Christmas On The Grass Knoll

No No You Dummies - I Said The "Schmidt" House! The Schmidt House

The grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Below are my Christmas related posts from all the Grassy Knoll Institute categories with plenty of photo’s and humor.

Christmas Archives Below:

Thunder Cat Newman Trimming The Tree
Santa Claus Reindeer Exact Revenge
A New And Improved Leg Lamp

Santa Claus Is A Mormon
Merry Christmas From The Bad Guy
The Ursuline High School Band (Circa 1942)
General Patton’s Prayer For Good Weather
A Parrot For A Gift
Award Winning Christmas Lights
The True Meaning Of Christmas
Bumpuses Sons A Bitches
A Christmas Story Movie Quotes
Most Popular Christmas Decoration In Minnesota
Happy New Year 2010
Lost Update: Island Of Misfit Toys
On the 11th Day Of Christmas
A Ticket To Ride (Christmas Humor)
On The 10th Day Of Christmas
On the 7th Day Of Christmas
On The 5th Day Of Christmas
On the First Day Of Christmas
Black Friday Thought Screen Helmet
Happy Thanksgiving
Christmas In July
Electric Socks And Christmas Trees
A Line In The Sand
Triple Dog Dare Video
Triple Dog Dared Stripper Pole
Top 10 Christmas Programs
Merry Christmas From The Grassy Knoll Institute
Santa Claus Conspiracy
The Mad Ice Scrapper
I Won A Major Award
Santa Clone Conspiracy
You Know Its Christmas Time When
Happy Thanksgiving Tradition
I’m Glad I Picked You
Hide The Sausage
Return To The Mall
Riding The Christmas Tree
Credit Card Gift Card
Circuit City 24 Minute Pledge
1960′s Christmas Memories

LURKING, MERRY CHRISTMAS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

A Parrot For A Christmas Gift

A young man named John received a parrot as a Christmas gift. However the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and behavior. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, when the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

Back To Christmas Holiday Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1. 
   

   Gumby said

   December 27, 2011 at 2:12 pm e
   I hear they taste just like chicken. 
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     December 28, 2011 at 2:58 pm e
     Or rabbits. They were delicious.
     Reply
   • 
     

A Christmas Ticket To Ride

On Christmas morning, a policeman on horseback was sitting at a traffic light, and next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The policeman said to the kid, “That’s a nice bike you got there son. Did Santa Clause get that for you?” The kid smiled and replied, “Yeah! Isn’t it great.” The policeman said, “Well next year, tell Santa to put a tail light on that bike.” The policeman then proceeded to write the kid a $20.00 ticket for a bicycle safety violation.

The kid took the ticket but before he rode off he said, “By the way, that’s a nice looking horse you got there. Did Santa clause get that for you?” Humoring the kid, the policeman smiled and said, “Why yes, he sure did.” The kid said, “Well next year tell Santa Clause to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”

Merry FN Christmas!

Back To Christmas Holiday Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

1. 
   

   Max Jackl said

   December 28, 2009 at 9:30 am e
   LMAO!
   Reply
   • 
     

     LOTGK said

     December 29, 2009 at 9:30 pm e
     Thank you.
     Reply