Leprechaun Mating Ritual

Leprechaun Mating Rituals Revealed

A little unknown fact about Leprechaun's:
All Leprechauns are males. There are no female Leprechauns.
Certainly doesn't make for a happy little cobbler.
Logically, one has to ask how Leprechauns procreate:
Once a year, a Leprechaun sets out on a sojourn that takes him into the desert of Las Vegas, Nevada. He then uses his gold coins from his pot of gold to seduce young beautiful women enticing them to remove clothing by throwing said coins at her.
Afterward, he slyly invites the smitten woman back to a private room with comfortable chairs. As the Leprechaun sits back in his chair, the smitten girl performs a mating ritual dance for him that brings a happy ending for all.
To increase the Leprechauns odds of procreating, he sometimes adds another female (Usually having to pay double for that type of action)

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY 

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Worst St. Patricks Day Float

Worst St. Patricks Day Float Ever

In many cities and towns across the United States this Saturday, grand St. Patrick's Day parades filled with green floats and fire trucks will wind up and down parkways. Thousands of spectators all dressed in their Irish green garb will cheer and clap as each float and attraction glides by and marching bands play all the favorite Irish folk songs.

And then you see it, creeping along from the rear slowly coming into focus. The worst St. Patrick's Day float.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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Leprechaun Down On His Luck

Leprechaun Down On His Luck

Seamus, of the Limerick Leprechaun clan, down on his luck in the weak world economy. He invested his entire pot of gold buying a stake in the motion picture John Carter knowing how well Disney movies historically do at theaters.

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Getting Pinched On St. Patrick's Day

Getting Pinched On St. Patricks Day

In the United States, wearing green on St. Patrick's day pays tribute to the Emerald Isle, (Ireland) and it’s good people but also so you don’t get pinched. That’s right. Pinched! If you forget or choose not to wear green on St. Patrick’s day, your friends have the right to pinch you for not wearing green. Usually the pinching occurs on the back side but other area's of the body is acceptable as well.

There you have it, the reason for Wearin O The Green.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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A Little Irish Humor

Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty terribly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.

Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."

The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."

The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."

Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."

"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."

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Irish Humor - Jesus Is My Brother-In-Law

Paddy got in an automobile accident and was taken to a Catholic hospital in Dublin.
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"

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Now That Is How You River Dance In Ireland

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An Old Irish Prayer

May those who love us, love us;
And those who don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
But if God doesn’t turn their hearts,
May God turn their ankles.
So we’ll know them by their limping.

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