim) the excess to further fund their organization? One can never be certain. However, they never seemed to lack or want for any tools or equipment needed.

The Catholic Nun Mafia affected more than just the students. It also affected the Parrish priests. And more importantly, the confessional. Everyone knew the Catholic priests were just as afraid of the nuns as the students were. (The Nuns knew everything that was going on in the school and church. Nothing ever got by them.) To avoid confrontation, and keep their secrets, we had it on good authority that they would inform the nuns of the juiciest sins the students committed so they (The Nuns) would have more leverage and play more psychological mind games. That's why I always disguised my voice in the confessional, so the priest wouldn't recognize me.

The other day I received a small package at my house. In the package was a chalk board eraser. Smeared in blood. With a note attached saying, "You can easily be erased!"

Amen!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL