4/09/2011

Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up

Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up
The age-old question for every Catholic school boy in the 1960's was; Do black patent leather shoes reflect upwards? Wait a minute, you don't know what that means?

You see, in the 1960's at Catholic grade school, it was pretty difficult to get a little female action as there were a few obstacles in our way. First, the girls had to wear ugly ass uniforms with the hem having to touch the knee making them feel non-sexy.

Second, they were Catholic grade school girls. (Only the good die young) They were indoctrined early to stay chaste.

Third, there were approximately 100 Catholic nuns (I say approximately 100 nuns for they never let on to their exact number perhaps to keep us off guard) patrolling the halls and class rooms just waiting for a boy to make eye contact with a girl for more than three seconds. (Three seconds was the standard time frame) A mere second longer, and the nuns would administer blunt force trauma.

However, all hope wasn't lost. The boys did have a well-known secret kept among ourselves. We knew the secret that black patent leather shoes really did reflect up. You see, it was our only hope of stealing a glimpse of girls underwear as they were waiting in line at the drinking fountain, or lining up to go out on the playground for recess, or even marching into church. Since most of the girls wore black shoes, and if the lighting was just right, we were treated to a magnificent view. (Way better than the National Geographics)

There were many a sunny days on the playground that a small crowd of boys gathered around several select girls unwittingly displaying her underwear. Thinking back, I believe that perhaps many of the girls knew of this phenomenon as well and out of the goodness of their hearts offered us cheap thrills to get us through religion class. Perhaps they wanted our lunch and mass money, or both. Welcome to Catholic grade school, 1965.

Thank Christ the Nuns wore flat black (Non shiny) shoes. I would have been scarred for life.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

13 comments:

  1. Keep that on the down low brother for the next generation.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahh, the good old days. Course nowadays, girls don't wear underwear, or wear thongs. Fuck the good old days.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Never would of thought of that one. Boy, were you desperate.

    Joyce
    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Speaking of, are there any more Catholic nuns out there or all they extinct?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry for the delay in your comment appearing. You left the same link twice in your comment and Wordpress reads that as spam.

    But yes, we were pre teens, locked in a Catholic grade school surrounded by nuns. We needed to hope for something....

    ReplyDelete
  6. See, I was in the minds of young boys at an early age. Impure thoughts equal the collapse of humankind. #Winning

    ReplyDelete
  7. If only we had Goddesses back then.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow Anti-christ aren't you bold? You can just admit it today and people accept it and think its funny and good.

    ReplyDelete
  9. George, have a pleasant evening. I'll be waiting as soon as you fall asleep. Then we'll talk. Pleasant dreams.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Careful, he's been a round for a long long year and stole many a mans soul and faith.

    ReplyDelete


  11. Max Jackl said
    April
    11, 2011 at 8:32 am
    Keep that on the down low brother for the next generation.

    Reply





    LOTGK saidApril
    13, 2011 at 9:42 pm
    Speaking of, are there any more Catholic nuns out there or all they
    extinct?
    Reply



    Gumby said
    April
    11, 2011 at 12:37 pm
    Ahh, the good old days. Course nowadays, girls don’t wear underwear, or wear
    thongs. Fuck the good old days.

    Reply





    LOTGK saidApril
    13, 2011 at 9:42 pm
    Amen brother.
    Reply



    Joyce
    Lansky said
    April
    13, 2011 at 7:37 pm
    Never would of thought of that one. Boy, were you desperate.

    Joycehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com

    Reply





    LOTGK saidApril
    13, 2011 at 10:10 pm
    Sorry for the delay in your comment appearing. You left the same link twice
    in your comment and WordPress reads that as spam.
    But yes, we were pre teens, locked in a Catholic grade school surrounded by
    nuns. We needed to hope for something….
    Reply



    Anti-christ said
    April
    20, 2011 at 9:19 am
    See, I was in the minds of young boys at an early age. Impure thoughts equal
    the collapse of humankind. #Winning

    Reply





    LOTGK saidApril
    21, 2011 at 11:45 pm
    If only we had Goddesses back then.
    Reply



    george saidJuly
    3, 2011 at 9:50 am
    Wow Anti-christ aren’t you bold? You can just admit it today and people
    accept it and think its funny and good.
    Reply




    Anti-christ said
    July
    6, 2011 at 11:12 pm
    George, have a pleasant evening. I’ll be waiting as soon as you fall asleep.
    Then we’ll talk. Pleasant dreams.

    Reply





    LOTGK saidJuly
    6, 2011 at 11:46 pm
    Owned!
    Reply



    LOTGK saidJuly
    6, 2011 at 11:27 pm
    Careful, he’s been a round for a long long year and stole many a mans soul
    and faith.

    ReplyDelete

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