Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

12/25/2011

Santa Claus Must Be A Mormon

sexy-santa-claus-babes
Merry Christmas From The Grassy Knoll
I guess we finally know why Santa is so jolly and only works one night a year. Ho Ho Ho and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Grassy Knoll Institute.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

 Responses to “Santa Claus Must Be A Mormon”


  1. Anonymous said

    December 27, 2011 at 1:29 pm e
    Lotgk: The Santa Claus being mormon thats not funny because I am Mormon
    Reply

  2. Gumby said

    December 27, 2011 at 2:08 pm e
    Looks like he gets busy every night of the year.
    Reply

  3. Anti-Christ said

    January 12, 2012 at 1:12 pm e
    Santa is not a mormon. Simply move the letters of his name around a tad.
    SANTA
    SATAN
    Reply
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12/21/2011

A Parrot For A Christmas Gift

A young man named John received a parrot as a Christmas gift. However the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and behavior. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “A Parrot For A Christmas Gift”


  1. Gumby said

    December 27, 2011 at 2:12 pm e
    I hear they taste just like chicken. :)
    Reply
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9/30/2011

And Nothing Will Ever Be The Same


It's astounding, Time is fleeting, Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely... Not for very much longer.
I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time-warp, Drinking those moments when,
The Blackness would hit me, And the void would be calling...
Let's do Halloween again.
Let's do Halloween again.

With a bit of a mind flip the 2011 Halloween season is upon us. Haunted houses are already on their second weekend, decorations dot residential houses, hay rides are at capacity, and the Halloween Dark Zone is dying to reveal the hottest adult Halloween costumes, plus home grown giant melons, urban legends, demons, ghosts, and all things Halloween.

Check the Dark Zone frequently as we will be updating continuously throughout the month of October.

And nothing will ever be the same.

Happy Halloween

LURKING, IN THE SHADOWS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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12/25/2010

The True Meaning Of Christmas

a-perfect-christmas-tree
A Perfect Christmas Tree
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, Keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them,
Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Grassy Knoll Institute.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “The True Meaning Of Christmas”


  1. Sandra said

    December 26, 2010 at 11:50 pm e
    What a beautiful Christmas tree. Do you decorate it for Christmas?
    Reply

  2. Sandra said

    December 26, 2010 at 11:51 pm e
    Hey, I see next to my comment a pink monster with pointy teeth. Why do you have this?
    Reply

  3. Gumby said

    December 27, 2010 at 8:17 am e
    That is one fine tree, not like the artificial ones. Just how tall is your living room roof?
    Reply

  4. Qweqe said

    December 27, 2010 at 11:11 pm e
    maker part of body as clamp/button of clotches………….!!!!!!!!!!! more sexy………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Reply

  5. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:26 am e
    Merry christmas and happy new year Grassy one.
    Reply
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12/24/2010

Bumpuses Sons Of Bitches

sons-of-bitches-bumpuses
All He Could Muster Was Not A Finga
The only recourse the old man could do after the neighbors dogs burst in the left open kitchen door and devoured the entire Thanksgiving Day turkey was, "BUMPUSES, SONS OF BITCHES!"

 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Curator of the Grassy Knoll Institute. Please drive safely this holiday season.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Bumpuses – Sons A Bitches”


  1. Gumby said

    December 27, 2010 at 8:16 am e
    Merry Christmas to you Pat. Glad you didn’t shoot your eye out.
    Reply

  2. Valdunagan said

    December 28, 2010 at 8:27 am e
    I love that sign. Where is that?
    Reply

  3. Jill said

    July 5, 2012 at 10:44 am e
    I just now saw your Sign post! Love it! Our street, which has speed bumps, is posted as 25 mph. The average driver goes about 45. Would it be fair to also post one in my front yard, with an arrow pointing at my neighbor’s house that says, “These Scumbags Lie About Their “Disability” To Collect Free Money From The Govt Each Month”
    Reply
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1/01/2010

Happy New Year 2010

happy-new-year-pussy-cat
Happy New Year From Thunder Cat Newman
From everyone here at the Grassy Knoll Institute, including our very own Thunder Cat Newman:
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Happy New Year 2010”


  1. Gumby said

    January 1, 2010 at 11:24 pm e
    Happy new year. You have one cool cat on your hands.
    Reply

  2. Leeuna said

    January 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm e
    Happy New Year!!! What a totally beautiful cat. Is he yours?
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      January 2, 2010 at 2:05 am e
      And Happy new Year to you.
      And yes, this is Thunder, my cat. She is 4.5 pounds and loves the shower, the sink, the blow dryer, and the sweeper. Crazy Cat for sure.
      Reply

  3. Fracas said

    January 2, 2010 at 5:24 pm e
    Happy New Year to you… and Thunder (well ok, and anyone else living in your home with you that I, as a reader of your blog but yet… a stranger, am not aware of but who would be important to you nonetheless because after all, those people must be more important to you than us and we accept that…)
    ;-)
    Reply

  4. Izzy said

    January 3, 2010 at 2:21 am e
    Wild cat dude. Did it let you shoot those fireworks at her.
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      January 5, 2010 at 8:24 am e
      They weren’t fireworks, they were party poppers. and no, we didn’t shoot them at Thunder, we placed the streamers on her head after the fact.
      Reply

  5. DataKing said

    January 4, 2010 at 12:17 pm e
    Cool Cat. Happy new year grassy knoll institute.
    Reply


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12/24/2009

A Christmas Ticket To Ride

On Christmas morning, a policeman on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The policeman said to the kid, “That’s a nice bike you got there son. Did Santa Clause get that for you?” The kid smiled and replied, “Yeah! Isn’t it great.” The policeman said, “Well next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike.” The policeman then proceeded to write the kid a $20.00 ticket for a bicycle safety violation.
The kid took the ticket but before he rode off he said, “By the way, that’s a nice looking horse you got there. Did Santa clause get that for you?” Humoring the kid, the policeman smiled and said, “Why yes, he sure did.” The kid said, “Well next year tell Santa Clause to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”
Merry FN Christmas!
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “A Ticket To Ride Christmas”


  1. Max Jackl said

    December 28, 2009 at 9:30 am e
    LMAO!
    Reply

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12/23/2009

On The Tenth Day Of Christmas

christmas-pussy-trim
Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree

 On the tenth day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Thunder tangled in trimmings.

You all know my cat Thunder, the 4.5 pound cat that loves water, the sweeper, and my computer desk. She also loves helping me trim the Christmas tree. Here she is helping me untangle the silver tinsel.

Merry Christmas!


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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12/14/2009

On The First Day Of Christmas

leg-lamp-a-major-award
I Present The Leg Lamp - A Major Award
To kick off the Christmas Holiday season, I thought I would sing the Twelve Days Of Christmas for everyone. However, Patty informed me of the International ban from 35 countries preventing me from singing.

But its Christmas, so damn the torpedoes. Here goes...

On the first day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
A leg lamp in the window.

Oh yea, can you spot the LOTGK logo.
Hint, its not on the Italian lamp.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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12/02/2009

Lost Update - Island Of Misfit Toys


Lost Update – Prelude To Season Six – 12/25/2009
It’s Christmas day and instead of dreaming of sugar plums dancing in my head, I’m thinking about season six of ABC Lost. In particularly, how similar Lost is to the 1964 animated Christmas special, Rudolph The Red nosed Reindeer, but more exact, to the Island Of Misfit Toys.
Let me explain…..
island of misfit toys from rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Misfit Island
Lost takes place on a mysterious island inhabited by outlandish people where everyone on the island seems to be an outsider, one that doesn’t fit in well within society. Misfit Island is a mysterious secluded island home to misfit toys, toys that just don’t seem to fit in to society.
_______________________________________________
bumbles bouncs, the abominable snowman
Bumbles Bounce
The Lost island is inhabited by a ferocious monster that pops up and terrorizes the inhabitants. They call it the Smoke Monster. There are secrets that certain people know about the monster and are somehow able to control it. Misfit island also has a ferocious monster. They call it The Bumble. And Yukon Cornelius knows that Bumbles bounce and knows how to control it. They ain’t nothing without their choppers.
_________________________________________________

Guns On Lost
On Lost, there are plenty of guns on the island. Sawyer has a suitcase of guns. Kate has guns. Jack has guns. The others have guns. The other others have guns. On Misfit island, one of the toys is a gun. A significance that a gun played a prominent character on Misfit island.
________________________________________________

Boat That Don't Float
On the Lost island, there was a freighter that brought the evil others to the island. The boat sank. Also, John Locke sunk the submarine stationed on the island. Desmond’s boat ran aground on the island. All the boats seem to sink on the Lost island. Misfit island also has a boat, and guess what, it doesn’t float either. Coincidence? I think not!
_________________________________________________

Misfit Campfire
On Lost, the central point was the camp the castaways gathered around. From the pilot episode when the castaways were around the camp fire and the smoke monster made it’s first appearance, to the others cabins community. Misfit island also had a camp fire site that was the focal point.
_______________________________________________

King Moonraiser
Moving on, the Lost island has a mysterious powerful entity that runs the lives of the castaways and the others. People call him Jacob, who lives in the old Egyptian style ruins. on Misfit island, the broken toys are governed by King Moonraiser, a mysterious flying lion that lives in a castle that looks very similar to an Egyptian palace.
______________________________________________

Misfit Castle
This is King Moonraiser and the throne he sits on governing over all the misfit toys. He goes out searching the world every night and brings back toys that have been abandoned and not loved anymore. On Lost, Jacob has also visited people and apparently brought them back to the island. All the people on the island seem to be broken and unloved.
_____________________________________________________

Dr. Jack Sheppard
Meet Herbie, misfit, dentist. He moonlights making toys in Christmas town. The head elf is always on his case telling him how inadequate he is and that he is not up to standard with all the other elves. On Lost, Herbie is Jack Sheppard. The surgeon is in his fathers domineering shadow. Somehow Jack doesn’t fit in and wants to start fresh.
______________________________________________

Christian Sheppard
Although he doesn’t look anything like Christian Sheppard, the head elf of Christmas town is a lot like him. One can only speculate if the head elf liked to tip a few back during work hours, but we do know he had a change of heart towards Herbie and even opened up to him, just like Christian did with Jack.
____________________________________________________

Sawyer - James
On Lost Sawyer is the bad boy and the comic relief of the show. Everyone calls him Sawyer but his real name is James. On Misfit island, Charlie, the “Charlie In The Box” was mistaken for a jack In the Box. Just his mere physical appearance makes him the comic relief.
_________________________________________________

Kate Austin
On Lost, Kate is a woman being brought back to justice in handcuffs. She alienated herself from everyone in her life. No one loved her anymore. Misfit island has Dollie, who looks a lot like Kate, and all she wants to be is loved again.
_______________________________________________

Hurley
On lost, Hurley, an over weight luckiest unluckiest person on the planet just wanted to get away and have a simple existence. I’m just saying that the pink elephant reminds me of Hurley. A lot!
____________________________________

Yukon
Misfit island has Yukon Cornelius, prospector, miner, authority figure, and controller of the Bumble. No one knows how he go there but he seems to know the lay of the land. On Lost, John Locke knows how to control the smoke monster, knows the way of the Lost island, and is an authority figure on the island.
_______________________________________________

Lost Season Six
So there it is. ABC Lost is about a group of misfits stranded on a deserted island where supernatural things occur. Each character just wants to be loved again and have a normal life. Misfit island is a place inhabited by broken unloved toys governed by a supernatural flying lion. all the toys want is to get off the island and be loved again.
______________________________________________
Merry Christmas Lost Fans.
LURKING, NOT REALLY LOST, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Responses to “Lost Update – Island Of Misfit Toys”


  1. Lost Forever said

    December 27, 2009 at 1:56 am e
    Your lost site never ceases to amaze me. You took a 1960s cartoon and turned it into a lost parody. And what amazes me is that its believeable. LOL. One year of Lost left, 16 episodes. Cant wait for the end.
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      December 27, 2009 at 9:01 pm e
      A smidgen of truth always makes the tale more believable.
      Also, I just watched the Star Trek 11 DVD last night, and in the added bonus features, J.J. Abrams offered up that Rod serling’s Twilight Zone was his favorite television show growing up.
      So perhaps I am correct when i say that Lost is based on the Zone. We shall see.
      Reply

      • N.Y. Nick said

        January 15, 2010 at 4:01 am e
        LOTGK- i thought i told you before, i might be remembering a post i made somewhere else, but you are correct about your “Twilight Zone” theory! I still give you the credit you deserve for being able to see the parrallels on your own, and articulate them on many levels. Not only did you make comparisons of “Lost” to the overall concept of “Twilight Zone” as a whole series, you broke down different episodes and how the detals of that particular episode connected to “Lost” , wether the connection was which characters represent which characters on lost, or a certian phenomenom in a episode will compare whats happening on “Lost”. You also compare particular “Twilight Zone” episodes to the overall concept of “Lost” as a whole series.
        With that said, from the very begining it was a show meant to be “Twilight Zone” meets “Survivor”! JJ Abrahms, Damon Lindeloff, Carlton Cuse, and many more writers/producers never kept that a secret from square one. The people who bring us “Lost” are extremely well read and intelligent intelectuals who got ideas for “Lost” from many differnt books, movies, mythology etc… Anytime you see a book or a reference to pop culture there is a reason. Even though they got ideas from many sources, the main concept of “Lost” is from “Twilight Zone”
        I want to read all the books that are seen or talked about in “Lost”. They show them for a reason!
        Reply

        • LOTGK said

          January 16, 2010 at 9:43 pm e
          My very first Lost update mentions a Twilight Zone feel for the show, way before any websites and blogs popped up with every theory under the sun.
          I still stand by my theory. We’ll know in May.
          Reply

  2. Fracas said

    December 27, 2009 at 3:47 pm e
    Hope you had a Happy Christmas!
    Reply

    • LOTGK said

      December 27, 2009 at 9:03 pm e
      Yes we did, thank you.
      I hope you did as well and hope for the new year to bring you joy, happiness, health, and twice as many comments as 2009. :D
      Reply

  3. Max Jackl said

    December 28, 2009 at 9:28 am e
    Whats going to happen if you turn out to be correct.
    When worlds collide.
    Reply

  4. Flip Across said

    January 4, 2010 at 10:42 am e
    This is genius. Hilarious. Insightful. Thanks. Happy holidays to you as well misfit island toys.
    Reply

  5. Dee said

    January 4, 2010 at 11:43 pm e
    CANT WAIT 4 LOST AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Reply

  6. Becky M said

    January 5, 2010 at 4:21 pm e
    I just love this show. Rudolph, not Lost. The bumble is so cute without his teeth. I have the stuff doll of him.
    Reply

  7. Anti-Christ said

    January 8, 2010 at 9:26 am e
    You got it all wrong. Misfit Island is not associated at all with Lost. Its a picture of Purgatory, where all people stop on their journey to either heaven or Hell. Rudolph is a bitch.
    Reply

  8. Jones Bones said

    February 3, 2010 at 2:50 pm e
    Man, you are way out in left field. Funny though but weird funny.
    Reply
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