12/31/2008

R.I.P. Dad - 1923-2008 - Press On

My Father passed away Monday, December 22nd, 2008 from a massive heart attack. Dad was 85 years old. Mere words cannot describe the man he was or how he influenced me, our family, and the many he helped along the way.

Dad was the youngest of 7 children. (Just like me) Dad was preceded in death by his son George, his sisters, Sadie, Helen, Mary, Libbs, Aida, and his brother George.

He leaves behind his wife (Delores) of almost 60 years. Next month is Dad and Mom's 60th wedding anniversary. Also, two sons, Jack, and Patrick, (Me) four daughters, Carol, Marilyn, Nancy, and Sally.

Dad was a World War II veteran serving in General George Patton's 3rd Army, 249th Combat Engineers. Dad saw action IN the Battle Of The Bulge, perhaps the bloodiest battle in the European Theater, the Rhine Crossing, and liberated several concentration camps.

Dad once told me that he and his unit would draw straws to see who drew first round to sweep for mines before the tanks would roll into new territory. That day it was Dad's turn to be first out. It was also a day that Patton was touring the unit which was very rare. When Patton learned what the men were doing, (Drawing straws) he immediately donned the mine sweeping gear and took first sweep.

Dad and Mom made sure the children were well traveled. By the time I was 15, I had visited all 48 continental states. Most of the vacations we went on was via the car. Nine people (Yes, 9, Mom, Dad, and the 7 children) in a station wagon driving from coast to coast. On one trip out West to California, we had been driving over 600 miles in one day already. Our destination was Flagstaff, Arizona for the evening. About ten minutes later, we saw a sign that said, FLAGSTAFF, 180 MILES.

All the kids moaned knowing we had another 3 hours in the car and pleaded for Dad to stop. But we all knew Dad's motto was to "Press On!" And press on we did. We made Flagstaff in under three hours. The next day, California.

Growing up, I butted heads with my father on plenty of occasions. We argued a lot. I felt I was right in my thoughts. Dad would always remind me to look at the big picture of life. Not just one moment in time. He explained that sometimes what may seem right and correct right now might not be the prudent course for the future. Dad was always right. It took many years to understand that his advice was always to benefit me in the long run. I find myself passing along the exact same advice and logic to my son. And at the age of 21, I believe he realizes my experience and advice benefits him.

Dad taught me to have faith, but not blindly believe. In both religion and politics. To love your family unconditionally, without exception. To help and offer charity, even when not asked. To respect the brave men and women in the military who have served and protected our country. To work hard, to know your job better than anyone else in the company. To listen what others have to say. To be a Vikings fan. To love God, pray hard. And to laugh out loud.

And he taught me to Press On.

An Irish Prayer
May those who love us, love us;
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts.
But if God doesn't turn their hearts,
May God turn their ankles.
So we'll know them by their limping.


Rest In Peace Father
Your Loving Son - Patrick




LURKING, AND PRESSING ON, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/19/2008

The Stove Was The Next To Go

In my last appliance update, our refrigerator went on the blink and we had it replaced after a bizarre install. I mentioned that the stove would probably be the next appliance to go on the blink.  Turns out I was right. The stove was the next appliance to die. Using my flawed logic that since Sheely's Appliance and Furniture did a good job with the fridge, they would also do the same with a stove. I was wrong!

The stove had died and would no longer be the hiding place for my wife's birthday and Christmas gifts. Patty always asked me where I hid her presents and I told her in a place she would never think to look. (SMACK! That was Patty giving me a love tap) We went to Sheely's the next day.

We walked straight to the oven section and browsed around a bit. A very pleasant saleswoman asked if we needed any assistance. We answered yes and asked her several questions. Being satisfied with the oven and the price, we bought it and made arrangements for delivery.

Sheely's was on time for the delivery and the set up began all right. The delivery men unhooked the old stove and took it out to the truck and wheeled in the new one. I noticed there was a big scratch and a dent on the top left side of the stove. Since it wouldn't be seen once installed, I let the installation continue after pointing it out.

In a few minutes the stove was in place. The new gas line connected and everything was ready to go. The delivery man told me he was going to run some tests to make sure everything was working properly. He turned on the right side burners and they clicked on and fired up. He then turned on the left side burners on. In a second, the burner blew up sending the top part of the burner into the air. Flames came out that reached the ceiling of my kitchen. The flames almost caught the delivery man on fire.

He quickly turned the burner off. He then said that it was normal for the stove to do that after installation. I asked if perhaps the dent had something to do with it, maybe damaging the burner. Coincidence that the right side worked but the left side blew up where the dent was.

He said no and began packing up getting ready to leave. I stopped him and told him I didn't want the stove. It was clearly defective, and a fire hazard. He said I had to take it up with the sales department. He said they would have a service technician out in a couple of days to adjust the burners.

WTF, its broke and a fire hazard, and they want me to keep it in my kitchen for a few more days, possibly with gas buildup or leaks and wait for a technician to tell me the obvious that it is broken. Perhaps they were going to wait until my kitchen launched into space.

After several minutes of heated exchange, he disconnected the stove and brought my old one back in and reconnected it back up.

I called customer service and told them to shove it up their ass and to cancel my credit card payment. Sheeley's really dropped the ball here. The customer service agent sounded like a mindless automaton repeating her well rehearsed line. "I'm sorry sir that you were not satisfied with your purchase at Sheely's. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

That same day I went to Best Buy. They had the exact same stove and as a bonus, it was $100 less than Sheely's. They even had free delivery and set up. They came out the next day, removed the old one, brought in the new one, set it up, (This one had no scratches or dents) connected the gas line, lined it up, and tested it. All the burners worked perfectly. The delivery men were very friendly, very professional, and installed the stove in no time.

I do not think I will be shopping Sheeley's anytime soon.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/11/2008

Idora Park Wildcat Roller Coaster

Idora Park - Wild Cat - Back Seat View

My family loves riding roller coasters. We have been on hundreds of them. From the modern steel coasters to the old fashioned rickety chain clanking wooden ones, we ride them all. However, Youngstown's Idora Park, home of the Wildcat, was one of my particular favorites.

Idora Park is now closed, a casualty of an arson fire back in 1984 that burned the Wildcat and a good portion of the midway. The park lay in disarray for years before it was completely bulldozed and now just a vacant field stands there. Here is a video I took of the park back in 1988, four years after it burned. Idora Park - 1988

My loving wife Patty and I frequented the park while we were dating and loved riding the Wildcat. (She also insisted on me riding the Ferris Wheel which I have a fear of, but it was love, and she asked me in a way I could not say no. Patty asked, "If you love me you would get on the Ferris Wheel with me." Needless to say, I was sicker than a dog when I got off and had to lay on a park bench for an hour before I felt better. BTW, that was the last time I was ever, or ever will be, on a Ferris wheel.) The Ferris Wheel spins in the wrong direction, but that is another story.

Back then, in the 70's and early 80's, the Wildcat was ranked as one of the best roller coasters in the world. In 1984, it was still ranked in the top ten. And for good reason. The Wildcat had killer hills, blinding speed, wicked curves, and a few dips that would lift you right out of the seat.

The Wildcat began like most coasters. Passengers loaded from a wooden platform. We would slide into the car, (Of course the back and front seats were coveted) strap on the leather seat belt, (Nowadays, coasters have restraints that snap down on your body so you cannot get out of the car but not the Wildcat, you could stand up and get out of the seat if you wanted. But who would be crazy enough to even think about getting out while the ride was in motion?) and wait for the operator to release the big wooden brake lever sending us off on a thrilling ride.

The coaster train would quickly move forward and dip down a slight hill into a dark tunnel. The wind rushing inside the tunnel was deafening along with all the girls screaming. The tunnel lasted about 15 seconds or so and when daylight appeared, we were at the foot of the first hill of the Wildcat.

Being a wooden coaster, the train glided up the hill just a tad and then locked itself onto the chain drive in the middle of the tracks. You could hear the chain attach itself to the train as it tugged and jerked us slowly up the hill smacking against the wood underneath. The chain would make clackity clack sounds and sometimes rise up and slam down in it's slot making it seem like the chain would snap. (It never did)

Once we peaked at about 85 feet at the top, the chain disengaged and the train would slowly coast around a large bend heading for the first hill. Everyone would look out over the park and point out where they parked their car and other places. The front seat was the best view while the back seat was the fastest ride. At this time, everyone who was fearless raised their hands over their heads preparing for the deep plunge.

In a heartbeat, the train plunged down the first hill with steel wheels screeching against uneven tracks smacking against its wooden frame. People screamed, yelled, swore, and laughed just to get them through the dip. The coaster would reach speeds of 65-70 miles per hour on this first hill. (Urban legend had it that the coaster would exceed 80 miles per hour at night time after it had just rained. Something about the water and cool night air making the wheels slide faster)

At the bottom of the hill was a little dip that would lift you right out of your seat. You would have a split second of the feeling of weightlessness. (When I was much younger, a friend of mine, Guy, and I rode the Wildcat. At the bottom of the hill, after the dip, he was so light, that the force was pushing him out of the car. I grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him back down.) I figured he owed me a sno-cone for saving his life.

Instantly, we were rushing up the second hill and then the wild fall down. Then the third hill. Then a wicked bend in the tracks forcing everyone to one side. Then a few dips lifting the riders off their asses and into the air. Then a vicious covered curve that would bring us speeding into the station for a safe landing.

The brake man would pull his levers and the coaster would stop. The people would jump out laughing and high fiving each other. (High Fiving - It was a 70's thing) The people in line would then take their turn and jump into their seats.

Getting back to who would be crazy enough to even think of standing up while the Wildcat was in motion. Well, let me tell you about my loving Dare Devil wife Patty. (You thought it would be me didn't you?) Patty used to work for Idora Park and the employee's would have a contest on who could start from the back of the coaster and make their way to the front seat of the coaster before it went down the first hill. Patty won the contest.

Patty was in the back seat, the coaster would start, and when it came out of the tunnel, she was three cars ahead. Going up the hill, she would jump another car ahead. At the top of the hill and rounding the bend, she made her way to the very front car just in time for it to plummet down the hill.

From that moment on, Patty was a bona fide member of the Dare Devils Club.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/09/2008

Calhoun's - Cheeseburger And Fries

Calhouns Of Gatlinburg
Calhoun's on the Parkway located in Gatlinburg, Tennessee is well known for it's excellent tasting ribs. I know from personal experience but tonight, I was looking for something else on the menu.

Warm Rolls
Our waiter brought out some hot delicious rolls with warm butter that were almost heavenly. He took our appetizer and dinner orders. Yes, its crazy, but I ordered the cheeseburger in a restaurant famous for it's BBQ ribs. But, I had already had the ribs and they will be critiqued in an upcoming post.

Calhouns Gatlinburg Cheese Sticks
Enough To Clog Your Heart
Our appetizer was fried cheese sticks. Ten of them with a tangy tomato sauce. They were brought out in a timely manner and were hot and delicious. Calhoun's fried cheese sticks were some of the best that I ever tasted.

Gatlinburg Calhouns Cheeseburger
Calhouns Cheeseburger
Our dinner orders were delivered to our table right on time. The cheeseburger was hot, juicy, and delicious. I ordered it well done and it was perfect. The bun was toasted just right and had plenty of cheese. The fries were cooked to a golden brown, and were crunchy, and just right.

The cost was just under $20 bucks without tip which is pretty fair considering the quality and quantity of food served.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 4 out of 5 shots and recommends Calhoun's of Gatlinburg for dinner.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Calhoun’s Of Gatlinburg”


  1. Craig Of The Avenue said

    You didn’t buy the ribs, at a rib place, famous for ribs, pretty ballsy.

  2. Bitzky said

    Why no ribs? And I must say that the rolls look really fresh.
    LOTGK Replies:
    I already ordered the ribs previously but have not yet added them to the site. I’m lazy. But I will get them up there for they were delicious.

12/06/2008

Electric Socks And Christmas Trees


christmas-tree-horror-tale
Christmas Tree Horror Tale
Before I became the curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute, one of my odd jobs was selling "Live" Christmas trees. (I don't know why thy called them "Live" since their trunks were all unceremoniously lopped off and the tree tossed into a truck. At that point, the tree was dead)

Anyway, I believe it was the winter of 1986 or 87 and I found myself volunteered (Victim) from corporate to help Bobby and Mac sell three thousand fresh cut Christmas trees on route 224 in Boardman. Back then, there were still open lots on 224 (The busiest highway in Boardman) with green fields. And of course it was Fucking freezing out with about a foot of snow on the ground. (Typical Boardman, Ohio Winter climate)
zero-zone-suit
Zero Zone Suit
I had one day to prepare for the hazards of working outside in cold conditions. I dug out my zero zone suit, (A very warm coverall that zipped up) my insulated boots, and thick electric socks. (Yes, electric socks, batteries sent a current into a mesh weave through the sock keeping them warm)

Being the good soldier I arrived on time for my shift. It was late afternoon, and I knew that I would be stuck in a freezing cold field with dead Christmas trees lying around so I stopped at Arby's for dinner. I pulled in the tree lot and parked my Jeep and jumped out.

Welcome to my Christmas tree universe. An open field, hundreds of Christmas trees scattered on the ground still in their protective wrapping, cheesy lights and pennants, plus a white step van that had to be a hundred years old. This is where I would spend the next 6 hours or so.

I opened the sliding door to the step van letting the blizzard in that was raging outside. Looking inside I found Bobby and Mac huddled around a pot bellied stove. They looked like two hobo's on the side of railroad tracks cooking pork and beans. And yes, they were cooking baked beans in the pot.

Bobby looked up, hunger and cold in his eyes, noticed my Arby's roast beef sandwiches, then looked back at the beans in the pot. At that moment, I feared for my life. (It was like Thunderdome now. Two men enter, one man leaves. The rules are, there ain't no rules) I quickly ate my sandwiches as I made nonsense chit chat. Mac didn't move. He just huddled around the stove that was giving off the only heat in a quarter square mile radius.

Bob and Mac then showed me the ropes. Reluctantly we left the step van to brave the cold weather. They marched me around the lot, (Universe) showing me the rope spool, (To tie down the trees we sold to the cars of the customers) the Christmas tree stands that went with the trees, and of course rows and rows of neatly stacked Christmas trees.

Each tree had a colored tag with a price on it according to size and type of tree. Type of tree? WTF was that? Apparently there were many different varieties. There were Blue Spruce, Douglas Fir, White Pine, Scotch Pine, Fraser Fir, Balsam, Noble, and Grand Fir. I was under the impression they were all just green pine trees. (Who knew?) The tour was over and Bob and Mac raced back to the shelter of the step van and the pot bellied stove.

As fate would have it, I didn't sell a single tree that day. Nor the next. Or the next. Bob and Mac sold a few here and there but not me. I did help Mac strap and tie a few trees to the roof of customers cars. One fell off before he got off the lot.

At the end of the day Bob said his feet were freezing and couldn't get them warm standing out in the snow all day. I didn't have the heart to tell him about my electric socks.

Merry Christmas! And buy an artificial tree this year.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/04/2008

Banksy Art Logo


Graffiti artist Banksy has many murals and art work adorning walls around the world. For some reason, this is one of our favorites.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

12/03/2008

Maxwell’s Steak And Seafood – Stuffed Chicken And Baked Potato

Stuffed Chicken
Maxwell's restaurant located on the Parkway in Gatlinburg, Tennessee is a great place to eat. Usually! As was the case, Maxwell's did not have a long waiting list for dinner so we opted in.

Dining at Maxwell's many times before, I knew what I wanted before the menu's came out. Alas, that wouldn't be the cause. Our waitress introduced herself and took our drink and dinner orders. She told us she was new here at Maxwell's and still learning the ropes. I ordered the grilled chicken with lemon and a baked potato.

About 15 minutes later, our dinners arrived. As you can see, this was not what I ordered. It was stuffed chicken breast. At least the baked potato was correct. The stuffed chicken looked good enough and I didn't want to spoil our waitress's good spirits and first week of work so I accepted the dinner without telling her.

The stuffed chicken was well cooked, an adequate proportion, and tasted good. The stuffing was surprisingly good. Of course the baked potato was excellent. I love me some baked potatoes.

The cost was $17.00 without tip and was priced nicely.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 3 out of 5 shots and recommends Maxwell's of Gatlinburg for dinner. I was going to fail Maxwell's for getting the dinner selection wrong, but the waitress was new, she was nice, and the dinner was good.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL


Responses to “Maxwell’s Steak And Seafood – Gatlinburg”


  1. Bob said

    I would have sent it back right away. If the waitress cant get a simple order correct, then she doesn’t belong there.

  2. Bitzky said

    Heh, my upbringing made me so that I don’t really care if orders get mixed up, unless they bring me something I absolutely can’t eat. I love your food posts. Keep them coming! :D

  3. Gumby said

    You are nicer than me, I would have sent it back.

11/27/2008

A Line In The Sand


a-line-in-the-sand
A Line In The Sand
Today is the day after Thanksgiving otherwise known as black Friday. It's the official kickoff to the Christmas shopping season. Charlie Brown had it right when he said Christmas has become to commercialized.

I'd much rather be on the beach.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL