How To Properly Drink A Guinness Beer

How To properly Drink Guinness

Inside the Irish Pub you patiently wait as the bartender expertly pours your Guinness beer and presents it to you. The Guinness stands in all it's glory in front of you. What you do next is critical and if you are a tourist, all eyes in the pub are now upon you anticipating what you do next. This is a very important time in your life inside an Irish pub.

Do not, I repeat, do not grab the glass and sip the Guinness. If you do, you will hear moans from the well respected Irish folk drinking in the pub with you.

1) Instead, take a moment or two and inspect and appreciate the beauty of the Guinness beer in front of you with your eyes. Bask in the splendor of the gift from Heaven waiting for you.

2) After the respectful moment or two of waiting, rise to your feet from your chair or stool. Grip the glass with authority and keep your elbows up and the Guinness at eye level.

3) Tilt the glass to your mouth and embrace the nectar of the Gods taking a full gulp. Do not sip Guinness. Do not let the patrons see you sip lest you want to hear another round of moans directed towards you.

4) Gently place the glass down and prepare for your next taste. Make sure to drink from the same side of the glass so like you can count the rings on a tree trunk, you can count how many gulps it took to drink your pink of Guinness.

5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until your glass is empty.

6) When finished, keep in mind, you are in Ireland, not in the states, and the bartender is not expecting a tip. However, if this was your first Guinness beer in an Irish Pub, or if your bartender performed above and beyond his normal excellent service, a tip of 10-15 percent would be acceptable. More importantly, thank the bartender and acknowledge the patrons inside the bar as you may not know it, but each and everyone of them were guiding you along in your journey to the perfect pint.

A proper toast to all in the pub could be....

My friends are the best friends.
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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Rainbows End Guinness

Treausre At The End Of An Irish Rainbow

Tis true, at the end of the rainbow lies a priceless treasure.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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Happy St. Patricks Day

Sexy Saint Patricks Day Bartender

Happy St. Patrick's Day from all of us at the Grassy Knoll Institute. Please drink responsibly and defer to the designated driver tonight so everyone can visit the Grassy Knoll Institute again.

 

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The Genetic Irish Ginger Gene (Red Head)

Genetic Sexy Irish Redheads

Ireland is the land of legend, myth, and magic. It is also the land of red-headed (Ginger) people. Or is it? When people describe Ireland, Guinness beer, Leprechaun's, Fairies, Blarney Stone, St. Patrick, Shamrocks, Bagpipes, and Red Headed people are part of the description. To a lesser extent, Catholics priests and the Irish Cross.

However, one of these things don't belong here. It's the red-headed people. Honest! I'm not kidding. Only 10% of the entire Irish population are gingers. (How ironic that Ginger from Gilligan's Island was a ginger) That's right, brown and black hair are the most dominant hair color for the Irish. Red hair is a recessive trait, and may only occur every third or fourth generation. Hence, less red-haired folks.

Don't get me wrong here though folks. The entire world population consists of approximately only 2% red-haired people. With Ireland having 10%, it is significant, but still not accurate.

Some famous redheaded people in history not in any order. Some may surprise you.
Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Judas, (Christ Apostle) Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme (Manson gang member) L Ron Hubbard, (Scientology creator) Napoleon Bonaparte (He was a short General) Lizzie Borden (Gave her mother 40 whacks) Cleopatra, (Egyptian Queen) President Thomas Jefferson, Mark Twain, Vincent Van Gogh, Galileo, Winston Churchill, King David, Malcolm X, Queen Elizabeth 1st. And just newly discovered, Pharaoh Ramsis I was a red-head.

Notice a pattern here.

 

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Happy St. Patricks Day (2010)

Its Good to Be Irish

From the Grassy Knoll Institute

May the Guinness be cold and hearty,
And tonight's party full of fun and laughter.
May you be surrounded by both family and friends,
And all your barmaids be like the one above.

Have a happy and safe St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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A Tall Texan In Ireland

A Texan on vacation walks into a pub in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinking fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back." The room goes quiet and no one takes of the Texans offer.

Old Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks Paddy. The Texan answers, "Yes," and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy goes into action and downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back. The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, "If ya don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

Old Paddy Murphy replies, "Aye, I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Guinness Brewery Gets New CEO

The Guinness Beer company, Ireland's famous brewing facility, named a new tough as nails C.E.O. to steer the company out of it's economic down turn. The New CEO, Robert Flanagan, was determined to tighten the belt of the corporation and rid the company of all the slackers not pulling their weight.

On his first day on the job touring the facility, he noticed a lad leaning lazily on the wall. He looked around and saw the room was full of employees and he thought to himself that this was a perfect opportunity to show everyone that he meant business.

The CEO walked up to the lad leaning on the wall and sternly asked, "And how much money do you make in a weeks time sir?" The young lad looked up nonchalantly and replied, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO reached into his pocket and took out a wad of money and counted out $200.00 so everyone could see. He then turned to the lad and screamed, "Here's a weeks pay then, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about firing his first employee for slacking on the job, he looked around the room and asked, "Can anyone tell me what that slacker did here?"

Out from the back of the room, one of the young workers muttered. "He's the pizza delivery guy!"


Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Worlds Largest Guinness Beer

Worlds Largest Guinness Beer

Giant aliens, in their attempt to take over the world, has taken a step back and paused on this great Irish holiday apparently to consume mass quantities of Guinness Beer. This lucky lad got a full glass of Guinness as a souvenir.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Grassy Knoll Institute

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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