Ober Gatlinburg Ski Mountain Coaster

When in Gatlinburg, you must take time to visit Ober Gatlinburgs Ski Mountain Coaster. You can access Ober via Ski Mountain Road with your car (Parking at the top is $5 dollars for all day) or you can take the Sky Tram ($15 per person) located on the Parkway.

The coaster is of course settled along the mountain. It is an easy walk to the ticket booth. The cost per ride is $15 dollars. Three rides (Same rider) is $36 dollars.

Cash and credit cards are accepted as payment.

Once paid, we walked through a small souvenir and snack shop and up the steps to the coaster. The lines were not long at all.

When it was our turn, we got into the sleds, strapped in, and waited for instructions from the employee working there. Instructions were printed on the walls on the side and in front. The employee simply reiterated the rules.

When given the signal, you press down on both handles of your sled and away you go.
Tip; On the trek up the mountain, you do not have to hold the handles down. Your sled is attached to a cable that pulls you to the top of the mountain.

The sled course winds slowly upward to the top, it takes about 5 minutes or so to get there. As the sled reaches the pinnacle a sign informs you to press both handles all the way down to allow the sled to go.

And wow do you go. The sled is attached to a steel rail system, and it cannot come detached from the rail. Seconds after you push the handles the hills become steep and the sled zooms around wicked turns and vicious curves. The coaster does have hills, but more like humps as it propels itself down the mountain slope.

I swear it feels like you are going 60 miles per hour but I think it is only 30 miler per hour or so.

At the end of the ride a sign informs you to slow down by lifting the handles slightly and you coast into the station. You unstrap and step out.

As you exit, you can purchase a picture taken of you during the coaster ride. Its $15 dollars but other sizes and packages are available.

Total ride time about 7 minutes. Total thrill time just under two minutes.

I rate this at 4.5-5 instead of 5-5 because of the cost. It like the hill, is steep. It would be nice if Ober could somehow incorporate this ride with the rest of the amusement area to make it more affordable. Ober offers an all day ride pass for the Chair lift, Alpine Sled, mirror maze, Blue Typhoon, and the other rides and attractions but you must pay seperately for the Ski Coaster.

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Bring Me Solo And The Wookie

I was recently at the Ripley's Aquarium in the Smoky mountains in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. In the shark tank, this one particular sawfish kept circling and then finally settled right above to rest on the glass. As I was watching the fish, (That's what I do when I'm in aquariums) it started moving it's mouth. In that instant, the sawfish looked like Jabba The Hut. I started laughing. I pointed out Jabba to my wife Patty and of course I had to speak the obligatory line, "Bring me Solo and the Wookie!" Watch it again and listen to me state the classic line.

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Arkansas Fish And Bird Mystery Solved

Over the past several weeks, interesting reports have been coming in from several small communities in Arkansas as thousands of birds dropped dead from the sky in mass while over one hundred thousand dead fish washed ashore with little explanation.

News reports claim perhaps fireworks celebrations or high altitude lightning were the cause, but that doesn't explain the dead fish nor the second event of birds dying.

The Grassy Knoll Institute did some digging around in the towns of Beebe and Ozark Arkansas, where these mass deaths have occurred and found townsfolk are talking more about the bright and wonderful light show in the sky that has been going on for over a month. Eye witnesses report that almost every night around 11PM orange and white orbs appear in the sky and seem to float effortlessly across the horizon. Some people described them as almost being biological in nature, as if they were alive, and not mechanical.

The Grassy Knoll Institute operatives were intrigued and decided to set up camp in a quiet clearing outside the town of Ozark with a unobsctructed view of the night sky. At precisely 11:01PM our camera's started rolling and recorded the following 45 seconds of film showing orange orbs slowly rising from the lake and gracefully rising into the night sky.

What we captured is unknown at this time, as the footage was flown to our secret lab for analysis. Until a complete analysis is completed, we can only speculate what we witnessed and will let you be the judge. The film is below.

We believe that the birds were attracted to the soothing glowing orbs and flew into them meeting their fate. As the birds flew into the swarm of lights, they became confused and scattered flying erratic and knocking into themselves falling to their death. Also observed was a pulsing electromagnetic energy emanating from the center of the orbs that perhaps when the birds came in contact with them killed them instantly. 

 Concerning the fish, perhaps while the orbs were in the lake water, the fish in the surrounding area were electrocuted by the pulse forcing them to wash up on shore. Why is the government keeping this part of the story out of the news? Is the government attempting to cover up the obvious UFO connection to the deaths of these birds and fish? The grassy Knoll Institute will answer these questions as soon as the film footage is fully analyzed.

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Triple Dog Dare

Triple Dog Dared!

Great Christmas gift. Really slow in adding it to the Institute, but I am committed to getting everything up to date. (Someday anyway!) Make sure your speakers are turned up. (No, a scary monster won't jump out at you. It's just so you can hear the dialog.) Enjoy.

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Gatlinburg Aquarium Shark Tank

On a tip from a reliable source that Jimmy Hoffa's remains were buried under the Smoky Mountains Aquarium owned and operated by Ripley's, the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists immediately went there to investigate. We didn't find Hoffa, however, we snapped a few shots while inside the aquarium.

As you can see, the aquarium is huge. Sharks and other fish swim on the side and above you as you wind your way through the aquarium.

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