Christmas On The Grass Knoll

No No You Dummies - I Said The "Schmidt" House! The Schmidt House

The grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Below are my Christmas related posts from all the Grassy Knoll Institute categories with plenty of photo’s and humor.

Christmas Archives Below:

Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree
Santa Claus Reindeer Exact Revenge
A New And Improved Leg Lamp

Santa Claus Is A Mormon
Merry Christmas From The Bad Guy
The Ursuline High School Band (Circa 1942)
General Patton’s Prayer For Good Weather
A Parrot For A Gift
Award Winning Christmas Lights
The True Meaning Of Christmas
Bumpuses Sons A Bitches
A Christmas Story Movie Quotes
Most Popular Christmas Decoration In Minnesota
Happy New Year 2010
Lost Update: Island Of Misfit Toys
On the 11th Day Of Christmas
A Ticket To Ride (Christmas Humor)
On The 10th Day Of Christmas
On the 7th Day Of Christmas
On The 5th Day Of Christmas
On the First Day Of Christmas
Black Friday Thought Screen Helmet
Happy Thanksgiving
Christmas In July
Electric Socks And Christmas Trees
A Line In The Sand
Triple Dog Dare Video
Triple Dog Dared Stripper Pole
Top 10 Christmas Programs
Merry Christmas From The Grassy Knoll Institute
Santa Claus Conspiracy
The Mad Ice Scrapper
I Won A Major Award
Santa Clone Conspiracy
You Know Its Christmas Time When
Happy Thanksgiving Tradition
I’m Glad I Picked You
Hide The Sausage
Return To The Mall
Riding The Christmas Tree
Credit Card Gift Card
Circuit City 24 Minute Pledge
1960′s Christmas Memories

LURKING, MERRY CHRISTMAS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

A Christmas Ticket To Ride

On Christmas morning, a policeman on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The policeman said to the kid, “That’s a nice bike you got there son. Did Santa Clause get that for you?” The kid smiled and replied, “Yeah! Isn’t it great.” The policeman said, “Well next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike.” The policeman then proceeded to write the kid a $20.00 ticket for a bicycle safety violation.

The kid took the ticket but before he rode off he said, “By the way, that’s a nice looking horse you got there. Did Santa clause get that for you?” Humoring the kid, the policeman smiled and said, “Why yes, he sure did.” The kid said, “Well next year tell Santa Clause to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”

Merry FN Christmas!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1. 
   

   Max Jackl said

   December 28, 2009 at 9:30 am e
   LMAO!
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     December 29, 2009 at 9:30 pm e
     Thank you.
     Reply

Minnesota Vikings Christmas

Viking Thunder Report

11 Viking Victories

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Eleven Viking Victories.

The Minnesota Vikings are sitting at 11 wins and winner of the NFC North division. The next two games are critical to nail down the playoff bye week. Here’s to Adrian Peterson racking up 150 yards, Sidney Rice hauling in 100 receiving yards, Percy Harvin returning a kickoff for a score, and brett Favre to checking off into a running play.

Merry Christmas Viking Fans!!!

SKOL VIKINGS!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree

On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Thunder tangled in trimmings.

You all know my cat Thunder, the 4.5 pound cat that loves water, the sweeper, and my computer desk. She also loves helping me trim the Christmas tree. Here she is helping me untangle the silver tinsel.

Merry Christmas!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The Seventh Day Of Christmas

14 Deadly Sins

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins...

Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new "Modern" sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn't cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.

Pope Benedict XVI released his updated list of 7 new activities considered to be deadly, or mortal sins and wants all Catholics to incorporate the list into their lives and teach their children so that future generations will become more spiritual and Godlike.

The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:

1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.

2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)

3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.

4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)

6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.

7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.

Merry Christmas!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas

Pointy Thought Screen Helmet

 On the fifth day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Five Thought Screen Helmets...


Meet the Ferris family. Born and raised in Greenwood, Nebraska, the entire family has been repeatedly abducted by evil telepathic aliens during the Christmas holiday for the past 15 years. But not this year.

Thanks to the generous donation of five thought screen helmets from the rocket scientists at the Grassy Knoll Institute, the Ferris family will be safe this holy silent night.

Merry Christmas!

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

On The First Day Of Christmas

I Present The Leg Lamp - A Major Award

To kick off the Christmas Holiday season, I thought I would sing the Twelve Days Of Christmas for everyone. However, Patty informed me of the International ban from 35 countries preventing me from singing.

But its Christmas, so damn the torpedoes. Here goes...

On the first day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
A leg lamp in the window.

Oh yea, can you spot the LOTGK logo.
Hint, its not on the Italian lamp.

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LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL