Talented Irish Bartender On St. Patricks Day

Sexy Irish Barmaid

Shannon is our Irish barmaid for this evening. Shannon is a highly skilled  bartender able to mix any drink or concoction your heart desires and her presentation is a crowd pleaser.

The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight. (They will after 2am anyway)
Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.

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Irish Flu Shots

Irish Flu Shots

Here in the United States, we Americans have what they call Obama-Care health insurance. For those that have to endure this pitiful insurance, it sucks. My sympathies to all enrolled.

On the other side of the pond, Ireland handles healthcare with a more hands on approach. One example is the flu shot. We wait in a long line, get uncerimoniously jabbed in the arm while listening to nurse Ratchet yelling out "Next" while the needle is still in your arm.

In Ireland, the flu shot is available at your local Pub for a small fee of $1.49 with a chaser of Guinness.

Luck of the Irish indeed.

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An Irish Fist Fight

Paddy O'Brien walks into a his favorite pub looking like he'd just been in a mighty brawl.
Paddys arm is in a sling. His nose is broken.
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
The bartender Shamus pours Paddy a Guinness and asks Paddy, "What the devil happened to you?"
Paddy exclaims, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."
Shamus is stunned telling Paddy, "That wee little of a man, O'Conner!" "He could not have done that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
Paddy looked up from his Guinness and says, "That he did." A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."
The bartender asked, "Well," did you not defended yourself then? Did you not have something in your hand?"
Paddy sais, "That I did Shamus. That I did!" I had Mrs. O'Conner's breast in me hand, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

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Irish True Story

Scene From An Irish Cafe

A busty Irish lass who has had one to many Guinness orders a hamburger and french fry lunch platter. Seeing only the hamburger on her plate the woman signals the waitress to come over. When the waitress arrives, the woman asks where her fries are.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

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How To Properly Drink A Guinness Beer

How To properly Drink Guinness

Inside the Irish Pub you patiently wait as the bartender expertly pours your Guinness beer and presents it to you. The Guinness stands in all it's glory in front of you. What you do next is critical and if you are a tourist, all eyes in the pub are now upon you anticipating what you do next. This is a very important time in your life inside an Irish pub.

Do not, I repeat, do not grab the glass and sip the Guinness. If you do, you will hear moans from the well respected Irish folk drinking in the pub with you.

1) Instead, take a moment or two and inspect and appreciate the beauty of the Guinness beer in front of you with your eyes. Bask in the splendor of the gift from Heaven waiting for you.

2) After the respectful moment or two of waiting, rise to your feet from your chair or stool. Grip the glass with authority and keep your elbows up and the Guinness at eye level.

3) Tilt the glass to your mouth and embrace the nectar of the Gods taking a full gulp. Do not sip Guinness. Do not let the patrons see you sip lest you want to hear another round of moans directed towards you.

4) Gently place the glass down and prepare for your next taste. Make sure to drink from the same side of the glass so like you can count the rings on a tree trunk, you can count how many gulps it took to drink your pink of Guinness.

5) Repeat steps 3 and 4 until your glass is empty.

6) When finished, keep in mind, you are in Ireland, not in the states, and the bartender is not expecting a tip. However, if this was your first Guinness beer in an Irish Pub, or if your bartender performed above and beyond his normal excellent service, a tip of 10-15 percent would be acceptable. More importantly, thank the bartender and acknowledge the patrons inside the bar as you may not know it, but each and everyone of them were guiding you along in your journey to the perfect pint.

A proper toast to all in the pub could be....

My friends are the best friends.
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking!
All glasses off the table!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

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How To Properly Pour Guinness Beer

For the 2012 St. Patrick's Day Holiday season, the Grassy Knoll Institute kicks off the celebration with an upmost important skill on how to properly pour a Guinness Beer.

But before we get to that, a reminder if you will, to check back regularly in March to see the latest Irish updates on folklore and especially the sexiest women Ireland has to offer.

Now just make sure when the bartender presents the properly poured Guinness beer to you, you follow proper procedures on drinking the beer.

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The 2011 Irish Update

Saint Patricks Day Guinness Challenge

The Grassy Knoll Institute kicks off the St. Patrick's Day holiday with an Irish tradition. Guinness beer drinking. Not only will there be plenty O Guinness to go around, but we have some very sexy surprises in store this year. Be sure to check back soon to get the latest Irish update and get a glimpse of the hottest girls Ireland has to offer.

 

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A Tall Texan In Ireland

A Texan on vacation walks into a pub in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinking fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back." The room goes quiet and no one takes of the Texans offer.

Old Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks Paddy. The Texan answers, "Yes," and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately, Paddy goes into action and downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back. The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, "If ya don't mind me asking, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

Old Paddy Murphy replies, "Aye, I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Guinness Brewery Gets New CEO

The Guinness Beer company, Ireland's famous brewing facility, named a new tough as nails C.E.O. to steer the company out of it's economic down turn. The New CEO, Robert Flanagan, was determined to tighten the belt of the corporation and rid the company of all the slackers not pulling their weight.

On his first day on the job touring the facility, he noticed a lad leaning lazily on the wall. He looked around and saw the room was full of employees and he thought to himself that this was a perfect opportunity to show everyone that he meant business.

The CEO walked up to the lad leaning on the wall and sternly asked, "And how much money do you make in a weeks time sir?" The young lad looked up nonchalantly and replied, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO reached into his pocket and took out a wad of money and counted out $200.00 so everyone could see. He then turned to the lad and screamed, "Here's a weeks pay then, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about firing his first employee for slacking on the job, he looked around the room and asked, "Can anyone tell me what that slacker did here?"

Out from the back of the room, one of the young workers muttered. "He's the pizza delivery guy!"


Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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Worlds Largest Guinness Beer

Worlds Largest Guinness Beer

Giant aliens, in their attempt to take over the world, has taken a step back and paused on this great Irish holiday apparently to consume mass quantities of Guinness Beer. This lucky lad got a full glass of Guinness as a souvenir.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Grassy Knoll Institute

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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