Paddy O'Brien walks into a his favorite pub looking like he'd just been in a mighty brawl.
Paddys arm is in a sling. His nose is broken.
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
The bartender Shamus pours Paddy a Guinness and asks Paddy, "What the devil happened to you?"
Paddy exclaims, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."
Shamus is stunned telling Paddy, "That wee little of a man, O'Conner!" "He could not have done that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
Paddy looked up from his Guinness and says, "That he did." A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."
The bartender asked, "Well," did you not defended yourself then? Did you not have something in your hand?"
Paddy sais, "That I did Shamus. That I did!" I had Mrs. O'Conner's breast in me hand, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Showing posts with label St. Patricks day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label St. Patricks day. Show all posts
3/07/2014
3/06/2014
Zombie Fortress In Ireland
Irelands Zombie Fortress |
When the Zombie apocalypse occurs, (And it certainly will) this particular real estate is the perfect Zombie fortress. The sea-stack once supported life as an expedition found remnants of a hut, tools, and walls. Some simple supplies to stock the stack beforehand will allow your team to live Zombie free for a long time. When supplies do run out, using pulley ropes to lower yourself down to sea level, you can return to the mainland to reload supplies.
Even if your fortress is found out by zombies or humans, the sea-stack is easily defended. Zombies cannot climb and any people wanting to loot your possessions will find it impossible to gain access.
I'm forulating my survival supply list now.
1- Guinness beer.
2- Soda bread.
3- Irish stew.
4- Irish whiskey.
5- More Guinness beer.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/05/2014
How To Properly Wear Your Irish Green Bikini
With St. Patricks day just a few days away, many women are writing in to the Grassy Knoll Institute for advice on how to properly wear an Irish green bikini. We kindly obliged.
The video above featuring Caitlin O'Connor wearing a Beach Bunny bikini is all the advice and help you will need.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/04/2014
Irish Mental Hospital
As we all know, Ireland has very good medical care including facilities for the mentally challenged.
Just the other day I found myself in the fine city of Dublin walking through the quaint streets and avenues. I came across a mental institution. As I continued to walk past the facility I noticed that many patients were out on the lawn enjoying the mild weather.
All of a sudden I heard the patients start to shout the number 13 over and over again. 13...13...13... Intrigued and being a bit of a busy body I stopped to investigate. However the picket fence surrounding the facility was to high for me to see over. Looking at the fence I spied a small gap in the wood allowing me to bend down and peer through.
Just as soon as I had myself positioned to see, I was poked in the eye with a stick from the other side of the fence. As I was getting up off the ground I heard them all yelling 14... 14... 14...
Luckily there was a eye care center next door. It was doing a brisk business. I took a number, it was 13.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Just the other day I found myself in the fine city of Dublin walking through the quaint streets and avenues. I came across a mental institution. As I continued to walk past the facility I noticed that many patients were out on the lawn enjoying the mild weather.
All of a sudden I heard the patients start to shout the number 13 over and over again. 13...13...13... Intrigued and being a bit of a busy body I stopped to investigate. However the picket fence surrounding the facility was to high for me to see over. Looking at the fence I spied a small gap in the wood allowing me to bend down and peer through.
Just as soon as I had myself positioned to see, I was poked in the eye with a stick from the other side of the fence. As I was getting up off the ground I heard them all yelling 14... 14... 14...
Luckily there was a eye care center next door. It was doing a brisk business. I took a number, it was 13.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2014
Sexy Irish Green Bikini Contest 2014
As rock legend singer Rod Stewart penned,
"I sure do want you to know that you wear it well,
There ain't a lady in the land so fine."
Your mission today, in the cold early month of March is to vote for the supermodel above who wears their sexy Irish green bikini the best. The contest is simple. Gaze upon the six beautiful women above and click on your favorite. Each photo you click on will count as one vote and each comment you leave will count as two votes. The winner will be revealed March 17th, St. Patricks Day.
Write ins are permitted. Simply name the sexy model and add the link of her wearing her sexy green bikini in the comments section.
If you do not know the six supermodels above they are in order:
#1- Adrianna Lima, #2 - Alessandro Ambrosia, #3 - Bar Refaeli,
#4 - Candice Swanepol, #5 - Kate Upton, #6 - Miranda Kerr
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/02/2014
Irish Leprechaun Legend
Legend Of The Leprechaun |
You see, Leprechauns are Imps and they do not wish to be bothered by folks poking around their business. A failed attempt to remove the pot of gold from a Leprechaun could cause harmful results. You see, once the leprechaun is out of your sight just for a split second, the power you have over him is revoked. At that time, the leprechaun may reciprocate and trick you into doing harm to yourself.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/01/2014
Top Of The Morning To You
Lucky Irish Four Leaf Clover |
As usual, the Grassy Knoll Institute will reveal sexy red-headed Irish women, sexy green bikini's, some Irish humor, (Humour) Irish myths, Irish folklore, and Irish food in the days leading up to the feast of St. Patrick.
By the time you wake up at 5am on St. Patrick's day to partake in the ritual of consuming green eggs, green ham, and plenty of green beer, you will be stocked with all the Irish heritage knowledge you will need to get you through the day.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2013
Even The Queen Is Irish On St. Patricks Day
3/16/2013
A Perfect Irish Rainbow
A Perfect Irish Rainbow |
The Grassy Knoll Institute asks during your celebration to take a few minutes after the first light to search the sky for that perfect Irish rainbow and perhaps you will find the pot of gold left hiding by the Leprechauns.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/14/2013
Irish Car Wash
Irish Car Wash Made A Million Dollars In One Day |
Lines have formed around the block.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/12/2013
Zombie Outbreak In Ireland
3/11/2013
An Irish Wedding Blessing
An old Irish wedding tradition can sometimes get dangerous. At the reception, the Father of the bride gathers the attention to give his blessing to the bride and groom and all in attendance.
The blessing goes something like this...
Would all the married men,
Please now go and stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
At this time, the bartender almost gets crushed to death.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
The blessing goes something like this...
Would all the married men,
Please now go and stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.
At this time, the bartender almost gets crushed to death.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/08/2013
Irish Cardio Workout Sweeping The Nation
I Dare You To Look Away |
Dublin, Ireland, a new male fitness craze is sweeping the nation. No, it is not palates, or spinning, nor aerobics, but a much simpler exercise. Men come to the exercise studio, pay a small fee, and step onto a treadmill. In just a few seconds, a large curtain opens and the viewer is exposed to the scene above.
On the average, Men stay on the treadmill 2700% longer than normal increasing their cardio workout thus lending to weight loss and better heart and health condition.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/07/2013
Hostess Mint Green Sno Balls
Retro Hostess Irisih Green Sno Balls |
PS: I found this package of Sno-Balls in the far back corner of the pantry. They look pretty damn good. I'm not eating them mind you, but it must be true that Hostess has a half life of 25000 years.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/06/2013
Paddy Walks Into A Pub
A little Irish humor:
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/04/2013
Shopping For The Perfect St. Patrick's Day Outfit
Wearing of The Green |
Take your time....
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2013
Dark In Here It Is
Irish Furniture |
The little boy says, dark in here. The man says, yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball.
Man: That's nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No thank you.
Boy: My dads outside!
Man: OK, how much?
Boy: $250
In the next few weeks the same thing happens again and the boy and the lover wind up in the closet again.
Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, how much?
Boy: $750
Man: Sold!
A few days later the father says to the boy, grab your glove and ball, lets go outside and have a game of catch. The boy says I cannnot. I sold my baseball and glove. For how much the dad asked.
Boy: $1000 for both.
Dad: That is way to much to charge your friends. For that, I'm taking you to church so father Flanagan can hear your confession.
Both go to church and the dad escorts the boy to the confessional booth, opens the door, tells the boy to walk in, kneel down and wait for the priest. The dad closes the door and sits in the pew a few feet away.
In a few seconds, father Flanagan slides the small window open and waits for the boy to begin his confession.
Boy: Dark in here.....
Father Flanagan: Don't you be starting any shenanigans in here. You are in my closet now.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/02/2013
Irish True Story
Scene From An Irish Cafe |
Happy St. Patrick's Day
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/01/2013
Breakfast On St. Patricks Day
Green Pancakes For St. Patricks Day |
As usual, the Grassy Knoll Institute will reveal plenty of sexy red-headed women, sexy green bikini's, some Irish humor, (Humour) Irish myths, Irish folklore, and Irish food.
By the time you wake up at 5am on St. Patrick's day to partake in the ritual of consuming green eggs, green ham, and plenty of green beer, you will be stocked with all the Irish heritage knowledge to get you through the day.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2012
Happy St. Patricks Day 2012
Sexy Irish Bartender |
The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight.
Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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