Showing posts sorted by relevance for query a line in the sand. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query a line in the sand. Sort by date Show all posts

7/09/2010

ABC Lost Sequel - The Harvest - Part 2-4

Lost Sequel - Episode 2 - The Harvest
Lost Sequel - Episode 2 - The Harvest
Previously on Lost:
Charlie surveys the scene in front of him, then surrealy asks, “Guys, Where are we?” (Just as he did in the Lost pilot in 2004 after hearing the smoke monster metallic sounds)
Jack laments, “We’re back. We’re back on the island.”
Charlie mumbles and sings under his breath, “Everybody knows
this is nowhere, Everybody knows this is nowhere!” (Which were part of the lyrics of the song piped in during their captivity in the semi trailer.)

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways are huddled on the beach, surrounded by Oceanic wreckage, in a state of shock. There is no talking going on. The camera isolates each and every castaway for a few seconds then pans to the next. Claire mutters that she feels different, something has changed from her previous stays on the island. Jin and Sun confirm the same feelings. Something is definitely off kilter.

Sayid, still holding Shannon close, solemnly states, "We all knew it couldn't have been heaven we were in. Everyone here, including myself, has done some very terrible things in out past. Murder, rape, theft, adultery. This bunch was not sanctioned for heaven, but more like hell if you ask me."

John Locke, slowly kneels to the sand, runs the sand through his hands, and keenly suggests that they are all dead. That perhaps Naomi was correct when she was shocked to see us all alive. The castaways are looking at John, with bewilderment on their faces as Locke states, "Hey look everyone, we were all there, in that church, and now we're here, back on the island. I was dead, Ben Linus strangled me in a motel room." Locke shifts his glance to Boone and continues, "Boone, you were dead to. I watched you die. I helped bury you. And look around people, others have died as well, (Looking towards Charlie) and yet, here we are, right back where we started, back on the island, in some sort of Purgatory. Surely, the island is not finished with us yet.

Boone reels his head toward Locke and chimed in, "Well I don't know about the rest of you but I don't feel dead." Maintaining his gaze on Locke, Boone continues, "you're not going to get all Twilight Zone on us now are you? Expecting us to see Rod Serling appear from behind those trees wearing his dark suit and smoking a cigarette, and speak his monologue like he always used to."

Boone stands up, crosses his hands in front and holds a twig as if it were a cigarette imitating Serling, and says in his best Rod Serling voice, "Respectfully submitted for your approval… The place is here, the time is now, and the journey into the shadows that we’re about to watch could be our journey. A journey that begins at a typical airport filled with anonymous travelers. The passengers of Oceanic flight 815, a collection of improbable circumstances stuck together in a prolonged nightmare in which fear, loneliness and the unexplainable walk hand in hand through the shadows. In a moment we’ll start collecting clues as to the whys, the whats and the wheres. We will not end the nightmare, we’ll only explain it… because this is the Twilight Zone."

The castaways as a whole chuckle a tad, a few smiles roll across several faces.
Hurley, in a scary tone shouts out, "The book the Kanamits brought us, To Serve Man, IT'S A COOKBOOK!" The castaways relax just a bit more and begin to look around at each other taking stock in who is there and who isn't.

Sawyer admits it's the best explanation he's heard since Juliet told him they were building a runway for the aliens to land when he was held captive by the Others. The group chuckles again for a moment until Sawyer notices Juliet is not present.

SCENE CHANGE:

Sawyer panics, whirls around in several circles scouting out the area. He yells out for Juliet (And her amazing rack) again and again. He starts to make a mad dash into the jungle but Jack and Sayid stop him. Jack attempts to reason with Sawyer that everyone will formulate a plan and go out on a search mission.
Sawyer says, "Doc, I ain't buying any of this, now get out of my way." Sayid and Jack release Sawyer and decide to follow a running Sawyer into the jungle.

The remaining castaways call out for the men to return. They receive an answer as the spooky metallic smoke monster sound emanates from the jungle. Tree tops begin to shake and the ground begins to tremble. Instead of the smoke monster making an appearance, Jack, Sayid, and Sawyer emerge from the jungle running away from the smoke monster.

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways huddle closer by the wreckage and wait out the smoke monster trembling. Sawyer is out of breath and still agitated, yells at Jack, "I thought you killed old smoky. I saw him dead at the bottom of the cliff! What is he doing out there in the jungle now?"
Jack fired back, "I did kill him. Kate shot him and I kicked him over the cliff. I saw his lifeless body."
Hurley points out, "Dude, you saw John Locke's body at the bottom of the cliff and he's right over there." (Hurley staring over at John Locke)
Claire screams, "Where's my baby? Charlie, Where's Aaron?"

SCENE CHANGE:

Charlie is hugging Claire, attempting to comfort her, trying to calm her down. Charlie points out that she is still very much pregnant, as the camera pans to Claire's obvious pregnant belly. Claire rubs her belly and screams, "What is happening? Why am I still pregnant? I gave birth to Aaron on the island. Did we travel back in time to do it all again?"
Kate speaks, "I remember Claire, I helped you deliver Aaron. But,... I also remember helping you deliver Aaron off the island at the benefit Desmond was holding."
Hurley says, "Dude, where the Hell is Desmond?"

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways take notice on who is present. Hurley begins to count and calling out names starting with himself, "Hugo, Charlie, Claire, Jack, John, Shannon, Boone, Sawyer, Sun, Jin, Sayid, Kate, Michael, Walt."
Jack mutters, "Where is Desmond, and Rose, Bernard, Miles, Richard, Frank, even Widmore!"
Sun feels her belly and wonders about her pregnancy. Jin notices and clutches her hand and says, "Everything will be alright Sun."
John, taking stock in his surroundings, offers that the group must come together, form a plan, seek supplies, shelter, and fresh water.
And Sawyer adds, "And guns! Plenty of guns!"
Sawyer continues and blurts out, "Now that's all good and all Mister Clean, but we need to find Juliet. And the others that are missing."
Charlie utters, "This is Deja Vu all over again. Don't you see, we're back where we started, I've done this before. We've all done this before. That's what Desmond was trying to tell me. He's seen this happen before too. He warned me, us, but we didn't listen."

SCENE CHANGE:

Michael is holding Walt, protecting him, or perhaps using Walt as a shield to protect himself from the others. He remembers what he did, who he murdered, the betrayal to get him and Walt off the island. Locke slowly walks over to Michael and Walt, extends his hand in friendship, and says, "Welcome back Michael, Walt. It's been a long time since I've seen you two."
Michael breaks down crying, hugs Locke, and blubbers, "You know I had to do what I had to do to save Walt. I didn't want to do any of those things. Somehow, I felt like I was forced to. Like I had no choice."
Jack replies, "I know the feeling. Perhaps it's your turn for your shot at redemption."
Sayid consoles Michael, tells him that everyone has done things on this island that they regret. He is not alone.

SCENE CHANGE:

Jack takes the bull by the horns and gathers the group. He asks for suggestions on how they all should proceed.
Sun asks, "What do you think we should do Jack?"
Jack spins slowly around with all eyes on him and states, "Well, it's obvious we can't stay here. There's nothing left but the old wreckage. We need food, shelter, water. Maybe we should go back to Dharmaville and see if it's still standing."
Jack realizes that is exactly what he had done previously, take control, and backs off a little, offering that perhaps since we've done it before, it will be easier this time around.
Sayid: "Jack's right. We are exposed to the elements and whatever else may be on this island. I think we should go to Dharmaville. We should stay together, as a whole, and not split into groups as we had in the past. Does everyone agree with this?"
Jack: "I agree, if we're going to do this, let's gather what we can and set out on our journey."
Sawyer: "What ever you say Doc."
Kate: "We can make Dharmaville by nightfall if we leave now."
Locke: "Well, I guess the island wasn't done with us after all!"
Hurley: "Why am I feeling more and more like Jar Jar Binks in this sequel?"

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways begin their trek to Dharmaville. They are all in close proximity to each other. Claire has calmed down and is holding Charlie's hand as they are walking. She asks him if he remembers drowning in the flooded station.
Charlie looks perplexed and answers, "Yes, I do remember, and I remember punching in the Beach Boys notes and writing NOT PENNYS BOAT on my hand to warn Desmond."
Hurley butts in, "Dude, do you remember anything after that? I mean, you died. Was there a bright light?"
Charlie: "No Hugo, there was not. I remember visiting you at the hospital. I remember being at the church. I remember being pushed into a truck and locked up and winding up here. I can't explain it, but here I am."

John Locke is asked by Hurley the same question. (What do you remember?)
Locke: "Like I said on the beach, I know Ben Linus murdered me in a hotel room. I remember the church as well. And now here. My mind is a blank from the transport to waking up on the island. Hey, at least we didn't crash here this time."
Boone relays a different scenario, that he remembers living in the states, with his sister Shannon, and that he very much felt alive. He can't explain it, but he doesn't remember dying. In fact, he remembers everyone getting rescued by a man named Widmore after a few days on the island.
Boone says, "Do you mean to tell me that we never got rescued? That I died? Here? On this island? Crazy, that's not what I remember at all. I was at the church for a funeral, Jack's fathers funeral. I thought everyone else was there for the same reason."

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways, after several hours of trekking through the jungle, come to a small clearing. It's Jacob's old cabin. It looks to be in pretty good shape. They notice no ring of ash surrounding it. They smell smoke and hear distant movement. Sayid, who was in the lead, stops and gives the signal for everyone to stop and be quiet. He whispers to the group that he is going to survey the area and will report back. Just as Sayid was about to go, voices are heard and two figures appear. It's ROSE AND BERNARD. Hand in hand casually walking from behind the cabin.

The castaways come out of hiding and a joyous reunion occurs with hugging and laughing between the castaways. Vincent comes tearing through the jungle and spies Walt and jumps all over him, wagging his tail and licking Walts face.
Sawyer to Rose and Bernard: "Did you see anyone else? Juliet?"
Rose: "We saw Nikki and Paulo run by but they didn't stop. They just kept running. I'm sorry James, but I did not see Juliet since the day we all met in the church. It seems like only yesterday but it was so long ago. We thought you had left the island."
Sawyer: "That means that Juliet might be here on the island. We have to keep looking for her!"
Kate to Sawyer: "We will James. We will."

Bernard tosses a few more branches under the kettle that was simmering. Bernard reveals a jumbo sized Dharma can of chicken noodle soup. He says the cabin is well stocked with plenty of supplies. He opens the can and pours it into the simmering pot.
Bernard to everyone: "Please, everyone, come and sit. We have fresh water and the soup will be done in a few minutes."
Jack takes a load off and Kate sits next to him. Bernard passes out Dharma water bottles to everyone. Jack asks Rose how long they have been here.
Rose replies, "We lost track quite some time ago. But we knew you would return. You always do."
Hurley to Rose: "You mean we have done this before? Came back to the island and found you two? How many times?"
Rose: "Yes, you have. Like I said, I lost count a long time ago.
Sawyer: "Well whatta ya know, we're in the movie Groundhog day."

SCENE CHANGE:

Claire is fatigued. She lays down and eats some soup. Charlie tends to her. Jack tells Rose and Bernard their plan, to make it to Dharmaville before nightfall. Hopefully there will be adequate shelter and supplies there. Jack invites them both to join them. Of course, Rose declines the offer stating that Bernard and her are quite happy where they are.
Rose then turns quite serious for a moment, gazes into Jack's bright blue eyes, and warns him, "Are you sure you want to go back? You might not like what you find there!"
Jack: "Rose, we have no choice. We have to go back. To find Juliet. Shelter. What won't I like there? Is it destroyed?"
Hurley to Jack in a Darth Vadar voice: "Jack, it is your destiny!"

Sawyer is antsy to continue, loads up on water, and prepares to carry on. The rest of the castaways also get up and prepare. Claire states that she is tired, and doesn't want to go on. She doesn't want to hurt the baby. Charlie comforts her. She tells Charlie to go on, she'll be alright here with Rose and Bernard.
Charlie announces that he is staying, stating, "I will never leave you again Claire!"
Bernard confirms they can stay offering plenty of room and food.

SCENE CHANGE:

The castaways wave goodbye to Rose, Bernard, Claire, and Charlie and forge ahead into the jungle. There is plenty of small talk between the castaways but more so with Kate and Jack.
Kate asks Jack: "What did Rose mean that we might not like what we find. That sounds so familiar, like I've heard that before.
Hurley chimes in: "Because it's from The Planets Of The Apes. Remember the last scene when Charlton Heston and Nova are on the horse ready to leave Ape city. Dr. Zairus, the keeper of the faith tells him he won't like what he's looking for. And then at the end, Chuck is on his knees cursing, Damn you, damn you all to hell. And he looks up and sees a buried and broken Statue Of Liberty in the sand. Chuck realizes he is home and the planet is destroyed and now apes run the world."
Sawyer to Hurley: "Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape!"

SCENE CHANGE:

Several more hours pass and the castaways are near Dharmaville. They notice the sonic fence is no longer there. Sawyer quips, "Great, no line of defense against old smoky." From the cabins inside Dharmaville, music is emanating from the cabins. The castaways hear an old 1969 song playing by Zager and Evans,

In the year 6565
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too
From the bottom of a long glass tube, whoa-oh


In the year 7510
If God's a-comin' He oughta make it by then
Maybe He'll look around Himself and say
Guess it's time for the judgment day


In the year 8510
God is gonna shake His mighty head
He'll either say I'm pleased where man has been
Or tear it down and start again, whoa-oh


Sawyer spies a light on in the cabin he and Juliet once shared. Juliet loved that song and played it all the time. He runs to the cabin yelling out for Juliet. The rest of the group in hot pursuit right behind him. Sawyer reaches the porch and bursts into the cabin. He sees Juliet, who was just taking muffins out of the oven. Juliet is startled, cranes her neck back towards the door, and proceeds to drop the pan of muffins on the floor. (Just as she did when we first saw her) She runs to Sawyer, they embrace, hug, kiss. Sayer, whispers in Juliet's ear, "I told you that I wouldn't let go!"

A very emotional reunion occurs between the entire group, each hugging and crying along with Juliet. Hurley yells, "The bands back together dude!" Everyone laughs.

SCENE CHANGE:

Night begins to creep into the day.
Juliet turns down the music and closes the oven. Jin asks Juliet what she is doing there. How did you get here? Juliet replies that she just found herself here. In the cabin, baking muffins. She last remembers being in the church with everyone and then woke up in the cabin baking. She can't explain how, or how long she's been there. Just that she is.
Sawyer to Juliet: "My sexy little domesticated Barbie doll."

Sayid hears bushes moving and tells everyone to be quiet. Hurley kills the lights and Jack and Sayid carefully look out the window blind. It's Claire, Charlie, Rose and Bernard. They made it.

Another tearful reunion between Juliet and Claire, Charlie, Rose and Bernard. Rose said they couldn't leave Charlie and Claire behind, everyone deserves to be together.

SCENE CHANGE:

Kate, Sun, and Hurley find Dharma food cans in the cupboards and begin to prepare a meal for everyone. After the Dharma dinner, everyone gathers round the camp fire Sayid and Shannon made. Charlie finds a guitar in one of the cabin closets and brings it out to the campfire.

Michael, alone from the group, looks up in the night sky, concentrating on the bright harvest moon shining down on him, reflecting on his past, how he got there, and what he was going to do now. He's ready to cry when his son Walt joins him, takes his father's hand in his, and smiles up at Michael.

Charlie plops down next to Claire and starts strumming his guitar softly. Claire snuggled close to his side. Charlie softly begins to sing Harvest Moon, by Neil Young.

Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away.


But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night.


Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.


When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart.


But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye.


Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.


The couples snuggle close at the camp fire, enjoying Charlie's rendition of Harvest Moon. Boone Hurley, and Locke are on the perimeter of the cabins, keeping watch. Locke tells Boone that he believes he was born to do this.
Boone jokes: "What, to keep watch over us on a deserted island?" How'd that work out for you the last time? From what I gather, not so good!"

The scene fades slowly to darkness, only seeing a flicker of the camp fire, Charlie's singing barely audible.

SCENE CHANGE:

The camera zooms out from the castaways and rapidly rises and crosses the island to an undisclosed place. It is the entrance of one of the Dharma Stations. Faint sounds can be heard from within. The camera penetrates the walls to reveal Ben Linus and Jacob with file folders strewn across a table. They are discussing the castaways.

Jacob: "You’re still trying to prove me wrong."
Ben: "You are wrong!"
Jacob: "They come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same. They always end up in the church, awaiting salvation!"
Ben: My friend, from now on, it only ends once. Anything that happened before, happened. It’s just progress. I think it's time to tell them the truth."
Jacob: "You better let me handle that. All you ever do is lie to them.
Ben: "You do that Jacob."

Cue the Lost Logo and music.

ABC Lost Sequel Part Three Found Here Titled: Comes A Time






LURKING LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

10/13/2007

Flute-O-Phone Concert

 Flute-O-Phone Concert From Hell!

Suck It Bitches

Go tell aunt Rhoda, go tell aunt Rhoda, Go tell aunt Rhoda the old gray goose is dead. Ahh yes, every Catholic boy and girl in the 1960's knew this song and knew it well. It was just one of the many magical musical hits we learned to play on our "fluteophone" recorders in music class. You remember this musical instrument don't you?

The fluteophone was the Nuns favorite instrument for it was an amazing tool for them to wield power and influence over us Catholic school kids. It was a rite of passage that every Catholic child had to endure. And it was now my turn to carry on the tradition.

So there I was, about 9 weeks into the school year thinking that maybe the fluteophone curse would skip a generation sparing me the pain and agony of playing this silly annoying instrument. But, just like the swallows that return to Capistrano every Springtime, so would the fluteophone rear it's ugly face and sound. The Nuns, or Sisters as we sometimes called them, informed my class of the good news that our fluteophones would be arriving in several days and that we would begin practice immediately afterward. The Sisters were all giddy in anticipation, some almost smiling. An awesome day indeed.

The nuns rambled on and said that we would be taught many a fine songs. The classics they said. Like I wanted to learn how to play Mary Had A Little Lamb or Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Hell, I couldn't even begin to sing these songs let alone bring forth pleasant music from this instrument. I figured this had to be some sort of nun punishment and I for one wanted no part in this. A Line In The Sand had been drawn!

My 9 year old brain started to plot and scheme trying to reason a way out of this torture. Maybe I could be sick for 18 or so weeks. Maybe I could tell the Nuns that I had a severe throat infection and playing the fluteophone was detrimental to my health. Although these plans seemed to be perfect, I knew the Nuns would soon catch on and then my life as a Catholic would be over. My mortal soul would be lost on the river of woe for eternity. I needed a much more diabolical plan. I would need a little more time to see how the Nuns would play this out. I would wait for a mistake and only then would I make my move on them.

That fateful day arrived. A package had been delivered. The instruments of destruction lied dormant within. As the Sisters carefully opened the brown box, a silence like no other I had experienced fell upon the class. Not even breathing could be heard. Maybe all the kids were holding their breath much like I was praying to God that the box contained chocolate candy bars that would be passed out to all us kids. In an instant, I was snapped back to reality as the first white plastic flute emerged from the box.

Another Nun began calling our names in alphabetical order and as our names were called, we rose from our chairs and walked slowly toward the Nun holding the fluteophones. Moments later, my name was called and I was in the funeral march type procession to receive my musical instrument.

After everyone's name was called, the Nuns begun with lesson number one. They really weren't lying when they said they would jump right in with the lessons. Lesson one was all fire and brimstone. It was a warning by the Sisters that you were not to lose the fluteophone, break it, damage it any any way, chew gum while playing it, or using it for any other reason than playing music, and only the music sanctioned by the Nuns themselves.

We were even told not to play the music outdoors for fear that a dog, annoyed by the high pitch, might attack us thus making us drop the fluteophone and damage it. It would be OK if the dog mauled us but we better protect that fluteophone with our very lives.

To me, this was totally unacceptable but still I bided my time. As the days went on and the lessons increased, the Nuns would single us out and force us to play solo in front of the class to see just how far we progressed. Actually, I believed the Nuns did this exercise to see just how terrible we were. Of course, my name was called continually to perform the solo. Being the obstinate lad that I was, I would give it a half hearted attempt and then listen to the Nuns honest critique of my music ability.

If the Nuns were permitted to utter the word "Suck", then that would have summed it up. Since they were not permitted to utter such profanity, the nuns used words like slacker and deviant which were the nuns way of telling me that I sucked at playing the fluteophone.

Like I cared. It's not like I was daydreaming of one day becoming the greatest fluteophone player in the world. Maybe become more popular than Zanfir and his magic pan flute..... Ahh, dare to dream. Millions of fans coming to hear me play. Much like the Beatles were, only more popular.....

Anyway, the weeks went by excruciatingly slow as each lesson became more tedious than the previous one. The only benefit I could see from these lessons was that if I were somehow magically transported into a Johnny Quest carton and then cornered by a pack of poisonous vipers and my only chance of survival was to play the fluteophone and charm the snakes into submission. Again, I was snapped back into reality. The Nun was calling my name again to perform. Again, the same results, and of course the same critique. At least I was consistent.

Then one day, it dawned on me that I would never be able to successfully perform the intricate maneuvers needed from my thumb and ring finger to produce the right sound. However, all was not lost.

I did find out that if I merely just blew as hard as I could into the flute and moved my fingers up and down as if I were playing chopsticks on steroids on a piano, that I made the most god awful noise. That noise was affectionately known now as the snake charmer song.

Revenge was at hand.

Finally, I saw a small sliver of an opening to aggravate the Nuns but I would have to bide my time. I would make the Nuns truly believe that I was really trying, that I was giving my best effort so as to deflect any type of scrutiny or suspicion.

More weeks went by and our group was coming together especially when we played Row, Row, Row your boat. And yes, there I was, doing my Catholic duty playing the fluteophone. After one particular practice, the Nuns proclaimed us ready to perform in front of an audience. What? A live audience? This was perfect. The Nuns continued with their news and said that we would be playing with all the other Catholic schools in the area the following week. We would be putting on a huge concert where all the schools would each have some solo time and also would play as a full force.

This thought was mind boggling. Several thousand students playing the fluteophone in one room. I would hope the foundation of the building was sturdy enough to take the brunt of the assault. I immediately felt sorry for my parents having to endure this punishment, not just once, but seven times, with me being one of seven children since my parents were good Catholic parishioners.

My time was approaching. The next week couldn't arrive fast enough. We all met at school and the Nuns had a surprise for us. Green capes! Yes, capes, the color of Robins cape from the television series, Batman And Robin. We were to wear these capes to show our school pride. I asked why the capes were green since our school colors were blue and silver. The Nuns put an end to all questions by smacking her yard stick ruler down hard several times on her desk. She yelled out to "Listen up children, and settle down". She continued with the standard Nun rhetoric that God was watching us all and that he was proud of us all for learning to play the fluteophone and that blah blah blah.....

Moments later we were all shuffling onto the school bus that would take us to the field house. It was a short trip and quickly we were all walking into the field house where we saw thousands of happy looking parents, (most of them having already inserted their heavy duty ear plugs) seated waving and smiling as their children passed by.

We took our positions for the concert. We were high up, about three rows from the top of the hall. Surely no one could spot me here. I was in the catbird seat. It was absolutely perfect. I was looking around, casing the joint, looking for Nuns, spies, and priests. None were in the area. At this point, the conductor began striking his pointer on the podium trying to bring the crowd to attention. His tapping worked. We were ready. Poised. Anxious.

The concert opened with the entire group of schools playing Row, Row, Row your boat. It was almost stereophonic as each school was playing several beats apart from each other. Of course, when the song was over, the parents applauded and it was now solo time. Several schools went ahead of us and we, being competitive Catholic kids, sized up the competition. (Like we could tell who were the better fluteophone players)

Finally, the moment had arrived. My moment. As we began our solo, (Our selection was Mary Had A Little Lamb) I took action. As loud as I could, I started belting out the snake charmer song. At first, I was a but a single voice in a crowd of precision playing. Several seconds later, the kids standing next to me also began playing my snake charmer tune. The snake charmer song swept through the group much like the "Fan Wave" at a National Football League game. In no time at all, the snake charmer song was being played by all, and not just our school, but by all the schools.

And of course, when we stopped, all the parents clapped supporting my theory that indeed they had heavy duty ear plugs inserted.

In a matter of mere seconds, Nuns were all over the place like a SWAT team bust. We were quickly escorted out with strict orders not to say a single word. Apparently, the Nuns didn't want to tamper with the crime scene and wanted to prevent any of us to discuss alibi's.

The bus trip back to the school was silent. Just glaring stares from the Nuns. As the bus pulled into the school parking lot, the Nuns spoke to us informing that a full investigation (Or rather the Spanish Inquisition) would be held on Monday when we returned to school.

When Monday did come, the Nuns tried unsuccessfully to crack us and drive a wedge between us. Not a single student admitted anything. Even the priests on Confession day asked us if we were involved in the snake charmer incident. When all avenues were exhausted, the only recourse left to the Nuns was complete class detention for a week. To me, this was a small price to pay. It was by far the lesser of the two evils of being sent to the principles office for a round of interrogation from the Pastor.

To this day, the Nuns did not know it was me that began the cascade of snake charmer tunes. Although they heavily suspected me, they had no proof whatsoever. I had beaten the nuns. It was a good victory over the Nuns. It felt good.

But enough of the fluteophone. It was now time to sign up to become an alter boy.

But that is another story.....



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/06/2007

In God We Trust

The Grassy Knoll Institute, as many of you know, has thrown our collective hats into the political arena and announced that we are running for president of the united States in 2008 and by God, we will try our hardest to tackle the issues honestly and clearly. (Wait a minute, in today's age, using God in a speech is political suicide.) And that is what todays rant is about. God in American culture.

We at the Grassy Knoll institute believe that we, as a nation, nay, strike that, the entire human race is on the verge of a major event in time. End of the world perhaps, fire and brimstone, good VS evil, cats and dogs. And what about the twinkie? Sit back in your chairs folks, sip your tea, drink your coffee, chug your Coke or Pepsi. I'm digging in.......

If you look at our Declaration of Independence, the second paragraph clearly states and I quote, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

Ain't that grand. We, all of us, have these rights, with the guidance of the creator, to seek happiness. *Cue the happy ending music* (Wait, that ain't In A Godda Da Vida Baby)

If we look at what society is doing right now, here, today, yesterday, and surely tomorrow, is taking God, the Creator out of the equation all together. Every American reading this, quickly, right now, open your wallet or purse, grab a dollar bill, or a fiver, or any denomination. Do you see the "In God We Trust" engraved on that bill? Good, its there for a reason. It’s a warning sign. Our forefathers were very smart men, and oh yea, devout Christians.

(Still with me? Good. It'll be worth it....)
Today in any public school, we are not permitted, nay, it is ILLEGAL, unconstitutional, to speak the Lords name. Yet, every child that buys lunch in that school pays with money stamped with IN GOD WE TRUST on it. If we cannot speak the name of God, why is it permitted to be written on our currency?

It’s a warning!!! Remember?

Our very own Declaration of Independence, one of the most precious and revered documents, is, according to today’s norms, ILLEGAL, for it speaks of trusting in God and the Creator. Our current government has deemed these words unconstitutional. It has effectively removed God from our Constitution, our laws, our rules, our way of life.

Lets go back to that second paragraph of the declaration of Independence. "That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles"

Our forefathers gave us the power, nay, the responsibility to abolish any government that swayed from our Constitution. By taking God out of the equation, the Constitution has been altered to in such a way that this governing body cannot repair it.

Look at your money. Look at the schools we send our children to. Look at the corrupt politicians voting themselves pay raises and making deals to allow jobs to leave the states so as to make a couple more bucks to line their retirement pockets.

Our forefathers are reminding us each and every day we buy any commodity with our hard earned dollar bills. It’s time to say NO! No more. Time to draw the line in the sand. Time to throw the goddamn tea back into the harbor.

Otherwise, as I alluded to at the very beginning of this rant, religion will be extinguished from this nation giving rise to that world event I spoke of. Yes, the dawn of the anti-christ.





LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/09/2010

Lost Update - The Teacher


Lost Update - Season Six - 03/09/2010


Well the dawn was coming,
heard him ringing on my bell.
He said, ``My name's the teacher,
that is what I call myself.
And I have a lesson
that I must impart to you.
It's an old expression
but I must insist it's true.

Jump up, look around,
find yourself some fun,
no sense in sitting there hating everyone.
No man's an island and his castle isn't home,
the nest is for nothing when the bird has flown.''

So I took a journey,
threw my world into the sea.
With me went the teacher
who found fun instead of me.

Hey man, what's the plan, what was that you said?
Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed.
I try to socialize but I can't seem to find
what I was looking for, got something on my mind.

Then the teacher told me
it had been a lot of fun.
Thanked me for his ticket
and all that I had done.

Hey man, what's the plan, what was that you said?
Sun-tanned, drink in hand, lying there in bed.
I try to socialize but I can't seem to find
what I was looking for, got something on my mind.


Lucifer was one of the most beautiful angels in all of heaven. So much so that he believed he could rival the Lord and plotted against him with a band of other recruited angels. God banished Lucifer to the pits of Hell for all eternity and turned him into an ugly offensive beast. Ever since the dawn of time Lucifer has been scheming to break free from Hell and return to Heaven to claim what we most desired. The kingdom of Heaven.

Throughout history, there are stories of great men and women being tempted by Lucifer during their time of weakness. Lucifer would promise what they so desired most. (Money, power, love, revenge) Some resisted, some did not. Even Jesus himself was tempted by Lucifer while he fasted in the desert for 40 days. Lucifer mocked Jesus telling him to rise up and end his own suffering and take a drink of water and to strike down the Roman guard readying to crucify him. Jesus resisted.

I'm telling you this bible story because it runs parallel with the last several episodes of Lost. MIB is Lucifer, the angel cast out of Heaven into the pits of Hell. (The island) He recruits an army of followers to overthrow the temple, (Heaven) leaving all others dead. He promises candidates what they so most desire to gain their allegiance. He even mocks Jacob, (Jesus) claiming what he does is a waste of time. And why does MIB (Lucifer) do all this? To get off the island.

There is your shout out to all the religion theorists, believing that the castaways are all dead, or in purgatory, or hell and need to prove themselves for redemption to move on.

However, that isn't what's happening on the island. My theory is far from this theory. Although, it can be easily incorporated as one of the many variables and scenario's being simultaneously being played out on the island.

Just what is the Grassy Knoll Institutes Lost theory….I’ve been waiting since Genesis to tell you…..
Although it appears the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 are on a tropical island, they are being deceived. There is no island. The survivors are in a virtual reality laboratory. All the castaways are interconnected to one another sharing each others thoughts, memories, and feelings. While in this virtual reality laboratory, a battery of physical and mental experiments are performed on them. And who is running these experiments? As Juliet stated, the Aliens of course.

Tonight's episode is a continuation of the final conflict, an epic battle between good and evil. The Rapture comes to mind here, (Yet another bible reference) where the line is drawn in the sand. The good on the right, the evil on the left. How you choose is critical to your human life and your spiritual soul. Case in point, when MIB entered the temple as smoky. He killed all those who opposed him and gathered the rest as reluctant followers.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, the good side of the island, Llana, Ben, Sun, Lapedus, Miles, Hurley, Jack, and Richard were setting up camp at the site of the original crash of Oceanic 815.

Folks, this is all an experiment, a test of human nature. Conducted under the shroud of virtual reality. Unwilling and unknowing participants believing what they see and fell is real. In essence, a perfect laboratory where exact data can be recorded and studied. In this scenario, drawing from deep rooted religious beliefs, God, Lucifer, heaven, Hell, the after life, the castaways are pitted against each other in a battle of good and evil. On one side, MIB, (Lucifer) will take the charge against the good (Followers of Jacob) in a winner take all struggle to the death.

Imagine if you will a young adult playing Xbox 360. After playing the same game for awhile, he becomes good at the game, he adapts to the surroundings, anticipates the computers next move, and easily defeats the game. However, when he reloads the game and dials the skill level up a notch, the game becomes much harder, with more surprises. The castaways have been in this continuous loop for a long time. They know how to play the game. Case in point. Jack with Richard while the fuse is burning toward the dynamite. He tells Richard he will not die. He knows the game. He sees the end game. He knows this is not how it ends.

The virtual reality tests have conditioned the castaways readying them for this final epic battle. Each scenario previous was dialed up a notch until they are now all at expert level. What comes next is pure human instinct. Survival. At what cost! Will the castaways murder in cold blood to survive? Will they murder loved ones in order to stay alive? That is the end game folks. Level 9, and the ones who survive, win the game.

Tidbits From Tonight's Episode:

* Ben teaches about Elba, the island Napolean was banished to after the war. He kept the title of Emperor but without power, titles meant nothing.

*Sun is a candidate.

* Miles gives up Ben to Llana stating Ben killed Jacob.

* Llana is pissed. Chains Ben to the ground and makes him dig his own grave.

* Richard tells Jack he was touched by Jacob and received a great gift.

* He tells Jack that he needs to go and die. Runs off into the jungle.

* Richard tells Jack he cannot kill himself. Exactly what happened to Michael. Michael tried to kill himself many times but always failed.

* Richard is dejected, said he followed Jacob for many many years. That jacob told him he had a plan, and that richard fit into the plan. That things were happening for a reason. But now Jacob is dead and his life is useless.

* Jack lights the dynamite, telling Hurley, if he wants to die, so be it.

* The fuse burns out just as Jack had predicted earlier.

* MIB frees Ben, tells him to come to the Hydra station.

* MIB tells Ben to shoot Llana with the rifle. He does not.

* All Ben wants is to be loved..... And to have all the power of the island once again.

* Ben in his sideways flash, does not betray Alex as he had on the island. Instead, he changes her fate, and his, for the good.

* The sub arrives, Widmore looks pissed.

Until next week, Get Lost!


LURKING, STILL LOST ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/27/2008

A Line In The Sand


a-line-in-the-sand
A Line In The Sand
Today is the day after Thanksgiving otherwise known as black Friday. It's the official kickoff to the Christmas shopping season. Charlie Brown had it right when he said Christmas has become to commercialized.

I'd much rather be on the beach.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL



10/10/2007

God Is All Powerful

I had won my first battle with the Catholic Nuns when out of fear and further reprisals the nun I had yanked down to the ground succumbed and showed me what was under her habit. I was on a roll.

Now, I had bigger fish to fry. It began in religion class. Being a curious fellow, I had many questions when the nuns explained to me and the class that God was all knowing, and all powerful, and can see and hear everything that you do. So you better not lie, better be good, and better listen to the good Nuns.

To me, this sounded a lot like the Santa Claus story. You know the one, "He see's you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake". Well, as my older brother once put it, I was bad all last year and Santa still brought me lots of presents. Seizing the opportunity to attack, I began to ask the nuns questions. I started off easy so as to not draw attention or the ire of the nuns to my ultimate goal.

First question was.... If God already knows if you are going to be bad or good, then what's the point in being good? If God knows, it doesn't matter if I'm good or bad. Right? Well, the nuns look puzzled and huddled up. The stately one, Sister Charlotte, took the point and explained to the class that God gave us all the freedom to make those choices for ourselves and that it's entirely up to us to make those decisions. OK, good answer I thought but lets see if she can field this question.

Second set of questions...So, if God doesn't know what decision I'm going to make then he isn't all knowing is He? The nuns went crazy. They were mad. Much like a stirred up hornets nest. Their were nuns buzzing all over the hive. (Classroom) In the blink of my eyes, I was whisked up by my shirt collar and taken (Dragged) to the principles office yet again. I was told to sit in the waiting room chair and wait until the Pastor came in. Several minutes later he arrived and he and the nuns had a little huddle. All I heard was whispering and some words like God, smart Alec, habit, trouble maker, Irish kid, and the sorts.

They broke huddle and the Pastor had a one on one talk with me. He asked me why I would ask such questions. being the good honest Catholic kid that I was, I told him the truth. Well, part of it anyway. I told him about the Santa Claus tie in and how it sounded hust like God's powers. He almost chuckled and smiled at me. He then gave me some mumbo jumbo and sent me back to the nuns never really answering my original question. HA! I had again escaped Capital punishment. I was on a roll. Not even a call to my parents on this one.

Life was good. I was escorted back to the classroom and sat down with a feeling of smugness that I was beginning to enjoy. But only for a short while. The nuns explained to me that during my absence we had a test and since I was not present, that I had failed that test and that a note to my parents would be mailed home. At that moment, I made eye contact with the nuns letting them know that a line had been drawn in the sand and it was now war, and that I was playing to win, and that I would.

I waited a week or two to let things calm down to draw suspicion away from me, and then I asked my next question.

If Adam and Eve......Well, that is another story.....



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/20/2004

Lost Update - Silent All These years


ABC Lost In Virtual Reality Update - 11/20/2004


But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his
With her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent All These Years

Continuing with the Grassy Knoll Institute theory that the survivors of the plane crash on the ABC series "Lost" are actually abductees from an alien race placed in a virtual reality laboratory while experiments are being conducted on them.This week, Sayid, the Iraqi Republican guard, after torturing and almost killing Sawyer in hopes of getting an inhaler needed to help Shannon to breathe, sets off on his own to map the island and see what's on the other side.

As he travels along the shore line, he spies a cable buried in the sand. It stretches from the water to deep into the jungle. He follows the cable and spies a trip wire, a trap to snare what invades the area. He steps over the wire but still gets caught in the trap.

Sayid awakens tied to a bed spring that is hooked up to an electrical current and he gets shocked. A woman asks him questions and he answers truthfully yet he still gets shocked. The woman is the last survivor from a ship wreck over 16 years ago.

After gaining her trust fixing her music box, Sayid listens intently about how the others found their demise. The woman said that "They" took them one by one until she was the only one left. Seconds later, the sound of the monster is heard and Sayid tells her not to go outside the hut. The woman says that there are no monsters on this island, only "Them."

This episode is about the human psyche and how humans react when isolated and how we perform under duress. Through the use of virtual reality, one can be made to believe that you have been stranded on the island for a long time. Perhaps even for 16 years. Using only her gile and wits does she survive. To test her resolve, the aliens took her crew away one by one until she was the sole survivor.

Next week the show is off but in two weeks, that episode should be pivotal being the final week of sweeps week.

Stay tuned for the next update.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/26/2013

Christmas On The Grass Knoll

No No You Dummies - I Said The "Schmidt" House! The Schmidt House
The grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Below are my Christmas related posts from all the Grassy Knoll Institute categories with plenty of photo’s and humor.

Christmas Archives Below:
Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree
Santa Claus Reindeer Exact Revenge
A New And Improved Leg Lamp
Santa Claus Is A Mormon
Merry Christmas From The Bad Guy
The Ursuline High School Band (Circa 1942)
General Patton’s Prayer For Good Weather
A Parrot For A Gift
Award Winning Christmas Lights
The True Meaning Of Christmas
Bumpuses Sons A Bitches
A Christmas Story Movie Quotes
Most Popular Christmas Decoration In Minnesota
Happy New Year 2010
Lost Update: Island Of Misfit Toys
On the 11th Day Of Christmas
A Ticket To Ride (Christmas Humor)
On The 10th Day Of Christmas
On the 7th Day Of Christmas
On The 5th Day Of Christmas
On the First Day Of Christmas
Black Friday Thought Screen Helmet
Happy Thanksgiving
Christmas In July
Electric Socks And Christmas Trees
A Line In The Sand
Triple Dog Dare Video
Triple Dog Dared Stripper Pole
Top 10 Christmas Programs
Merry Christmas From The Grassy Knoll Institute
Santa Claus Conspiracy
The Mad Ice Scrapper
I Won A Major Award
Santa Clone Conspiracy
You Know Its Christmas Time When
Happy Thanksgiving Tradition
I’m Glad I Picked You
Hide The Sausage
Return To The Mall
Riding The Christmas Tree
Credit Card Gift Card
Circuit City 24 Minute Pledge
1960′s Christmas Memories
LURKING, MERRY CHRISTMAS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/11/2007

The Mad Ice Scrapper

At dinner last night, I was reminded of an event that happened back in the 1970’s. I believe it was the winter of 1976, or maybe 1977. It was a Christmas holiday type event where each neighbor tried to outdo the next in Christmas decorations presentations. Being in the midst of the energy crisis, a time when just a few years earlier President Richard Nixon preached to all Americans to conserve oil, gas, and electricity. The Christmas light decorators had to find more energy efficient means to showcase their homes.

They came up with a very ingenious concept of brown and white paper lunch bags and nickel candles. The home owner would open each paper bag, add about an inch of sand to add weight so they would not blow away and line them starting at the street curb and then wind their way on both sides up their driveway. They would then add the nickel candles and light them. The paper bag would illuminate to a very bright decoration and the bag height would block the wind keeping the candle lit.


It would take hours to set up the bags and then every night relight or replace the candles and re-align whatever bags needed to be placed back into position.


That’s where Brad and I came in. At the height of the Christmas season, when every household was illuminated with these energy efficient decorations, we would take to the streets with our car. I was in my 1968 yellow Camaro, and we would find a street aglow with these light bags. I would then get really close to the curb and Brad would open the car door, and using the ice scrapper would mow down as many of the bags as he could.


Its hard to describe the sound the bags made when they came in contact with the ice scrapper, something like Thrack, thrack, thrack. We were laughing like idiots watching the bags almost explode as they were hit and then catch on fire immediately afterward. We would go street to street with the mad ice scrapper.


This went on for some time until we began to get chased from the neighbors who began to recognize the yellow Camaro. The mad ice scrapper retired after an all to brief reign of terror.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/24/2007

Sam Kinison - Louder Than Hell 1986


sam kinison louder than hell comedy album
Sam Kinison Louder Than Hell Comedy Album
Sam Kinison, Shock Comedian, Debut Album, Louder Than Hell


You know this kid ain't filming a letter from home with a Betamax?

Come here, see, see, this is sand....Yea......You know what it's going to be in 100 years? ITS GONNA BE SAND!!! You live in a desert. Nothing grows out here. Nothing's gonna grow out here.

This album debuted during the height of comedian Sam Kinisons popularity. he debuted on David Letterman, appeared on Rodney Dangerfield's young comedians show, and countless gigs at halls and shows throughout the country.

His humor was raunchy, loud, to the point, and sexual. His famous line was "I just love women." His act would usually start out with him calm and slowly pacing on stage. Soon his voice would escalate, and then he would begin screaming. It always brought the audience to their feet.

Alas, Sam passed away in 1992, killed by a teenage drunk driver on a highway in Needles, California. His humor is missed.
sam kinison record album art
Sam Kinison Album Art
The back cover had a close up of Kinison in his trademark overcoat and beret cap. A smug smile adorns his face.

Titles on the album are:
Side One:
Blind
Big Menu
Libya
Relationships
Alphabet
Sexual Therapy
Side Two:
Manson
Jesus
Devil
World Hunger
Letter From Home
Love Song

You lyin whore
You used me
You never loved me
I hope you slide under a gas truck and taste your own blood
Die! Die! I want my records back. I want my records back



LURKING AND ROCKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL