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| 14 Deadly Sins |
On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins...
Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new "Modern" sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn't cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.
Pope Benedict XVI released his updated list of 7 new activities considered to be deadly, or mortal sins and wants all Catholics to incorporate the list into their lives and teach their children so that future generations will become more spiritual and Godlike.
The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:
1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.
2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)
3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.
4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)
6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.
7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.
Merry Christmas!
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins...
Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new "Modern" sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn't cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.
The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:
1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.
2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)
3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.
4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)
6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.
7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.
Merry Christmas!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
I think this site broke all of them plus a few we don't know about.
ReplyDeleteWe admit it. We took a few liberties. :D
ReplyDeleteJust one more reason the Catholics are losing membership.
ReplyDeleteAmen Max. Perhaps a fund raiser or raffle would help boost membership. I would bring back the Catholic secret handshake.
ReplyDelete