Showing posts with label ufo's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ufo's. Show all posts

1/05/2011

Arkansas Fish And Bird Mystery Solved

Over the past several weeks, interesting reports have been coming in from several small communities in Arkansas as thousands of birds dropped dead from the sky in mass while over one hundred thousand dead fish washed ashore with little explanation.

News reports claim perhaps fireworks celebrations or high altitude lightning were the cause, but that doesn't explain the dead fish nor the second event of birds dying.

The Grassy Knoll Institute did some digging around in the towns of Beebe and Ozark Arkansas, where these mass deaths have occurred and found townsfolk are talking more about the bright and wonderful light show in the sky that has been going on for over a month. Eye witnesses report that almost every night around 11PM orange and white orbs appear in the sky and seem to float effortlessly across the horizon. Some people described them as almost being biological in nature, as if they were alive, and not mechanical.

The Grassy Knoll Institute operatives were intrigued and decided to set up camp in a quiet clearing outside the town of Ozark with a unobsctructed view of the night sky. At precisely 11:01PM our camera's started rolling and recorded the following 45 seconds of film showing orange orbs slowly rising from the lake and gracefully rising into the night sky.


What we captured is unknown at this time, as the footage was flown to our secret lab for analysis. Until a complete analysis is completed, we can only speculate what we witnessed and will let you be the judge. The film is below.




We believe that the birds were attracted to the soothing glowing orbs and flew into them meeting their fate. As the birds flew into the swarm of lights, they became confused and scattered flying erratic and knocking into themselves falling to their death. Also observed was a pulsing electromagnetic energy emanating from the center of the orbs that perhaps when the birds came in contact with them killed them instantly. 

 Concerning the fish, perhaps while the orbs were in the lake water, the fish in the surrounding area were electrocuted by the pulse forcing them to wash up on shore. Why is the government keeping this part of the story out of the news? Is the government attempting to cover up the obvious UFO connection to the deaths of these birds and fish? The grassy Knoll Institute will answer these questions as soon as the film footage is fully analyzed.

LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL 

5/20/2008

Jack Black And The Thought Screen Helmet

Evidently actor Jack Black is being controlled by an evil race of aliens.

Grassy Knoll Institute scientists believe that Mr. Black, even though he wears his thought screen helmet, has constructed a flawed helmet allowing aliens to access Mr. Black's mind forcing him to make bad career choices.

This goes a long way in explaining the movie choices of
Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny and Nacho Libre.

Make sure you go his new movie, Kung Fu Panda, in theater's now.



LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/27/2007

UFO Crashes In Youngstown Parking Deck

UFO Crashes In Mall Parking Lot Boardman Ohio
UFO Crashes In Mall Parking Lot Boardman Ohio
A large explosion was heard as dawn broke in the township of Boardman, Ohio, (A suburb of Youngstown) and an immense fireball was seen in the parking lot of the Southern Park Mall on Market Street and Route 224. The above photo was taken from a Grassy Knoll Institute operative while hovering in helicopter Grassy Knoll One.

The Institute has already learned a great deal from the crash site comparing the alien craft to another than it filmed just months ago hovering in the sky. Notice the similarities between the two photos. UFO In Flight. Notice the elongated apparatus extending from the center of both ships. (We believe it to be the weapons array)

The wreckage has been gathered, crated, and transported to the secret laboratory of the Institute where it hopes to shed some much needed light on the UFO mystery that has plagued our society for decades. Some local speculation referred to the 1947 Roswell UFO conspiracy and how both scenario's are very similar.

On a side note, our investigators noticed that there were a few security light posts missing from their normal positions. We do not know as of yet if there is any connection to the UFO crash or not.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/25/2007

UFO Cause Of Bizarre Climate Control

UFO In California Sky
UFO In California Sky
The United States Northeast is enjoying unseasonable warm temperatures this winter. Instead of snow, a continuous rain is falling causing flash flood warnings for streams and rivers all the while the mercury hovers in the low 50's.
On the West coast, the area is experiencing much colder weather than usual as blizzards are dumping hundreds of feet of snow with even Southern California recording snow fall and accumulation. It was announced today on CNN news that 95% of the citrus crop of the United States has been ruined due to freezing. (Expect to see higher prices beginning next week in your local grocery store)
Meteorologists have been unable to determine a cause for such weather variations as some scientists are looking to El Nino as the cause but the Grassy knoll Institute knows better.

One of the Institutes leading scientists, Jimmy, snapped this photograph of an Unidentified Flying Object hovering just above the mountains in San Bernardino, California.

The Grassy Knoll Institute has obtained information through underground channels that UFO's have been sighted over Southern California and with the approval of the Federal government, are conducting experiments to alter the Earth's weather patterns. All test results and data gathered will be shared with the government.

If weather patterns can be controlled and altered, imagine the lives saved during hurricanes, tornado's, and flash flooding. Or to assist arid desert climates to allow rain to help crops grow to help feed the world. With this new technology Hurricane Katrina could have been prevented saving thousands of lives and billions of dollars. A brave new world indeed.

However, there is always a flip side with the Grassy Knoll Institute. Weather patterns could also be altered and used as a weapon to destroy entire nations food supplies, cause horrific weather to destroy economies of foreign nations. To control the weather is to control the world's trade economy. It is the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. Enemies of the states would be wise to begin building arks in advance. I see a weather change coming to their town!!!




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/22/2007

President Kennedy Was Assassinated By Aliens

There are hundreds if not thousands of conspiracy theories related to and concerning our 35th president of the United States, John Fitzgerald Kennedy and that fateful day in Dallas in 1963. Many surmise that Fidel Castro and Cuba assassinated him to even the score with the Bay Of Pigs catastrophe. Some think the Russians because of the spotlight Kennedy shined on the Soviet Union during the Missile crisis. Others claim the Mafia put a hit on the president to even the score against brother Bobby. The list goes on and on with every conceivable theory except one. And that my dear reader (s) will be the one discussed today.
In 1963, President John Kennedy was ready to expose too the world a secret that the government guarded since 1947 that an alien craft really did crash land in Roswell, New Mexico and the military harvested and reversed engineered the alien technology recovered to leap frog the world as a super power.
The surviving alien life forms also assisted in the understanding of how the technology worked and how it could be applied to weaponry, agriculture, and medicine. It is not a coincidence that jet propulsion improvements accelerated right after 1947 not to mention space flight.
The United States military in the 10 years after World War II was advancing by leaps and bounds. Computer technology, and not the cathode ray tube technology, but semiconductor technology exploded leading credence that the military had alien support.
John Kennedy wanted to distance himself from the disastrous Bay of Pigs debacle and needed a media blitz that would capture the worlds interest and imagination. The Roswell crash revelation would have been such a story.
But a problem arose. The alien race was not yet convinced that humans were ready to accept that they were not alone and the center of the universe. There were two huge factors to consider.
One: The balance of power had already shifted toward the United States and China and the Soviet Union would demand to be awarded the same technological advances enjoyed by the States for 16 years.
Two: Religious ramifications. All religions on the planet earth would now have to accept and re-examine their doctrine of faith. Millions of people would certainly have a hard time coping with the shakeup of their faith and that everything they were taught in school, church, and family, was a lie.
The Roswell aliens felt humanity wasn’t ready to deal with these worldly issues and devised a cover up scenario to keep everything Quid pro quo.
On that fateful day November 22nd, 1963, Kennedy was assassinated and silenced forever. Lee Harvey Oswald was set up as a patsy by using their incredible telepathic mind control to influence Oswald to shoot Kennedy from the 6th floor school book depository.
By manipulating the investigating officers and government officials assigned to the Kennedy assassination, created a media circus captivating the nation and the world for years. The nations interest shifted from the flying saucer sightings cropping up all over the nation to the Warren commission, the Kennedy assassination, and the conspiracy associated with it. Forty four years, the nation is still abuzz with the Kennedy conspiracy
The United States continue to reap the benefits of alien contact, (The only country to land on the moon, the space shuttle, and the stealth jet to name just a few) and as soon as the Roswell aliens deem humanity ready to accept the truth, we will certainly be waking up in a brave new world.




LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

26 Responses to “Kennedy Assassinated By Aliens”


  1. Revinjim said

    This works just as well as any other theory!

  2. Ethan said

    you are a fn idiot. give some fn proof about your alien claims. you should just kill youself. cia operatives killed kennedy b/c of the bay of pigs incident. you stupid motherfucker.

  3. LOTGK said

    Ethan, apparently you have missed the tagline of this web site. The home of the 99 cent conspiracy theory. We keep overhead and expenses low to provide more affordable and better tasting conspiracy theories for our readers.
    Hurry, supplies are limited. And quit calling me Shirley.
    It ‘s a humorous site you twit. But you made me laugh.
    Thanks for playing.

  4. Old Way said

    I thought aliens killed JFK because of his challenge to put a man on the moon. The many failures of launch vehicles and the Apollo 11 fire, plus the assasination, would discourage our attempts to journey into space.
    Aliens had many observatories and labs, including large mining facilities on the moon who’s camoflauge could not withstand the close scrutiny of a lunar excursion by humans.
    When after all these failures did not quale our resolve, the aliens had to move their facillities to the deep ocean, a less desireable location.
    The aliens were also upset at Kennedy because of what they felt was a breach of an agreement they had with Eisnhower, which he agreed that the aliens could take a few citizens for testing and examinations. The aliens concept of a few did not hold well with JFK. A “few”, to the aliens was nearly 30% of our population. Their understanding of the term was from there limited observations in which when someone was offered a “few”, say there is a plate of ten cookies, and someone says, ” have a few”, and the person takes three cookies, the aliens interperate a “few” as 30% and since they agreed to it they must use 30% of the worlds population as test subjects!

  5. LOTGK said

    That would explain the Republican party.

  6. The Truth said

    That would explain the liberal, left-wing mentality of the democrats. I also koew that something was off with their ideology and perspective.

  7. LEE LARSON said

    YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, BLAME THE ALIENS. RACISM! RACISM! RACISM! EVERY TIME THE COUNTRY HAS A PROBLEM, BLAME THE LITTLE GREEN MEN WHO WEREN’T THERE. *THOSE OF US ON THE INSIDE TRACK ALL KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT JFK WAS SNUFFED ON ORDERS FROM THE ‘FRATERNAL ORDER OF INTELLECTUAL ESKIMOS’: F.O.O.I.E.

  8. LOTGK said

    Who said the aliens were green? I’m thinking more on the lines of a Grayish tint.

  9. LOTGK said

    Who said the aliens were green? I’m thinking more on the lines of a Grayish tint.

  10. Bitzky said

    No no, they are covered in white fuzz and to an untrained eye they resemble small hippos walking on their hind legs. LOTGK knows what I’m talking about *nods*

  11. LOTGK said

    Nods back with understanding to Mister Moomin.

  12. Jp said

    wt if jfk was an alien? is nasa just a scheme set up to provide e.t craft with docking points?

  13. Cole Maston said

    I think that JFK was killed by Chuck Norris when he was a Texas Ranger. The reason being is that there was and episode where JFK called Chuck a baby back b*tch. Therefore i think that it was Chuck Norris and i AM right.
    Cole-Bug

  14. Snowflake said

    Ogg bgah fellow aliens they have discovered us. We must return to the mother ship. Ogg ogga Now
  15. People, people, people. My Blog tells it all. Check it out for yourself and find the truth that has been eating into your mind like a splinter, each and every night that you sit in front of your computer screen searching for the truth. With my site and Grassy Knoll you will finally learn the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Kennedy was killed by a human, but one living on the moon in a secret CIA base. Check out my site for all the facts
  16. [...] have gotten credit for a lot of human history. They’ve been said to have built the pyramids, killed Kennedy, and even created modern man through genetic manipulation. Not to be left out of the fun, [...]

  17. Anonymous said

    Republicans are aliens.

  18. Tele Tubbie said

    back and to the left… back and to the left…

11/19/2007

Thought Screen Helmet Test Pattern

Evil Telepathic Aliens Control Your Mind
PLEASE STAND BY
An important alien transmission from outer space follows.This is a message from the outer nebula where the thought screen helmet aliens reside.

We are not the monsters some portray us to be. We do not wish to control and enslave humanity into a life of servitude. We did not leave you a "Cook book," nor do we have an eight foot tall metallic robot that shoots lasers from its visor. We are only concerned with your well being the direction the human race is headed.

We contacted you through the use of the Grassy Knoll Institute web site to inform and educate the population that a small sect of humans are attempting to control the world under the guise of the "Thought Screen Helmet." This sect declares that we, an alien race, are stealing humans thoughts to control the brain and force these people into mindless automatons. That statement cannot be further from the truth.

These so called Helmeteers are slowly gathering followers by brain washing them with the thought screen helmet, the very weapon said to protect them from alien abduction. Once the helmet has been worn for 72 hours and beyond, the wearer loses self control and becomes pliable to the evil helmeteers. At that point, they can manipulate the unsuspecting helmet wearers to do their bidding.

We ask that you embrace us as a loving benevolent race of beings that only want what's good for humanity. We have come in peace. It is up to you, readers of the Grassy Knoll institute, whether we leave in peace.

END TRANSMISSION



LURKING, THINKING CLEARLY, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

11/15/2007

Nasa Finds Intelligent Life On Mars

Photograph NASA Didn't Want Us To See
Photograph NASA Didn't Want Us To See
The Photograph NASA Didn't Want You To See

The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered a conspiracy involving NASA and the United states government. When the original famed "Mars Face" photo was first transmitted to earth it sparked many debates on whether life on Mars existed. Soon afterward, NASA experts, (The same experts that calibrated the Mars lander in feet instead of meters) claimed the photo was merely an illusion and bended light on a bland rock formation. Certainly not a monument much like our Mount Rushmore.

The controversy slowly died down and was left to speculation by conspiracy theorists until several years ago when new superior photos were taken by the Mars lander in 1998. The new photo showed the famous face from another angle revealing what NASA has said long ago, that it was merely a rock formation and not a face.

Once again, a media buzz surrounded the Mars Face as it was reported that the photo was processed through not one, but seven filters that could have changed the contrast, clarity, and appearance of the photo. The above photo is the only Mars Face photo in existence transmitted without any filters. When viewing the photo, you can clearly make out other shapes in the frame. Numbers or letters are visible surrounding the face. So far, the Grassy Knoll Institute has decoded five letters.
The letters are L.O.T.G.K. With this startling evidence, it is clear that intelligent life does exist in space, and on Mars.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL

10/17/2007

Noahs Ark And The C.I.A.

Noah's Ark Secret Resting Place Revealed
Noah's Ark Secret Resting Place Revealed
The C.I.A. Is Interested In The Final Resting Place Of Noah’s Ark?

There is a mountain covered with snow in Eastern Turkey. The mountain is fifty one hundred meters above sea level, which is actually not the highest mountain range when compared to Tibet’s mountains that are eight thousand meters high. However, it has been the most famous mountain of the planet for the past several thousand years. The mountain is Ararat. The final resting place of the fabled Noah's Ark.

It has been rumored that beginning in the 1940s, the CIA has been keenly interested in Mount Ararat and have been collecting evidence and data on an object hidden in an ice grave on Ararat’s slope. Researchers of Noah’s Ark said that the CIA archives contained numerous classified photo and filmed documents. Some mysterious sources reported that “a secret expedition was organized to Turkey” by the US Government. There is no doubt that if the CIA actually did happen to discover remains of the ancient huge vessel, it would certainly be the most important scientific and archeological discovery of the century. However, it is not clear yet why the remains of Noah's Ark could interest the C.I.A. so much.

The Grassy Knoll Institute has uncovered startling evidence that the Ark is in fact an ancient Unidentified Flying Object. At this discovery, the C.I.A. initiated an immediate cover-up to protect the alien technology found still intact on the Ark. The Ark, during the cover of darkness, was airlifted by helicopter from the mountain and flown to the infamous Area 51 in Nevada where it still sits in pieces as every inch has been inspected to unlock the secrets of it's technology.

Extensive tests were conducted on the Ark and some very peculiar oddities on the shape and design of the Ark were discovered. As recorded in the bible, the Ark was an immense vessel measuring close to the size of a current Navy Aircraft Carrier but much wider. Almost three times wider. The bible also said the Ark was constructed of wood and that it had multiple levels to house the animals in an organized manner.

This has been confirmed as the wood on the Ark was in heavy decay when first brought in to the military hanger. But the bible left something out. They left out the part that the Ark also had an inner hull and shell made of an unknown metal that has no weld seams or blemishes, even to this day. This would make the Ark quite buoyant enabling it to withstand the roughest of sea's including tidal waves and hurricanes. The vessel also has multiple levels with built in cages with an elaborate drain and air filtering design.

Also found in the Ark is a device believed to be some sort of replicating device that would recycle waste and raw materials and convert it into fresh water and animal food. This device would enable the crew to stock the vessel with supplies and not worry about depleting their resources. If this device can be fully understood, it would give new meaning to the recycling programs in this country. Not to mention water purification centers.

Religious implications that will change the teachings of the bible have also been found inside the Ark. A captains journal, Noah's journal, has been found inside the living quarters of the Ark. The journal describes the bible story of the great flood. It begins much like the bible's version with Noah being told by God about a great flood and that the people and animals of the Earth would perish. It was written that the flood would be so great and immense that it would cover the world for 40 days. So far so good.

The next part is where the bible and Noah's journal part ways. Noah explains in detail that the visitors from the sky had come to help Noah and his family survive. The visitors told Noah of a great fire that was heading toward the earth and when it landed, it would cause a tidal wave that would cover and destroy the world. They would help build him a great Ark so Noah and his family could survive.

Noah was instructed to collect as many farm animals as he could so that they could repopulate the world when the waters subsided. Noah made sure that he had plenty of male and females of each species. Noah worked hand in hand with the visitors for many days until finally the Ark was completed. The visitors then told Noah and his family to enter the Ark and seal it and not to open it until the Visitors came back.

The visitors told Noah that after the flood waters receded, the earth would not look like it did. The fire from the sky along with the waters on the earth would change the landscape forever. Noah and his family would not recognize the world as they knew it. But the visitors would help them in the quest to build a new beginning.

Pretty nice and tidy little ending isn't it? Not to the Grassy Knoll Institute it isn't! Continuing in Noah's journal, he spoke of another sun that appeared in the sky and was getting larger every day. This other sun was actually an asteroid on a collision course with earth.

The aliens, or visitors, knew that the asteroid was to large and that it would destroy the earth and all the living things on it. Having pity on the humans, they decided to help a select few survive. They decided to take Noah and his family with them since their planet would be laid to waste after the asteroid impact. Safe and sound in their sealed up Ark, the alien spacecraft lifted the Ark from the ground and placed it into the cargo hold where they would spend their journey tending the flocks of animals and preparing for a new day and a new world.

The aliens flew at light speed and traveled for over a months time, approximately 40 days and arrived in a very quiet solar system where the third planet from the sun could sustain the life of their passengers. The aliens inspected and surveyed the world and deemed it fit and safe so they informed Noah that the waters were receding and in a day or two, they would be able to spot land.

The aliens then placed the Ark in the sea several miles from shore and told Noah to blow the hatch and to wait for the waters to recede and then embark on his new journey. The sea tides slowly drifted the Ark to shore and Noah's family walked again on dry land. The first humans on the new planet. Planet Earth. Noah thanked the visitors and a new religion began which has continued to this day.


LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL