Urban Legend My Ass

Thats A Lot Of Shoes

This morning in New York City during a routine patrol by the NYPD waterways commission, a giant alligator attacked a sightseeing ferry boat. The massive gator nearly capsized the boat as it suddenly breached and landed on the boat deck.

In other news, thousands of New Yorkers are now afraid to sit on their toliets in fear that the urban legend of alligators in their sewer drain are now real.

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Usually Bad Luck To Cross A Black Cats Path

Halloween Tip #3: The Black Cat Superstition:
Don't always believe the old Halloween urban legends and wives tales that black cats are bad luck. As superstition goes, black cats are bad luck if you see a stray one. It's even worse luck if a black cat crosses your path. People to this day alter their own course to avoid a black cat. Perhaps the worrisome feelings stem fro the black cat being linked to the occult and witchcraft.

The Dark Zone advises: If you happen upon the scene pictured above, dive right in.

Happy Halloween

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Dusting Off The Halloween Dark Zone 2012

Tidying Up For Halloween

Excuse the dust here at the Grassy Knoll Institute blog. The last several months activity here was almost at a stand still. Today, all that has changed. Our cleaning crew are on their hands and knee's working double time preparing for the Halloween season.

The Halloween Dark Zone has plenty of tricks and treats for you this October. We are chock full of some very sexy Halloween sirens, outlandish adult Halloween costumes, real ghost stories, wild video’s, scary demons, big ripe melons, haunted house tips, urban legends, and our own special blend of all things Halloween. Check back daily as we will be updating continuously throughout the month of October.

Halloween Tip #1: If Amanda Bynes offers to give you a lift to the next neighborhood to continue your trick or treating, make like Forest Gump.

Happy Halloween

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And Nothing Will Ever Be The Same

It's astounding, Time is fleeting, Madness takes its toll.
But listen closely... Not for very much longer.
I've got to keep control.

I remember doing the time-warp, Drinking those moments when,
The Blackness would hit me, And the void would be calling...
Let's do Halloween again.
Let's do Halloween again.

With a bit of a mind flip the 2011 Halloween season is upon us. Haunted houses are already on their second weekend, decorations dot residential houses, hay rides are at capacity, and the Halloween Dark Zone is dying to reveal the hottest adult Halloween costumes, plus home grown giant melons, urban legends, demons, ghosts, and all things Halloween.

Check the Dark Zone frequently as we will be updating continuously throughout the month of October.

And nothing will ever be the same.

Happy Halloween

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George Carlin Spoken Last Words

Comedian George Carlin, passed away June 22nd, 2008 of heart failure. He was taken to emergency after complaining about heart pains. He died a short time later at the hospital. Carlin had a history of heart attacks

For Carlin, no subject was off limits. Sex, drugs, politics, actors, actresses, human race, religion, the weather, and even death itself. Carlin had his own genius spin and view of the human race and all of it's glory and faults.

Urban legends are already racing across the Internet like a California wildfire on what George Carlin's last words were. Some of the rumors I believe to surface are:

Goodbye.

I'm coming Brenda. (His late wife)

Nixon assassinated Kennedy. (Everyone already knows that)

Tonight's forecast, Dark. Continued to stay dark all night. scattered light in the morning. (One of his bits)

Please god, don't let me die. (Carlin was dead set against religion and God. He did not believe in God, a supreme being, the devil, the afterlife. To him, once you die, thats it. No bright light, no vestal virgins, no heavens gate. Just emptiness) I believe this one will make the rounds claiming Carlin at the end, returned to his faith and pleaded for mercy.

But the Grassy Knoll Institute has a different opinion on Carlin's last words. A showman and comedian to the end, perhaps he uttered the one line that made him famous. From the seven dirty words you cannot say on television. (Shit, piss, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, cunt, and tits)

That would be George Carlin.

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And Jupiter Aligns With Mars

And Jupiter Aligns With Mars

The recent bizarre weather patterns, or lack there of have not gone unnoticed at the Grassy Knoll Institute. Since the onset of winter in December of 2002, the seasons seem to be blurring together. This winter in the states, the weather was much more severe than in many years past. It seemed to snow almost every day and the temperature was constantly below freezing. As spring began to blossom, the same strange pattern occurred. Precipitation.

Yes, it usually rains in spring, but the rainfall was far above the average and the temperature remained unseasonably cooler than normal. The same pattern as spring gave way to summer. It rained constantly. More precipitation than in years past and the temperature was at least 10 degrees cooler than normal.

Many cities and towns were deluged with what is referred to as “The hundred year rain cycle" flooding streets, rivers cresting, and destruction of property in the hundreds of millions of dollars. This not only happened once, but twice in less than three weeks time. Two ferocious storm patterns with the intensity of the hundred-year rain wreaked havoc causing F.E.M.A. to take action declaring many states disaster area’s after the second storm hit.

Heavy rainstorm systems are not the only peculiar events this season. These storm systems have produced more tornadoes and hurricanes so far this year than ever before recorded in history.

Earthquakes have also increased during the same time period with many dormant fault zones becoming alive again with tremors registering sizable movement and damage.

As strange as it sounds, volcano eruptions have increased in the same time frame and the famed Yellowstone National Park also showed a huge jump in seismic activity leading scientists to believe that this hot bed area will soon erupt and change the landscape of Yellowstone. The last large eruption in Yellowstone was approximately 60,000 years ago and it is due for another gigantic eruption.

The Grassy Knoll Institute has been analyzing all these strange patterns and has come to the realization that there is no conspiracy coverup involved even as some rumors abound about the Government conducting weather altering experiments actually being able to control the weather as they see fit. To this theory, the Grassy Knoll Institute simply says...BULL.

There is a much simpler yet deadlier explanation to the strange weather patterns. One simply needs to look into the night sky for the answer. Search for the moon in the sky. Now, look to the right of the moon. Do you see that bright red shining object? The object that wasn’t visible to the naked eye a mere month ago. That object is the planet Mars. The fourth planet from the sun, our celestial neighbor, and it has come to pay us a visit.

On the 27th of August in 2003, Mars was the closest to Earth than it ever has been in the past 60,000 years. The planet Mars for the next 10 years will become "Close" neighbors with Earth. Approximately every 60,000 years Mars orbit moves in a much nearer approach towards Earth and will continue to be visible in the night sky until late October 2013. Coincidentally, the last time Yellowstone Park had a gigantic eruption was 60,000 years ago. Coincidence, the Grassy Knoll Institute thinks not.

The Grassy Knoll Institute believes Mars is the cause for the strange weather patterns we are having all around the globe? Mars is changing our seasons as it comes closer to the Earth? Mars is cooling the oceans creating weather changes turning dry areas into wetlands?

Does Mars have this power? When we look at the moon and the power it has over our oceans causing high and low tides with it’s gravitational pull, one would tend to believe that a planet the size of Mars would also have an effect on our oceans that determine out weather conditions. Mars, like the moon, has tremendous gravitational pull and with the combined pull of both the moon and Mars on our tectonic plates near earthquake fault lines, certainly the increase of earthquakes and tremors throughout the world can be attributed to this.

Beginning on the 28th, August 2003, Mars slowly began to start to move away distancing itself back to its regular orbit of more than 30 million miles away. This move will take up to ten years. The speed in which Mars returns to its orbit will be gradual ensuring an early fall season and a harsh, wet and cold winter. This pattern will continue for 10 years.

Epilogue:

Perhaps 50 million years ago, the dinosaurs looked up and gazed upon a strange light in the sky. Perhaps Mars inched even closer to Earth that time. Perhaps close enough to change the entire globes climate, sending the Earth into an ice age sealing the fate of the dinosaur. The Grassy Knoll Institute will keep its eyes focused skyward.

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Jack The Ripper Case Solved

Grassy Knoll Institute Re-opens Old London's Jack The Ripper Case

When I think of London, England of the late 1880's it evokes a surreal picturesque life of people walking down wet cobblestone roads. Of romantic horse and carriage transports adorned with the warm ember glow of gas lanterns. Of thick, cool, damp fog enveloping the entire city rolling down every street and blind alley. Of prostitutes dressed in frilly colorful gowns walking the streets flirting with every man who would happen to fancy them.

And of course, I think of Jack The Ripper. The most gruesome and infamous serial killer London has ever known. A gruesome killer who would seek out the comfort and companionship of the ladies of the evening and then brutally murder them by meticulously carving the victims into pieces with surgical precision. In just several short months, Jack The Rippers reign of terror killing spree elicited more press in London than ever before. Scotland Yard was utilizing every available man and resource to solve this case before another murder occurred that would assuredly incite more panic from the townspeople of London.

Then one day, the murders stopped abruptly. No one was ever brought to justice. Every lead was a dead end. The town of London started to return to normalcy.
Scotland Yard closed the book on the Ripper and one the world's most talked about and read about conspiracies was born.

The Grassy Knoll Institute researchers has uncovered several startling files that may finally bring this 100 plus year investigation to a conclusion.
To begin, the Grassy Knoll Institute dismisses the theory that a member of the Royal family was actually the Ripper and the Queen squelched the media and to avoid a scandal, locked the family member in the tower of London never to be heard from again.

Another theory claimed that the Ripper was a constable and that enabled him to move around the city at will and blend into the night after the murders. The Grassy Knoll Institute dismisses this theory as well for the targets of the Ripper were prostitutes. One would think that if these ladies of the evening saw a constable coming toward them, they would quickly disperse and leave the area so as not to get arrested.

The Grassy Knoll Institute quickly dismisses the American doctor theory. At the time, there were no registered American doctors practicing in that district of London.

Yet another theory claims that the murders were committed by multiple men. Since the murders left a standard trademark cut, which gave to the name, "The Ripper," it could only be one person performing the heinous crimes.

And one theory had a man almost confessing to the crimes as he was hoisted up on the gallows pole. Just a split second before the floor was pulled from under him, he began to speak one last sentence. He spoke three words and no more as the rope tightened around his neck extinguishing the life from this man. The unfinished sentence he spoke was, "I am Jack".....

The Grassy Knoll Institute as usual takes a different approach in presenting our theory. We offer a different spin on the events that took place. We here at the Grassy Knoll Institute like to call this theory.....Jackie The Ripper.

In the year 1888, a little thing called ego was the cause of Scotland Yard not solving the serial killer case as this person stalked the streets carving up prostitutes and leaving them for dead. You see, the law enforcement didn't even dare to think that a woman was capable of committing such heinous crimes. The detectives concentrated all their energy towards several male leads and pretty much left all other eye witness accounts alone. If only one of the detectives could have paused just a moment to consider the alternatives the case might have been solved. Now, it will forever be a non solved murder case.

As the Grassy Knoll Institute was pouring over all the evidence on the ripper case, a single police report struck one of our reporters right on the nose. The report in question was from an eye witness where moments after the third murder, the witness, who was a prostitute, saw another lady of the evening scurrying away into the shadows and fog of the evening. The detectives dismissed this as just a prostitute running for safety. If this lead would have been investigated these facts would have been revealed.

A woman by the name of Carolyn Ethelburough was that woman fleeing the scene that night. Carolyn was the wife of a very prominent doctor named Edward Ethelburough. Carolyn was Edward's nurse and assisted him in many house calls as well as surgeries.

All seemed well for this couple until one evening Edward was late coming home and Carolyn, concerned that something happened to him, decided to look for her husband. Much to her surprise, she caught sight of her loving husband Edward in the arms of a prostitute. Carolyn was crushed as hatred and thoughts of betrayal crept into her mind. Not being able to tolerate the scene before her anymore, Carolyn left and slowly walked home.

As she was walking home, she heard the cobblestone road under her feet and she felt an overload of emotion flood her senses. She became calm, focused, and invigorated all at once as her subconscious began formulating a plan to extract revenge for her husbands infidelity.

For the next several months Carolyn secretly charted Edwards nocturnal movements. He would frequent the same haunts and the same prostitutes. She counted five prostitutes in all that entertained Edward regularly. The voice in her mind was telling her that Edward must pay for this despicable act of infidelity. Edward must pay for his sins.

Just as Carolyn was ready to formulate a plan for Edward to pay for his sins, Edward fell ill. It would be an illness he would not recover from. Edward was rewarded with the gift of syphilis contracted from one of the five prostitutes he frequented. Several months later, Edward was dead as he succumbed to the disease.

Upon her husbands death, Carolyn assumed all his possessions including his surgical instruments. For a time, she tried to lead a normal life but the visions of Edwards infidelity kept creeping into her mind until one day she decided to exercise the demons from her mind the only way she thought was possible. She must murder the prostitutes that killed Edward.
The next evening Carolyn pulled a frilly bright colored gaudy dress from her wardrobe and safely tucked a razor sharp scalpel under her petticoat and set out to the lower west end of London to search for her first victim. From her previous missions spying on her husband, she knew the lay of the land and honed in easily on one of the five prostitutes that contributed to the death of Edward.

As she approached the prostitute, she appeared to be just one of the new girls working the street trying to make ends meet. Carolyn struck up a conversation to put the woman at ease. Maybe she asked her advice on where and when the most action occurs. Maybe who to stay away from, and who paid well. As soon as Carolyn procured the prostitutes confidence, she implemented her plan.

Swiftly she stabbed the prostitute and slowly lowered her to the ground in the alley. She then performed her ritual of cutting out the demons from the prostitute in hopes of freeing the woman's and her husbands soul.

Satisfied that the demons were exercised from the prostitute, Carolyn quickly made her getaway. Since she was dressed as a street walker, she quickly blended into the scene and made her way home.

Over the next several months Carolyn would perform the same ritual four more times until all the woman that her Edward was with were dead. Since she was a woman and dressed like a prostitute, the other victims never became alarmed when she approached them. They knew there was a killer on the prowl, but they all thought the ripper was a man.

Finally, with her mission completed, Carolyn could rest in peace and several months later she quietly moved away from London. Court records tracked her movements for several more years and they indicated that she became a drifter moving from city to city. Her records stop at Londonderry, Ireland in 1912. The last entry in her residence registry revealed she had purchased a ticket on a massive luxury steamship bound for America. No one really knows if she ever boarded that White Star steam ship. If she did, it would be a befitting and Titanic ending to the mystery of Jackie The Ripper.

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Iceberg That Sank Titanic Located

Titanic Iceberg Located

Iceberg That Sank Luxury Liner Titanic In 1912 Found
While on a routine patrol in the atlantic ocean, the USS Grassy Knoll navy explorer located the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

The Navy ship was mapping icebergs as they made their slow migration into shipping lanes making them dangerous to older ships not equipped with modern sonar and technology. One of the Ensigns on watch spotted a rusty looking object jutting out from one of the icebergs. The ship moved in as close as it could and then Navy Seals were sent in recovery rafts to inspect and retrieve the metal object.

It was flown to Patterson Air Force base and Navy forensics experts determined it was a sheered off piece of the outer hull plating of the ill fated maiden voyage of the Titanic.

Ebay is asking for a cool one million dollars. Bidding ends at 4pm today......

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