Empirical Proof Aliens Are Controlling Government

Attention Citizens Of Earth.

Cause: Removing your tin foil thought screen helmet before the presidential election. 

Effect: Donald Trump wins the presidential election.

Results: Empirical proof that a race of evil aliens are controlling our government.

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Ben And Jerrys Ice Cream - Gatlinburg

This first November week in Gatlinburg has been very warm. Hence, the need for ice cream. Ben abd Jerrys is right on the Parkway and was just a short walk from the convention center.

I walked in and ordered two scoops of mint chocolate chip in a cup. At first I thought the employee was making a mistake as he scooped out my ice cream. It looked like vanilla ice cream. I told him I thought mint chocolate chip was green. He smiled and said that Ben and Jerrys do not add any artificial coloring to their ice cream and I was getting the flavor I ordered.

He handed me the cup and I went to the cashier. The cost for two scoops was $5.46 with tax. I tossed the 54 cents into the tip jar and made my way to a bench on the parkway.

I must say, the ice cream was delicious. And frozen, not mushy like some other retailers hand out. The Grassy Knoll Institute scores 4 out 5 shots with a one shot deduction for the price.

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Vikings Have A New Offensive Coordinator - Now What

Today, it was announced that offensive coordinator Norv Turner resigned from the Minnesota Vikings. After two and a half seasons with the team, the offense is ranked 31st out of 32 teams. Pat Shurmur has been promoted to replace him. Shurmur and the Vikings face the Detroit Lions this coming Sunday in a NFC North clash.

Turners exit is one of many the Vikings have had to endure this season. Beginning with Teddy Bridgewater, starting quarterback, suffered a severe knee injury during practice just days before the regular season was to begin. If that wasn't bad enough, Adrian Peterson, NFL rushing leader in 2015 and arguably the best running back on the field, went down in week two with a knee injury. Add left tackle Kalil and a horde of other starters both on offense and defense left the team thin at depth.

In related news, Maytag also reported several repairmen have resigned and are now employed by the Vikings.

So now what?

Shurmur knows offense and he knows Sam Bradford, the quarterback the Vikings traded for with the Eagles eight days before the season started for a hefty price of next years first round draft pick. These are the predictions I forsee for the upcoming Lions game and future games going forward.

Leading rusher for the Vikings this Sunday: Cordarrlle Patterson. Patterson is the kick return man and part receiver but come Sunday he will lead the team in rushing. shurnurs scheme will have Patterson in motion looping behind Bradford when in the shotgun formation. This will keep at least one defensive player from targeting only Bradford. Patterson will also line up in the split back formation as well. Patterson will get the ball half a dozen times and have success in moving the chains.

Shurmur will also deploy a fast passed no huddle offense with quick hit passes to avoid Bradford from getting sacked. Rookie Treadwell will debut and be utilized in short passes across the middle. These changes will be enough to keep the Lions at bay and off balance just enough to score enough points to win.

Vikings win 23-16 Sunday.

On a sidenote: If you need a good washer or dryer, you know who to call.

SKOL VIKINGS!

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Last Halloween Post 2016

Happy Halloween From The Grassy Knoll Institute

Happy Halloween to all the faithful readers of the Grassy Knoll Institute. (And the unfaithful ones as well) Hopefully you enjoyed the bevy of beauties in our sexy Halloween costumes, bumper crop of Halloween melons, humorous Halloween tales, haunted attractions critiques, and all other things Halloween. I truly appreciate your patronage and comments through all these years. 

The blogging landscape has shifted dramatically over the past five years as more viable options such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc, has risen to popularity leaving many people abandoning their own blog and blogging social circle.

The Grassy Knoll Institute team has decided to stick around awhile longer. Perhaps, just perhaps, like the picture above, we will be the sole surviving blog from the old Geocities, Xanga, Xoom, Live Journal, Usenet, Vox, Home Builders, Yahoo Groups, Modblog, Home hosted site on Go Daddy, Wordpress, assorted platforms I have forgotten about, and of course Blogspot. (All of which the Grassy Knoll Institute published an iteration of on said platforms)

We started the Grassy Knoll Institute in 1995 (21 years for those keeping score) as an entertaining way for my son (Lead Scientist) and myself to learn the art of HTML coding. It took hours to create the first page with many a trial and error until we finally pushed the published button and the President Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy Theory appeared on our Gateway 2000 computer.

To us, it has been a wild ride as millions of viewers have visited our little slice of oddity on the Internet. We hope we have entertained you throughout the years and hope to continue into the future. And.... My ABC Lost theory was correct by the way.....

Happy Halloween

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Jessica Nigri - Best Halloween Melons 2016

Jessica Nigri - Best Halloween Melons

Winner of the 2016 Dark Zone Halloween Melons is none other than Jessica Nigri.

In just one of her many Halloween costumes, Jessica portrays a sexy female Freddie Kreuger. Visit her Instagram page to see more unbelievable costumes. Jessica Nigri Instagram.


Happy Halloween

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LURKING, IN THE SHADOWS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL