7/13/1995

Shark Attacks Helicopter

Shark Attacks Helicopter In San Francisco
Shark Attacks Helicopter
San Francisco Bay, California – July 13th, 1995

And You Think You Are Having A Bad Day
The San Francisco Chronicle reported today that a great white shark estimated at 27-30 feet in length made a surprise breach attacking a low hovering United States special forces UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter during Air Force air and sea manuevers.
Tragedy was thwarted however as the airman clinging to the bottom of the rescue ladder nimbly avoided the lunging shark and was quickly pulled up via winch and the helicopter climbed to a safer altitude.
A Grassy Knoll operative who snapped the photo was summoned to the San Francisco Bay town hall for an emergency meeting to cap information and keep panic of the citizens to a minimum. Council chairman Brody stated that this picture has “National Geographic Photo Of The Year” written all over it. Our Grassy Knoll operative replied to Brody, “Next time you think you are having a bad day at work, imagine how this airmen feels right now!”
Of course our operative complied with the city council and military unit and squashed the news story until we uncovered the reason for the shark attack. We found this incident to coincide with a similar swept under the rug event that occurred 18 months earlier.
The Grassy Knoll was involved in an ongoing investigation of a marine experiment conducted at the mysterious military base, Area 51. Scientists were attempting to boost the intelligence of great white sharks to assist them in the ever present danger of a foreign country terrorist attack.
Sharks have roamed the earth’s oceans for over 30 million years evolving into a perfect eating machine. The perfect hunter. The perfect predator. Sharks have no known natural enemies unless perhaps they consider humans as enemies or maybe merely a snack. Sharks and humans have had relatively rare contact until recently when scientists injected a select group of pregnant female sharks with super DNA engineered to boost the intelligence of the shark.
After the sharks birthed their offspring, the mothers were destroyed. The offspring were closely monitored and evaluated. It was hoped that the sharks would be able to communicate with humans to perform dangerous tasks and chores. Alas, after months of tests, the sharks became unmanageable and the experiments were deemed a failure. The sharks were released back into the wild of the ocean. The super sharks have now resurfaced and are now in attack mode showing up in the most unusual places. Expect many more attacks as the sharks are learning and adapting after each attack. The Grassy Knoll will keep you updated with each new super shark attack.
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8 comments:

  1. This can't be true because Samuel L. Jackson wasn't there.

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  2. He was narrating the news story though.... :D

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  3. I saw a documentation about photomanipulation. This pic is a fake. They visited the air force base and they got the real photo... WITHOUT THE SHARK!

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  4. There are no fake pictures on the Internet. There is no fake anything on the Internet. Everything on the Internet is 100% real, 100% of the time.

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  5. Lordfrefa,
    I know! I was there!

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  6. Except for Pamela Anderson's boobs.

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  7. You say that like silicone isn't real.

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  8. I stand corrected once again.

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