Girl Scout Cookie Conspiracy

Girl Scout Cookie Conspiracy

Notice Anything Missing

As many American do each year, the Grassy Knoll Institute purchased Girl Scouts Of America cookies. My favorites are the peanut butter and shortbread ones. But that's not the point. What the Grassy Knoll Institute has discovered is shocking to say the least.

From the evidence gathered of months of study and investigation, we can only conclude that the Girl Scouts of America are ripping off its nations paying patrons.

Yes, that's right people. Ripping us off. The facts and photographic evidence is clear.

FACT: The cost of a box of cookies went up in price by over 10 percent.

FACT: The contents of each box of girl scout cookies have been reduced.

FACT: We are paying more for less.

Upon inspection of the box of short bread cookies, the appearance and artwork were the same as well as the size of the box. But when the box is opened, you can clearly see an almost two inch gap from the top of the box to the contents. Using another box of short bread cookies, 6 more cookies could be safely added without risk of crushing or crowding the integrity of the box.

Speaking to a spokesperson of the GSOA, it was explained that the box was full from the factory and that normal settling had occurred making the box of cookies seem less than full. The Grassy Knoll Institute understands that settling in a bag of flower, cement, cereal, or chips may occur, but not in a stacked carton like a can of Pringles potato chips or a box of Girl Scout cookies.

Hopefully next year, the Girl Scouts will finally reveal to the public that they are packaging less cookies per box but are charging more. The Grassy Knoll Institute is lurking and waiting for a response.

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Radio Signals From Space Recorded

The Arizona science observatory admitted to receiving an unexplained radio signal from deep space that could be taken as contact from an alien civilization.

The signal is originating from the Pisces and Aries constellations and has been confirmed that the it is not a repeating signal but emitting a sequence of binary equations. NASA and SETI already have a team of scientists pouring over the data in an attempt to decipher what the signal actually is.

The most popular theory is that it is simply a welcome beacon searching the galaxies for other intelligent life. The United States launched Voyager decades ago with the same hopes and aspirations. It seems that someone has actually phoned home.

Of course, other scientists are explaining away the signal as an unknown anomaly, astronomical phenomenon, or even feedback from the telescope itself.

This explanation is what the government is sticking with, feedback from an out of focus multi- million dollar telescope. The government understands that if word reached the public that a signal from another world was received it would cause panic and religious ramifications. So for now it is a malfunction. Until the secondary contact is received.

The Grassy Knoll Institute was lucky enough to obtain a copy of the signal. It was incoherent, but our cunning linguists were able to determine that the signal, or message was a reference to the Garden Of Eden. So far, this is what we have.

The first signal string was IN
The second signal string was AGODDA
The third signal string was DAVIDDA
The Grassy Knoll Institute scientists are very excited about this astonishing information. And it only took them 17 minutes and 31 seconds to decipher the message.

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