Trinity Of Nuns

Catholic Nuns praying for President Trump.

On this holy day of Easter Sunday, Catholic nuns are still praying for President Trump to receive the correct guidance and intellect to run the country of the United States. And we are pretty sure he did not sleep with any of these three nuns.

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Microsoft Introduces Windows 10 TV

Microsoft Windows Unveils Windows TV 10

San Francisco, California, April 1st, 2016
Microsoft Annual Build Developer Conference:
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella revealed this morning Windows 10 TV. Nadella stated that Microsoft will now compete head to head against the likes of Applie TV, Google TV, Amazon Fire, and Ruko streaming services.

Above is a pre-release photo of the vision of Microsofts new age television viewing experience.

It appears that the TV will also be dial up ready....

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Urban Legend My Ass

Thats A Lot Of Shoes

This morning in New York City during a routine patrol by the NYPD waterways commission, a giant alligator attacked a sightseeing ferry boat. The massive gator nearly capsized the boat as it suddenly breached and landed on the boat deck.

In other news, thousands of New Yorkers are now afraid to sit on their toliets in fear that the urban legend of alligators in their sewer drain are now real.

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2016 Presidential Election Odyssey

Monolith Appears Atop Trump Tower

As dawn broke this cool April morning a Monolith was discovered atop the Las Vegas Trump tower. Perhaps the Monolith will do for our future what it has done for our prehistoric past. To bestow upon the presidential candidates at least a rudimentary level of intelligence and an ability to communicate sensibly.

CUE THE MUSIC.....

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Small Explosion At Korean Peninsula

Small Explosion Reported In North Korea

At 6:05am EST a small explosion was heard and felt in the Korean Peninsula..

South Korean warships are underway to investigate.

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Paris Hilton Is Pregnant

Paris Hilton Pregnant

Paris Hilton Is Pregnant

Breaking news: Paris Hilton, unable to hide the news anymore, announced today that she is pregnant and will be getting married after several details are cleared up.

That's hot...

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Secret And Sexy Life Of Candice

As I was perusing my favorite blogs yesterday, I saw that The Life According To Candice blog was given a very spiffy template makeover. Upon reading her ABOUT CANDICE profile, (Candice is a very entertaining and funny woman, a nurse from the great state of Texas, blond, stacked, and happily married with two children) I noticed that her profile picture looked very familiar. I thought nothing of it until today when I started uploading my pictures from the National Halloween show I attended last month.

And there she was. Candice in all her glory. The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered the secret life of Candice, mother and professional nurse by day, Super sexy Halloween trade show model by night. If you like the picture on the left, you will love Candice's shots from her tropical island vacation resort. The nude beach scenes are particularly titillating. Read her blog to understand her outlook and unique take on life. I double dog dare you not to smile.

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UFO Lands In Youngstown Ohio

As the Lead Scientist of the Grassy Knoll Institute was returning from a 3:00 am giant alien stakeout, he captured this shocking footage of an unidentified flying object, (UFO) quietly appearing out of the night sky slowly descending to street level and landing. The fully charged battery of the video camera drained after only 20 seconds of use and the video went dark. Seconds later, the UFO changed colors, began to spin rapidly, and ascended into the sky.

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Iconic Hollywood Sign Changed

In recognition of the Grassy Knoll Institute coming to California, the city of Hollywood has erected our LOGO right below the famous Hollywood Hills sign.

The entire staff here at the Grassy Knoll Institute extends our gratitude and a hearty thank you to all of you helping us celebrate our feast day, (April Fools Day) with your visits and comments on our blog.

Thanks for playing!

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Miss America Winner 2008

With all the scandal and bad press beauty pageants have received lately, the Miss America Beauty Pageant Association have invoked new guidelines and regulations that will be strictly enforced.

No longer will contestants be allowed to have breast augmentations, nose jobs, face lifts, tummy tucks, eye widening, ear lowering, leg shaping, ass shaping, and botex injections.

The committee feels that these young women should have natural appeal not enhanced with medical procedures.

We got a sneak peak of Gloria Swankton, who will be representing California in this years pageant.

Bert Parks just rolled over and puked in his grave.

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Sexy Body Paint Model

Is There A Doctor In The House!

No idea how this photo made into the April Fools Day Archives. Apparently Gumby isn't doing his goddam job.

Anyway, since the photo is posted, consider this a little tease preview of the 2008 National Halloween trade show Sexy Sirens in Las Vegas. Many photos to follow.

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Nun Fun

As Mother Superior read a chilling excerpt from the Book Of Revelations, Sister Wylene and Winona prepared to commit one of the new and improved Vatican sanctioned mortal sins of fun.

After the dousing, the sisters beat it out of there leaving the reverend mother soaking wet screaming obscenities.

I am sure one way or the other, the bitching nuns will find a way to blame me for what happened.

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Ghost Hunters Record Entity Proof

Ghost Hunters record empirical proof that supernatural entities exist.

Last Monday, March 24th, TAPS, (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) were invited to investigate an old brownstone home in New York. The house is at 278 West 113th Street in Harlem and was the house famous magician and escape artist Harry Houdini and his wife Bess purchased and lived in for many years.

The TAPS team of Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson set their camera's, thermal images devices, EVP's, EMP's, and digital recorders throughout the house. At 9pm, equipment was ready and it was lights out.

As the TAPS team swept through the house, every inch was recorded and detailed. With heightened anticipation, as that night was the birthday of Harry Houdini, the crew hoped to capture some evidence that Houdini's presence was still in the house.

Alas, no video was recorded, (No moving furniture, no strange bumps in the darks, no floating tambourine, no strange lights or orbs) but a small snippet of audio was recorded. As the TAPS crew usually do, they attempt to provoke the spirits to manifest themselves and show some sort of sign of their presence. It didn't appear to work that night.

Grant Wilson was in the drawing room of the home when he began to speak to Houdini asking him to show some sort of sign he was present but nothing registered on their instruments.

At 3am, the crew began packing up and went back to their office to analyze the data collected. After hours and hours of shadows and silence, Jason heard a startling sound recorded from the drawing room. It was a response that at first no one understood until further investigation into the history of Harry Houdini made the audio sounds become more clear.

The sounds heard were two words, "Rosabelle Believe!" At first, Jason and Grant felt that the words were merely random sounds that sometimes occur in paranormal investigations and dismissed as remnant paranormal activity.

Upon further review, Houdini was a staunch disbeliever in mediums and paranormal activity. In fact, the last several years of his life was spent debunking famous mediums as frauds and offered a $10,000 reward to anyone who could produce empirical proof that life after death existed. No one ever collected the prize.

However, before Houdini died, he and his wife Bess made a pact that if it were possible, he would make contact with her and for verification, (To avoid fraud from other mediums trying to cash in) a secret message that only Harry and Bess knew would be sent and verified that only Bess would understand.

Those two words were Rosabelle Believe!

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Lost Update - Damn Dirty Ape

Lost Update Season IV 03/27/2008

There has been a lot of speculation about the “Foot” seen on the Lost island. The foot was shown only once and only for a precious few seconds. The Grassy Knoll Institute has been asked to explain the foot and what we believe it’s significance is to the Lost series. Our simple short answer is… Everything.

The photo above is of the famous Lost Foot. Take a good look at it. Not just the base featuring the four toed foot wearing a sandal, but the entire statue. Notice that it is broken and only partially intact. (This is important) One wonders what the entire statue looked like before it crumbled. What was attached to the foot? What was surrounding the statue? Perhaps the next photo below will shed some light on what the foot represents.

For those of you who do not recognize the photo, it is from the final scene of the classic 1968 movie, Planet Of The Apes.
(Dramatic Pause!)

Yes folks, the foot is none other than that of the "Lawgiver," the Christ figure of Ape World in the movie. Notice that the foot is broken and the pedestal is crumbled. Now notice the broken Statue Of Liberty. Both the Lawgiver and Statue Of Liberty are cultural icons, easily recognizable, and placed in prominent places.

Still not convinced?! Need more proof? No problem. Take a look at the picture below of the Lawgiver, an actual prop used on the set of Planet Of The Apes. Notice the Lawgiver has four toes and wearing sandals just like the foot on Lost. Both the foot and Lawgiver are the same color and texture.

There's still more! I told you this was a special Lost Update.

The screenplay of Planet Of The Apes was written by none other than Sci-Fi guru Rod Serling, the creator of the Twilight Zone, (A Sci-Fi supernatural television show from the 1960's depicting ordinary people thrust into bizarre and unexplainable situations with plenty of twists of fates and moral consequences.)


From reading the Grassy Knoll Institute Lost Updates, we all know that the program is similar to the old sci-fi series Twilight Zone and that the characters are from Twilight Zone episodes. This link will act as a refresher course to the TZ links. Lost In The Twilight Zone

Lets delve a little deeper into the Planet of The Apes and Lost to compare the story outlines of each.

On Lost, we all know the story begins with a plane crash. Same as with Planet Of The Apes. The spaceship crashed in the water and Taylor and the rest of the survivors swam to shore.

On Lost, they crashed on a strange mysterious island and we were immediately introduced to an invisible monster and miraculous healing properties. Planet Of The Apes also crashed on a strange mysterious planet and introduced the audience to talking apes who were the dominant species on this distant planet.

We learn on Lost that time is somehow distorted and perhaps is taking place in the past or the future. On Planet of The Apes, we learn that 2500 years have passed for the marooned astronauts.

Ben and the others village on Lost are the counterparts to the apes and Ape City on Planet Of The Apes.

The final scene has not yet been aired for Lost, (We have two more years for that) but by looking at Planet of The Apes, we can hazard a guess.

The ending of Planet of the Apes showed Taylor riding off with Nova, the female human mate he had chosen along the shoreline to find his destiny. He is warned by Dr. Zaius, the leader of Ape City, that he wouldn't like what he finds ahead. (Ben also warned the castaways that leaving is bad)

A few minutes more of following the shoreline and Taylor comes to the shocking realization that he is not on a distant planet, but at home, planet Earth, and that the world has destroyed itself and now apes rule in their place.

An old broken and half buried Statue Of Liberty drives home that realization as Taylor cries on the shore, "You finally did it, Damn you all to hell!"

There you go Lost fans. The meaning of the Foot.

Until next week, GET LOST!

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Big Brother Is Watching

Do you suspect your spouse or significant other is cheating on you? When you call his/her cell phone and they don't pick up, do you wonder if they are hooking up with a midnight delight?

Fear not mortals, the Grassy Knoll Institute has found a solution for you. This Internet program through the use of GPS tracking, can pinpoint a cell phone signal within two feet.

Simply click on the below web link. Then type in your spouses cell phone number and it will pinpoint exactly where they are within two feet.

Is he at a late night board meeting or at O'Malleys tavern pounding a few....Beers.

Is she at the Tupperware neighborhood party or riding the pony at a seedy no tell motel?

With one click, you can find out. Go head, you know you want to find out.

GPS Cell phone Tracking

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Woman Displays Her Bust

Bust On Display At Pensacola Florida Art Symposium

In a bold and daring move for the art world to see her "Talents," Graphic Design Artist extraordinaire The Latest Slub, proudly displayed her bust for all of Florida to see at the prestigious annual Art symposium.

I have to say it was the hit of the symposium.

PS: It looks just like your Halloween costume.

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Nude Gymnast On Las Vegas BLVD

I was in Las Vegas last week for the Halloween Trade show hosted at the Sands Exposition convention. While on my way to work one morning, I snapped this photo of a naked gymnast doing her Olympic routine. I must admit, she was very good. she had a fabulous routine and stuck her dismount perfectly.

However, the French judge on the scene was not impressed and awarded her the bronze medal.

Goddamn French judges!!!

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Wordpress March 2008 Wrap-Up

Wordpress March 2008 Wrap up by none other than WP's own blog extraordinaire Keymaster Matt:

March came in like a lion and went out like a lamb. Winter is over and more than warmer weather is in store for Wordpress.

In the month of March on Wordpress:

25,245,329 blogs were created. (Thats up 85%)
2,432,478 new users joined. (Up 245% from last month)
11,920,593 file uploads. (A mind boggling statistic)
22,814,893 posts and 21,996,427 new pages. (And two cherry sno-cones)
544,961,330 comments. (With 50% of them stating, "Way cool blog dude.")
423,813,432 logins. (With 32% of them non-human log ins)
74,540,799,534 pageviews on WordPress.com, and another 1,304,499,648 on self-hosted blogs. (Thats a hell of a lot of taco's.)
1,726,789 active blogs in February, where “active” means they got a human visitor. (Trolls were counted as a half visitor slightly skewing results)

For more than two years now, Wordpress bloggers have been lighting up the WP forums pleading for more add-ons to be made available to them including scripts. Well, today is your lucky day WP'ers.

Wordpress has listened. Beginning tomorrow, WP will introduce several selected fully functional Chat Boards approved by the Keymasters of WP. A tagboard widgit will appear on your Tool Bar Manage page that you will need to customize and install.

But that's not all. WP management is excited to announce a new contest on the forums for the most wanted script widgit. The widgit with the most votes will be rewritten by WP tech heads and rolled out by the end of April for all to use.

WP management promises to roll out several more scripts and widgits by the end of 2008.

Until next months wrap-up.

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Zombama And Hellary In 2008

Introducing Every Republican's Nightmare!

To combat the popular Republican party nominee John McCain, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have put their differences aside and teamed together as a united Democratic presidential nomination for 2008.

Upon accepting the nomination, Barack thanked his spiritual leader for the guidance, wisdom and contributions to his campaign as he moved forward in his determination to fix the problems of the country.

Hillary only had this to say about the nomination. There will be hell to pay. That's right, I'm a bitch, deal with it.

Brought to you by Morbid Industries, leading Halloween props and costumes company.

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Colonel Sanders Alive And Well

This just in!

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken founder and icon of the fast food restaurant, dead for over 20 years, was photographed today shaking George Clooney's hand during a red carpet Hollywood event.

Apparently Sanders faked his death and has been living large in the great state of Montana with Jim Morrison, Elvis, and D.B. Cooper.

Rumor was that Elvis paid a kings ransom to fake Sanders death because he couldn't live without the secret recipe fried chicken dinners.

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