Worst St. Patricks Day Float

Worst St. Patricks Day Float Ever

In many cities and towns across the United States this Saturday, grand St. Patrick's Day parades filled with green floats and fire trucks will wind up and down parkways. Thousands of spectators all dressed in their Irish green garb will cheer and clap as each float and attraction glides by and marching bands play all the favorite Irish folk songs.

And then you see it, creeping along from the rear slowly coming into focus. The worst St. Patrick's Day float.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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Leprechaun Down On His Luck

Leprechaun Down On His Luck

Seamus, of the Limerick Leprechaun clan, down on his luck in the weak world economy. He invested his entire pot of gold buying a stake in the motion picture John Carter knowing how well Disney movies historically do at theaters.

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Getting Pinched On St. Patrick's Day

Getting Pinched On St. Patricks Day

In the United States, wearing green on St. Patrick's day pays tribute to the Emerald Isle, (Ireland) and it’s good people but also so you don’t get pinched. That’s right. Pinched! If you forget or choose not to wear green on St. Patrick’s day, your friends have the right to pinch you for not wearing green. Usually the pinching occurs on the back side but other area's of the body is acceptable as well.

There you have it, the reason for Wearin O The Green.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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A Little Irish Humor

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty terribly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.

Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."

The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."

The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."

Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."

"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."

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Irish Humor - Jesus Is My Brother-In-Law

Paddy got in an automobile accident and was taken to a Catholic hospital in Dublin.
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"

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Now That Is How You River Dance In Ireland

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An Old Irish Prayer

May those who love us, love us;
And those who don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
But if God doesn’t turn their hearts,
May God turn their ankles.
So we’ll know them by their limping.

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Shoeless Joes BBQ Pork

Shoeless Joe's BBQ Pulled Pork

While at the National Halloween trade show hosted at the Rosemont Chicago convention center, the host had a “Taste Of Chicago” evening for the exhibitors and buyers in the Hilton Hotel on Friday evening. Inside the great hall, many of Chicago’s top restaurants had set up temporary stations and were cooking their best dishes for all to taste and sample. Of course we were there. The first station we stopped at was Shoeless Joe’s Restaurant.

After finding a table, we made a bee line to shoeless Joe’s. I sampled the pulled pork sandwich and their BBQ ribs. The ribs were the “Fall off the bone” variety. (The best kind!) The BBQ sauce was tangy and perfect. The taste, well, the ribs were exquisite. If there weren’t 9 or 10 other restaurants to sample I would have went back for a full slab of ribs.

After the ribs, I moved on to the pulled pork sandwich. Again, a very tasty BBQ sauce smothering tender pulled pork. The hard roll was a perfect combo.

I was really liking this “Taste Of Chicago” event so far. I couldn’t wait for the next restaurant.

The Grassy Knoll Institute scores 5 out of 5 shots and recommends Shoeless Joe’s of Chicago for dinner.

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