A sure fire way to know you were brought up by Irish parents:
Listen closely. At the start of any crisis, no matter what the crisis level, big or small, the first thing your Mom or Dad will utter is, "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," while making the sign of the cross.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Showing posts with label irish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label irish. Show all posts
3/09/2016
3/17/2014
Talented Irish Bartender On St. Patricks Day
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| Sexy Irish Barmaid |
The Grassy Knoll Institute wishes everyone a safe and fun filled St. Patrick's Day and hopes all your barmaids look like Shannon tonight. (They will after 2am anyway)
Please use your designated driver when returning home or travelling from pub to pub.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
How The Irish Play Golf
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| How The Irish Play Golf |
Most people playing golf enjoy the relaxation of the sport, being one with nature, walking on a vast sprawling landscape of neatly manicured grass. To compete with not only your opponent, but yourself. Hitting that perfect drive. Sinking that long putt,
How very Zen like....
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| Forty Four D... |
No mulligans for you.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Best End Of The Rainbow Ever
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| Best End Of The Rainbow Ever |
Ever....
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/15/2014
Irish Flu Shots
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| Irish Flu Shots |
On the other side of the pond, Ireland handles healthcare with a more hands on approach. One example is the flu shot. We wait in a long line, get uncerimoniously jabbed in the arm while listening to nurse Ratchet yelling out "Next" while the needle is still in your arm.
In Ireland, the flu shot is available at your local Pub for a small fee of $1.49 with a chaser of Guinness.
Luck of the Irish indeed.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/11/2014
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
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| When Irish Eyes Are Smiling |
In the lilt of Irish laughter, you can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy, all the world seems bright and gay,
And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling, sure, they steal your heart away.
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling was penned by Chauncey Olcott and George Graff, Jr. and the Music was composed by Ernest Ball in 1912. The same year the Titanic maid its fatefull maiden voyage.
Although the song was written and composed by American citizens, (All three men were born in the United States) this song was a tribute to Ireland and its people.
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling is one of the most popular songs ever written today. It has been heard in many Irish movies and is the anthem for St. patricks Day coming up March 17th.
My advice, come march 17th, wow your friends and learn more than one verse of the song.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/07/2014
An Irish Fist Fight
Paddy O'Brien walks into a his favorite pub looking like he'd just been in a mighty brawl.
Paddys arm is in a sling. His nose is broken.
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
The bartender Shamus pours Paddy a Guinness and asks Paddy, "What the devil happened to you?"
Paddy exclaims, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."
Shamus is stunned telling Paddy, "That wee little of a man, O'Conner!" "He could not have done that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
Paddy looked up from his Guinness and says, "That he did." A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."
The bartender asked, "Well," did you not defended yourself then? Did you not have something in your hand?"
Paddy sais, "That I did Shamus. That I did!" I had Mrs. O'Conner's breast in me hand, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Paddys arm is in a sling. His nose is broken.
His face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
The bartender Shamus pours Paddy a Guinness and asks Paddy, "What the devil happened to you?"
Paddy exclaims, "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight."
Shamus is stunned telling Paddy, "That wee little of a man, O'Conner!" "He could not have done that to you. He must have had something in his hand."
Paddy looked up from his Guinness and says, "That he did." A shovel is what he had, and a terrible beating he gave me with it."
The bartender asked, "Well," did you not defended yourself then? Did you not have something in your hand?"
Paddy sais, "That I did Shamus. That I did!" I had Mrs. O'Conner's breast in me hand, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/06/2014
Zombie Fortress In Ireland
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| Irelands Zombie Fortress |
When the Zombie apocalypse occurs, (And it certainly will) this particular real estate is the perfect Zombie fortress. The sea-stack once supported life as an expedition found remnants of a hut, tools, and walls. Some simple supplies to stock the stack beforehand will allow your team to live Zombie free for a long time. When supplies do run out, using pulley ropes to lower yourself down to sea level, you can return to the mainland to reload supplies.
Even if your fortress is found out by zombies or humans, the sea-stack is easily defended. Zombies cannot climb and any people wanting to loot your possessions will find it impossible to gain access.
I'm forulating my survival supply list now.
1- Guinness beer.
2- Soda bread.
3- Irish stew.
4- Irish whiskey.
5- More Guinness beer.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/05/2014
How To Properly Wear Your Irish Green Bikini
With St. Patricks day just a few days away, many women are writing in to the Grassy Knoll Institute for advice on how to properly wear an Irish green bikini. We kindly obliged.
The video above featuring Caitlin O'Connor wearing a Beach Bunny bikini is all the advice and help you will need.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/03/2014
Sexy Irish Green Bikini Contest 2014
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As rock legend singer Rod Stewart penned,
"I sure do want you to know that you wear it well,
There ain't a lady in the land so fine."
Your mission today, in the cold early month of March is to vote for the supermodel above who wears their sexy Irish green bikini the best. The contest is simple. Gaze upon the six beautiful women above and click on your favorite. Each photo you click on will count as one vote and each comment you leave will count as two votes. The winner will be revealed March 17th, St. Patricks Day.
Write ins are permitted. Simply name the sexy model and add the link of her wearing her sexy green bikini in the comments section.
If you do not know the six supermodels above they are in order:
#1- Adrianna Lima, #2 - Alessandro Ambrosia, #3 - Bar Refaeli,
#4 - Candice Swanepol, #5 - Kate Upton, #6 - Miranda Kerr
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/02/2014
Irish Leprechaun Legend
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| Legend Of The Leprechaun |
You see, Leprechauns are Imps and they do not wish to be bothered by folks poking around their business. A failed attempt to remove the pot of gold from a Leprechaun could cause harmful results. You see, once the leprechaun is out of your sight just for a split second, the power you have over him is revoked. At that time, the leprechaun may reciprocate and trick you into doing harm to yourself.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/01/2014
Top Of The Morning To You
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| Lucky Irish Four Leaf Clover |
As usual, the Grassy Knoll Institute will reveal sexy red-headed Irish women, sexy green bikini's, some Irish humor, (Humour) Irish myths, Irish folklore, and Irish food in the days leading up to the feast of St. Patrick.
By the time you wake up at 5am on St. Patrick's day to partake in the ritual of consuming green eggs, green ham, and plenty of green beer, you will be stocked with all the Irish heritage knowledge you will need to get you through the day.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/08/2013
Irish Cardio Workout Sweeping The Nation
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| I Dare You To Look Away |
Dublin, Ireland, a new male fitness craze is sweeping the nation. No, it is not palates, or spinning, nor aerobics, but a much simpler exercise. Men come to the exercise studio, pay a small fee, and step onto a treadmill. In just a few seconds, a large curtain opens and the viewer is exposed to the scene above.
On the average, Men stay on the treadmill 2700% longer than normal increasing their cardio workout thus lending to weight loss and better heart and health condition.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/06/2013
Paddy Walks Into A Pub
A little Irish humor:
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Paddy walks into the local pub with a gun and yells out, "Now who be havin sex with me wife?" The pub gets quiet and all heads turn toward Paddy holding the six shooter. In the background of the very crowded pub a voice is heard saying, "You not be havin enough bullets in that gun Paddy!"
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/04/2013
Shopping For The Perfect St. Patrick's Day Outfit
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| Wearing of The Green |
Take your time....
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/17/2012
Everyone Is Irish On St. Patricks Day
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| Irish Storm Troopers |
These aren't the Leprechauns you were looking for.
Move along, these aren't the Leprechauns we were looking for.
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/16/2012
Leprechaun Mating Ritual
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| Leprechaun Mating Rituals Revealed |
All Leprechauns are males. There are no female Leprechauns.
Certainly doesn't make for a happy little cobbler.
Logically, one has to ask how Leprechauns procreate:
Once a year, a Leprechaun sets out on a sojourn that takes him into the desert of Las Vegas, Nevada. He then uses his gold coins from his pot of gold to seduce young beautiful women enticing them to remove clothing by throwing said coins at her.
Afterward, he slyly invites the smitten woman back to a private room with comfortable chairs. As the Leprechaun sits back in his chair, the smitten girl performs a mating ritual dance for him that brings a happy ending for all.
To increase the Leprechauns odds of procreating, he sometimes adds another female (Usually having to pay double for that type of action)
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Worst St. Patricks Day Float
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| Worst St. Patricks Day Float Ever |
And then you see it, creeping along from the rear slowly coming into focus. The worst St. Patrick's Day float.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/13/2012
Getting Pinched On St. Patrick's Day
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| Getting Pinched On St. Patricks Day |
There you have it, the reason for Wearin O The Green.
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
3/12/2012
A Little Irish Humor
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty terribly and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Mick and Seamus were called upon.
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."
The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."
The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."
Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."
"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he’s burnt pretty terrible. Roll him over." Following orders the mortician rolled Paddy over and Seamus looked at the body and said "Nope, tis ain’t Paddy."
The mortician thought it all rather odd what Seamus had done when Mick walked in to identify the body. Mick took one look at the body on the morgue slab and said, "Yup, he’s burnt real terrible like, roll him over."
The mortician did as Mick commanded and rolled him over and Mick looked down and said, "No, it ain’t Paddy."
Baffled, the mortician questioned Mick, "How can you tell by looking at his backside?" Mick said, "Well, Paddy had two assholes."
"What, he had two assholes" said the mortician.
Mick declared, "Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went into town, people would say, "Here’s Paddy with them two assholes."
LURKING, ERIN GOES BRALESS, ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
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