Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty terribly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."
The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."
The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."
Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."
"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/12/2012
3/10/2012
Irish Humor - Jesus Is My Brother-In-Law
Paddy got in an automobile accident and was taken to a Catholic hospital in Dublin.
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
After the doctor stitched Paddy up and stabilized his condition, the doctor let Paddy to rest.
A few minutes later a Catholic nun entered the room and asked if paddy were well enough to answer some questions for her. Paddy nodded affirmative.
The nun started right asking, "Do you have any medical insurance?"
Paddy shook his head and said no.
The nun continued, "Do you have any cash money to help pay for your medical bill?"
Paddy again said no.
The nun pried even more, "Do you have any family members to help you settle up your medical bill?
Paddy scratched his chin for a moment and said, 'Why yes, I do have a spinster older sister and she's a Catholic nun just like you."
The nun looked sternly at Paddy and said, "Sir, we are not spinsters, I like your sister, are married to Jesus.'
Paddy looks at the nun and says, "Good then, send me medical bill to me Brother-In-Law!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/09/2012
Now That Is How You River Dance In Ireland
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