Michael Jackson In Disguise

Michael Jackson Returns To The States!

Michael Jackson, self appointed legendary King Of Pop made a surprise visit to the United States today ending his self imposed exile to Hollywood and the pop music culture.

Jackson had a very public trial for child molestation several years back on which he was acquitted but did admit to "Sleeping" with several of his young sleep over friends. After the trial, he left the states to regather his thoughts and avoid the tabloid spotlight.

We hardly recognized you through all the makeup.

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Lost Update - Damn Dirty Ape

Lost Update Season IV 03/27/2008

There has been a lot of speculation about the “Foot” seen on the Lost island. The foot was shown only once and only for a precious few seconds. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been asked to explain the foot and what we believe it’s significance is to the Lost series. Our simple short answer is… Everything.

The photo above is of the famous Lost Foot. Take a good look at it. Not just the base featuring the four toed foot wearing a sandal, but the entire statue. Notice that it is broken and only partially intact. (This is important) One wonders what the entire statue looked like before it crumbled. What was attached to the foot? What was surrounding the statue? Perhaps the next photo below will shed some light on what the foot represents.

For those of you who do not recognize the photo, it is from the final scene of the classic 1968 movie, Planet Of The Apes.
(Dramatic Pause!)

Yes folks, the foot is none other than that of the "Lawgiver," the Christ figure of Ape World in the movie. Notice that the foot is broken and the pedestal is crumbled. Now notice the broken Statue Of Liberty. Both the Lawgiver and Statue Of Liberty are cultural icons, easily recognizable, and placed in prominent places.

Still not convinced?! Need more proof? No problem. Take a look at the picture below of the Lawgiver, an actual prop used on the set of Planet Of The Apes. Notice the Lawgiver has four toes and wearing sandals just like the foot on Lost. Both the foot and Lawgiver are the same color and texture.

There's still more! I told you this was a special Lost Update.

The screenplay of Planet Of The Apes was written by none other than Sci-Fi guru Rod Serling, the creator of the Twilight Zone, (A Sci-Fi supernatural television show from the 1960's depicting ordinary people thrust into bizarre and unexplainable situations with plenty of twists of fates and moral consequences.)


From reading the Grassy Knoll Institute Lost Updates, we all know that the program is similar to the old sci-fi series Twilight Zone and that the characters are from Twilight Zone episodes. This link will act as a refresher course to the TZ links. Lost In The Twilight Zone

Lets delve a little deeper into the Planet of The Apes and Lost to compare the story outlines of each.

On Lost, we all know the story begins with a plane crash. Same as with Planet Of The Apes. The spaceship crashed in the water and Taylor and the rest of the survivors swam to shore.

On Lost, they crashed on a strange mysterious island and we were immediately introduced to an invisible monster and miraculous healing properties. Planet Of The Apes also crashed on a strange mysterious planet and introduced the audience to talking apes who were the dominant species on this distant planet.

We learn on Lost that time is somehow distorted and perhaps is taking place in the past or the future. On Planet of The Apes, we learn that 2500 years have passed for the marooned astronauts.

Ben and the others village on Lost are the counterparts to the apes and Ape City on Planet Of The Apes.

The final scene has not yet been aired for Lost, (We have two more years for that) but by looking at Planet of The Apes, we can hazard a guess.

The ending of Planet of the Apes showed Taylor riding off with Nova, the female human mate he had chosen along the shoreline to find his destiny. He is warned by Dr. Zaius, the leader of Ape City, that he wouldn't like what he finds ahead. (Ben also warned the castaways that leaving is bad)

A few minutes more of following the shoreline and Taylor comes to the shocking realization that he is not on a distant planet, but at home, planet Earth, and that the world has destroyed itself and now apes rule in their place.

An old broken and half buried Statue Of Liberty drives home that realization as Taylor cries on the shore, "You finally did it, Damn you all to hell!"

There you go Lost fans. The meaning of the Foot.

Until next week, GET LOST!

Back To Lost Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Big Brother Is Watching

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don't pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. This Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O'Malleys tavern pounding a few....Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Woman Displays Her Bust

Bust On Display At Pensacola Florida Art Symposium

In a bold and daring move for the art world to see her "Talents," Graphic Design Artist extraordinaire The Latest Slub, proudly displayed her bust for all of Florida to see at the prestigious annual Art symposium.

I have to say it was the hit of the symposium.

PS: It looks just like your Halloween costume.

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Burger Chef Is Still In Business

The Burger Chef fast food hamburger chain, defunct since the mid 1980's is making a come back.

Hardee's corporation, owner of the Burger Chef brand name relinguished the rights of the name in late 2006. When Hardee's bought all the Burger chef's, they immediately began converting them all to Hardee's fast food restaurants until no more burger Chef's were in business.

In January an entrepreneur constructed a replica of the Burger Chef restaurant and began serving the standard fare that was originally on the menu in the 1970's.

To kick off the grand opening, Burger Chef was offering the Super chef, which according to the Guinness book or world records, is the largest cheeseburger ever made.

Even more incredulous, Burger Chef has also rolled back prices to mid 1970's making this cheeseburger costing only 99 cents.

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Nude Gymnast On Las Vegas BLVD

I was in Las Vegas last week for the Halloween Trade show hosted at the Sands Exposition convention. While on my way to work one morning, I snapped this photo of a naked gymnast doing her Olympic routine. I must admit, she was very good. she had a fabulous routine and stuck her dismount perfectly.

However, the French judge on the scene was not impressed and awarded her the bronze medal.

Goddamn French judges!!!

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Wordpress March 2008 Wrap-Up

Wordpress March 2008 Wrap up by none other than WP's own blog extraordinaire Keymaster Matt:

March came in like a lion and went out like a lamb. Winter is over and more than warmer weather is in store for Wordpress.

In the month of March on Wordpress:

25,245,329 blogs were created. (Thats up 85%)
2,432,478 new users joined. (Up 245% from last month)
11,920,593 file uploads. (A mind boggling statistic)
22,814,893 posts and 21,996,427 new pages. (And two cherry sno-cones)
544,961,330 comments. (With 50% of them stating, "Way cool blog dude.")
423,813,432 logins. (With 32% of them non-human log ins)
74,540,799,534 pageviews on WordPress.com, and another 1,304,499,648 on self-hosted blogs. (Thats a hell of a lot of taco's.)
1,726,789 active blogs in February, where “active” means they got a human visitor. (Trolls were counted as a half visitor slightly skewing results)

For more than two years now, Wordpress bloggers have been lighting up the WP forums pleading for more add-ons to be made available to them including scripts. Well, today is your lucky day WP'ers.

Wordpress has listened. Beginning tomorrow, WP will introduce several selected fully functional Chat Boards approved by the Keymasters of WP. A tagboard widgit will appear on your Tool Bar Manage page that you will need to customize and install.

But that's not all. WP management is excited to announce a new contest on the forums for the most wanted script widgit. The widgit with the most votes will be rewritten by WP tech heads and rolled out by the end of April for all to use.

WP management promises to roll out several more scripts and widgits by the end of 2008.

Until next months wrap-up.

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

Zombama And Hellary In 2008

Introducing Every Republican's Nightmare!

To combat the popular Republican party nominee John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have put their differences aside and teamed together as a united Democratic presidential nomination for 2008.

Upon accepting the nomination, Barack thanked his spiritual leader for the guidance, wisdom and contributions to his campaign as he moved forward in his determination to fix the problems of the country.

Hillary only had this to say about the nomination. There will be hell to pay. That's right, I'm a bitch, deal with it.

Brought to you by Morbid Industries, leading Halloween props and costumes company.

Back To April Fool's Archives

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL