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| Catholic Nun sharks Breaching |
Showing posts with label shark week. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shark week. Show all posts
8/05/2013
Rare Catholic Nun Shark Breach
3/19/2011
Bring Me Solo And The Wookie
I was recently at the Ripley's Aquarium in the Smoky mountains in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. In the shark tank, this one particular sawfish kept circling and then finally settled right above to rest on the glass. As I was watching the fish, (That's what I do when I'm in aquariums) it started moving it's mouth. In that instant, the sawfish looked like Jabba The Hut. I started laughing. I pointed out Jabba to my wife Patty and of course I had to speak the obligatory line, "Bring me Solo and the Wookie!" Watch it again and listen to me state the classic line.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
1/01/2008
Gatlinburg Aquarium Shark Tank
On a tip from a reliable source that Jimmy Hoffa's remains were buried under the Smoky Mountains Aquarium owned and operated by Ripley's, the Grassy Knoll Institute scientists immediately went there to investigate. We didn't find Hoffa, however, we snapped a few shots while inside the aquarium.
As you can see, the aquarium is huge. Sharks and other fish swim on the side and above you as you wind your way through the aquarium.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
12/14/2007
Hooked On A Feeling
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| Shark Hooks In Womans Back |
Although we hauled this one into the boat, reluctantly we had to release the catch due to the Florida fish and wildlife license.
12/01/2007
Body Armor Sharks
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| Sharks With Body Armor |
With their continuing assault on the human population, Super Alien Sharks have mutated and now have genetically altered steel plating and incredibly, they still remain buoyant and ferocious hunters and excellent swimmers.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/25/2007
Shark Sinks Boat
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| Great White Shark Capsizes Fishing Boat |
Shark Attacks Fishing Boat!
Just when you thought it was safe to go fishing again, alien sharks attack. An estimated 35 foot great white alien shark sank a fishing boat off Martha's Vineyards this afternoon. No survivors were reported.
The photo above shows the shark breeching onto the boat using it's massive weight to capsize the boat. Being the beginning of spring, the Grassy Knoll Institute believes many more such alien shark sightings will appear.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/23/2007
Great White Shark Attack
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| Great White Shark Downs Jet Fighter |
A Coast Guard patrol team was dispatched by the Grassy Knoll Institute to capture the great white shark, but as of today, the shark has not been captured or seen.
Sarah, A concerned citizen, stated and I quote, "Hi wow what a shark. I love sharks. If you capture it please don't kill it. Its just like you and me. I think you should test it for science and find out stuff. Well bye bye good luck! Sarah!"
Our reply was simply: Sarah, we at the Grassy Knoll Institute share your beliefs concerning great white sharks. And we did capture it, and we did several tests on it, and we found out that sharks are quite delicious.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
10/15/2007
Shark Attack On City Street
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| Great White Shark Attack On City Street |
The Grassy Knoll Institute reports that a 30 foot great white Shark surfaced during a Flash Flood on a washed out backstreet at Ft. Meyers Beach, Florida.
As a neighbor waded into the street to help a stranded motorist, the great white shark attacked. Several eyewitnesses, Steve, Nancy, Frank, and Jack, snapped this photo just before the attack.
News At 11......
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
Toilet Seat Shark Attack
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| Toilet Seat Shark Attack |
Residential Shark Attack
Just when you thought it was safe to do a little reading in the library...
Great White Sharks are in the news again as one surfaced this week in a Rosemont, Illinois residential household. The occupant at the time barely escaped injury as he lept from the toilet in the nick of time. However, he did say the episode scared the crap out of him.
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
2/04/2003
Shark Week
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| Suited Up For Shark Week |
Today, Sunday, is the 26th anniversary to Shark Week, Discovery Channels popular series to make the public more aware of the splendor and danger of our ocean’s perfect eating machine. In honor of Shark Week, The Grassy Knoll Institute offers our bizarre shark stories for your entertainment. Cue the Jaws Theme Music.
Rare Catholic Nun Shark Breach
Shark Attacks Helicopter In San Francisco
Do You See The Shark Eye Test
Bring Me Solo And The Wookie
Gatlinburg Aquarium Shark Tank
Hooked On A Feeling
Body Armor Sharks
Great White Shark Capsizes Fishing Boat
Great White Shark Downs Jet Fighter
Great White Shark City Street Attack
Toilet Seat Shark Attack
Rare Catholic Nun Shark Breach
Shark Attacks Helicopter In San Francisco
Do You See The Shark Eye Test
Bring Me Solo And The Wookie
Gatlinburg Aquarium Shark Tank
Hooked On A Feeling
Body Armor Sharks
Great White Shark Capsizes Fishing Boat
Great White Shark Downs Jet Fighter
Great White Shark City Street Attack
Toilet Seat Shark Attack
LURKING ON THE GRASSY KNOLL
7/13/1995
Shark Attacks Helicopter
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| Shark Attacks Helicopter |
San Francisco Bay, California – July 13th, 1995
And You Think You Are Having A Bad Day
And You Think You Are Having A Bad Day
The San Francisco Chronicle reported today that a great white shark estimated at 27-30 feet in length made a surprise breach attacking a low hovering United States special forces UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter during Air Force air and sea manuevers.
Tragedy was thwarted however as the airman clinging to the bottom of the rescue ladder nimbly avoided the lunging shark and was quickly pulled up via winch and the helicopter climbed to a safer altitude.
A Grassy Knoll operative who snapped the photo was summoned to the San Francisco Bay town hall for an emergency meeting to cap information and keep panic of the citizens to a minimum. Council chairman Brody stated that this picture has “National Geographic Photo Of The Year” written all over it. Our Grassy Knoll operative replied to Brody, “Next time you think you are having a bad day at work, imagine how this airmen feels right now!”
Of course our operative complied with the city council and military unit and squashed the news story until we uncovered the reason for the shark attack. We found this incident to coincide with a similar swept under the rug event that occurred 18 months earlier.
The Grassy Knoll was involved in an ongoing investigation of a marine experiment conducted at the mysterious military base, Area 51. Scientists were attempting to boost the intelligence of great white sharks to assist them in the ever present danger of a foreign country terrorist attack.
Sharks have roamed the earth’s oceans for over 30 million years evolving into a perfect eating machine. The perfect hunter. The perfect predator. Sharks have no known natural enemies unless perhaps they consider humans as enemies or maybe merely a snack. Sharks and humans have had relatively rare contact until recently when scientists injected a select group of pregnant female sharks with super DNA engineered to boost the intelligence of the shark.
After the sharks birthed their offspring, the mothers were destroyed. The offspring were closely monitored and evaluated. It was hoped that the sharks would be able to communicate with humans to perform dangerous tasks and chores. Alas, after months of tests, the sharks became unmanageable and the experiments were deemed a failure. The sharks were released back into the wild of the ocean. The super sharks have now resurfaced and are now in attack mode showing up in the most unusual places. Expect many more attacks as the sharks are learning and adapting after each attack. The Grassy Knoll will keep you updated with each new super shark attack.
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