On The Seventh Day Of Christmas

14 Deadly Sins

On the seventh day of Christmas,
The Grassy Knoll sent to me,
Seven new deadly sins...

Vatican City, Rome:
Pope Benedict XVI announced today the Catholic Church, after 1500 years, has revised its list of the 7 deadly sins and added 7 new "Modern" sins. The Pope felt that with the globalization of religion, a new focus on the evils of society had to be addressed. The original seven deadly sins of Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Greed, and Sloth just couldn't cover the complex society humanity has evolved into.

Pope Benedict XVI released his updated list of 7 new activities considered to be deadly, or mortal sins and wants all Catholics to incorporate the list into their lives and teach their children so that future generations will become more spiritual and Godlike.

The Modern Seven deadly Sins are as follows:

1. Yanni: Any musician that irritates an audience to the level of hostile intentions.

2. Speidi: To overexpose oneself to the level of vomitus claiming self-importance. (See Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag)

3. Lip Sync Ashley: Thou shall not charge huge amounts of money for a concert or event and Lip Sync to the audience.

4. Too Dutch: To hate for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

5. A Gosselin: Allowing parents to exploit their children for profit or fame by forcing them on reality shows. (See Jon And Kate Plus 8 and Balloon Boy Dad)

6. Kanyeism: To interrupt award ceremonies, weddings, other events with intent to blather on how the winner is not deserving of said accomplishment.

7. Bushing: To run the world economy into a recessionary state all for the good of one man or company.

Merry Christmas!

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Birth Of The Anti-Christ

June Sixth, 2006. Another way to write it is, 06/06/06. And yet another way is 666. Those who do not understand the significance of the numbers or the date, please click the exit button on your browser. (You will be the first to perish during the Rapture I guarantee it) For those that do understand the numbers, the Grassy Knoll Institute is set to reveal the worlds oldest conspiracy.

June 6th, 2006 is upon us. If you have read you bible, (And you should have) especially the Book of Revelations, than you recognize 666 as the number of the beast, or the Anti-Christ. Revelations state that he will be recognized and known by this mark.

Perhaps this 666 mark is not a visible mark. As in movies depicting the Anti-Christ, 666 is burned into the skin on the back of the head of the Anti-Christ. That my friends would be to easy to spot and eliminate the danger, and avoid the prophecy of the bible.

So how else could 666 recognize and denote the Anti-Christ? Perhaps it is merely a date, an insignificant day throughout the millennia that goes unnoticed. Such as today's date, 06/06/06. How very clever for the Anti-Christ to choose this form of delivery method. Thousands of babies throughout the world on every continent will be born on this day, June 6th, 2006. Every single one of them is a potential Antichrist. This is the perfect way to hide and to guarantee that the Anti-Christ will not be hunted down and slaughtered before it can reach its peak power and influence.

Each passing year, a birthday celebration will mark this day for many of these children. The prophecy will come to fruition as these children will be recognized each and every year as they celebrate their birthdays.

It is said that the first Pope elected in the third Millennium, (The number of man) will reveal the third secret of Fatima. We now have a new Pope as John Paul II passed away last year and Pope Benedict the XVI is now in command of the Catholic faith. Could this third secret possibly reveal the way the Anti-Christ will enter this world?

As the years unfold, the Book of Revelations state that the Anti-Christ will grow in power and influence very quickly. I wonder how we, as civilized society folk will look upon a child born on this date if he or she possesses special abilities such as a genius IQ or a persuasive demeanor where people stop and listen to what he or she says. These children will be closely watched and scrutinized for the rest of their lives in fear that they are witnessing the dawning of the Anti-Christ.

Or, on the other edge of the sword. A child born on this day that is ruthless, mean, manipulative, and heartless. Again, these children will be closely observed.

What if religious zealots want to take matters into their own hands and stalk and attempt to murder a child they believe is the Anti-Christ before it can rise to power and damn the world?

The Grassy Knoll Institute believes there will come a time when one will have to choose faith over reason. The Grassy Knoll Institute believes that time is here and now. The clock is ticking. There are 33 years left, the age of Christ when he was crucified. Prepare your house and soul readers. The rapture is upon us.

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The Gospel According To Judas

On April 13th, 2006, the Catholic holy day Good Friday, the day Jesus was tortured and crucified in public for three hours until his death, a very special artifact was located at the Vatican. An artifact that sheds a blinding light on the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

At the Vatican, the Cardinals gathered in secrecy after morning mass to discuss the ramifications of their startling discovery. Plausible deniability was bantered around until the Grassy Knoll Institute leaked the story.

Inside the Vatican, there is a vast library filled with religious books, scrolls, and documents. Also in the library, the Vatican has a 5000 square foot room that was sealed in 1215 by Pope Innocent III and by decree was not to be opened until February 19th, 2010.

With the arrival of a new Pope, Benedict XVI, new routines and regulations were implemented to accommodate the new Pope.

During this transition, a new staff was hired and appointed to attend to the popes needs. Several priors were appointed to the master library to assist the current staff as Pope Benedict XVI is an avid reader of scriptures. The Pope would be asking for the ancient texts of many scriptures to study to help in his decision making for the future of the Catholic faith.

Last month, the Pope requested a copy of the Magna Carta penned in the year 1215. The new prior, in his attempts to locate the document, stumbled upon the door sealed by Pope Innocent III in 1215. The prior, after some quick research, determined that the Magna Carta document was located in the locked room. The prior unsealed the door, opened it, and light shone upon the room for the first time in centuries. The prior searched the shelves but could not find the document requested. What he did find however, was the Gospel according to Judas, one of the twelve Apostles of Jesus.

As luck would have it, the Grassy Knoll Institute had several operatives at the Vatican and was a witness to the Gospel by Judas as the prior removed it from the room believing it was a wondrous artifact found.

The resident Cardinals instantly knew the prior had erred. The seal was broken, the room was filled with fresh air, and bright light. In a matter of minutes, the Vatican was quarantined and locked down. Minimum exposure was the prudent course of action agreed upon by the Cardinals and the Pope.

However, the so-called genie was out of the bottle. The staff and local personel in the Vatican knew the secret.

Through a deal negotiated with the Grassy Knoll Institute operatives at the Vatican, the context of the Gospel was presented to us. (We will say the five Hail Marys and Five Our Fathers at a later date)

Upon inspection of the gospel, Judas was not portrayed as the traitor he was made out to be in the other testaments. In fact, Judas writes that it was Jesus who insisted that he turn him over to the Roman soldiers at Gethsemane. Judas at first refused knowing he would be damned for all time as the traitor who turned Jesus over. Jesus told Judas that he was the strongest of faith of the Apostles. He told Judas that Peter would deny him, and that Thomas needed exact proof before he would believe. The other Apostles all had small weaknesses except for Judas. Judas had blind faith. He would do anything for his Lord. And he did.

Judas wrote that after Jesus explained what had to occur, he reluctantly agreed and they both began devising their plan. Jesus being a gentle man, did not want any violence or bloodshed when he was captured. It would have to be when he was away from the crowds. The destiny of both Jesus and Judas would be set in motion when it was decided that Judas would go to the priests and speak to them about Jesus losing control of the crowds of people worshipping him and now calling him the Messiah. Judas would claim he was fearful for the entire population if Rome became concerned with this man called Jesus. Judas was paid for his efforts, the notorious 30 pieces of silver and told the priests where they could find Jesus away from the crowd. The rest is history.

This version is very different from the other four "Official" Gospels. Judas was portrayed as a traitor, acting alone giving Jesus up to the Romans for a hefty sum of silver. But, according to Judas, he was doing the Lords bidding, and a deal between him and the Lord would only be known to Judas and Jesus. Until today.

This version has merit for in every conspiracy and assassination, the first order of business is to silence the assassin. Judas gives up Jesus, the other 11 Apostles conspire and make public a report, a history of the events that took place to be recorded as history and believed to be fact. Judas was then silenced by an apparent suicide.

If you would simply replace Judas with Oswald, and the Apostles with the Warren commission, and Jesus with Kennedy, history sort of repeated itself. Not once, but time after time throughout the ages.

Maybe in 50 or so years, hidden documents will shed new light on the Kennedy assassination. Perhaps a hidden document, or photo, or manuscript, detailing the days events as they really were, not what the Warren commission and media led us to believe. Perhaps a man in a few years from now will be on his death bed, and will look up to the nurses aid and reveal the location of this precious information.

Three days later Christ rose from the dead and returned to the Apostles to proclaim everlasting life to all those who believed in him. But that is another story.

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Pope Benedict XVI Announces Radical Changes

In his morning mass this Sunday, Pope Benedict XVI announced to the Vatican congregation that radical changes to the Catholic clergy will be immediately implemented. Beginning this day, all priests will be permitted to take a wife as well as all nuns will be permitted to have a husband. These changes are meant to increase the number of men and women to the calling of the priest hood and nunnery.

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