Nookie Green Irish Humor

To kick off the St. Patrick's Day weekend holiday, I offer an old family joke told over and over this time around St. Patrick's day.

When our family gets together, and there are a lot of us, we sit around the dinner table and tell old jokes. This is one of my favorites. Don’t stop me if you’ve heard it already, I have to much fun telling it again and again.

Father Flanagan enters the confessional ready to listen to the parishioners confess their sins. He hears the door creek open and a male voice begins to speak…..
“Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month.” Father Flanagan, hearing almost the same confession just the day before from Paddy begins to realize that Nookie Green is becoming very popular with the male parishioners. Then, he tells the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go now and say three Hail Mary’s and three Our Fathers.”

Soon, another man enters the confessional and begins, “Bless me Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.” This time Father Flanagan simply has to ask — “Who is Nookie Green?”
“A new widow woman in town,” the sinner replies. “Very well,” says the priest. “Go now and for penance, say ten Hail Mary’s and ten Our Fathers.” With that, the priest leaves the church wondering, what’s going on with this widow named Nookie Green?

The next morning in church Father Flanagan is preparing to deliver his sermon,when suddenly a gorgeously tall woman enters. All the men’s eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is a shiny bright green and way too short, and she is wearing matching shiny emerald green shoes, and a green boa.

Father Flanagan and the alter boys gasp, as the woman in the matching green outfit, sits there with her legs slightly spread apart. Father Flanagan turns to the alter boy and whispers, “Is that Nookie Green?” The alter boy, breathing hard, squints his eyes and replies; “No, I think it’s just the reflection off her shoes.”

Happy St. Patrick's Day To Ye

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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