Showing posts with label simon cowell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simon cowell. Show all posts

11/30/2007

Sanjaya Consortium

The American Idol Sanjaya Consortium

The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered an underground movement with the intention to bring the FOX network smash series American Idol to it's knee's. This international group calls itself, The Sanjaya Consortium. The details are sketchy but it is believed that the consortium formed at the end of last seasons show and built membership over the summer after the founders discovered a flaw in the voting system and decided to exploit it.

American Idol relies on TV viewers watching the show to call in after the show airs and vote for their favorite contestant. There is no limit on how many times one can vote. The phone lines are open for two hours. The next night, the contestant with the fewest votes gets sent home. All the power comes from the voting viewers.

But what about Randy, Paula, and Simon? Don't they control the show, have a say on who continues and who goes home? That was how the show was designed to work, the judges being able to sway the viewers opinions and thus have them vote for the best singer. In reality, Randy, Paula, and Simon are merely window dressing once the preliminary auditions are completed and the show moves to Hollywood. Simon's biting critiques have no significant value determining the outcome of the show. Ryan Seacrest has the same power as the judges. Absolutely none!

The Sanjaya Consortium understands this flaw and set out to exploit it in 2007. Being silent for several weeks to research who was the worst singer in the group of contestants, they went into action. The several hundred thousand member strong consortium went to their phones and voted as many times as they could for Sanjaya, clearly the contestant with the least amount of talent. Shockingly, after a severe critique from Simon, Randy, and even Paula, Sanjaya was voted through. Week after week, Sanjaya was saved by the consortium and had the potential to win American Idol.

The Sanjaya problem had gotten so bad that Simon Cowell stated that he would step down as a judge for American Idol next season if Sanjays won that year. The other judges have stopped critiquing Sanjaya as they have come to realize that no matter what they say, it will not affect the voting consortium.

To plug this flaw in the American Idol system model, the Grassy Knoll Institute guarantee's that next year major changes will be implemented.

The first major change will be limiting each caller to a maximum amount of votes permitted. Somewhere between five and ten calls will be agreed upon.

The second major change will restore power back to Randy, Paula, and Simon. Each week, the three judges will rate and rank the contestants on a scale of one to ten and the combined score will amount to fifty percent of the vote. Much like the model of Dancing With The Stars.

In 2007, Sanjaya fever was running wild and appears Pandora's box cannot be closed.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/12/2007

American Idol Jesse And Becca 02/26/2006

American Idols Jesse And Becca Twins
American Idols Jesse And Becca Twins
American Idols Jesse And Becca Twins
Several weeks ago on American Idol, two girls and two guys were eliminated and sent home. But before the "Live" show even began, the Grassy Knoll Institute already knew it would be the Jesse and Becca twin who would be sent home.

Did the Grassy Knoll receive some inside information before the show that swayed the vote? Not at all. It was the Maxim magazine photo shoot the twins did last year that miraculously found the light of day that sealed her fate. It wasn't the performance on the stage that sent her home, (She was pretty terrible though) but the sexy sports related photo shoot in provocative poses while scantily clad with her sister.

American Idol has seen its share of scandal and did not want another Paula Abdul incident, (Contestant C. Clark claiming Paula made advances and promises to him, both sexually and professionally) on its hands with the twins. Idol packages its show as a wholesome family program of amateur hopefuls vying for a shot to receive a recording deal. Jesse and Becca do not fit that framework.

In an instant, the American Idol conspiracy was eliminated leaving the Grassy Knoll Institute to wonder if the phone in votes are really tallied and do they really count toward the decision making on the show.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

3/31/2005

Clay Aiken Lands FOX Sitcom

The Clay Aiken Bunch
Clay Aiken, runner up to last years American Idol fame has parlayed his fame into a starring role in a new upcoming FOX Network sitcom. It is loosely based on the 1970's hit The Brady Bunch.

The shocker is: Simon Cowell announced his resignation from Idol to join Aiken on the sitcom. Rumor has it Simon will revise the role of Alice, the wise cracking maid.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL