Electric Socks And Christmas Trees

Christmas Tree Horror Tale

Before I became the curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute, one of my odd jobs was selling "Live" Christmas trees. (I don't know why thy called them "Live" since their trunks were all unceremoniously lopped off and the tree tossed into a truck. At that point, the tree was dead)

Anyway, I believe it was the winter of 1986 or 87 and I found myself volunteered (Victim) from corporate to help Bobby and Mac sell three thousand fresh cut Christmas trees on route 224 in Boardman. Back then, there were still open lots on 224 (The busiest highway in Boardman) with green fields. And of course it was Fucking freezing out with about a foot of snow on the ground. (Typical Boardman, Ohio Winter climate)

Zero Zone Suit

I had one day to prepare for the hazards of working outside in cold conditions. I dug out my zero zone suit, (A very warm coverall that zipped up) my insulated boots, and thick electric socks. (Yes, electric socks, batteries sent a current into a mesh weave through the sock keeping them warm)

Being the good soldier I arrived on time for my shift. It was late afternoon, and I knew that I would be stuck in a freezing cold field with dead Christmas trees lying around so I stopped at Arby's for dinner. I pulled in the tree lot and parked my Jeep and jumped out.

Welcome to my Christmas tree universe. An open field, hundreds of Christmas trees scattered on the ground still in their protective wrapping, cheesy lights and pennants, plus a white step van that had to be a hundred years old. This is where I would spend the next 6 hours or so.

I opened the sliding door to the step van letting the blizzard in that was raging outside. Looking inside I found Bobby and Mac huddled around a pot bellied stove. They looked like two hobo's on the side of railroad tracks cooking pork and beans. And yes, they were cooking baked beans in the pot.

Bobby looked up, hunger and cold in his eyes, noticed my Arby's roast beef sandwiches, then looked back at the beans in the pot. At that moment, I feared for my life. (It was like Thunderdome now. Two men enter, one man leaves. The rules are, there ain't no rules) I quickly ate my sandwiches as I made nonsense chit chat. Mac didn't move. He just huddled around the stove that was giving off the only heat in a quarter square mile radius.

Bob and Mac then showed me the ropes. Reluctantly we left the step van to brave the cold weather. They marched me around the lot, (Universe) showing me the rope spool, (To tie down the trees we sold to the cars of the customers) the Christmas tree stands that went with the trees, and of course rows and rows of neatly stacked Christmas trees.

Each tree had a colored tag with a price on it according to size and type of tree. Type of tree? WTF was that? Apparently there were many different varieties. There were Blue Spruce, Douglas Fir, White Pine, Scotch Pine, Fraser Fir, Balsam, Noble, and Grand Fir. I was under the impression they were all just green pine trees. (Who knew?) The tour was over and Bob and Mac raced back to the shelter of the step van and the pot bellied stove.

As fate would have it, I didn't sell a single tree that day. Nor the next. Or the next. Bob and Mac sold a few here and there but not me. I did help Mac strap and tie a few trees to the roof of customers cars. One fell off before he got off the lot.

At the end of the day Bob said his feet were freezing and couldn't get them warm standing out in the snow all day. I didn't have the heart to tell him about my electric socks.

Merry Christmas! And buy an artificial tree this year.

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Banksy Art Logo

Graffiti artist Banksy has many murals and art work adorning walls around the world. For some reason, this is one of our favorites.

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Maxwell’s Steak And Seafood – Stuffed Chicken And Baked Potato

Stuffed Chicken

Maxwell's restaurant located on the Parkway in Gatlinburg, Tennessee is a great place to eat. Usually! As was the case, Maxwell's did not have a long waiting list for dinner so we opted in.

Dining at Maxwell's many times before, I knew what I wanted before the menu's came out. Alas, that wouldn't be the cause. Our waitress introduced herself and took our drink and dinner orders. She told us she was new here at Maxwell's and still learning the ropes. I ordered the grilled chicken with lemon and a baked potato.

About 15 minutes later, our dinners arrived. As you can see, this was not what I ordered. It was stuffed chicken breast. At least the baked potato was correct. The stuffed chicken looked good enough and I didn't want to spoil our waitress's good spirits and first week of work so I accepted the dinner without telling her.

The stuffed chicken was well cooked, an adequate proportion, and tasted good. The stuffing was surprisingly good. Of course the baked potato was excellent. I love me some baked potatoes.

The cost was $17.00 without tip and was priced nicely.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 3 out of 5 shots and recommends Maxwell's of Gatlinburg for dinner. I was going to fail Maxwell's for getting the dinner selection wrong, but the waitress was new, she was nice, and the dinner was good.

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1. 
   

   Bob said

   December 3, 2008 at 4:26 pm e
   I would have sent it back right away. If the waitress cant get a simple order correct, then she doesn’t belong there.
   Reply
2. 
   

   Bitzky said

   December 5, 2008 at 11:33 am e
   Heh, my upbringing made me so that I don’t really care if orders get mixed up, unless they bring me something I absolutely can’t eat. I love your food posts. Keep them coming! 
   Reply
3. 
   

   Gumby said

   December 5, 2008 at 12:48 pm e
   You are nicer than me, I would have sent it back.
   Reply
4. 
   

A Line In The Sand

A Line In The Sand

Today is the day after Thanksgiving otherwise known as black Friday. It's the official kickoff to the Christmas shopping season. Charlie Brown had it right when he said Christmas has become to commercialized.

I'd much rather be on the beach.

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Smoky’s Sports Bar – Cheeseburger - Fries - cheese

Smokys Sports Pub

It was Saturday night, Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and Joe wanted to see the rest of the Penn State game. We decided to pay Smoky's Sports Pub And Grill a visit. We walked in and there were plenty of TV sets with the football games on which was a good sign and the hostess came over and seated us right away. She asked what game we wanted to see and sat us accordingly.

Smokys Cheese Sticks

In a few minutes, our waiter appeared and took our drink order and appetizer order. I was feeling daring and ordered the cheese sticks. Ten minutes went by and no drinks but we got the cheese sticks. We placed our dinner orders and asked for our drinks.

I noticed that there were no napkins, no plates, no salt, no pepper, nothing on the table. After waiting a few minutes I went and flagged down our waiter. He looked startled! I said could we please get our drinks and perhaps a few napkins and plates. He said sure in just a few minutes. I went to the kitchen and got them myself.

The cheese sticks were OK, a little cold because we waited so long and two of them were empty. Just sticks, no cheese. Say that real fast.

Smokys Cheeseburger

My dinner order was a standard fare cheeseburger and steak fries. It came in a basket. There was no ketchup, mustard, well, you get the point. At least it was hot.

Actually, the cheeseburger tasted all right. It was well cooked, hot, fresh, (As fresh as frozen patties go) and the bun was toasted and not soggy. All in all, it was OK.

The steak fries however, choke, choke, they were terrible. A soggy mess of what once were potatoes in the bottom of the plastic basket. I choked down a few and performed the last rites on the rest of them.

The cost was 15 dollars for the empty sticks and burger, and a glass of water. A little steep for what you got.

Our drinks finally arrived halfway through dinner. The waiter said, hey, its one of those days man. Same right back at yea with your tip man.

Well, Joe was sad that Penn State lost and probably missed the chance for the BCS national championship game, but they would live to play another day. (Can't say the same for the fries though) And yes, I gave him only 15% for a tip.

The Grassy Knoll Diner scores 2.25 out of 5 shots and does not recommend Smoky's for dinner. Sidenote: if you find that all the other restaurants are packed, and sometimes in Gatlinburg on a Friday and Saturday night during certain events they are, then go to Smoky's just to get something to eat but expect bad service.

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1. 
   

   Soup Cop Jean said

   November 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm e
   I’ll take your word that it was good tasting. it doesn’t from the picture. So what the burger was just tossed on top of the fries. And I see a black plastic fork there.
   Reply
2. 
   

   Louise Wheeler said

   November 29, 2008 at 8:08 am e
   We ate at Smokey’s 2 times during our stay in Gatlinburg. We found the food pretty good. The portions were good, the food was served quickly and was served hot. The food is bar food, so we didn’t expect any thing exceptional but it was tasty and for the price and atmosphere (football), we will definintely return.
   Reply
3. 
   

   Gumby said

   December 5, 2008 at 12:51 pm e
   Should be renamed to Smokys Greasy Spoon.
   Reply
4. 
   

   Michele said

   March 28, 2009 at 4:51 pm e
   My visit to smokeys was not very good. The pizza was good, but the bar tender jessica kept thrusting her boobs in my husbands face. In front of my child. I was very upset. She even tried to sit on his lap. She was rude to me and did not refill my drink until my husband took my glass to the bar and asked her to get me another. I actually checked to see if she spit in it.
   I do not recommend this place until they get rid of her.
   Reply
5. 
   

   Craig Plaisance said

   July 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm e
   We just came back from smokeys, very angry.
   The service was very bad, the waitress and waiter were very rude. I ordered ceasar salad and soup, the plate of salad came full, but only on the top was fresh lettuce, at the bottom it was just very dry leaves (almost half of the plate), i have never seen something like that served in a restaurant, just like garbage. I told the waiter and he just took it back to the kitchen and left me there, they didn’t do anything. No sorry, nothing. Never go back there again. I don’t recommend people to eat there, food is crapy however the price is same as if you go to a very good restaurant. They even don’t give you napkin, they just put paper roll like bad paper towel.
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     July 11, 2009 at 2:30 pm e
     Too bad you didn’t read my blog before visiting. It may have saved you a bad dinner experience.
     Reply
   • 
     

Dealey Plaza And The Grassy Knoll

To mark the 45th anniversary of President Kennedy’s assassination on November 22nd, 1963, I offer these photos taken back in June of this year. The photos are of the Texas School Book Depository, the infamous grassy knoll, Dealey Plaza, and the spot marked on the highway where president Kennedy was first shot. Make sure to click the thumb nail for a larger version.

Dallas, Texas, June of 2008. The view from the infamous grassy knoll. Conspiracy theories begin here, where eye witnesses heard and saw smoke and gun shots coming from. If shots were fired here, then indeed it is a conspiracy. The School Book Depository is on the left.

Again, a view from the grassy knoll where eye witnesses claim they heard and saw smoke and gun shots. If shots were fired here, then indeed it is a conspiracy. You can see the white “X” marked on the street where President John Kennedy was shot.

A wider angle view from the grassy knoll. You can see from this photograph that the grassy knoll was a perfect location for a second shooter. If Oswald had missed or just wounded Kennedy, the second shooter would complete the job.

Dealey Plaza, a view from the grassy knoll, close up view of the white painted “X” on the highway. I zoomed in on this spot to show the positive angle from the grassy knoll for a clear clean shot from the fence on the grassy knoll. Not much of a monument.

Dealey Plaza, right side of the highway. The infamous grassy knoll is off to the right. Route 30 triple underpass is off in the distance. This is approximately the spot where Abraham Zapruder stood while filming the Kennedy Assassination.

Dealey Plaza, a slightly different angle from where Abraham Zapruder was standing filming President Kennedy’s motorcade as it came by. Moments later president Kennedy was shot and the limo wenti speeding away under the triple underpass road.

Another photograph of the grassy knoll and the pergola. (The white monument type structure lining the perimeter) The Route 30 and 35E highway sign is in the foreground and the triple underpass that the motorcade sped under after President John Kennedy was shot.

The picket fence on the grassy knoll where according to conspiracy theorists a second assassin was hiding waiting for the Kennedy motorcade to come into view. When the correct angle was in view, he fired hitting Kennedy forcing his head to snap back.

The fence on the grassy knoll, the triple underpass, and the street sign for Route 35 and 35E. Eye witnesses claim to have heard at least one shot coming from the grassy knoll and the picket fence. White smoke and a figure of a man was also reported to be lurking behind it.

Another view of the picket fence located in the back ground of the grassy knoll. The man standing behind the fence in this picture had a perfect view of the white painted “X” on the street. A perfect location for a sniper to hide, fire his shots at the president, and flee the area.

Photo of the grassy knoll and pergola from across the street. This is where hundreds of people came out to greet President Kennedy’s motorcade and then ran for cover as shots rang out from the School Book Depository and the grassy knoll as witnesses would attest to.

A close up view and reverse angle of the grassy knoll. As you can see by the white “X” on the street, the angle is perfect for a second shooter by the picket fence. As we know by now, the “X” was the spot where Kennedy’s motorcade was. A perfect shot from the grassy knoll.

This is a reverse angle zoomed in photograph of the grassy knoll and the picket fence where the alleged second shooter was hiding waiting for the motorcade to come into angle. By looking right, you can see that Oswald had to wait as well until both shooters were in harmony.

This photograph was taken from the same spot as the previous, but with wide angle. We see the infamous grassy knoll, the picket fence where the alleged second assassin was hiding, and the underpass where the Kennedy motorcade sped off to after he was shot.

This photograph is of the Texas School Book Depository where Oswald was perched on the sixth floor waiting for Kennedy to come into angle. Notice the white “X” on the left side of the photograph and the grassy knoll. The perfect spot for both shooters to hit their mark.

This is a close up photograph of the School Book Depository. Oswald climbed the 6 floors, took out his rifle that was hidden the day before and waited for his prey to come into sight. Oswald was on the 6th floor, and you can see from that position he selected a very good kill zone area that aligned itself with the grassy knoll.

We can conclude from these photographs that perhaps there was a conspiracy to assassinate the president. Case in point, if Oswald was the only shooter, he would have lined up his shot on the motorcade before the limo turned left. This way, the limo and his target would be coming toward him. But if he had missed, Kennedy would have escaped. Enter a second shooter on the grassy knoll. With two expert marksmen, the probability of a successful kill more than doubled.

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