10/08/2007

Thought Screen Helmet President Addresses Public

I Am Not Just The President I Am Also A Client
Hello, I'm Art Skimmelhorn, president of Thought Screen Helmets for humanity, and I'm here with some new and important information for people who are being abducted by aliens through thought control manipulation. Simply put, the thought screen helmet prevents telepathic communication and control between you and the alien race. The helmet emits a low frequency electromagnetic signal that scrambles the telepathic ability of the aliens thus breaking control of the aliens. Our patented thought screen helmet can be yours free of charge by calling our toll free 800 number. A small shipping charge may apply...With each delivery, a complete instructional booklet comes packed with each and every thought screen helmet including a detailed history of the helmet and how it has helped countless thousands of people. And if you act now, we will ship free of charge to you, an additional velostat replacement patch for your thought screen helmet.

And remember, I'm not only the president, I'm also a client.

Disclaimer: By wearing the thought screen helmet, certain side effects may occur including excessive sweating, weight loss, low self esteem, bad hair days, lack of dates, companionship, ringing in the ears, laughter, and possible termination of your job.
Furthermore, the thought screen helmet is not available in stores. Is not a male natural enhancement. People who have been regularly wearing the thought screen helmet have not been abducted by aliens but your results may vary. Void where prohibited by law. Of course, some assembly required. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. No user-serviceable or movable parts are inside the helmet. One size fits all. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. (Sexually or mentally) Keep away from fire or flame. Not an effective motorcycle helmet. Some equipment optional. This offer supersedes all previous offers. Batteries not included. Watch for falling rocks while wearing helmet. Never pet a burning dog while wearing the helmet. Marriage is not recommended while wearing the helmet. Is not a reliable food source nor a substitute for fiber.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11 comments:

  1. Previous Comments...

    Cat4140 - Posted 9/26/2007
    This guy has the whole six pack but is missing the plastic thingy that holds them all together.

    PElvis - Posted 9/26/2007
    LMAO. Was cruising through the feeds and found this. Very choice.

    Gumby - Posted 9/26/2007
    He's got the condom on the wrong head. Beat ya to it Curator.

    D-Advocate - Posted 9/27/2007
    A snug fit. No wonder he looks unhappy.

    AllYourBase - Posted 9/27/2007
    All your thought screen helmets are belong to us.

    Max Jackl - Posted 9/27/2007
    The disclaimer is funny as hell. I love when I watch tv commercials and at the very end a narrator speaks the disclaimer in warp speed teeling you that with taking such and such, there is the possibility of growing another head from your shoulder, or the risk of death.

    KatZooie - Posted 9/27/2007
    Where's the love man. These aliens are misunderstood. They just wany some lovin like everyone else.

    LOTGK - Posted 9/28/2007
    Yes gumby, you did beat me... Off.
    Correct base, it does belong to you.
    Thanks Max.
    Kat, big manly man love.

    Big Ben - Posted 10/1/2007
    And looked, it's ribbed for her enjoyment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Win one for the Gipper. Is that Knute Rockne?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think it's trent Green.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Michael Menkin11/02/2007 6:53 AM

    Breakthrough in Real Evidence for Alien Abductions

    Proof of the alien abduction phenomenon was achieved in January, 2007, when it was demonstrated that people claiming to be abducted by aliens actually receive a microwave signal. The signal was obtained by taking voltage readings with a standard multimeter from Velostat, the shielding material comprising a thought screen helmet and from the material itself. The material, called Velostat, is made by 3M.

    This is the first time that standard electronic instruments showed that people claiming to be abducted by aliens actually receive a microwave signal. The helmets are called Thought Screen Helmets by inventor Michael Menkin. The helmets scramble the signal thus stopping communication between aliens and humans, Menkin claims. He has been making helmets and sending them to people abducted by aliens for eight years.

    Although the source of the signals cannot be established, they can be considered positive evidence of alien abduction activity and they refute both skeptics and ufo investigators who claim that alien abductions are paranormal or supernatural. Any abduction victim with Velostat and a multimeter can obtain a reading which indicates a signal is being sent to them, Menkin claims.

    Thought screens were originated by science fiction writer E.E. Doc Smith. Michael Menkin invented real thought screens in 1999. After a year of testing different materials, Menkin found that hats containing Velostat did stop aliens from abducting humans.

    These breakthrough tests were obtained by a man in the United Kingdom who measured current from a thought screen helmet and from a piece of Velostat while he was wearing another thought screen helmet. The man had a history of being abducted by aliens. No current could be obtained from the other materials which he tested. The test cannot be performed by people who are not abductees because they don't receive such a signal.

    Using his own funds, Menkin has made and sent thought screen helmets to people all over the world for eight years. For photos of meter readings that may indicate an alien signal see stopabductions.com. The site provides instructions for making successful thought screens. See Menkin's other site, aliensandchildren.org for information and other evidence of alien abductions.

    For more information contact inventor Michael Menkin at mmenkin@hotmail.com.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So how is that breakthrough coming along?

      Delete
  5. "Using his own funds, Menkin has made and sent thought screen helmets to people all over the world for eight years."

    Wait a minute! Are you Menkin, or just a spokesperson for the thought screen. I ask that for you refer to yourself in the third person.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it's the aliens talking for him.....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Michael Menkin11/02/2007 5:49 PM

    I am Michael Menkin.

    Thought screen helmets take at least four hours to make. The new ones take me over five hours to make.

    Yes, I use my own money and time to make helmets, find abductees and send them to abductees all over the world.

    Michael Menkin

    ReplyDelete
  8. So why do you refer to yourself in the third person.

    Gumby wants to know why. Gumby asks because some sports personalities do this and it makes them sound like ass hats.....

    ReplyDelete
  9. You people are sick. the ones wearing the helmets, I mean.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That's why they are wearing the helmets.

    ReplyDelete

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